The raindrops caught in the sunlight looked like shards of crystal frozen in mid-air. It's cold today, well, at least, it seems that way to me. I've been cold for days now.

"People want to live long, but in the end what matters more is what we have been able to leave behind," As her brother began to speak, I recognized his words as the last words Rukia Kuchiki ever spoke, "the value we have created in our lives, the number of people we have made happy, and how much we have been able to grow and expand as a person."

I tore my gaze from the sky and settled it on Byakuya. He was staring at his family's burial site, a small gold locket in his hand that belonged to his sister. To him, it seemed no one else was there, a private conversation between him and Rukia, the last they would ever have.

I don't think anyone else saw what I saw in Byakuya. They saw the same cold, heartless man, but not me. When he set that locket down by her tombstone, I saw how hesitant he was, I noticed how his fingers caressed the chain for a fraction of a second before he let his little sisters favorite item rest with her. He stood proudly, his face was cold, yes, but it was a different cold. It was the same kind of cold my face was holding. And when he looked at me, I could see the pain in his eyes, because they mirrored mine. Today was the first day Byakuya and I shared anything in common. Isn't it ironic?

Today, we are burning men. There is a fire inside, caused by grief, pain, loss… It's burning us alive from the inside out. The only thing keeping us from bursting into flame is the coldness that surrounds us. It cools the fire just enough to keep us alive, to torture us, emotionally and physically until we have no clue what's happening around us.

The last three days passed in a blur, I can't tell you how I got here, I can't tell you if I've slept, or eaten. I don't know if I've cried, or screamed, or whispered 'I love you!' or growled 'I hate you!' The only thing I remember is the one thing I wish I could forget.

We were standing in the middle of a field, a hollow in front of us. Rukia and I were fighting it together so it would be no match for us, easy as 1, 2, 3. She went after it first, racing me to it, and we were laughing. Rukia might not have been as strong as me but she made it up in speed. I watched her jump, she was graceful in every way that I wasn't. Her kick to the back of its head sent the hollow flying face down into the dirt, and I ran to administer the final blow.

And that's when my world crashed down around me.

When I raised my sword, tentacles sprang from the hollows body. Two grabbed Rukia, she let her guard down. The other two were aimed for me. I thought I could easily sidestep them, but the hollow wrapped them around my ankles and I was falling. I saw the monster's intentions the moment before it happened but I had no way to stop it. I was helpless and useless, I felt so small in that second. A body, moving as fast as lightning towards my blade. And when my body finally hit the ground, I saw it, the image burned into my mind. Forever.

Impaled. My best friend. Impaled on my own sword.

I was pulled from my thoughts by a warm hand on my face, wiping the tears that I hadn't known were there. I was on my knees, in front of her grave, alone now except for this person standing in front of me. When I looked up, I saw those eyes that so much matched mine, the fire and ice rolling behind that carefully placed façade. Byakuya.

"Come with me, please… Ichigo."