Note: thanks to casualp; dreamland4; mapo; llevene; SamsSmiles247; TheAngelGirl1992 for their reviews.
Just want to say that I found myself drawn to super-angstyness by letting Gwen and Lancelot have an affair even though I also would like it to not be so (especially in the show). Also, with requests to not let them get together, I have decided to have it both ways by writing two endings :p
This is the first (I daresay unpopular) version…
Ending 1
He closed his eyes and drew in deep breaths, temporarily shutting himself off from Merlin's increasingly desperate shouts.
Re-opening his eyes, he viewed his oldest and greatest friend – no longer his servant, Merlin was Court Magician and Physician. Moreover, he was his most trusted advisor, the person he could count on for an even and honest opinion.
He studied the darker man who had retained his slender figure from his youth. The years had been kind to Merlin, there were few lines on his visage which still hinted at boyish mischief. Instead, his face held wisdom, knowledge and experience – some it gained through blood and sweat, some of it through happy coincidences but all with his king and friend at his side.
There was the faintest dusting of grey amongst the brown thatch of hair, the same as himself he guessed but it was only his blond hair that hid any grey of his own.
"Arthur, are you even listening me?" demanded Merlin. "You must go after her, you have to get her back!" Despair pulled at the sorcerer's heart. He couldn't believe that the great romance between his two best friends had come to this. Their union had been hard-won. Born from seeds sewn so many years ago it had survived great adversity from different women and men and open opposition, not least from the old king, to finally see them joyfully wed. It seemed unreal to him that Arthur would let Gwen go so easily. It seemed unreal that Gwen would have gone so easily.
He brought himself back to the present. He could tell that Merlin was simmering with barely contained frustration but he had already made his decision and it had not been made lightly.
"Merlin, stop. Please. What's done is done and cannot be changed." He felt old all of a sudden, far older than his years would suggest. Like his friend, he had also retained his boyish good looks but it was his eyes…
Anyone who studied those blue orbs for any length would see past the arrogant façade and see a weary cynicism there, a haunted look. They were eyes that had seen too much, endured too much.
Merlin's shoulders slumped in defeat, his head tilted questioningly. "What happened?" he asked Arthur softly.
What happened, indeed? It was a question he had asked himself over and over and the truth was he had no idea.
Of course, he had not been able to spend as much time with her as he would have liked but he was the king, there were just some things that he had to deal with in person. It just so happened that these things had been coming along one after the other with little or no time in between.
They argued more, but didn't all couples argue? The only difference was they hadn't been making-up afterwards. He couldn't communicate with her anymore, she took everything so personally without realising the dangers that surrounded them. She accused him of turning into his father.
He pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes squeezed shut for a moment. Gods, he was tired. Tired of always looking over his shoulder, tired of the constant nagging concern he had for the safety of his kingdom, tired of the fights with her. He loved her so much, he still did but she just couldn't seem to see that. She knew he wasn't exactly the emoting type but she had been the one to unlock his softer side, the one who he felt he could demonstrate his feelings to.
They had their problems but he never thought they would be irreconcilable. How wrong could he be?
"I let her go." His words were a whisper that drifted to Merlin who said nothing, a confused expression on his face while he waited for his friend to continue.
"She made her choice." Blue eyes turned to Merlin. "If you love someone, set them free. Isn't that what they say?" He laughed then, a mocking sound directed at himself. "I guess I must love her an awful lot."
The sorcerer looked at him, full of sympathy. "What of Lancelot? Why didn't you stop him? Challenge him?"
It was a question he had also asked himself more times than he cared to remember and the answer was always the same.
"I don't know." He saw his former servant's dubious look. "I honestly don't." He paused, trying to collect his thoughts. "I…she…looked so happy. With him." His jaw clenched, eyes clouding with hurt and regret. "For the first time in so long, she looked…happy. Do you know, it was the same look she had when I gave her that rose all those years ago?"
Merlin nodded his head, recalling the event. "Yes, after you had been 'Sir William'."
"I couldn't take that away from her."
He had watched her ride away from the castle, from the home they had shared and once been so blissful in. At least she had spared him the humiliation of leaving with Lancelot. The errant knight had departed several days ago.
One last gaze over her shoulder as she went through the gates and she was gone.
How was he to know that just one kiss would have made everything better, that just one kiss and it would have been alright.
Ok, sorry to post this version first and for shamelessly ad-libbing Basement Jaxx lyrics.
Please review this x
I will post the happy version as soon as it's written :D