Chapter 3: The Plan
Apparently, someone who worked with the local news channel had seen Cartman going crazy and had reported him to the local news station.
The news crew was in the studio, getting ready to go on the air.
"Ok," said the cameraman. "We are live in 3…2…1…action!"
"Good day" said the News Reporter. "Our top story today, a nine year old hooligan with a Santa beard has gone crazy today, trashing up the street and Christmas decorations. We now go live to the hooligan himself, young Eric Cartman. Eric, what do you have to say about this?"
Cartman spoke into the microphone. "It was that Jew Boy, I tells ya! He must have snuck into mah room and stuck this goddamn Santa beard on with superglue!"
"I don't think you should say that about Santa!" suggested the News Reporter.
"GODDAMN SANTA! GODDAMN SANTA!" cried Cartman.
"Ok," said the News Reporter. "Maybe we should just go straight to our second most top story. We don't want this to get out of hand."
After the news had gone off the air, the News Reporter asked to have Cartman in the studio later that day, as he had something "important" to discuss with him.
Later that day, Cartman reluctantly walked into the news studio.
"Hi!" greeted the News reporter. "I've been waiting for you. Here, take a seat."
The fat boy sat down.
"Now, are we alone?"
Cartman looked around. "Yes," he replied "And you're not going to do anything weird to me, are you?"
"No," said the News Reporter. "I want to tell you something that I'm supposed to tell everyone about on the news later tonight, but I thought it wouldn't be a good idea because kids might be watching."
"Kids? At that time of night?" wondered Cartman.
"Yeah, well, you know, they might be staying up to watch Terrance and Phillip," explained the News Reporter. "Now, to the point, Santa Claus has gone missing."
"WHAT??!!" exclaimed Cartman, banging his fist on the table in surprise.
"Yes, that's right," explained the News Reporter. "The REAL Santa Claus has gone missing. He was last seen flying over Mumbai testing his new sleigh. I don't think we'll see him again for a long time. Anyway, if I let the kids know on live television about him going missing, they'd be really upset and think that Christmas is ruined. Now, they NEED to get presents this year, so I've come up with a plan."
"What's the plan then?" asked Cartman.
"I want you," requested the News Reporter, "To buy loads of toys and deliver them all on the 24th."
"Whoa, NO WAY DUDE," protested Cartman. "I don't wanna work my butt off on Christmas Eve!"
"But you have to!" said the News Reporter. "It'll make up for all the damage you did today, because all the money you use to buy the presents will help repair the Christmas decorations in South Park! Besides, we can't have a Christmas without presents, can we?"
Cartman thought for a minute. "Hmm…you've got a point there buddy," agreed Cartman. "A Christmas without presents would suck. FINE, I'LL DO IT!!"
"Good!" said the News Reporter.
"Are you gonna make it easy for me?" asked Cartman.
"I'm afraid not," said the News Reporter. "You'll have to deliver all the presents to everyone in South Park, AND DENVER."
"DENVER TOO?! AH, CRAP!" cried Cartman.
At least Cartman will be doing a good thing to make up for the bad thing he did! Chapter 4 coming soon!