BPOV
"Um meet you at the house" Rose said as we both got in. Edward kissd my forehead and the others climbed in the Volvo.
"Thanks for doing this Rose" I said. she looked and nodded.
"Hopefully, this will get you to understand the life I've had" I said. she rolled her eyes. She drove me to my house silently and awkwardly.
"Ok get your stuff" she said. I nodded and got out going into my unlocked house-great chief!- and going ot get my bad Bella box. I took my stool and reached for the box on the shelf of my closet. Looking at it brought back flooded memories. I shook them off and went back downstairs leaving a note for Charlie saying I was at the Cullen's and went outside to meet Rosalie. I got in and she drove wordlessly to the house.
"What's In the box?" she asked.
"Oh um, just my things. You'll see when get to I shook them off and went back downstairs leaving a note for Charlie saying I was at the Cullen's and went outside to meet Rosalie. I got in and she drove wordlessly to the house.
"What's In the box?" she asked.
"Oh um, just my things. You'll see when get to your house" I said as she nodded and kept driving. I sighed and got nervous as she pulled up.
"Ok let's go" she said. I left my bag in her car and carried the plastic box inside. Without meeting anyone's eyes I found them all crowded in the living room for this meeting. Carlisle and Esme were here.
"Bella, what is this about?" Edward asked worried. I smiled at him.
"Just listen" I said. he nodded.
"First I'm going to go through this box. I asked Rosalie, since we're not very close and she wouldn't really talk" I chuckled and removed the lid. I took out different tops and shirts.
"My shirts, I used to wear. This lacy, slutty one was my favorite" I said and held the piece of clothing in my hands. I set it on the coffee table.
"this skirt, shorts, and sweats" I said as I pulled out the shortest shorts and skirts you could imagine.
"I loved these shorts. So comfortable. So…flexible" I laughed. They all gasped. I shook my head and laid those out too. They picked up the clothing items and looked at them. Edward held the lacy black tank top in his hands and talked to his siblings.
"My pack of cigarettes. Oh how I loved them. Now they disgust me" I spat and threw them back in the box.
"My hooker heels. As I call them now. these black, gold studded 6 inchers I shared with Amber. They were like the Sisterhood of the Traveling Shoes" I smiled and laid out all the shoes I had.
"Bella, where are you going with this?" Alice asked as she stared at the shoes.
"Just listen" I said.
"Carlisle, I want you to take this. So I'm not tempted. And take it to the hospital, get rid of it" I said and took out the bag of heroin. I stared at it for a while, just glaring at it. I took the box of syringes and handed it to him and he just stared while held them.
"Heroin Bella?" he asked. Esme was crying, silently as she looked at all the things I've laid out. They all stared at me with hurt on their face. Edward had his face in his hands. I felt so guilty. Damn Amber! Why did she have to come?! I felt tears go down my face and I continued.
"Yeah, destroyer of life" I murmured.
"Pictures, my fake Id, camera, video footage, and this showy underwear." I laughed darkly as I dumped it all out.
"Tell them what happened" Jasper said. I looked at him and nodded. moving the clothes I sat on the table.
"It started when I was 13. Good girl gone bad!" I laughed darkly again.
"Ok, when I was 13 my mom met Phil. Ok I know how I said that he's a really nice guy, he's good for Renee, and is a good step-father. Well I didn't believe that, so I got jealous. I got jealous, that my mom had someone else more important than me. Well that's what I thought. So I rebelled against her. I talked to Amber. She was the school druggie. I asked her if I could hang out with her, and she at first was a little hesitant, but warmed up to me. I changed my look to match hers, which was the shortest shorts possible, black tight tube tops, and loads of make-up." she said and took a breath.
"The first we hung out together, we went shopping. She paid for everything with stolen money. Which was over 200 hundred dollars. She didn't tell me where she got it from. While we were out, I got my ears pierced, my nose stuff, and a belly button ring" she said and lifted up her shirt to show the ring. It was a needle looking thing with studs on the ends through her belly button, "my nose is on the other side. It's still there but, not really big. I managed to hide it from Edward by powdering my nose. I use a lot of powder. I'm would notice, but she didn't" Bella continued a few tears slipping off her cheeks, as she wiped them away furiously.
"after that, we started hanging out together a lot and people mistook us for sisters, with our brown eyes and hair. The way we dressed, and interacted with another. I started wearing hook heels, as I call them. Sorry Alice" I said and continued, "we got into surprised I pulled it off. Anyway, my mom was too bust to notice. I thought that she clubs, danced. I lost my innocence, as I say, when I was 14. I wasn't raped, I was equally as responsible. The guy was, I think, 19 or 20. I celebrated with Amber who lost hers when she was 13. We got to my house and she had something in her purse. It was heroin. We were drunk, and shot up. It felt so good. We did every Friday, after school in my bathroom. She got from her brother, who she paid money to get it. He shot up too, and his name was Xuna, as we called him. he supplied us. Soon, I was exactly like her. we wore skimpy clothing, stole, did drugs, and were drinking. Not exactly what I thought I would become. I began smoking, as a way of clearing my head. It felt nice, all the worries just being breathed away." I said.
"I got my tongue pierced, too. Since Edward doesn't go farther than just lips, we don't really make out. I'm getting it removed. We both liked to dress up. I remember inhaling, and then not waking up. Amber got freaked out, and it took a few minutes for her to wake me up" I sniffed and ran my hands through my hair furiously. I looked up and they were staring. Alice was crying silently with Esme, and Rose was just staring at her hands as she processed this.
"well I woke up to her tapping me on my face. I didn't do that again. but a month after that I over dosed. On heroin of course. It still didn't stop me from being who I was. I just became sick, and got over it. I still did it of course, because of the addiction. I hooked up with Razor" I said. I looked them and now hurt covered their faces. Edward had his hands in his face as Esme rubbed his back in a motherly gesture.
"He was so sweet. I loved him. We were a perfect match. We were so happy, and then he moved. To Massachusetts. I saw my moms scrap supplies on the kitchen table. I took the scissors and cut myself. So then I started cutting. Amber helped me get over that. But when you do that, it feels like you're numb. Like all the pain is going away. I loved it. It numbed the pain, Razor caused by leaving" I laughed again. Edward sniffed, signally he was crying also, and I so badly wanted to hug him. So I did. I got up, sat on his lap, and hugged him close to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his face in my neck. I played with his hair and leaned up.
"Well when it was my 17th birthday, my mom surprised me by saying she's getting married to Phil. I lost it. I yelled, screamed, threw things, and cussed her out. She got offensive and asked me what was wrong. She held me on my bed while I cried and told her the whole story. She cried with me and held me. I wanted a fresh start, so without telling anybody, I moved here. That was Amber, who I yelled at in the hallway. Razor is here too. I just don't know what to do! I have a pack of heroin and syringe in my closet. I don't use it. But I might. And I'm scared! That's why I gave it to you Carlisle. I'm so scared" I sobbed and this time Edward comforted me. he ran his hands through my hair as I cried into his neck. I breathed in and out calming myself.
"Bella, why?" Alice asked.
"I was young and stupid. Very stupid. I'm glad I stopped when I did" I said and more hot tears ran down my cheeks.
"Bella I promise we won't let you hurt yourself again" Carlisle said. I got up and hugged him. he hugged me back and kissed the top of my head in a fatherly gesture.
"I know. And I won't either" I said. he nodded and I let go.
"Let's get rid of thos" Edward said as he pulled me into his lap, I situated myself across him and put my arms around his neck.
"I like some of the tops. And we're keeping the shoes" Alice laughed and sniffed. I smiled.
"Ok then. But not everything. I want to keep the pictures, the camera, and let's go over the footage" I said. Emmett grabbed the stacks of skinny CD holders with footage inside and popped one in.
I stared and we all watched.
*On the tape*
"Ok, so these beautiful and hot young ladies are going to try and attempt to get high off of nail polish remover. Done that before. Babe come on!" Razor said from behind the camera.
Bella at 15 and Amber at 15 were sitting on the tub with towels to block out the fumes from leaving our noses. We giggled.
"Let's do this!" Bella giggled and they both started inhaling.
"Not too much! Remember this is for a experiment!" Razor laughed.
"we know! God you dumbass!" Amber laughed.
"this is great!" Bella said and continued inhaling.
"Izzy ok let's stop!" Amber said and Bella fell into the tub unconscious.
"Izzy?!" Amber asked scared and set the nail polish remover on the sink and tapped Bella's face lightly.
"Babe? Are you ok?" Razor asked and set the camera on the sink. They both tried to wake up Bella. she wasn't.
"Shit! Amber!" Razor said scared also and leaned up Bella and put her on his lap sitting up.
"Bella?" Amber asked. Bella regained conciousness.
"You bitch!" she spat and giggled. Razor hugged her tightly and kissed her, which lead to a make-put session. Amber took the camera and faced it to her.
"Ooh! Steamy!" she grinned and turned the camera off.
*end of tape*
I watched in horror as Emmett got the tape out.
"You want to save it?" he asked. I shook my head.
"No" I said hoarsely. He broke it in two.
"Good" he said.
"Let's go through them all. No matter what they are" I said.
"You sure?" Alice asked.
"Positive" I said. Emmett popped in another one and it was Amber and I on my bed.
*On the tape*
"Ok one…two….three!" Amber said as a 16 year old looking Bella and Amber put needles in their arm.
"that feels nice!" Amber smiled and closed her eyes.
"I know! I'm so glad Xuna got us this shit!" Bella smiled and leaned back against the post.
*tape interrupted*
"Turn it off!" Esme sobbed. Emmett took it out furiously and snapped it to bits then crushed it with his foot. I cried into Edward's shirt.
The rest were of Amber and I being stupid with Razor and Xuna.
"the last one" Emmett said and popped in that disk.
*on the tape*
A group of teenagers lay in the sand of a park. Bella was in Razor's lap as she played with sand and laughed with her friends. Razor kissed her on her cheek and she laughed into him as he snaked his arms around her waist.
"Ok lets make a circle with our feet" Lisa, a friend of Bella and Amber's, said. a group of people got up and took out cameras and snapped a photo. They lay back in the sand again, in the same positions as they were.
"Let's play truth or dare" Megan said. everybody nodded and passed beers, wine bottles, and vodka around.
They laughed drunkenly and did stupid things. Bella through sand and Amber was saying non-sense.
*end of tape*
"I'm keeping that" I whispered.
"Why?" Rose asked.
"Because it was the best time I had there" I said and cleared my throat.
"Well that's it" I chuckled.
"Last thing to do is call Razor" I said. his number was burning in my back pocket.
"Then get it over with" Alice said and passed me her iPhone. I took it and dialed the number.
"Hello?" Razor's voice came.
"Hey!" I said.
"Izzy?" he asked.
"Yeah, this isn't my number though. My friend's phone" I said.
"Oh. Well what's up?" he asked. I heard Amber's familiar laugh, and James begging for the phone with others.
"we need to talk" I said.
"Hell yeah we do!" he said.
"Razor I'm not the same. I'm actually clean. I don't smoke, and I dress differently. I'm not the same person. I'm so sorry. I will always love you" I said. Edward put his face in my neck again.
"oh. Well I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah I love you too. Always. Remember that. Well I'll leave you now. oh, and keep the ring. I release you." he said and hung up. I cried even harder.
"Bella what's wrong?" he asked. I sniffed and wiped my eyes furiously and dug to the bottom of the box. There was a tiny blue velvet box. I opened it and there sat my ring. So elegantly cut.
"I was engaged. I totally forgot. I feel like a whore!" I cried.
"You can never be a whore" Rose said. I looked up shocked, as she stared at her hands.
"He said keep it. He released me too" I said and looked to the ring that was already on my finger.
"I love this one more though" I said and played with Edward's engagement ring.
"Good" Edward said and I threw him the box.
"I do want to keep it. As a memory" I said. he looked and nodded.
"Whatever you wish" he said. Alice reached and gasped.
"It's beaufitul. I'll keep it safe in my jewelry box" she said.
"Thank you" I said. she nodded.
"Well that's it" I said. they nodded.
"Past is behind us. Now we're looking forward to the future" Edward said. I plopped myself in his lap.
"my words exactly" I said and kissed him softly. He lifted my shirt and looked at the piercing. I rolled my eyes.
"This is actually sexy. I like it" he growled playfully. I laughed embarrassed and we all laughed.
"I want to keep it. Along with the nose one. Look how gross this is" I said and stuck out my toungue.
"That's a big stud!" Alice said. I nodded.
"I'm getting it removed. What do you think Edward?" I asked and stuck out my tougne at him.
"It's…not attractive" he said. I nodded.
"I know that" I said.
"Thank you Jasper" I said.
"No problem sis" he smiled and gave me a hug.
One more chapter!! Ok I love this, just had to write it!!! R&R!!!!
You know I'm adorable!
Elizabeth