Story two: Apple pie always leads to things exploding

Disclaimer: haha, naruto isn't mine, and I'm pretty sure the OC isn't either. all well

At first Deidara can't close his eyes. At first, he wasn't capable of breathing, or doing much at all. At first, the end didn't seem possible: this conclusion should not exist in a reasonable world where reasonable people exist with reasonable intellects and reasonable interests and just reasonable everything.

Then again Tobi existed in this world. He wouldn't much longer, if he had any say in the matter, but the lives of orange-masked men who act like children for whatever purpose wasn't on the top of his list of things to do (to kill is implied, for only weaklings like the Konoha ballerinas ever did anything else). No, Tobi did not occupy the brain waves of the slightly fuming blond. Today's topic was of a more…personal matter.

When at last the use of his vocal cords was regained, Deidara's shriek set off an unintentional summoning which brought his annoyingly bouncy partner into the room with a questioning manner and a very hot apple pie in his hands. Before Tobi had been able to open his unseen mouth, Deidara answered: "T-THEY CANCELED THE OC!" before promptly fainting into a slight coma that would have lasted two days if Tobi had not deduced that the smell of apple pie was best inhaled when it is directly on top of the nose.

Waking up with a face covered in the gooey substance hidden beneath the pie crust, Deidara began to spit out the apples that had gotten into his mouth before he sighed and pulled himself up dramatically from his ungraceful landing. Tobi tried to lay a hand to lay his hand on his friend's shoulder in a most casual manner, but Deidara was a man of the instincts that do not fade even in the most traumatic of moments, and quickly shrugged the offending appendage off his joint before beginning his rant: "I can't believe those gelatinous whores would dare cancel such an appealing show!" he exclaimed to Tobi while walking to the bathroom to get the pie off of his face, "I still need to know if Kaitlin and Will get together!!"

Storming off in a huff, the blond ranted all the way to the bathroom where he stopped periodically to focus on rinsing his hair between wild gestures that emphasized such points as Ryan's stupidity and how Seth and Summer should have never broken up in the first place because really, they were soul mates. When at last Deidara's sad form flopped onto the couch, the Tobi stood up and began to clean up the apple pie on the floor, giving off the airs of one who smiles too much before giving a helpful chirp, "Don't worry Deidara-sempai, I'm sure that once you've finished your bomb making classes you can go right over to the studio and blow it up in a fabulous work of art!"

Hearing his teammate's voice, Deidara was instantly snapped back into reality where things actually could get more annoying than a mere cancelation of a television series; much, much worse. Tobi continued with his motivational speech while wheels behind Deidara's green eyes began to churn in a very familiar manner. He admitted the image of the FOX studio exploding was quite appealing, but the waiting part was not. It was better to act quickly so that should they get captured sneaking explosives into a public place, a temporary insanity defence could be set up to secure their freedom in court.

With that, Deidara sat up with a gleam in his eyes that was none to friendly. Tobi unconsciously took a step back, while silencing his chatter with an uncharacteristic pause for breath. As an evil grin grew upon the blond's face, and behind his mask Tobi's eyes grew wide, knowing that something bad was about to happen, and by the looks of it, the plan would involve several of the hidden—

"Hey Tobi, remember when I told you about tetrytol…"

Note: i love deidara so much :) review!