Chapter Four: And In the End, The Love You Make…
Afghanistan, 2009
I: Tony
Begin at the beginning, and end at the end.
It wasn't easy to do alone and it wasn't easy to be alone.
Not anymore.
"Well, this is where it all started. Well, not exactly. But then, again, I'm not sure. Afghanistan. Vietnam. It's all the same war, isn't it? Or maybe not. I honestly don't know. I'm sure I had a reason to bring you here, Big Guy. And here we are, alone together. And I'm talking to myself. If I had much of a mind left, I'd say I was out of my mind."
Tony looked at his Post-It Notes, plastered all over all the equipment.
He continued to speak to the suit.
"Maybe it's for the best. This is the price I pay. For all those years of hubris. I was the Great Tony Stark, Illuminatus. For the War. For Steve. Hell, even for the Hulk. You see, once my head's empty, the badguys, they won't be able to get any information about my fellow masks. They'll be safe, and me, I'll be, well, I'll be dead. Or something like it."
He wandered over to the corner, where he had a cot set up, and lay down on it.
"Nothing to do. Nothing to see."
Post-It Notes on the cave walls.
How to use a screwdriver.
How to work a computer.
What to do when you're bored.
"I know that one. I don't even have to look. I'll bet it says jerk off. That I can still do. Yeah. That's what it says. "Jerk off." Maybe that's what will become of me. I'll be some drooling vegetable in the rubber rooms at the MORC, sitting on the floor of a padded cell and mindlessly jerking off, all day long. And laughing like an idiot. Oh well. At least I'll be enjoying myself."
It would have been nice, Tony was thinking, to have a woman.
He still had enough presence of mind to fuck, and while he had his hand down his shorts, he was thinking about lots and lots of satisfied customers.
He couldn't remember why, here at the end, none of his lovers were with him.
He remembered Pepper, but she wasn't one of them, and he knew why she wasn't with him. But all his other women?
Where had they all gone?
Had he been that much of a prick and a jerk and an asshole?
Probably.
Somewhere in the heat of the day, Tony fell asleep, and while he was asleep, he had a dream about a woman.
One he had been thinking about, quite a bit.
She was a red-haired woman, but she wasn't Pepper.
Her hair was much longer, down past her ass, and a shade darker than Pepper's.
She had the sunniest smile, and the craziest laugh, and he dreamt of her as he slept, dreams about things that had to have taken place over many, many years.
He woke up with her name on his lips.
"Napalm. Trivelino J. Napier. The J. doesn't stand for anything. Napalm. I still remember. I still remember you, Napalm."
***
He got up and ate something, and did a little more work, but then he began to get confused, so he went back to sleep, again.
There was nothing more to do, anyway.
Not for me to reason why.
Tomorrow I will do, and die.
A sound woke him up, and Tony was, in his addled state, slow to awaken, slow to react.
He couldn't do anything but sit up and peer into the dark.
"Who's there?" he asked.
"No. I'm still dreaming. No, I'm not dreaming. Napalm! It's you! You're really here!"
"You remember me, Tony?"
"Nobody else came. A whole lifetime of women I don't remember. But I remember you. And here you are."
He laid back, and opened his arms to her.
She took off her sweaty clothes and her dusty boots and lay down beside him on the cot.
Tony was happy.
He cuddled Liv in his arms, breathed in the familiar smell of her hair, held her tight against his chest.
He didn't understand much, anymore; he was confused and frightened, but this was something that still made sense to him.
She's my friend.
Tony remembered something, an allusion to a book.
What book, he didn't recall.
"It's good to have you here with me, Trivelino J. Napier, here at the end of all things."
"Jesus, Tony, you're going to make me cry."
She was crying, he could feel her tears running down his chest.
"Don't cry, Napalm. I have to do this."
"No you don't! Let me kill him, Tony. I've killed everything on this earth that walks and crawls and flies, human and animal and robot and otherwise. Save what's left of your mind. Let me take care of him. Osbourne. I'll cut him out of that fucking suit, and rip him to pieces with my bare hands."
"That won't help, Napalm. What he wants is in my mind. And even if he's dead, the rest of his cabal will still want it. My mind has to go. That's it."
"Jesus, Tony!"
"You think I want to die? But I made my bed. Now I'm going to have to lie in it. Don't cry, Liv. This is all the time you and I have left together. Just tonight. You can cry after I'm dead."
He stroked her red head, trying to soothe her.
"You know what else I remember? I remember the first time we made love. In your car. After we broke out of jail, in Mexico. And I remember how I helped you and your sons get out of New York, before Ozymandias could kill you all. I remember the last time I saw you. We were in my car, driving through New York after New York was rebuilt. I was speeding. And you had your head in my lap. And I had the radio blasting. It was like being the teenage king of the world. Vixen. Red-haired porno queen of superhero ultravixens."
"Yeah. I remember all that, too. And I forgive you, Tony. And I'm not just telling you that because you're dying. I forgive you."
"Now I'm crying. Jesus, Napalm, how did we end up here?"
"I don't know. I don't want to talk anymore."
"I don't, either. Well, what do you say, Liv? One more for the road?"
"Yeah, Tony. One more for the road."