A Very Cullen Christmas

by paranoia'SPLASH

Tis the season to be jolly. Santa would do well to remember that when Emmett visits his house, along with the rest of the Cullens. "Santa? Oh, the graying guy with a potbelly?"

3. Chapter 3

"It's Christmas!" Emmett bellowed, skipping from room to room in the Cullen household. "Christmas, Christmas, Christmas!"

Realizing nobody was paying attention to him, Emmett decided to try a different tactic. "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake! His name is Edward Cullen so be ready to be raped!"

"EMMETT!" Edward shouted. Emmett grinned widely and skipped downstairs, winking at Bella's beetroot face. As Emmett skipped to the living room he heard Edward assure Bella she wasn't going to be sexually harassed.

"Esme is da mom, Rosalie is da bomb," Emmett sang, leering at Rose, who smiled. "Alice see da future but sometimes she get it wrong!"

"HEY!"

"Jasper make you feel, Emmett made of steel," Emmett continued, flexing his arms. "Carlisle is da daddy 'cause he got da iron will!"

Carlisle poked his head out of the kitchen.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Emmett."

A/N: Technically, where I am it's still Christmas Eve for another 4 hours, but by the time most of you read this it'll be Christmas. So Merry Christmas to y'all, and Happy New Year.