Title: The Wise Stay Single
Chapter: Drag Me Down the Aisle
Pairings: Soul/Maka, Kid/Noah etc.
Warnings: For all those who love the frilly sweet and wonderful white weddings....good luck with that.
Note: ...We took a while we know. With SE for the TS too. We know and we're sorry. Sort of. But I'm in exams and so is Pip...so when summer finally rolls around we'll probably have more time then. We know it's short but there's one more chap to go and we didn't want to drag it out.

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"I am a genius." Liz gave her meister a look that clearly stated 'stop hanging around with Black Star so much' before continuing with the minor preparations. These people weren't going to seat themselves…

"I mean," Kid went on oblivious to the world not caring, "who else could orchestrate such symmetrical perfection?"

Liz sighed; she wasn't getting paid enough for this crap.

"Only me!" By this point the elder pistol had wandered off to talk to someone with perhaps even half a scrap of sanity left – her options were rather limited.

"Please, hold your applause for the complete symmetry of the cake!"

"…mommy that boy's talking to himself."

"Just avoid eye contact and maybe he'll go away…"

Kid gave himself a quick pat on the back; he really out did himself this time…

And no one, not even his armada of stalkers, was going to ruin it for him.

Maka…yes, he meant Maka.

X-x-X

Spirit was on the phone with his wife. His ex-wife. And really every moment he spent talking to the shrieking banshee on the phone was another decibal his hearing couldn't take in anymore.

"YOU LET HER DO WHAT?! How could you be so irresponsible, you pathetic excuse for a father. I trusted you to keep her safe and happy and you let her throw her entire life away at twenty-three. Is she knocked up? I'm not old enough to be a grandmother! You insufferable man, she's lived with this boy for almost ten years. Do you know how long this could have been going on? I mean really-!"

With a resigned sigh he dumped the receiver in a wastebasket and walked away.

Some deal with such matters by burning old photos or using other elaborate means.

The Deathscythe found that ignoring her was much more effective.

X-x-X

"Ack! Who's taken my eyeliner?!"

"Patti that's my underwear you're brandishing!"

"Has anyone seen my hair tie?!"

"WEE~ Giraffes!"

"Hey! Who moved my damn hair tie you guys!"

"Nya~"

"Oi Liz! You've been hogging the bathroom for an hour now! Some of us need to get ready!"

"Seriously. Eyeliner? Where is it?!"

"Patti! Stop hanging my bra's off the ceiling fan!"

"Blair! Put something on!"

Ox and Harvar stared at the door in wonder.

"Dude, don't go in there..." a disembodied voice croaked, both boys looked upwards.

"Black...Black Star?! Why are you stuck to the ceiling?!"

"..." a shudder was their only responce.

X-x-X

Shinigami looked from his right to left in amusement, clearly unperturbed by the tense awkwardness of the meeting.

His son blinked up at him smiling so broadly he was sure that it was actually too big for his face. On the other side of the alter BlackStar and Wes shoved each other every chance they got. Clearly letting his friends decide who the best man would be was not a smart choice on Soul's part.

"So," Shinigami gleaned cheerfully, "My little boy's all grown up and a Matron of Honor!" He laughed, clapping the blue-suit clad man on the back making him pitch forward and knock his head against the marble floor of the church.

A tumbleweed passed across the aisle and Random Guest #2 coughed quietly in the background.

"...So...." Wes whistled awkwardly.

"So where's the bride and groom?"

X-x-X

"DRIVE. DRIVE. DRIVE!" Soul shrieked, clinging onto his fiancee for all he was worth.

Maka floored it, a rather terrifying grin on her features.

"BORN TO BE WI~LD!" She sang, flinging the bouquet behind them.

The ceremony could eat her dust.

X-x-X

"WHERE ARE THEY!?" Kid shrieked.

BlackStar laughed a little to himself, knowing exactly where they were and enjoying every minute of the death-god-to-be's pain.

Wes was mockingly playing his violin in the background.

Shinigami was just smiling absently.

"SOMEONE HAS TO GET MARRIED!"

Noah stood up so suddenly that he tipped the bench with four other people sitting on it over and rushed to steal the bouquet from Chrona before rushing up the aisle to kid, batting his eyelashes and smiling giddily.

Kid looked a little green.

A/N: -hums funeral march-