Chapter 15 – A Hundred and 20 Questions

Previously…

"True. But it's rather hard to come up with an explanation for why somebody can stop a car with their bare hands, even if you have the most active of imaginations."

As soon as the words left my mouth, I saw her eyes harden and her grip tighten on the steering wheel.

"I'd rather you not mention that to anybody today, please." Her voice had a hard edge to it. I was surprised, but hid it.

"I wasn't planning to."

She seemed to relax a little at hearing that. "Thank you," she murmured.

Bella's POV

"Certainly," Edward nodded. He didn't say any more as we pulled out of the driveway. A half minute later, I broke the silence.

"Any more theories?"

Edward was silent. He looked… guilty? "One. It's… it's ridiculous."

Ridiculous? Damn. He probably was spot on, then. It would be best to go about this delicately. "Would you care to share?"

Edward just shook his head. Another thick silence descended upon us. Say something, Bella… say something quickly, before he could get more questions in. "So… Queen?"

Edward's face immediately coloured, making my throat burn with the scent.

"My dad really liked Queen. He was into all those 80's big hair bands and stuff," he explained.

"Big hair bands," I laughed. "What a fantastic way to describe them." I should know. I had lived through that era… and had some incredibly big hair myself. "What else did he introduce you too?"

"Everything. My dad was the reason that I'm so into music… he taught me to play the piano."

Memories of my human life started to surface, but before they could fully form I shoved them back down. For the first time in my life as a vampire, I fought to shove the memories of my human life back into my subconscious. And the funny thing was, I didn't really even care if I would be able to bring them back when I was alone. All I wanted was to stay in the moment with Edward.

"My father taught me to play the guitar…" I muttered. And then I realized exactly how morbid I sounded. Change the subject…

"So you live with your mom and dad, then?" I asked.

"No, I only live with my mom," he answered slowly. I could sense a little bit of resistance, but for some reason it only made me want to know more.

"Are your parents separated?" True, it was a little rude. And true, I was totally prying… but still.

Edward slowly shook his head. "No, actually. My dad died when I was ten years old."

I was shocked. "Oh, wow. I'm so sorry, I had no idea." It's rather hard to shock a vampire, and Edward had managed to do it quite a bit in the short time that I had known him.

"Yeah, actually, in the end it was why we came to Forks," Edward continued conversationally. "My mom, she couldn't stand staying in the house anymore, with the reminder of him always there. And she grew up in Forks, so she figured why not come back here?"

"Oh," I nodded sagely. "Was it hard for you to leave New York?"

"Not really. My mom had this idea that I had tons of friends there, but I really didn't. I guess it was hard for me to leave the city, because I grew up there. I miss the diversity."

I smiled. "Yeah… Forks is pretty bad diversity-wise. Not half as bad as San Francisco in the fifties, thought."

As soon as the words left my lips, my mind froze. No…. no, no, no. I was getting too comfortable with him, letting things slip…

"San Francisco?" Edward asked cautiously. That wasn't his real question, though. I could feel the underlying question, hear it in my head: The fifties?

"One of the many places I've lived," I replied. Careful, smooth, innocent. Lie better, Bella. "I was born there." That wasn't a lie. But… Oh, shit. That made it seem like I lived in San Francisco in the fifties. Which was true, of course. But not something that Edward needed to know.

What was he thinking? It was so hard to guess his thoughts. He was looking at me. At my hands… My extremely white hands.

Oh. So that was it.

"It was a long time ago." A really, really long time ago. "I lost my tan… evidently."

Edward laughed. And I wasn't even lying anymore, a nice bonus. An even nicer bonus: he apparently hadn't noticed my fifties slip.

"So… the fifties?" Edward's voice was cautious, but not shaky.

Shit. Dodging bullets was not my forte. Lies shot through my mind immediately, as expected, supplying me with any number of escape routes. But I was sick of the lies. I didn't want to expend the energy to create a story. And most of all… the scariest thought yet; I wanted Edward to know the truth. I decided to give him the choice.

"Do you want the truth or a lie?" I asked. He looked surprised, as if he'd been expecting the usual cover-up. His silence was expected as he considered my offer.

Please ask for the truth, I found myself thinking. Surprise shot through me, like a blast of adrenaline from underneath one's breastbone. What was happening to me?

You're in love.

This time I couldn't tell if it was the evil voice or the good voice.

Edward hadn't replied yet. It had been… it had been two seconds. It felt like my brain was strung out on drugs, operating far too fast for the outside world. How much time had passed now? Damn. Two and a half seconds. Hurry up, Edward. My mind was cataloging every single sound he made. Sharp tapping from his hand on the dashboard. Slightly irregular breathing – it had sped up in the three seconds since I had posed the question, as had his heartbeat, a dull thudding from behind his ribs.

A sharp intake of breath warned me that he was going to answer my question. My hands tightened on the wheel and every muscle in my body tensed, preparing for rejection.

"The truth, I suppose," Edward half-whispered.

My heart leapt with a happiness that I hadn't felt in years, at least fifty. Without thinking, I veered off the road going to the school. An elated smile broke across my face, probably terrifying Edward. Why was I so happy to divulge my secrets? It was so odd… All my life as a vampire I had tried to hid my secret, telling lies or moving away when people became suspicious. But now… not only was I trying to keep the truth from him, I was fueling the fire.

"Umm… Bella?" Edward's voice broke into my consciousness. He sounded nervous. "We aren't… We aren't going to school, are we?" It was more of a guess than a question.

I stopped smiling and looked at him. Hopefully I hadn't misjudged his tolerance. "You… you don't mind, do you?"

Edward laughed. He sounded… happy. "No… I definitely do not mind."

I smiled to myself.

And then I realized – this meant that I had to explain to Edward… everything. My mind reeled with the thought. Could I handle this? I took a deep breath to steady myself. Mmmmm… not a good idea. Edward's scent seared my throat like a branding iron. Instead of shaking my resolve, though, it strengthened me. If I was able to be in the same car as Edward, who tested my strength every second I was with him, I should certainly be able to tell him my story.

And now it looked as if I would have to.

Notes: *hides under a rock* Please please please please don't kill me. Please. Merry Christmas to you all, here is my present to you.