Lyrical Melodrama Story Contest
Name of story: Right before My Eyes
Pen name: Lovedforeternity
Song story is inspired by: The Search Is Over
Artist: Survivor
Category: Bestseller
Main Pairing: Edward and Bella
POV: EPOV and BPOV
To read the rest of the entries, go to the Lyrical Melodrama Story Contest on the website/forum.
If you want to see the rules for this contest, go to the website.
If you have any questions about the contest, contact them either via PM or their email:
www (dot)thewriterscoffeeshop(dot)com
A/N- Here is chapter 2 in the 5 chapter series. I hope that you are enjoying my little story. I am having a blast writing it! I want to thank thespoiltone for hosting this contest. She has started an amazing website where ff friends gather. Check it out, because that is where you will need to vote, once the story ends!
Thanks go out to my friends and beta's Keepingupwiththekids and Clarisa. You both are so wonderful in your fast turn around time and your encouraging words. Love you both!
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns it all. I just own… well nothing compared to her!
Chapter 2- Clueless
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck! I knew I was in deep shit. I mean when Bella had told me that Pat Bowlen called and wanted a meeting, I knew that I was in trouble. I walked into my house after Bella dropped me home after the humiliating meeting. I am usually not one to be embarrassed, but this time I was extremely abashed. I was exhausted from only a few hours of sleep and I still felt slightly drunk as I tried hard to remember what had happened the night before. Apparently, I had starting making out with someone's girlfriend, but I don't remember shit! Honestly, I didn't even remember a women being near me.
I knew Bella was pissed at me, and it wasn't the first time. I hate that I let her down all the time, and I don't even know why I do the things I do. Then again, I don't even know why I even care when she's pissed, but I do. I knew that I was putting her professional reputation on the line by being the ass that I am, but it never seems to stop me. Maybe they are all right, maybe I am just broken. Something that Mr. Bowlen said had me reeling. When he said he wanted me to be the guy they drafted, I had wanted to hurl right then. What happened to me to make me change so much. I wondered if it was the money, or the fame. Bella had told me many times that my head was getting to big for my body. She said that I ate every compliment and every cheer until I was top heavy. I had laughed in her face, dismissing her words, but I wondered if it were all true. I mean I have always been confident. Shit, I know I am a great quarterback. I know I'm a good-looking guy, but I was not always such a dick.
I thought back to my high school and college days. I was one of the guys and I loved it! I was popular and smart and I proudly killed the myth about dumb athletes. I graduated high school with a 4.3 grade point average and I graduated College with a 4.0. I always took pride in that. I remember my teachers used me as an example of the ideal student athlete. They measured everyone against me and it felt great! People treated me well, they always had and though I was cocky about my on field stats, my off the field behavior was beyond reproach. I was a leader on my team and guys looked up to me. I even helped tutor some of the lineman in college so that they could remain eligible for their scholarships.
After my senior year of college, I knew that I would go early in the draft. There were agents up my butt, trying to get me to sign with them. I knew that I needed an agent, but I wanted someone that was not all about the money that I would make them, but about building a partnership. Some of those agents were nothing but money hungry assholes that didn't give two shits about me. Then I ran into Bella at a local sports bar. After I found out she was an agent, I actually got up and started to leave. I was disappointed that she was talking to me just because she wanted a piece of the action. But she asked one question that made me stop dead in my tracks.
"What do you want out of all of this Edward?"
I was floored. She sounded sincere. Not one of those Italian suits had asked me what I wanted. They just told me what they thought I wanted. They told me what they could do for me. I knew that I was going to be a meal ticket for someone, and that didn't bother me, but I wanted someone that I could trust. When I stopped I turned around to face her. It was truly when I first noticed how beautiful she was. Her long mahogany hair fell across her shoulders. I looked into her eyes and my breath hitched a little. The sincerity was overwhelming and I just knew that I would hear give her a chance to pitch to me. As Bella gave me her spiel about her credentials, and her love of the game, I was mesmerized. She seemed to be so honest and true. I almost wondered how she could be in the sports business. The sports industry was a multi-billion-dollar business and I knew that most agents played hardball. She was confident and charming and damn if she wasn't beautiful. I believed her, and when I signed with her, I knew that I had done the right thing.
She had fulfilled every promise to me and more. She was a firecracker during contract negotiations and I got more than I dreamed possible. I think she charmed everyone in the Broncos organization with her knowledge of the game and her fierce loyalty to me. My family, especially my brother Emmett gave me shit when he heard that I signed with her. He teased me endlessly about the fact that I had a woman for an agent. He thought for sure that I was just tying to sleep with her. I laughed at him, because I have never had to try to get laid. Then when he met her, he saw in Bella what I had seen. My family loved her and she has grown close with all of them and was now part of all of us. In the beginning we spent a lot of time together, and I felt the attraction towards her growing everyday. I knew that I didn't have a chance at being with her, because of our professional relationship, but as we grew to be friends, I still hoped.
I leaned back on the couch after grabbing a beer. My head was still pounding from the abuse to my body the night before, but I didn't care. I just needed to forget the day and getting trashed again would help me forget the clusterfuck that surrounded me.
I thought back to the look on Bella's face when I told her I was sorry, and for the first time, I saw how she really views me. She had a look of pity on her face. I hated that! I hated myself for putting that look in her eyes. I knew that she didn't believe in me anymore and that caused a pain so deep in my chest that I had to shut my eyes and take a few deep breaths to recover.
Now they wanted me to go to a shrink and figure out why I am an asshole. That could take years! I thought as I chuckled to myself. I knew what I needed to do. I decided that I would do exactly what they told me, keep my nose clean and try to salvage this mess. I knew that a shrink wouldn't help me, but I needed to follow the rules and get back on the field.
I wanted to get back to the game, but I am not sure if I really knew how to do it anymore. I needed sleep, I needed to forget, and I needed to get my head straight. My thoughts and frustrations finally lured me to sleep and I found peace through the darkness.
I was awakened by the sound of the doorbell being pushed over and over again. I ran my hands over my face in order to wake myself, and I reluctantly walked over and opened the door. It was late. I had no idea what time it was. Standing in the doorway was my mother and my sister. They were both glaring at me. I wanted to slam the door shut and run to my room and hide, because I knew what was coming.
"What are you doing here?' I asked knowing that both of them were supposed to be home in Washington.
"Edward, I think you know why we are here. Imagine my surprise when I opened my email this morning and found your lovely video, courtesy of YouTube. I had 48 emails with links to your drama. Every one of my friends sent that to me. This is getting embarrassing to everyone Edward. I can only tell you that I am disappointed. I raised you better than this." Esme seethed.
My eyes fell to the floor in shame. I hated it when I my mother was angry with me.
"Come in" I said allowing room for both of them to enter the house.
Alice was unusually quiet and I knew that her silence couldn't be good. I grabbed their bags and brought them into the living room.
"How long are you staying?" I asked quietly.
"We are here for a week, and hopefully we can talk about why you feel the need to destroy everything around you. Your father expects a call from you tomorrow, and I hope you have some answers by the time you speak to him. He is not happy Edward. This affects him too."
"I'll take your bags up to your rooms. I haven't had dinner, so you want me to order something?"
I asked just praying for a hole in the floor to open up and swallow me.
"We've already eaten, but I will make you something and then we can talk." Esme said as she disappeared into the kitchen.
Alice looked up at me and tried to smile, but I knew that she was upset.
"I talked to Bella… she is really worried about you Edward. She is worried that you are ruining your career, and hers."
"I know Alice!" I said defensively. I took a huge breath and looked over at her apologetically.
"Look I know that this is bad, but I am going to fix it, I promise." I said, but the more I said it out loud, the less confident I felt. My words just sounded empty.
I left her standing in the foyer as I made my way with their bags to the guest rooms. I lived in a huge house alone and when my family was in town, they all had their designated space. I went towards my room opened the door and sat down on my bed, feeling hopeless.
After dinner and the third degree, I was finally able to escape. I headed to the music room and sat at the piano. I hadn't played in years. Music used to bring me so much joy, but I had just tossed that away along with my dignity. I placed my fingers on the keys and I played a simple scale. The piano needed to be tuned, but it wasn't too bad, so I started playing. I took a deep breath and got lost in the music. I felt normal for a moment, and I kept playing as Alice came into the room holding my cell phone in her hand.
"Bella is on my phone." She said placing it on the piano.
She left the room as I lifted my hands up to reach the phone while the music was still playing in my mind.
"Hi Bella" I spoke quietly.
"You were playing… that was nice to hear. I haven't heard you play in years." Bella whispered and I could hear her smiling.
"Yeah… it has been awhile."
"Listen Edward, I know your life sucks right now, and I know that I was upset, but I want to be there for you. I am here for you. Are you doing okay?"
I laughed into the phone feeling calm for the first time all day. Bella was something else. Despite the fact that I had embarrassed her and made her angry, and had probably single handily ruined her career, she still wanted to be there for me.
"I am better now. I know you don't believe me Bella and I understand why, but I am going to fix this. I want things to be better too. I want to change, but I need you to believe me Bella. I can't do this without you. You are my best friend. You are probably my only true friend."
I finished my plea and I waited hoping that she would know how badly I needed her.
"I know Edward. You're not just my client. You're my friend and even when I want to put you through a wall, I still care about you. I want to believe you. I do believe that you want more than this. I have to believe it, but I feel like I need to be prepared too. I am responsible for your career. Does that make sense? She asked, hoping for my understanding.
I sighed deeply in the phone. I hated that I had put her in this position. I hated that she couldn't believe in me anymore. I felt tears threaten to spill, but I pushed them back.
"So, when do I meet the shrink?"
Bella laughed. "She is not a shrink Edward, she is a psychologist. She is not going to make you take meds and look at ink blots, she is just going to get you to talk and to help you remember what it is you want from life. You are so dramatic!"
I chuckled again at her words. She always made me feel better and she didn't take my shit. I loved that about her.
"So when is my appointment?"
"I will pick you up tomorrow morning at 7am. I called Mike and let him know that you would be late to practice. Mrs. Weber, the therapist you are meeting with tomorrow is coming in early for you, so we can't be late"
"Ok, I will be ready, but I can drive myself if it would be easier."
"No, I don't mind, besides, I don't want you finding an excuse to get out of it." She giggled as she said it, but I knew that she didn't trust me. Damn, I'm an asshole!
"I'm glad that your mom and Alice are there with you. You need the support."
"Yeah, it is nice to see them, but I hate needing a babysitter."
"Get some rest drama queen! You are going to need it." She replied before hanging up the phone.
I laughed again, filling the empty room with a sound that seemed foreign to me. I used to laugh all the time, but now, it almost felt strange to do it, especially alone. I closed the lid of the piano and made my way up to bed. I fell asleep thinking about the changes I needed to make in my life. I hoped that I could pull it off, but somewhere deep inside, I knew that there was a bigger chance of me screwing up again then not. I needed to do this, to make my family proud, to keep my job and I desperately wanted Bella to respect me again. The doubts surfaced again. Hell, I can't even believe in myself, how can I ask her to do it? I'm screwed!
**************************
Morning came quickly, though I felt so much better physically, I was obviously still an emotional basket case. I quickly showered and went down to the kitchen. My mom had made a huge breakfast. I gobbled down the omelet quickly and drank a few cups of coffee, hoping that it would settle my nerves, but I think it made it worse.
I heard Bella in the living room with Alice laughing. I cleared my plate, gave my mother a kiss and I followed the sound of her beautiful laugh. My mom trailed behind me and greeted Bella with a warm hug and I just sat back and watched them. My heart fluttered a little as I watched Bella with my family. I knew that my feelings for Bella were more than just a professional one, we were friends but sometimes when I looked at her I felt a longing that I couldn't explain. I pushed my ridicules thoughts aside and smiled at her.
"You ready to go?" She asked.
"Lead the way." I said as I guided her out the door with my hand on the small of her back.
The ride to the therapist's office didn't take long. Once we arrived I filled out the paper work attached to the clip board and waited for someone to call me.
A young woman most likely Bella's age walked in and greeted us with a hand shake. She had long black hair and was thin, with very kind eyes. I busted out my famous crooked grin hoping to soften her a bit before we walked back to her office. Bella waited in the reception area and I followed Mrs. Weber back to an office. The office was set up like a living room, with a comfortable couch and a warm atmosphere.
"Let's get started Mr. Cullen."
"It's Edward, you can call me Edward." I responded.
"Great and you can call me Angela; I don't like those formal names either."
"So tell me Edward, what brings you here today?" She asked politely.
I rolled my eyes at her question, knowing that she already knew why I was there.
"I think you already know that I am here as a punishment for being an idiot at a bar the other night, so why don't you just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it."
Mrs. Weber smiled at me patiently.
"Edward, it isn't going to be that simple. It is more important for me to understand where you are with all of this, because you are the one that will have to do the work. I need to know what you want out of these sessions."
I looked at her and saw the sincerity in her eyes. I was suddenly nervous that I wanted to tell her everything that was going on in my head. I was so uncomfortable, so I just turned into the asshole.
"Why don't you tell me what you want out of all of this?" I whispered seductively.
I smiled and scooted closer to her. I reached out and took her hand in mine, rubbing small circles over her skin.
Angela stood up quickly, as she pulled her hand away. She was shocked that I had turned our conversation into something sexual.
"Mr. Cullen, I don't think I can help you." She stated with a slight edge in her voice.
"What? You have to. I can't play unless you do. Come on, can't we work something out." I said tossing her a smile that told her I was willing to do anything.
"No, you are not ready. Mr. Cullen, you are used to using your charms to get what you want, but I promise you, that I am not a woman to mess with. You are very disrespectful and I am not interested in playing games, I was asked to help you, and I can see that you don't want to be helped." Her voice had grown louder.
"I think you should leave Mr. Cullen. You won't be charged for your visit." She stated turning her chair to face her desk.
I am such an asshole. I was in the office for less than a minute before I was hitting on her. Fuck! Bella is going to kill me.
"Mrs. Webber… I'm sor…"
"We are done here!" She seethed loudly essentially cutting off my apology. I got up off the couch and slowly walked towards the door.
"I don't know why I did that. I really don't. I'm an idiot and I'm sorry!" I whispered.
I looked back at her and I could tell that she was still angry, as she should be, she was obviously a married woman, and I am supposed to be here to get help and I screwed it up by coming on to her. I turned towards the door and placed my hand on the knob, trying to think of how I would face Bella in mere seconds. I hesitated and turned around again.
"Please Angela, I need your help. I am so sorry that I acted like a douche, I swear this is not who I want to be. I am here because I need to find myself again. I'm not happy, no matter what I try. I drink, I swear, I use women to feel something. I am going to lose everything if I don't change. Please help me." I pleaded.
It felt like hours as I waited and hoped that something would save me. Angela finally turned around and smiled.
"Now was that so hard? Thank you for answering my question. If you want to continue, I will try my best to help you."
Relief filled my body as I walked back to the couch. I ran my fingers through my hair and I gave her a genuine smile.
"Thank you, and I'm sorry!" I said as I sat down.
I proceeded to tell Angela about my life for the last few years. I told her everything that led up to the intervention at work and that I really did want to figure out what why I had changed.
She listened intently and asked questions for clarification as I spewed out everything. She asked me how I felt about the reactions of my loved ones and I told her that I felt guilty and sad that I was letting everyone down, especially Bella.
After mentioning Bella again, she looked up at me with curiosity.
"What do you want Edward."
I looked at her surprised that she would ask me that after my verbal diarrhea, but she didn't seem to understand.
"I just told you what I wanted, I want my life back. You know… the good life, where I can be proud of myself."
Angela nodded and smiled.
"Yes, you told me that, but I want to know, what you really want. What is missing in your life? What do you want your future to look like on a personal level?
I thought for a minute and I shrugged.
"I guess I want what everyone wants, I want to be in love, have a family. I want to be happy."
"Okay, that is a start. So what is preventing you from having those things?" She asked.
"I guess my idiot behavior and the fact that I never meet any good woman. The only women that seem to come on to me are skanks who want to sleep me because I am a famous football player."
"Well, I think that I have your homework assignment. I want you to go home and write a description of the kind of woman you want to marry. Describe her in detail and bring it with you to your session in the morning."
That sounded easy enough. I said my goodbyes and went out to the waiting room to find Bella talking on her cell phone.
"I don't think I can make it, I am swamped with work, but ask me again sometime." She said as she started blushing.
God she's beautiful!
I knew that Bella was most likely talking with one of her admirers. It made my chest tighten to think of her on a date, but I knew she went out. Bella didn't usually talk about her private life to me anymore. She used to be more open about those things when we were closer, but ever since she broke up with that bastard Jacob, she hadn't told me anything. I knew that it most likely had to do with the fact that I hated that guy and that I was never around anymore.
Bella hung up the phone and smiled.
"Are you all set? Did you set up another appointment?"
I handed her the appointment card that Angela had given me and she slipped it into her purse after glancing at it.
We went out to the car in silence. My mind was still racing as I thought about my session.
Once we were on our way, Bella finally spoke.
"So, how was it? Did it go okay?"
"Yeah, but I have homework." I chuckled. "I thought I was done with homework forever!"
Bella smiled, seemingly happy that things went well.
"I am glad that it was good for you. I hope that she will be able to help. She seems nice."
There was no way that I was going to mention what a creep I was to her when I first arrived so I quickly changed the subject.
"So what is the plan for tonight? I know that Alice has conned you into hanging out."
"Yeah, we are just going out to dinner. Are you going to come along? She asked.
"Yeah, I'll go, but I can't stay out late. I have an early appointment, and I'd like to take care of my homework."
Bella smirked.
"Wow… that was a responsible statement." She teased.
"I can be responsible. I know you can't see it yet Swan, but I'll show you. I am going to take this shit seriously. I'm not messing around. I know I'm a mess, but I won't be for long. You'll see." I finished confidently.
"I'm impressed already." She smiled.
My chest puffed out a bit at her words. I would love for her to really mean that. I hoped that someday she really would.
After practice, I went home and cleaned up. I spoke to my father before we left for dinner and he was patient with me as I explained my session with Angela. He said that he believed in me and I think he actually meant it.
Dinner was great. It felt like old times, just laughing and bantering back and forth. My mom seemed less angry and Alice and Bella were being silly. I was feeling pretty good when I went home and locked myself in my room to start my description.
I took out my journal where I normally write music. It hadn't been touched in awhile, and I stared down at the blank page and started my list.
Confident
Beautiful
Smart
Funny
Loyal
Sexy
Compassionate
Passionate
Damn… this list looks like it could be written by Dr. Phil. I decided that I needed to be more descriptive. I needed to think about specifics. If I were to meet the perfect women, what would she look like, what would she be like? I wrote the first things that came to my mind.
Long brunette hair
Expressive Brown eyes
Someone who is modest
Someone who blushes
I want someone who can carry on a conversation
Someone who likes to laugh
Someone that sees me for me
Someone with soft skin, and a sexy body
Someone who gets along with my family
Someone who is well liked by everyone
Someone strong in personality
Someone who is passionate about what she believes in
Someone who tells the truth
Someone independent.
Someone who stands up for those she loves
Someone who doesn't put up with my shit.
Someone who loves me for who I am and not what I do.
I finished the list and reread it several times. I laid down on my bed and reread the list again. I was proud that I had finished it. I put my journal on my nightstand. I tried to turn my mind off to find sleep, but I kept going over the list in my head. I thought of Bella. She was all of those things… she was the woman that I compared every other woman too. Wait… I described Bella. Every piece of that list was her to a T.
Bella… She is my perfect woman!
Now, I'm really screwed!
A/N- Please review and tell me what you think. Edward is lost and even more confused, do you think he's serious? If you are interested in reading more of the stories in the contest, you can go to www(dot)thewriterscoffeeshop(dot)com . Sadly, I post this the day after Denver lost it the Ravens. I still love them despite the fact that they sucked it hard yesterday!