I crack a small, barely visible, smile. Kairi was now in the Akatsuki! All my life I had never had any family close to me, when the Uchiha clan was killed I just had no family. Kairi was the only person close to me, I was so devastated when I thought she was dead, but here she is now, standing next to me, about to join the Akatsuki. We always had so much fun when we were kids. We were like friends. She was always so fun and happy --except when she had a temper-- and would often make me forget about all my worries when I was with her.
Not to mention, if she is able to join than Deidara will become my partner!! I look over to him, my heart's only love, and start to cry, again. I hate this cruel, cruel pain known as love!
'Joy-chan, when do I get the awesome uniform?' My eager cousin asks me. 'Wait- why are you crying?' Her cheerful expression turned into a confused and worried one. I turn my head away and try to hide my face from Deidara, as now the entire group was looking at me.
'Smile, Joy-chan! Smile!' Tobi exclaims to me. I turn my head away even more, I wouldn't be able to stand it if Deidara saw me like this- puffy, swollen eyes, red cheeks, hair a mess. I wonder what he is thinking right now. I bet it's something about how stupid and annoying and depressing I am.
~Meanwhile, in Deidara's mind: She looks so cute and defenceless when she cries. She is so pretty, and some may think she may be depressing and annoying, I think the exact opposite! Some people just have a few emotional troubles. I wonder if I should cheer her up by giving her a hug --or French kiss--. ~
I wipe the tears from my eyes, and turn around, avoiding Deidara's eyes. 'Shall we go on then?' I ask in a timid voice. Whoa! I stumble a few steps and nearly fall down, I just realise Tobi had ran over to me and hugged me, patting me on the back. 'It's ok Joy-chan. Tobi is here for you. You can SMILE now!' He says to me with a big grin on his face, saying it in more of a 'Don't worry, be happy' kind of way, rather than an 'I'm here for you' kind of way.
'TOBI!!! Let go of her, un! Can't you see she's suffocating, you're holding her too tight you idiot!'
'Tobi is a good boy; Tobi just wants to help…'
Deidara rolls his eyes, and Tobi reluctantly releases his unyielding grip on me. I catch my breath and we start the journey back home.
'Don't tell me you're still like this, cousin' I turn over to Kairi, and nod apologetically, turning away and looking down at the ground at the same time.
Kairi straightens up and says more confidently 'Well, now that I'm here we can start having fun like we used to!' I smile a weak smile for her, as a reply. I can tell this was enough as everyone had recovered from the awkward moment before, seeing as everyone was back into their normal selves. Tobi was chatting animatedly to Kairi about me, being careful not to say anything that might annoy her, so he won't have to get hurt even more. He was asking questions about what I used to be like, to find out more about me. It seemed Deidara had joined in the conversation, cause even though he wasn't saying anything; it looked like he was listening intently while trying not to be noticed, like he also wanted to find out a lot about me.
'Was Joy-chan always like this? Has she ever laughed? Tobi wants to see her smile. What was she like as a little kid? Was she really cute and adorable?'
Tobi couldn't stop firing questions at Kairi, I think she saw this as a chance to embarrass me cause she started telling them about stories of me as a young girl.
'Haha, believe it or not, I actually have seen Joy-chan laugh and smile! It was long ago, she was only about 5. I was only 1. I have an excellent memory, if you're wondering. She used to be quite happy and fun, but something changed. I don't know what it was, but it must have been something big to bring down a girl like that. You should've seen her when she was a young ninja! She was still the same as she is now, but she was at least a little less shy. She had a timid voice but she wasn't afraid of talking. She was constantly training and working so hard. While all the other girls were sitting in their groups and talking about all the boys they thought were cute, and how much they hate their families, and all the other stuff girls talk about, Joy-chan would always be sitting by herself in a tree were no one could see her unless you looked. She also used to have a boyfriend'-
'He wasn't my boyfriend…' I cut in quickly, and then fade out near the end. I couldn't stand to bring up the subject of him. It'd hurt way too much.
-'Fine, he wasn't your boyfriend. Well, she had this guy who was her "friend" who she used to hang out with at the school. They were always together. The thing that brought them to meet each other was the fact they were both social rejects. They both had severe emotional problems. They were also both very talented, top of the school. If they were together, which I bet they were, they were perfect for each other, exact matches. Both were sad, hated, feared, gifted, and sad again. It has a sad ending however…
'He died after almost a year, no one knew what happened. There must've been a fight or something, no one has any idea. There were all sorts of guesses going around; all of them were stupid though. There's only one person who knows what really happened, but unfortunately she will never tell a soul…'
She looks over at me, while I just keep on walking, staring at the ground below me.
'Many people had rushed over, even though the grounds were near deserted. They all gasped as they saw the scene- Joy-chan and the boy both covered in blood, with so many wounds. The boy lying on the grass, below my cousin, crying onto his cold, silent chest- dead.'
Tobi gasped and started crying childishly 'Waa, Tobi is sad now. Did Joy-chan kill him?' he added a little bit too abruptly.
I open my mouth to answer the question, but barely any noise came out. I only managed a small, soft reply. I look down to my shoes again and try to tell them what really happened; I couldn't have Deidara thinking I was a murderer of close friends.
'No. He… he…-' I try to go on, but I can't bare it. I just fall onto my knees and started crying.
'Don't worry, Joy-chan.' Says a mortified Deidara, running over and sitting down next to me, trying to catch my eyesight. 'I know you wouldn't do something like that.'
I try to muster up the courage to say thank you, but I can't. Instead I just fall into Deidara's arms. Whimpering, and still choking out tears for my old friend.
I suddenly realise that I am right next to Deidara, close enough to hear his soft and steady heartbeat, even though as soon as I came close enough to him it started beating at an epic rate.
Kairi moves over and informs the two male members in the group that my old friend is a dangerous topic to talk about.
'So how did the little boy die then?' asks Tobi curiously.
'Tobi, you idiot! Didn't Kairi just say not to talk about him? Isn't Joy-chan crying enough already?'
I thought I would cry some more, but just the thought of how Deidara was standing up for me and caring for me was enough to make me, just a little bit, in a small, barely plausible kind of way, happy. Especially when Deidara put his arms around me and tightened it in a way that it wasn't a squeezing hug, but a comforting one. I really wish I could just kiss him, but that'd just be so embarrassing if he- and he would- push me away and hate me forever.
After a while I calm down and as we both stand up, I softly press my lips against the side of his cheek in a way that it might've just been an accident. As soon as I had done it though I instantly regretted it. I damned myself silently in my head, than looked over at Deidara. He had turned a bright red and was kinda dazed in a happy sort of way. Confusing…
We keep on walking, while Kairi kept on talking about me, but staying away from any of the bad points or sad things in my life, and Deidara kept on glancing over at me, quickly blushing and looking away every time he did.
'Oooh, Tobi likes this side of Joy-chan you're talking about!'
Kairi was now focussing on the more cute side of me, when I was much, much younger.
'Awww, she used to be so adorable. I heard a story that when she was about 3 she had put on her mums lipstick all over her face and called it her war paint, and started using taijutsu against all the trees.'
I closed my eyes and blushed so hard as the three other members of the group looked over at me. Tobi cacking himself laughing, Kairi pleased she embarrassed me so, and Deidara looking a bit more sympathetic, but still trying hard not to laugh. I must admit, it was quite funny.
Kairi continues on, 'She used to babysit me a bit, before she started getting really involved in the training. She tried to help me with my Gen jutsu, seeing as I fail at it but she is very good. She didn't do very well at teaching me though, but she did entertain me a lot, seeing as three year olds are often entertained at rocks in the ground looking like dollies they can play with. She was like an older sister to me'
I was deeply regretting this conversation; nobody is ever going to let me forget it. When will this trip end!?
I could tell Kairi was thinking the same thing when she asked how much longer it would be. Deidara answered that it would be a while yet, but offered up an idea of making the trip go faster.
'We could use one of my clay birds. I think we will all be able to fit if we squeeze up. Tobi, you'll be holding onto one of the feet.'
'Again…' Tobi mumbled.
Kairi agreed instantaneously not even thinking about it. 'Cool, this will be SO awesome. We're going to be flying in the skies, and on some clay!'
I looked over at Deidara and nodded shyly. I then looked towards one of his hands, a tongue extending down into the bag he had over his shoulder.
I delicately smile to myself again, when no one is looking. I love the mouths on his hands, I love uniqueness. And I don't know why, but I find the mouths on his hands kinda hot…
I sigh and start thinking of some poems I could write when I get back. I love writing, it gives me a chance to vent my feelings artistically, not just in the flesh.
I lose track of time, thinking of rhymes about unreturned love in my mind, but when I look up I see a majestic, beautiful, white bird standing on the ground, Deidara climbing onto its back while my cousin just stands in awe, admiring the wondrous sculpture.
Deidara helps me on, and I sit right behind him, Kairi behind me, and Tobi below us.
The bird swiftly lifts up his wings and starts soaring into the sky, darkening around us, turning into the night.