The Dangers of Good Friends & Good Food
By: Nelys the Alchemist
Not so much food in this one. Friends are there for you when you're livid and ready to kill.
Chapter 2: Shopping
The dressing room was alive on this cold November morning. Alive with the heavy beat of the newest music, drifting across the dressing room stalls amidst the chatter of girlfriends, mothers and daughters. Zippers and the swish of fabric, the thunk of purses and shoes all worked hard to drive anyone with sanity and impatience batty and towards the exit.
"I just don't understand men."
Which was how they wanted it.
The curtain, strung across a room the size of a postage stamp and only there on the pretense of modesty, was yanked aside and a lone figure took a step out and glared at her comrade with a question in her fiery eyes.
Relena blinked and tried to hide her look of surprise with her disposable coffee cup. She hmm'd a moment and took a sip.
"That dress…" She started in a neutral tone, standing in the shadow of her own dressing room, across from her friend.
"Looks like a tuft of cotton candy." Dorothy finished, snapping her eyes down her slim shape in disgust. "Why did I let you talk me into trying it on?"
She snapped the curtain back in place and Relena resisted the urge to remind her who had chosen the dress. She certainly wouldn't have thought anything labeled 'striking' on the tag was meant for anything beyond bowling.
She ducked back into her dressing room and pawed through the hangers on the lone hook. After a minute of admiration for each article she pulled one out and quickly worked her way into it.
"With everything going on at the office…and he has no qualms about just walking off –" The clink of a hanger and a strained pant interrupted the clipped words and Relena saw a pale arm dart out of the curtain from the gape in her own curtain. "And leaving me. Stranded. Just like that." She stepped back out with a snap of her fingers to emphasize her point.
Relena poked her head out and grinned. "You look like you're wedged between two balloons."
Dorothy glanced at the shock of red satin that billowed out at each shoulder. The sleeves puffed up as though stuffed with cotton and the plunging neckline did little to detract from them. Then she looked down at the slit that ran up the dress and threw her hands out.
"I like it." She dared.
"What?" Relena never knew her friend to give in so easily. "The person who made that thing obviously came from a time when shoulder pads three feet high were the style. What are you going to do to get around that? Tease your hair to the ceiling?"
"The skirt-"
"A tube of lipstick."
Dorothy looked back down the length of the dress, face scrunched in intense scrutiny, before snapping the curtain back in place without a word.
"We don't even need men anymore." She said in a sour tone a moment later.
Relena rolled her eyes heavenward, noting the security camera and sticking her tongue out at it before stepping out and shaking her friend's 'door'.
"Yes we do," She replied. "They help relieve stress-"
"That's what vibrators are for."
"That's not what I meant!"
Dorothy's head peeked out from the folds of the fabric with true puzzlement on her face.
"What did you mean then?" She asked as she handed a bundle of what some called fashionable attire over to Relena with one bare arm.
Then she frowned.
"You're wearing a carpet bag." She idly remarked.
"This is the height of fashion." Sarcasm dripped from the rough wool of the tweed suit. Relena owned several, but the cut and color of this particular piece left something to be desired. She took the clothes and deposited them in the pile next to her chair with an exasperated sigh. "By doing the dirty things we don't want to. Didn't Quatre dig through the garbage that one time because you thought your credit card had been thrown out?"
Now it was Dorothy who rolled her eyes before she disappeared back behind the heavy fabric.
"That was his fault to begin with. And he didn't dig through the trash – he paid the busboy to do it. Not everyone has a knight in shining armor that will wade through toxic waste for your earring."
She came back from around the curtain with the hint of humor in her eyes. This one was a lovely shade of bold yellow, an off the shoulder number with a wrap for her arms and miles and miles of full skirts that rustled as she moved.
She tipped her head back and posed, hands on hips.
"You look like a duck."
She raised an eyebrow, the ghost of a grin passing across her lips. "I was thinking more banana chic."
Relena laughed and closed the curtain on her stall before selecting another item.
"It wasn't toxic waste, it was just toilet water," She shimmied and contorted in a manner Heero might have liked as she reached for the zipper. "But yes, he did it so I wouldn't have to. Isn't that an admirable enough quality to want men around?"
"No."
"Say that when your earrings fall in the toilet. Here-" She twisted around the curtain with her hands at her back and Dorothy moved the curtain aside. "Help me with this – damned thing. It's stuck." Expert hands found the hitch and smoothed out the fabric, a beautiful color of robins egg blue, and pulled it into place at the neckline.
Relena fretted and tugged until it felt right then turned to Dorothy, eyes still on the dress.
"This one is kind of nice I think." She commented, picking at lint and tugging at the neckline. Curious at the lack of response she glanced up.
Dorothy had her arms crossed and a frozen expression of horror on her face.
"You look…" She caught herself. "Announcing to the world that It's A Boy?"
Relena looked back down at herself before scurrying back into her stall.
"I told him that was it," Dorothy continued. "I'm not dealing with that man anymore." She said with a note of finality.
"Let me get this straight. The world has ended?" The honey-blond replied amidst the shuffle of fabric. "Because he broke your dinner date and borrowed your car?"
"He did not JUST borrow my car Relena," She could hear the anger and frustration in her friend's voice. "He waltzed into my office while I was in a meeting, took my 1978 Firebird that I had IMPORTED from earth, without asking me and used it to drive that common street walker home. This on a day that was supposed to be our anniversary! He should be lucky I don't skin him for that."
"Quatre's secretary is not a street walker – what anniversary?"
"It's been six weeks since we bought the house."
They both waltzed out at the same time and Dorothy arched an eyebrow.
"I think that's what she was wearing. It looks cheap enough."
"What?" Relena asked, shrugging her bare shoulders. "Short and strapless means street walker?"
"When combined with any color commonly used to highlight text, yes."
She pursed her lips and eyed the outfit adorning the irate woman in front of her.
"My grandmother wore that last week to her yacht club."
Dorothy gasp.
"Bitch." She snapped before stomping back into her stall.
Relena smirked and drew a check mark with her finger for the benefit of the camera before returning to her own stall.
"Just because she's single does not mean Quatre is banned from being polite. And anyway why are you in such a snit, six weeks isn't some earth shattering record for a couple living together, and doesn't he borrow your car all the time?" She called over as she pawed her way into the bundle in her hands in search of the fastener.
"He has been expressly forbid from taking my car without asking. He didn't ask because he knew I'd say no and then he would have been forced to use that sensible monstrosity he's trying to drive me away with." An abrupt sigh was heard, breaking her tirade. "And six weeks is a very long time for someone who used to make men grovel at her feet my dear. I've never traded so much to be with one man before."
"Well what did he say when you told him as much?" Two minutes, far too much time to find a zipper, and Relena was pulling the garment over her head.
"He told me I was being ridiculous." Dorothy's voice was muffled by the sharp sound of hangers being angrily slid across a metal bar. "He tried to lie about an impromptu meeting with the new president of Mars. I didn't stay to listen to the rest of it."
"Ta-da!" Relena said, once more in the hall. Dorothy leaned out with the curtain wrapped around her and gave a snort when Relena struck a pose, strutting to the full length mirror and back.
Thick and heavy looking brown satin wrapped Relena from shoulder to ankle. The dark brown slippery material hung from each shoulder to touch her wrists with wide billowy sleeves. The wrap style crossed her chest and gave her the illusion of sharp breasts and a wide belt of the same fabric wound around her waist. The pant legs billowed in the same way straight down to her ankles.
Dorothy raised her eyebrows and looked down her nose at her blonde friend.
"I think you stole that from my second floor window." She said.
"It zips up the back," She confided in a smug tone.
"It's also a light blocking fabric, I'll trust you'll hang it back once you're through?"
"I shall tell your foooortune," Relena waved her hands towards her, an accent sprinkling her words.
Dorothy pulled back behind the curtain.
"Six! I see six leetle blonde babies for you-ooOOoo."
A dress came flying overhead and Relena laughed and ducked back into her stall to avoid it.
"Well men are still worth having around," She commented, pulling a cotton piece off the hanger. "I don't care how independent women are supposed to be, I like having a door opened for me."
"Anyone will hold a door open for you."
"Without having to pay them! Look look." Relena's tone was exasperated but she sighed and struck a pose. Dorothy's face said determined but she poked her head out anyway.
It was pale green and made of tight but stretchy material with white stripes wrapping the short sleeves. It ended just about where indecency began and had a small ruffle that no one would mistake for a skirt. The collar was high and one that belonged to a man's work shirt, with three buttons open at the neck and the same white stripe wrapping around it.
"Tennis anyone?" Relena asked with a flutter of her eyelashes.
"They'll certainly get a show when you retrieve the ball." Dorothy grinned. "An athletic prostitute, how novel. You can play ball in the house, or play with-"
"How much will you put down that I can get out of the house in this?"
"That depends. Are you going to have to retrieve your purse from the floor?" The image of Heero frozen in horror, and excitement, jumped to mind and both girls ducked back into their dressing rooms.
Relena pulled the dress off and her hair fought for freedom. She blew it out of her face and started smoothing it out with both hands. Her curtain was tugged this time and she obediently stuck her head out.
Dorothy struck a pose in a cream colored polyester dress that hit her mid-thigh. While the skirt was short the sleeves were long and the fabric gathered at her neck. Strips of obviously fake diamonds sneaked around each wrist and the incredibly high neckline.
"Where-" Relena couldn't believe such a thing was actually for sale.
"Wait, you haven't seen the best part." She spun around and bent over, hands on her knees. The dress not only zipped from her waist to her neck, but the skirt in front was actually shorts.
Laughter bubbled forth before she could stop it and she held on to the curtain for support.
"A gay prince!" She gasp through her laughter.
Dorothy straightened up with an indignant look on her face, turned back around and shot Relena a frosty glance down the bridge of her nose.
"You will refer to me as your majesty when I address you. Peasant." She said icily before strolling back into her cube and snapping the curtain closed.
Relena doubled over and tears ran down her face before she could control herself. She straightened up and after a minute of looking around her disheveled box called out to Dorothy.
"You win, I'm all out." She said and started pulling her own clothes back on, a dark brown skirt that hit her at the calf with warm brown boots, topped with a deep blue sweater.
"That was the piece de resistance of my collection. Lunch?"
"Wonderful, Grand Rome? I hear they have a wonderful new chicken entrée." Relena pulled an envelope out of her purse and stuck it loosely between the folds of fabric that adorned the floor before stepping out of the stall.
Dorothy came out a minute later, wearing a cashmere gray sweater over tight black jeans that cost more than everything strewn across the floor.
"Lovely," She said picking her way across the mess they made and towards the exit. "You left your usual bit of charity? Really Relena, it is their job to clean up, they do get paid for it."
"I know," Came the usual reply. "But we do leave an awful mess. I feel better giving them something for our fun." Relena froze suddenly, then threw Dorothy a look.
"A meeting with the president of Mars? Dorothy, I arranged that meeting and it was last minute, Quatre has been trying to get a contract for the security set-up of the new government infrastructure they're building. The president's plane was leaving within the hour."
"Oh?" Dorothy glanced at her nails, unfazed with the news. "And did he get the contract?"
"Yes, his secretary notarized it right there on the tarmac," She blew out a frustrated breath as they moved towards the exit. "Dorothy, he was telling you the truth."
"Well," She thought a moment, all traces of anger gone. "Perhaps I can forgive him then. We'll see. What kind of dessert menu does Grand Rome have? I'm in the mood for something decadent."
End – thanks for reading!!
I must say, Relena's remark about the last dress I got from my very homosexual friend who said that very thing when I waltzed out in the very same dress described above. So, y'know, it's cool.
All dress descriptions come from my personal closet where I've gathered a very odd assortment. Some I've come to my senses on and gotten rid of. Others I shall never part with even if they do call me the Swiss Miss girl when I wear it….