Chapter 7: Conclusion

Morning, 8.00am. Cartman was woken by someone knocking on his front door. He ran downstairs immediately.

"Yes!" he thought as he put his hand on the door handle ready to open it. "They've all come to thank me for doing such a great job! This is gonna be good!"

But when he opened the door, he didn't get the greeting he was expecting. All the kids in South Park were stood on his front yard with angry faces. Butters was there too.

Cartman looked at them all and said "Let me guess…I've f(bleep)ed it up, haven't I?"

"You're DAMN RIGHT you f(bleep)ed it up, fatass!" yelled Stan from the crowd. "We all have the wrong presents! I got a Hannah Montana pencil case!"

All the kids showed Cartman their wrong presents. Most of the boys had girly stuff. Some of the kids had presents that were meant for the adults! The only kid who seemed pleased with his present was Kenny, who got an X-rated porn DVD. "Thanks, Cartman!" he called from the crowd.

"I got Barbie Horse Adventures!" yelled Kyle. "You've really done it now!"

"What the hell…BUTTERS!!!!" shouted Cartman. "I told you NOT to give Kyle his present! Jews don't celebrate Christmas!"

"Well if YOU had written labels on all the presents at least I'd have given him the RIGHT one!" answered Butters. "I've had enough of you! You suck!"

Butters grabbed two toy swords off Rebecca and Lola and threw one to Cartman. "If this is how Christmas Day must be, then so be it!" announced Butters. "En garde, fatso!"

The kids circled Cartman and Butters to watch them fight. Cartman tried to lunge at Butters but Butters dodged out of the way. "Looks like you need more exercise!" taunted Butters. Butters swung at Cartman but Cartman counter attacked and had Butters on the floor. Butters took this as an opportunity to kick Cartman in an "awkward place". Cartman staggered backwards in pain, cussing under his breath and Butters got back up and knocked him to the ground with one strike.

"Are you going to apologise to everyone for giving them the wrong presents?" asked Butters, with his sword pointed at Cartman's neck.

"Wait a minute," butted in Stan, pointing at the horizon. "Who are THEY?"

Hundreds of kids were making their way towards South Park. They sure didn't look happy! Butters put his sword down to look.

"Oh no…" said Cartman as he got back up. "It's the Denver kids!"

The Denver kids marched over to Cartman.

"WHERE'S OUR PRESENTS?!" demanded one of them.

"Calm down, ladies!" reassured Cartman. "You'll get them in a few days. I had to mail them to you since it was getting late…and it was pretty dark…I'm not sure if I could even see where I was going…"

"WHAT'S ALL THIS?" asked one of the Denver kids who was pointing to a huge pile of presents in a garbage bin.

Cartman looked stunned. His jaw dropped in disbelief as everyone glared at him.

"OH SH*TCAKES" he said.

Bebe looked at Cartman and Butters' toy swords lying on the floor. She went over and picked them up.

"Hey…these are actually pretty cool," she said. "So what if I didn't get the present I actually wanted?"

"Wendy, catch!" she said as she threw one to Wendy.

"How about we teach Fatboy a lesson?" announced Wendy. "Let's grab the presents out of that garbage bin and throw them at him!"

All the kids suddenly had evil smirks on their faces as they looked at Cartman. Cartman knew he was done for now. He decided to run away as the kids went over to the garbage bin.

Stan suddenly noticed that Cartman was getting away.

"Hurry, he's getting away! After him!" he exclaimed.

Everyone stormed off after Cartman, throwing things at him, leaving Kenny just standing there.

"Aw, C'MOOOON!" said Kenny. "At least he didn't give ME the wrong present!" He looked very pleased.

THE END

Looks like Cartman wasn't cut out for delivery work in the first place! And so the real Santa was eventually found and he punished Cartman by not giving him any presents the following year, whilst all the other kids got double presents for compensation.

Merry Christmas everybody!