Reasons that reason cannot know

Chapter 5

"No, I want them exactly as in my sketches, I don't care what Victoria says."

Again! Victoria had become even worse, if that was possible, after Lucas' visit in New York. How could she be such a bitch? Now, when she had Anna, it was even more difficult to understand her actions. All Brooke knew was that her daughter meant the world to her. Apparently, for Victoria her own daughter meant nothing. But Brooke wouldn't let that bring her down. She had to prove her mother that she was wrong.

Brooke was thinking when Millie came in.

"Brooke, there is a woman waiting for you who told me to quote her: 'Tell that slut to get her fat ass out of her office or to invite my hot body in'. Should I let her in or call the security?"

Brooke knew who was there and she couldn't believe it. She ran out of her office and saw her.

"Well, well, well! Hi, slut!"

Brooke hugged Rachel, more than happy to see her.

"Hey, you, whore! What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see again how much better my ass looks than yours, of course. Also, I heard that you needed young hot girl to be the face of your new line. And so, here I am."

"I'm really glad to see you, Rachel! I missed you! Ok, wait here for a minute and we'll go out, ok?"

"Ok, bitch."

Brooke went in her office. She took her bag and she put Anna in her baby carriage.

"Hey, honey, we're going out! I want you to meet someone."

She went back to where Rachel was waiting for her.

"What the hell is that? Don't tell me you have a sister!"

"No, Rach. Meet Anna, my daughter."

Rachel was shocked, and this wasn't something that happened very often.

"Now I get it."

"What?"

"Why Lucas told me you need your friends."

What? Lucas called Rachel?

"He called me and said that you need your friends now and that it would be good if I come to check on you. But he had to prepare me for this."

Brooke couldn't believe it. She knew Lucas was worried about the two of them, but sending Rachel wasn't what she expected.

"Rach, let's go and we'll talk about everything, ok?"

*-*-*

"So, you're a mom. Brooke, even when I thought you were pregnant I couldn't imagine it. And now…"

"I couldn't see myself as a mother too, but when it happened it felt all right."

They were at Brooke's and it seemed that they had a lot to talk about.

"So, Lucas called you. What did he say and when did he call you?"

"A week ago. He asked me if we've been in touch lately and when I said no, he told me that you need your friends more than ever. Since I wasn't into something serious, just traveling and hooking up with some random guys, I decided to check on you. I knew you had the company now I was thinking of calling you to try me for a model. I expected that he meant that you had a bad break up, that you got fat, or that something else happened but not that you have a baby. What's the story?"

Brooke thought about what Rachel said. Lucas was worrying and he knew it was hard for her to be alone. He was so amazing. That's why she loved him so much.

"Believe me, it's long and complicated."

"I have all the time in the world. Who is her father?"

It would be the first time for Brooke to tell her story out loud to someone. She was scared.

"Promise me you won't tell anyone about that."

"Come on, Brooke, you know I won't."

Brooke took a deep breathe and started talking. She told Rachel everything: how all her the efforts she put in convincing even herself that she's over him she realized she still loved him, how perfect it felt to be kissing him, touching him again, how hard was letting him go again, how scared was she when she first learned she was pregnant, how happy she was later, how Victoria tried everything make her give up the child, how hurt she was from her own mother, how everything seemed just all right when she held Anna in her arms for the very first time, how many doubts she had if she could be a good mother, how confused was she when she saw Lucas again, how heart was breaking as she was lying to him, how perfect felt to be the three of them and how hard was losing Lucas again, but that was what she had to do. When Brooke was confessing all this, it was hard, because she felt every second of it all over again, but she felt relief to have someone who knew the whole truth. Rachel listened to her carefully, without interrupting her. When Brooke finished, she sighed and said:

"Brooke, why do you always put everyone and everything above you? Don't you think you deserve to think about yourself?"

Brooke was looking at Anna, who was playing with one toy.

"Rachel, they are all people I love so much and I want them to be happy. For me, it's enough to have Anna and to know that she's ok and that she's happy. I thought a lot about her, living without a father. But I think it would be worse to have a father who is with her mother just because of her. You know if I told Lucas I was pregnant, he would stay with me. But I know he doesn't love me. Not in that way. He would be unhappy if he had to be with me when she loves Peyton. And what about her, Rachel? She would be devastated. I couldn't do that to her."

"That is exactly what I'm talking about. It's normal now to put Anna above everything, but for just one time, put yourself above Lucas or Peyton. Wasn't it enough that you broke up with him because of her? Don't lie to me it was not about her. If she hadn't told you she loved him, you would never think of letting him go, Brooke. And then, on the final game. Wasn't it you who told Lucas to go to her? Come on, you know I'm right."

And she was. Brooke haven't told anybody, but the truth was that no matter how mad she was at Peyton, she still loved her too much and couldn't do this to her. Yes, later she wanted to try again with Lucas, but deep inside her heart, she knew nothing would come out of it.

"Someday, she's going to ask you about her daddy. What are you going to tell her?"

"I really don't know, but I'll think about it when this day approaches."

Rachel was looking at Anna, and then she turned to Brooke.

"Look, I know I'm not the best person for helping a single mother with a baby, but got your back."

"Thanks, Rach! "

The two of them hugged.

"Where are you staying?"

"For now, in "Plaza" till I find something."

"If you want you can stay here."

"Brooke, thanks, but you know who I am and I won't be the right type of example for her. And, when I wanna get some hottie in my room baby crying will kill the moment."

They both smiled.

"Ok then. You're trials are tomorrow at 10. Be gorgeous."

"I always am."

"So know, Gatina, tell me where were you all this time, what were you doing, who with and was he good?"