Chapter 3

His Story

"Well, Miss Alice," he began timidly, "I'm from the South…do I have to start at the beginning…or will an outline be satisfactory?" I bubbled over with excitement! I'd finally know him. KNOW him, know him!

"Oh yes, yes do tell all. I want to hear all about you!" I smiled; my expression was probably entertaining to him. He struggled to keep his mouth in a tight, straight line, but I saw the faint tugging at his lips…His perfectly full lips, light pink… I tiny wave of embarrassment washed over me. What was wrong with me?! Focus, Alice!

"I was created by a vampire named Maria in the time of the wars of the South, 1861. She was my…," I cut him off, already confused. "Wait…what exactly do you mean by created?" I flinched as I said the last word; I was not entirely sure why it made me shiver. He looked at me sadly, as if with a forgiving expression.

"So, do you not remember your transformation?" Jasper asked slowly.

"No, I told you, the farthest memory I have is waking up o the ground," I reminded him.

"Well, I suppose having no memory of your transformation is a good thing," he said with a grimace. That peeked my interest. I was about to ask the reason behind his statement but he answered before I could get the chance. "It's not really something I like remember."

I was suddenly impatient. I wanted him to stop cutting corners like…he was trying to…I don't know…protect me?

"Well, a vampire is created when another vampire bites them and leaves the venom to spread. It is a difficult thing to do; stopping the instinct to feed. I cannot understand why your creator would leave you though, it's not normal."

He looked at me, as if weighing my expression. I stared intently into his dull red eyes, waiting for him to continue. His voice was warming every inch of my body. Filling it with some unknown substance that left me begging for more.

"So Maria found my extra abilities useful –" I cut him off again. "You can see the future too?!" I asked grinning ear to ear.

"No, no I can…fell what you feel…and control how you feel," I looked at him in awe. That was so…amazing! Perhaps my expression was easily readable because he then offered a demonstration of his unique powers.

"Are you angry?" Jasper began. "No, why would I be?" I was with the most perfect person (person used loosely) on the face of the earth, what did I have to be angry with? Nothing. But I could feel my jaw lock with frustration as he stared intently at me. A wave of rage flooded through me and I even because shaking with anger. I felt my face harden and my breathing quickened.

"How about now?" he asked carefully. I didn't answer, afraid that I might explode with rage if I did. He inhaled deeply and just like that, the feeling of pure rage was lifted. I looked mystified at him.

"That was..." I couldn't think of any way to end my sentence in a semi-intelligent manner. He chuckled at my expression, causing his whole body to shake against mine slightly.

I continued asking questions. Questions about the war he spoke of, his abilities and how they helped, his friends. I could tell he was mildly censoring his responses. When someone uses the term "unpleasant" to describe a war, you kind of get the idea that they don't want to go into detail…

"Soon I began to get negative feedback from Maria," now Jasper explained his reasons for leaving, " fear, malice, and I began to prepare to destroy my only ally, my creator, my teacher, the very core of my existence…" I looked at him sadly. The way she described Maria made me uneasy.

He interpreted my uneasiness incorrectly however. "I didn't want to kill her," he vouched for himself. "I had never known anyone as much as I'd known her and we had spent many decades as partners," he explained. He stopped for a moment allowing a question I'd been hoping to swallow jump forth from my throat.

"Were you in love with Maria?"

Jasper had the 'pathetically confused' expression plastered to his face once again. He contemplated for a moment before answering my question. "Love…is what Peter feels for Charlotte." It had an unappealing after taste. He spoke slowly, choosing his words carefully. "That is the only guide I have to judge what love is. Peter will die for Charlotte, any day, without a doubt. I…wouldn't, for Maria, and she wouldn't for me." He concluded quickly as if forcing his words to make sense.

I looked at him, doubtful he was speaking the complete truth.

"It was easy for me to leave her when Peter came back for me. I had grown tired of her greed and bloodlust, her vengeance and brutality. I was glad that I didn't have to kill her, but I would have, had it become necessary. She was my closest companion but I was not in love with her."

I looked into his eyes, hoping I wouldn't be stunned by their beauty, seeing whether he was sure of himself. He was, I could see the confidence in his eyes as he stared intently at me. Relief flooded me and I felt like a complete imbecile. What was the point of feeling relief if he didn't feel the same. I back-tracked and mentally slapped myself in the forehead. What did I feel?! Why?! I decided I might as well give myself over to the feelings before I did something rash.

I stroked his fingers gently hoping I could find some way to understand his mind.

"So you don't like killing people?" I asked.

My question caught Jasper off guard. "Humans? No. But what choice have I? I need sustenance." He seemed to drift away for a moment. Nostalgia filled his face.

"Yes, we do have a choice, like Carlisle," I reminded him kindly. He didn't have to feel so hopeless. Perhaps I could make him see that…

He seemed to be determined to prove that Carlisle and his family couldn't possibly survive on only animals. "Miss Alice, it is not our nature to hunt animals. They do not taste anywhere near as good as humans and neither are they satisfying. I have never heard of a vampire surviving solely on the blood of animals. It is unfathomable."

Perhaps it was that he wanted to be right, so that he could justify our actions? I pondered that for a moment. It made since, I could see so clearly that he didn't like hurting humans. It pained him so that he wanted…no needed justification for his actions.

"We both cannot kill people, so…do we give in to our new instincts to sacrifice ourselves anddisregard what we both know to be painful – to say the least – immoral and cruel…or, do we make the sacrifice – sacrifice our desire – to walk closer to…to…" I struggled to find some way that he may understand what I meant. "Normalcy?" I settled for.

It was obvious my little speech was not what he'd wanted to hear. But…it was what I believed.

"I don't know" he said harshly. I pulled back, shocked by the callousness of his voice. He looked slightly apologetic. "But I do know that I am very thirsty and require a drink. It has been nice to make your acquaintance, Miss Alice. Good evening."

He stood quickly, ripping his hand out of mine. Without thinking I reached out to grab it again. "Please!" I begged. I hadn't meant to shout, but my body seemed to be acting without my own input at this point. I pulled him back slightly toward the bed. "Don't leave me…" My desperation shone brightly in my voice and expression. I needed Jasper. I didn't want to be alone…ever again.

Every part of me cried out for his company, his praise, his touch. I was lost…just as lost as Jasper…I couldn't – no, wouldn't be made lost again. "I…am lost…Jasper" I explained, trying to calm myself. I was so lonely…so in need it was pitiful. But so was he! Why would he want to go back to the feeling of being useless…pointless…alone?

"Okay, okay," he granted. "Miss Alice, listen to me. I really am thirsty. We can discuss our diet when I come back. I will come back tonight. I promise you." The sincerity was so clear in his voice I was immediately reassured. I nodded slightly and watched him leave. Just before closing the door, he turned his head back to look at me. I wasn't sure what it was that he was thinking or feeling, but I was sure it was something along the lines of what I was feeling. Reverie.

No serious comments for this chapter...But do you guys think I captured Alice? I'm not sure, I'm trying super hard lol.