Chapter 6: Christmas Eve
Christmas Eve, 10.00pm. Cartman and Butters snuck out of their bedrooms and met each other down the street. Butters had the 'sleigh' ready with all the presents on the back.
"We haven't had time to try and make this thing fly, so we'll have to be quick," said Butters. "We'll have to get all these presents delivered as soon as possible because this piece of junk sleigh won't hold them all forever. You'll have to drag the sleigh with the rope at the front, and I'll walk behind to make sure the presents don't fall off."
"Got it," said Cartman. "Let's go."
The two set off down the dark street with the sleigh. Cartman thought it was really heavy to pull, what made it heavier was the stuff they'd need to get into the houses.
Cartman and Butters stopped at Stan's house first. Butters got the ladder off the sleigh and told Cartman to use it to climb onto the roof of the house. Cartman climbed up with the bag of Stan's presents, reached the top and jumped into the chimney. But he got stuck half way through.
"Hey!" called Cartman in a low whisper. "Little help here?"
Butters climbed up the ladder and onto the roof. He tried pushing Cartman down the chimney but it didn't work.
"If you did more exercise maybe you'd fit through!" suggested Butters.
"Shut up!" answered Cartman.
Butters started jumping up and down on Cartman instead. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" yelled Cartman in the quietest whisper he could do.
"I think this is working!" replied Butters. Suddenly Cartman fell through the chimney at last and landed at the bottom with a thud.
Butters looked down the chimney.
"I'm okay, Butters!" quietly confirmed Cartman, giving the thumbs up sign.
Cartman crept into Stan's living room and placed his presents under the tree.
"One down, only 181 more kids to go," thought Cartman.
Cartman took some Wolverine-grappling claws out of his pocket, put them on his hands and used them to climb back up the chimney. They made a lot of noise damaging the inside of the chimney but fortunately he didn't wake anyone in the house up.
Cartman and Butters went to Kenny's house next, but his house didn't have a chimney so Cartman had to fight his way through vicious rats and cockroach infestations in order to deliver the presents.
Next up was Kyle's house. Wait a minute, KYLE'S house? Then Cartman remembered something.
"Jews don't celebrate Christmas," said Cartman. "So come on Butters, let's just go."
"Wait, stop!" said Butters, stopping Cartman. "We can't just leave him on his own with nothing but a talking piece of poo for Christmas. We've got to give him something!"
"Sorry, Butters. My decision is final," declared Cartman. "Let's go. I might have a present with his name on it in the sleigh, but I won't be delivering it."
Next they did Bebe's house. Then Wendy's. Token's after that. After they'd delivered all the presents to everyone in South Park, they still wondered if they should give any to Kyle or not.
"Come on, Cartman. It's getting lighter and it will be morning soon," worried Butters. "We've got to give Kyle something because everyone else has presents."
"For the last time, Jews DON'T CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS," declared Cartman. "He'll have to learn to live with it. Still, look on the bright side. We did it! We delivered all the presents to all the kids in South Park! Now all that's left to do is mail the remaining leftover presents to Denver. They might not get theirs till tomorrow afternoon but who cares."
Butters had an idea. While Cartman was over at the mailbox, Butters took Kyle's present from the sleigh and ran to Kyle's house. This was the only present Cartman wasn't going to deliver this year, so Butters would have to deliver it himself.
Butters climbed up the drainpipe and onto the roof, and dropped Kyle's present down the chimney. Mission accomplished.
Butters quickly ran back to the sleigh just as Cartman walked back from the mailbox. That was close.
"Cartman, I was thinking…did we deliver the RIGHT presents?" wondered Butters. "Did you read the labels?"
"Good question," replied Cartman. "We'll find out if our work paid off tomorrow morning. I bet everyone's gonna be so pleased!"
But ARE THEY?