Reasons that reason cannot know

Chapter 6

"Hi. It's Peyton."

Brooke was surprised. The two of them haven't talked in years.

"Hey. Didn't expect to hear you. It's a bit late."

"Yeah, I'm, I'm sorry, I know it's late there. I just… What happened to us? Ya know?"

"No, I don't. I wish I knew. What's going on?"

"I don't know who I am anymore. Or how I got here. I miss who I used to be."

"I know what you mean. Sometimes I just wish things were easier."

"I wanna have a home again ya know? And real friends. Ya know, the kind of friendships we used to believe in. I miss that. And I miss you. I guess I just miss all of it. Does any of that make any sense?"

"Yeah. It makes all the sense in the world, Peyton. Four years ago, it all seemed so clear didn't it? Conquer the world, save the world, live happily ever after."

"Are you happy, Brooke?"

" Not always. But still, most of the time I am. Are you?"

"No."

"Okay, let me ask you something. What is going to make you happy Peyton? Is it how you look, or the car you drive, or the people you know? Is it money, or celebrity or power or accomplishments? Because I have all those things and they're just not enough. There is other thing that makes sense of everything."

"And what it is?"

"Love. And that love can be for a boy or for a child or for a place. But where you find it is up to you. So where are you going to find that love, Peyton?"

"I think I need to go home."

"Yeah, I was hoping you'd say that. Because even thou I have everything here, I still feel like this is not where I belong."

*-*-*

Brooke was looking at her daughter. Anna meant the world to her. However, she still felt like she needed to go home to feel complete. And here they were, on the plane to Tree Hill. Brooke was scared. Scared of looking Peyton in the eyes… Not that she regretted what happened, because she didn't even for a second, but she knew it was not fair to Peyton. Scared for being around Lucas all the time… But there are moments in life when you just have to face your fears and do what you're supposed to. And that was one of these moments. Brooke was going home. She closed her eyes and the flashbacks started: the first time she met Peyton, their little rituals through the years, the first time she met Lucas, the moment she realized she has fallen in love with him, the time when they were just friend even thou Brooke wanted more, the first time he told her he loved her, the night when he convinced her he loved her in the rain, when she started her designs, the moments she had with Mouth, Haley, Nathan, Peyton, Rachel and Lucas… Brooke smiled. She knew it was going to be all right. Because there was only one Tree Hill and that was her home.

*-*-*

She saw her, waiting there. It felt so good to see her. Peyton Sawyer was more than friend was. She was Brooke's best friend. All those years, the time they haven't been in touch, it didn't matter. Because true friendship survives it. And that's what Brooke and Peyton had. And in her heart, Brooke knew that if somehow Peyton learned the truth, she'd forgive her.

Peyton saw Brooke and smiled, and her best friend smiled back. It was so good to see her. Because after all this time, B. Davis was still her best friend. Brooke looked down and Peyton did the same. There was a little girl, who looked just like Brooke. Peyton was flurried.

"Hey, P. Sawyer! God, I missed you!"

"I missed you too, B. Davis!"

They hugged and Brooke whispered:
"It's gonna be ok, we're home now. I want you to meet someone special."

Brooke took her daughter in her hands.

"Hey, buddy. Tell this beautiful girl what's your name."

"Anna."

Peyton was a bit shocked.

"Hey, Anna. I'm Peyton."

The little girl smiled.

"Mom, I wanna sleep."

"OK, honey, let's get you to bed."

Brooke looked at Peyton and said:

"I'll tell you later. Let's go now."

Peyton put her arm around Brooke's shoulder and they left.

*-*-*

"Good night, honey. Sweet dreams."

"Love you, mama."

"Love you more, baby girl."

Brooke kissed Anna's forehead and left the room. Then, she went to the living room of the apartment she and Peyton booked. Her friend was sitting there. Brooke knew what was coming. She had to explain to Peyton. But there was no way she was telling her the truth. She'd have to lie again and Brooke hated herself for doing it, but she just didn't have a choice.

"Hey, P. Sawyer."

She turned around and Brooke sat next to her.

"Brooke, is she really your daughter?"

Peyton looked really confused.

"Yes, she is, Peyton."

"But why didn't you tell me?"

Brooke took a deep breath.

"Peyton, I just couldn't call you months after we last talked and tell you that I'm pregnant. You know things were different."

"But this is a really big step, Brooke."

"Yeah, and saying 'no' to Lucas wasn't right? You didn't call me when that happened."

This made Peyton upset.

"How do you know about that?"

"The night after you two broke up, he was in New York to meet the editor who wanted to publish his novel. We met and he told me. I was surprised you didn't call me."

"Brooke, I was a mess. I was hurting and I didn't want to talk to anyone, but that's different. You have a daughter, Brooke! Will you at least now tell me the whole story?"

Brooke felt uncomfortable. She had to be strong once again.

"3 years ago, I had a one-night stand with a guy. 3 weeks later, I learned I was pregnant. I decided not to tell him, because that night meant nothing to him. He had his own life and it was far away from being a father. So I gave birth to Anna and I'm raising her on my own. That's it."

"Don't you think he has the right to know?"

"Peyton, believe me, it's best thing for him."

"Why didn't you tell me? I'd help you, I'd be there for you. You sure need and probably still need someone by your side."

"I had to be strong, especially with Bitchtoria acting like getting pregnant is the most awful thing I could have done. And I didn't want to put anybody in this. I had to do it on my own."

"Do you regret?"

Peyton looked Brooke in the eyes.

"For having Anna? Not for a second. My daughter is my world. If I didn't have her, I don't know how I could bare Victoria's behavior."

"Honey, I could help you… You can always come to me."

"I know it, but, Peyton, you had enough to deal with. Tell me what happened between you and Lucas."

"You know what happened."

"Come on, P. Sawyer, tell me everything. I can't believe you broke up with Lucas like that. You loved him so much."

Brooke really needed to know the truth. Because of Peyton, because of Lucas, and because of herself. She needed to know why Peyton gave up on him, she needed to know if her sacrifice was worth it or no.

"I was afraid, Brooke. It was so sudden, I didn't expect anything like that, especially when we were apart so much time. And I never said 'no', I asked him to wait. Now I realized how it seemed to him, like I didn't love him enough, that I wasn't sure I wanna spend my life with him. I should have said 'yes'."

Peyton was crying. She loved Lucas and Brooke knew it. She was just not ready. Brooke hugged here and said:

"Come here. I told Lucas something long time ago, in our junior year. People that are meant to be together always find the way in the end. And you two are those people. You'll fix it somehow, someday."

"I love you, B. Davis."

"I love you too, P. Sawyer."