A.N.: Thanks for all the amazing reviews!!! Over 40! You work well under blackmail, I have to say ;)
Take your time reading this one. It's the second to last...
There's a line in there taken from The X-Files. Let's see who's a fan.
Chapter 15
The Intervention
"Did he say why he wanted us to meet him? And why here?" Brennan asked Booth as he parked the SUV in front of the diner.
"He just asked if we could drop by, but it sounded important."
"Did you give him the crime scene photos? Maybe he got something off of them," she suggested.
Hodgins' wish for a dead body had been granted. A woman, early thirties, had been found, completely skinned, in a file cabinet of a dentist clinic. So far, they had identified her, but had found no connection to either of the two dentists or to any other employees.
"Maybe," he said, holding the restaurant door open for her. As soon as she past in front of him, he put his hand on her lower back, without thinking, and guided her –as if she needed help- to their table by the window, which Sweets had already high jacked.
"Hi, guys," he greeted them. "Thanks for meeting me."
Brennan smiled, Booth grunted, and they both sat down in front of him, next to each other.
"What was important enough to meet right away but not enough to meet in your office?" Booth asked, pretending to be more annoyed than he actually was.
Sweets took a deep breath to answer, but Brennan asked another question before he had a chance to.
"Did you find out something about the case?"
He turned to her.
"I didn't get a chance to look at the pictures, yet."
"Then what are we doing here?" Booth wondered.
"I thought you would be more receptive to what I have to say in a non-clinical environment."
Booth frowned. Brennan fidgeted. Sweets explained.
"Since you both seem to be comfortable here, I thought it would be an appropriate setting for a discussion."
"I thought we were done with the shrinking," Booth let out.
"You told the Director of the FBI we didn't need any more therapy. That we were fine," Brennan continued.
"Well, that was before."
"Before what?" the anthropologist asked, looking at Booth, afraid she already knew what this was about.
"Would you like a cup of coffee or..." Receptive, my eye. "No? Ok."
Booth rolled his eyes and sank into his seat, hoping the doc would just get on with it so he and his partner could go back to their investigation. But Brennan saw the young man bring his shoulders back and put his shrink face on. Uh, oh !
"It is my understanding that..."
"I do would like some coffee!" Brennan interjected.
Sweets nodded with a smile. She was trying sidetrack him, to delay the inevitable. It didn't matter. They would have this conversation today if it killed him.
"I'll be right back, then," he let out before heading to the counter to find the waitress.
"What are you doing, Bones? You want this to take all day?" Booth whispered, leaning in, a hand on her forearm.
"He offered us coffee. I wanted some. That's all."
Sweets came back quickly. Booth took his hand off of Brennan's arm, but it didn't go unnoticed by the trained eye of the psychologist.
"Here you go," he said, slowly putting the cup in front of Brennan.
She whispered a thank you, hoping Booth would ask for pie. She really didn't want to hear what the therapist had to say.
"So? What is it, Sweets?" Booth pressed on.
Brennan tightened her grip on the hot mug. Sweets looked so serious, she got nervous. She had to stop this silence from suffocating them all.
"Is the FBI splitting us up?" she dropped. Her heart was racing, her mind was spinning.
"What?!" Booth croaked, suddenly panicking. "Are you serious?" he said, looking from Brennan to Sweets to Brennan again.
"No! No!" Sweets vehemently denied. "It's nothing like that."
Brennan breathed with a little more ease. For a second there, she had foreseen her whole world collapse next to her.
"Listen," Sweets said, completely stern. "I know what's about to happen and I want to be there for you," he affirmed, looking at them both.
Booth snorted, a witty comeback all ready. He opened his mouth. "Wh..."
"Stop!" Sweets firmly ordered. Never had they seen him like this. In control and unwilling to buy their crap. "I don't want to hear one more deflection. No more jokes. No more pretend ignorance. Quite frankly, it's getting old."
The partners were frozen in place. They couldn't even blink. He continued.
"You can't play those cards anymore. You have to face it. Deal with this."
With what? Booth desperately wanted to say. But he knew what. He knew. And he was more than angry. This was none of his business. It was none of anyone's business but his. And hers.
Backed into a corner, Brennan and Booth exchanged a furtive glance. He had rarely seen Bones so uncomfortable. He had to say it, even if it sounded mean.
"And why would we discuss this with you?"
"I want to be there for you both," he simply said. And before Booth could argue, he added, "I don't want your partnership, your career or my career to suffer."
Brennan knew what the shrink was inferring, but she still needed confirmation.
"I don't understand..."
Sweets locked eyes with her.
"I know you say you will never sleep together," he explained, "but I need you to acknowledge the possibility and to promise me that if the urge..."
"I am not discussing my urges with you, pal." That sounded aggressive, but Booth was far from caring.
Sweets kept on going. He was unstoppable.
"I just want to help."
Angst ridden and eager for this whole mess to be over with, an angry Booth said, "We don't need your help! We don't need anybody to stick their nose in this!"
Sweets had picked up on the fact that Dr Brennan was unusually quiet. She was simply looking at him again, very subdued. He tried to read her. For a second, he could have sworn she was sending an S.O.S. signal. But he had to be mistaken, he convinced himself.
Brennan bit her lips as her partner lashed out. She locked her arms over her chest and looked at the doctor, lips tightly sealed together. She wanted him to help. She needed help. This situation couldn't last forever. She had to get out of it. But Booth would be really upset with her if he knew she was thinking of discussing him, discussing them, with Sweets. She would have to get herself out of this mess on her own.
"I know you're fine," Sweets concluded. "I just..." He raised his hand to shut Booth up. "Let me finish! Please. I need to know if the situation changes. You're both aware of the complications brought by a sexual relationship. If anything ever happens, you will need to tell me so we can adjust together."
"This is ridiculous," Booth mumbled, face in hands.
Brennan knew having sex with Booth would have an impact on their relationship, but up until now, she had no idea just thinking about the possibility would affect everyone around her so much. She needed to stop toying with the idea. She had to let it go. By the look on Sweets face, it was a matter of national security.
"That's all I needed to say," Sweets finished. And he waited, as he always did at the end of one of their sessions. "You can go catch a murderer. I will look at the photos and get back to you."
Booth crossed his arms over the table and leaned forward, intimidating.
This is our diner. We're not leaving.
The shrink got the message, loud and clear.
Once outside, he let out a long, shaky breath, well aware he had almost wet himself.
In shock, they both stayed still, as the light jingle of the diner door bell faded out. Brennan's attention was focused on the cup handle. Booth was examining the napkin holder. She waited a minute before clumsily telling him,
"How can sex be so complicated before it even occurs?"
When Booth turned to her, she corrected her question.
"Not that it will. I mean, I know it won't. It's..."
"I know what you mean," he reassured her.
Booth was about to explode. He wished he was wired differently. He wished he could just forget about everything and give into this burning and dangerously alluring fire. He wished he could just go for it. He wished he didn't care how she felt. He wished he didn't feel anything more than lust.
"We should ignore him," he said. "Let's ignore all of them."
Let's stick our heads in the sand and pretend the storm will pass.
"Good plan," she agreed. They returned the other's smile. And stared. A quiet second of heart thumping bliss. Until her cell phone delivered a text messaging sound. She looked down.
"It's from Angela," she said, getting up. "We should..."
"Yup."
***
Brennan was working on narrowing down the number of possible murder weapons when Angela discreetly looked around to make sure no one would hear their conversation.
"I meant to ask," she started, as if she had just remembered. "How are things with you and Booth? Is he still weird?"
"I think we're good," she lied, unwilling to think about this any more. "Sweets is worried about us, though. I don't know why. We are partners. Friends. I thought about it and... It wouldn't change much of anything between him and me. I mean, apart from adding a sexual element to our friendship, things would pretty much remain the same if we got together. We're together all the time, already. We don't need it." Foregoing sex didn't really matter; she would still have him. He was not going anywhere.
"True..." Angela lingered. For now. "But what happens when he meets someone he wants to start a family with, someone who's willing to weld their life with his? You think nothing will change between you two, then?"
Brennan froze as she waited for the painful sensation in her gut to weaken. She had never thought about it much. Booth had been single for so long... Or course he was there for her now. But she knew him. She knew the kind of man he was. He was the kind of man to shape his life around the people he loved. The kind of man who wanted a happy family. A wife. He wanted more than a partner. And he would find her eventually. What would she do, then? She suddenly felt sick. A passing thought. She had spent all those years unknowingly building something with Booth, something strong. But it wasn't enough. Humans need more. Booth deserved more. She should not have invested in them. Because in the end, once Booth found "the one", as he so naively would put it, what would she do? She'd be alone. Again. For good.
Angela saw Brennan had finally heard her. For real. She slowly stepped closer and put a hand on her shoulder. Comforting. Encouraging. She whispered, in a soothing voice, hoping this was the right time. Hoping her friend would stop running in circles.
"Go for it, Brennan. For your sake." And all of ours.
The anthropologist stayed quiet for a while. Pondering. And for the first time, she really considered it. Her stomach fluttered as her mind caught tiny glimpses of what could be. Foretastes of what ifs. Delicious. Petrifying. Her last thought took over. She looked at Angela.
"I don't want to ruin our relationship," she decided. Nothing was worth losing him. Nothing.
"What relationship?" Angela allowed herself to say. "Your work one or the one with all the staring contests, the awkward silences, and the unbearable tension?"
The one we had. The bond that slipped away. I want us back.
***
"Anything new?" Booth asked, setting foot in Cam's autopsy room.
"Well, we know what she had for her last lunch," she said, holding the putrefied stomach. "But nothing helpful. Tox screen came back negative."
Booth would never get used to the horrible things he saw everyday in this lab. His stomach turned as Cam put the organ on the scale and took note of its weight.
"Thanks. Call me if you find anything," he said before heading back out.
"Not so fast," Cam said to make him stay. She walked up to him, taking off her gloves and dropping them in the trash can. "I'd like to talk to you about something."
Booth grimaced. "Can we talk somewhere else? This smell doesn't put me in a chatty mood."
"When are you ever chatty?" she laughed. "How about lunch?"
"Sure."
Cam knew him. He would be safe. There would be no mention of sex or Brennan in the same sentence.
"Let me just check with Bones about the murder weapon and I'm all yours."
He walked to her office and knocked on the doorframe.
"Hey, did you find what was used to kill him yet?" he asked straight away.
"No, but I'm getting close."
"Ok. Well... Cam wants to go out for lunch, so..."
Brennan stood up. Having lunch with Cam wouldn't have been her first choice, but she was starving.
"Ok. I'll ask Dr. Edison to finish up for me."
Surprised, Booth cringed at the misunderstanding.
"Uhm... I think she wants to talk to me. Alone."
Brennan blushed of embarrassment. She sat back down and tried to remain stoic.
"Sure. Ok. I can't really go anyway. It'll probably be faster if I do the identification myself. And I'm not hungry, so..."
Ok. I think he got it. You can shut up now.
"I'll call you if I find anything," she concluded.
"Thanks, Bones."
He looked at her, holding in a sigh, as she started to type on the keyboard as fast as humanly possible. He turned around and met Cam in the hall.
Brennan slowly stopped typing and looked through the glass walls of her office. She saw Dr. Saroyan put a hand on Booth's back as they walked away.
As soon as she realized what she was doing, she closed her eyes and turned her head back to the computer. Her reaction was irrational. She wasn't a jealous person. Plus, there was nothing between Booth and Cam. They were friends. Platonic friends. Close friends. Friends can have lunch. You two have lunch all the time. It's fine. Disgusted with herself, she started working again. The faster you find that weapon, the faster you can call him back here. She sighed. Stop it!
***
Half an hour later, they had talked about everything but. Booth seemed distracted, as he often was lately. She could sense he was tired and that something –she knew what- was really bothering, torturing him. Cam decided it was time.
"Are you sure, you're ok?" she asked, giving him the look that said he couldn't hide anything from her.
"I'm great. Why?"
Cam set aside her plate and put her elbows on the table, joining her hands under her chin.
"It's obvious you are in love with her."
"With whom?"
The faint smile on her face told him she really did know. He couldn't disguise it anymore. He sighed. Relieved.
"So what? It happens."
Cam plainly laughed. Booth had never taken love lightly. She knew he wanted her to back off. She couldn't. He meant too much to her.
"You've loved her for... a really long time. You used to feed on that feeling. It used to make you stronger. But now, you're just... miserable."
"You're worse than Sweets."
"I've known you forever. I've never seen you pine for a woman before. And it's not pretty."
"Come on, Camille... I'm not pining."
She didn't listen.
"Ever heard of the point of no return? You're there. Both of you."
Booth said nothing. He took his napkin and tore it into pieces. Cam continued.
"You want my opinion?"
Booth looked at her. Do I have a choice?
"She's never gonna tell you what you want to hear before you tell her how you feel."
Booth shook his head, exhausted. "She doesn't love me. I would know if she did."
Cam put a hand on his and locked eyes with him.
"Seeley, you're the only one that doesn't know."
***
"I don't want to push you," Angela told Brennan.
"Then don't..."
"But are you gonna go for it?"
Brennan was about to get angry with her best friend. She kept quiet and put all the work she had to bring home in her messenger bag.
"You know what you're doing?" Angela continued.
"I'm putting folders in my bag."
"You're both waiting for the other to make the first move. Just move, already!"
Startled by Angela's serious tone, Brennan couldn't help but look at her.
"Honey, I love you to death, but I don't want to talk to you until you give him a chance. Until you give yourself a chance."
Angela started to walk away. Her mind was set. She was going to keep her word.
"You're mad at me for something that's none of your business?" Brennan laughed out, panicking.
She would stop talking to her in a second. After this.
"It is my business! You're my best friend and your happiness is on the line, here."
There's this line, and we can't cross it. You know what I'm saying? Brennan snorted. How ironic.
"I don't need a man to be happy."
Right after this.
"I agree. You don't need a man. You want that man."
Brennan tried to divert Angela's attention.
"I thought you weren't talking to me," she said.
"I'm serious. I'm done. Enough is enough."
She turned around, but quickly spun back.
"One more thing," she added.
Brennan raised an eyebrow. Angela could see that, while pretending not to care, her friend was paying attention. It was a good sign. Better than she had hoped.
"You would kill, you would... You would die for Booth. But you won't allow yourself to love him? Where's your precious logic now?" Now, I'm done.
And Angela was out.
***
Brennan had tried to go to sleep at 8. Of course, it was way too early. But she thought while she was sleeping, her brain could get some rest. She stared at her alarm clock. 10h23. She tossed. She turned. Angela's words kept coming back, flooding in and drowning her. She finally gave up and sat back up, turning the bedside lamp on. She brought her thighs to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. Her left cheek on her knee, she kept looking at the lists she had written down, waiting there on the bedside table for her final approbation. She sighed and took the first one. Who lists Pros and Cons to decide the outcome of a relationship? She looked down at it. What were you thinking? The Cons column was longer, filled with excuses. This doesn't mean anything. There's nothing objective in this. She frowned when she noticed "We work together" was there twice. You can't base your decision on a stupid list. And a fist-made ball of Pros and Cons hit the wall in front of her.
This was not a decision she could make on her own, anyway. There were two people concerned, here. She told herself not to move. She told herself it was late. It could wait. But her body got up. It got dressed. She watched herself look at the reflection in the mirror. What do you think you're doing? She tried to convince herself she wasn't schizophrenic. She took the second list, the one that mattered, and shoved it in her jeans pocket. She took her purse, grabbed her keys, hit the lights. She was on her way.
Tonight was the night. She refused to let the frantic thumping in her chest stop her. She could do this.
***
You can do this, she repeated again in her head, as her knuckles met the door. Do what?! What are you doing? What are you gonna say? You don't even have a plan! Too late. Her knocks had been heard. She could hear him on the other side.
She took a deep breath as the door opened.
"Dr. Brennan? What are you doing here?"
Uh.
Why was her boss answering Booth's door?
"Hi. Cam. You..."
She looked around. Maybe this was a really vivid dream. Maybe she had fallen asleep at 8, as planned. Brennan was so taken aback, she couldn't even think. She couldn't even assume anything. She was just not expecting this. Her. There. Why? She frowned. Was this really what she didn't want to think it was? It sounded so... impossible.
"I'm sorry," Brennan said. "I didn't mean to... find you here. I didn't know."
Cam wondered why Brennan was so... weird. Then she realized what a huge misunderstanding this was.
"Oh! No! I'm watching Parker for a while. Booth is..." She couldn't tell her. It wasn't her place. "... out."
"Oh. Right. Good. I mean, that you..." She cleared her throat. "Ok. I'll... talk to him tomorrow, anyway."
***
Brennan remembered saying goodnight and she remembered getting in her car, but she had no idea how she had gotten home. Yet, there she was. Outside her apartment, still a little dazzled. She pulled the key out of the ignition and stepped out of her vehicle. Maybe this just wasn't a good time. Booth would say this may be a sign. But of course, it wasn't. Anyway, for what it was worth, she had something else to add to her list now. Something kind of concrete, even to a sceptic like her.
"Bones, there you are!"
She saw Booth grab onto the railing of her front steps to get up. He wiped his pants, shoved his hands in his pockets and smiled.
Under all the confusion, she swore she could feel the list burn a hole in her pocket.
"I was looking for you."
The fact that they both said it at the same time... That might have been a sign.
--------
TBC
Please let me know you can review even when I don't threaten you! :) Next chapter's the last, there won't be a sequel, and I would love to hit 400 reviews!! :) THANKS!
