III.
Andor, Stefan and Cadel were lost in processing the information about Ocella.
Markus was slow to recover from the disorienting effects of having his memories literally reprocessed for him. He'd come back to being conscious remembering what she had seen, after she had rapidly put together the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle in his mind for him, leaving him with memories now pieced together in a way that shocked him. She had whispered soothing thoughts to him, trying to set him at ease. But still... For the first time, he saw it all as a whole.
He had failed. For two hundred years they all thought he had done his bidding and he had actually failed. But at the same time, he also felt different than he had in the entire time he had been undead. She had restored something in him. Repaired it. Something damaged by Ocella that had even survived Andor's turning him. Ocella's glamour had damaged his mind, his memories, and even after turning him, Andor had kept him close and not released him because his whole affect had been oddly flattened. He could work and fight but he didn't seem to have any initiative. He lacked some essential will. They kept him for what they thought he had done, or even just because of how he had been used. Andor had protected him, never abused him, never even allowed Ocella to abuse him, claiming that he was Andor's and not to be loaned. She had seen these things and had given them back to him, in a whole, meticulously restored vision, while simultaneously undoing whatever it was that Ocella had set into his human mind that had so confused him about his past and what had happened that night long ago, as well as seeming to steal his volition. And she'd done it in a matter of minutes. It was… stunning. He felt as if he had been a room that had fallen into shadow and she'd come in and let light back in.
All the while Pam sat silently on the edge of the bed, wondering about Sookie's telepathic abilities. Because it certainly looked like she and Eric were having some whole other conversation… well, argument, in addition to whatever it was that they were saying out loud. She handed her the glassful of blood, which she took almost greedily, even though she'd already had so much. She reached out to brush some of Sookie's hair out of her face and was now less concerned when Sookie hissed at her and batted her hand away. She was lost in a sea of anger and feelings of betrayal. But that would have to ebb with time, she told herself. It had to. She had been such a gentle soul even if she had always been so brave. And now she was simply amazing. She could glamour vampires. Also on the positive side, Pam knew for certain that she was not her really her sire, which relieved her of an immense burden. It was merely a technicality that she was the sire. It seemed sort of like Eric was, but even Eric couldn't entirely control her. But he was already used to that. Still, the whole business was rather odd.
On a selfish level, Pam was thrilled that it appeared that Sookie had actually forgiven her and that she didn't have to take charge of her. Sookie blamed Eric for keeping her. But what did she expect? Did she think that either one of them could have borne it to actually just cremate her as if it was nothing? Decapitate her? Who was she kidding? She wasn't permanently dead and all bets were off. Sookie found it hard to stay angry at anyone she loved for very long, anyway. And there was nothing but time ahead of her now to get over things. So this was good. Even if she was very angry, she still seemed to be enough of herself to have felt badly for Stefan and Cadel with whatever it was that she saw in their minds, especially Stefan. What had she seen in Stefan's mind? Stefan, who was so gentle… Well, that could be determined later. And the business from Markus? Well, that clearly had much bigger implications. But still, focusing on the immediate, she would forgive them all. Although, she was pretty damn angry. That was quite evident. Perhaps she could be encouraged to tone it down just a bit where Eric was concerned. It was hardly fair to blame him to such an extent. And they certainly couldn't have her behaving this way in public.
Angry at him or not, though, Eric still had been able to draw out some of what she could do. What she could do was dangerous. It seemed that she could telepathically read, either through glamour or direct reading, vampire minds. This would not win her many fans. Clearly, she could also communicate with at least Eric, telepathically. But could she still read humans? She reflected on Stan's loss of human telepathy, only able to send and not even receive the thoughts of other vampires. Clearly there was not going to be much safe use for going around glamouring other vampires and reading their minds. It was not a skill that going to win them many friends. But the human telepathy had been important. Important to their security and to her livelihood. She took her cell phone out of her pocket and called someone who owed her more than a few favors and who would be a totally safe bet.
Eric asked her, "Who are you calling?"
Without answering directly, she replied "I just want to see something."
Eric stood silently watching Sookie drink the blood. She was very pink and robust looking. But she didn't even want to look at him. She hit at Pam again for trying to touch her hair. At one point she even growled at her. She was so wild and angry. She'd always had such a temper. At present, she was just consumed with her anger. It would take careful management. Still, even with all the anger, however, he could feel glimmers of her true nature and was sure it would just take a bit of time. The way she'd spoken to Cadel, looked at Stefan or even whatever it was that she'd done with Markus, showed that she still was herself. She felt for them, even if she had said she hated all of them. Clearly she did not hate them.
A few minutes later there was a knock on the door. Stefan looked puzzled to let Ruben inside the room. Pam rose and guided him over toward Sookie. Carefully placing herself between Sookie and Ruben, she said softly,
"Sookie, Ruben is here to see you. I thought you would want to say hello to him. Ruben, thank you for all the blood. You'd be astonished at how much she's drinking compared to what a trial it was to get her to eat as a human. It's simply delightful."
She leaned forward and whispered to Sookie,
"And… while we're at it, can you still read Ruben's thoughts?" No point in beating around the bush, she thought to herself.
Sookie looked up from her glass of blood, her eyes going into an intense blue as she regarded Ruben with a laser-like stare then looked away from him. Ruben was in a relatively small space with seven vampires, one of whom had risen just a few hours before and had proceeded to scream, for almost a solid hour, loudly enough to be heard two floors below. Even though he'd always genuinely liked her, he couldn't wait to get out of the room.
"Let him leave. You are frightening him. He is afraid of me. Let him go away, Pam."
"Mrs. Northman," ventured Ruben, trying to steel himself. "I'm not afraid." He hesitated then said softly, "If you have a preference yet, I'd be happy to order up more. Real O negative is hard to get but I know Dr. Ludwig can get O and A positive pretty easily and even AB negative if you like to try that. I'm so glad to see you are going to be okay. I kept you in my prayers."
She glanced back at him with eyes gone hard and replied with a snort,
"Perhaps you'd like to pray harder that I'll really die then, Ruben."
Eric snapped his fingers and gestured to Pam that Ruben should leave. Pam guided him to the door and after quickly murmuring a few words, he left the room with a slightly blank look on his face, no longer remembering clearly what he'd seen or heard.
Eric stood over her, glaring, while she finished the glass of blood and steadfastly refused to look up at him.
Stop saying that bullshit. Enough already. You are staying like this, with us and you will be happy like this, Sookie. You will adjust and be happy.
You won't tell me what to say or think or do or feel. You never have and you never will. I'll never let you and if you don't like it, you should kill me now or let me kill myself as I wish, she said, mentally, with a snarling face. Because I hate you and I hate being this way because of you. Because of you and your empty promises. Or should I just call them lies? I'll never be happy because of you.
She started to open her mouth as if to speak.
Not another word Sookie!
With an openly angry expression on his own face, he scooped her up and left Pam's room with her. She kicked, screamed, hissed and clawed at him, as he carried her toward their room. He dropped her to her feet, pressing her flat against the wall with his body, while he unlocked the door via the scanner. She resisted entering the room, grabbing onto the frame of the door, the door itself and finally even bit his shoulder through his shirt as he half lifted, half dragged her inside.
Stop it! Just stop it! I don't want to hurt you. Stop fighting. You cannot possibly win in a physical match against me, Sookie. So stop fighting me. You'll just end up hurting yourself.
Don't touch me! Don't you dare touch me! She flailed and twisted as if in a panic as she tried to bolt for the door. Let me go! Let me go back to Pam!
He ignored her as he half-dragged and half-carried her toward the bathroom. He yanked the nightgown off her as she struggled to avoid his touch and then pushed her into the shower. He turned on the shower and removed the flexible corded showerhead from the wall and wet her down, once the water was warm. He put the showerhead back up.
You have dried blood in your hair. Wash your hair. Clean yourself up. You will feel better.
She stood in the warm water and looking as if straining against something, finally closing her eyes and almost trembling, but still totally alert, fingers outstretched but poised as if to scratch at him, her hands shaking. He stood just outside the shower stall. She looked as if she was ready to fend off his touching her, tense, almost as if anticipating that he would attack her when he leaned into the stall. Instead, he reached past her and then handed her shampoo. Her knuckles were white as she gripped the bottle of shampoo.
Wash your hair, he said firmly. You will feel better if you take care of yourself.
He walked farther away and leaned against the edge of the bathroom counter. It was then that she opened her eyes, which glowed copper and quickly faded toward blue. She still regarded him hostilely however, with eyes glowing faintly.
Finally, she began to shampoo her hair. Then she examined the area just above her breast where the knife had stabbed her as if remembering that the wound, now gone, had been there. It looked, then, as if she was crying while the water flowed onto her head. He looked away for a moment, working his jaw as he ground his teeth. Three nights later and it was still hard to accept. She had been murdered because she believed vampires should have rights? That's what her killer had told the FBI and the police. They hated her because she represented the unraveling of their discrimination. And now she was one of them. He looked back at her. She stood pressed into the corner of the stall, her face pressed against the smooth granite walls, crying. It was so painful to watch…
When she finished the shower he handed her a towel. He tried to dry her back but she ducked away from him. He handed her her bathrobe. He offered her an extra towel for her hair. Instead of accepting it she stood in front of the mirror and ran a comb through her wet hair. He stood behind her.
She looked at him warily.
Don't touch me. Don't you dare touch me!
He sighed, raising his hands so she could see them.
"I will not touch you unless you wish it. I will not hurt you. I love you."
"If you really loved me you would have let me die. Or you'd let me die now. This is just ownership, possessiveness, not love. You think you own me, but you never will."
He visibly winced, and looked away, not responding. She continued.
"You lied. You lied to me. And I'll never forgive you. I hate you for it. For your lies and your trickery. The first chance I get, I'm going to be up on that roof to see the sunrise. You stole ten years of my life, my death. I'll take it back. And you won't stop me."
"Sookie, please. Please, stop saying that. I forbid you to harm yourself. Do you hear me? Are you listening? I forbid it."
She walked out of the bathroom and started laughing at him in a wild fashion. He grabbed her arm roughly, spinning her around and then grabbing her by the shoulders. She winced, and cried out slightly and he lessened his grip.
"If you're going to hurt me, why not just kill me? Why not? I'll never be compelled by you. It didn't work before and it won't work now. Kill me. Kill me now and save yourself time and trouble. Or let me go and I'll do it myself. Just let me go."
"I cannot do that."
"Coward. Selfish bastard. Liar," she hissed.
He dropped his hold on her and glanced away, closing his eyes. How was he going to reason with her? What if she really did try to harm herself? He turned back to her, his face looking almost mask-like.
"I will make you an offer. Give it a year. A full year from tonight. You must promise you will not try to harm yourself, put an end yourself. If you are still unhappy after a year, it will be as you wish."
"And I should trust your word this time exactly why?"
"I did not break my word to you. I did not turn you. I did not ask anyone else to turn you. As Pam has told you, it was a mistake on her part."
"But you let me survive this way. Knowing I did not want it. You have broken your word and no matter what lies you tell yourself or me, that is a fact."
"I did not make you this way, or have you made. But I will not, cannot, just discard you like refuse when you are a walking and talking person, Sookie! A person to whom I am married, I might add. I just won't! And I never gave you my word about any such situation, so don't you dare call me a liar. I have not lied to you!" he shouted. He closed his eyes grasping for calm, and said, "I want you. I love you. I have to believe that you can be happy, in spite of what has happened. Give it time."
"I was murdered and betrayed and I will be happy? Really? The roof at dawn would make me happy," she hissed.
"The roof at dawn is not an option! You are upset and angry and you will get past this. What happened is horrible, but you will get past it. You will adjust, as have we all."
"Murdered by some fanatic I can take. Will I ever get past hating you for betraying me and breaking your word to me? I'm supposed to just hang around for all time now? Is that it? I think not."
He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw trying to control his anger and tamp it down as low as he could get it. He opened his eyes again and looked at her flushed cheeks and her angrily glowing eyes.
"I have not betrayed you. Are you interested in my offer or not? One year, and then you are free to do as you wish. If you say no, I'll have no other option than to have someone with you at all times. And you hated that when you were alive, so I'm going to assume you will hate it now."
As he spoke, she had edged closer to him. Her nostrils flared slightly as she seemed to inhale his scent. She was so much less shaky after all the blood than a new vampire normally would be, so graceful and sinuous in her movements. She was hungry, but clearly no longer hungry for blood. He looked at her as she traced her eyes over his mouth, then his frame from his chest, down to his crotch where her eyes lingered and her pupils widened. He could feel her quickly edging into that other lust and it looked like she was on the verge of having it spin out of control. He wanted to make his ground rules quite clear and try to keep her focused. He stepped back away from her and crossed his arms.
"My offer has terms."
"What terms?" she asked as she instantly snapped her eyes back up to his.
"You cannot seek to end your existence. You will swear your fealty to me like any other subject. You cannot feed from human donors without one of us with you, to prevent your harming anyone. In the beginning it is hard to stop when you start to feed and you must be supervised. And specifically, in your case, you cannot glamour any vampire, without permission, unless it is for some self-defensive purpose."
"That's all?" she said as her eyes again began to drift over his form.
"You remember your vows, Sookie?"
She gave him a dark and silent look through her eyelashes.
"You are mine, Sookie. I remember what it is like to be new. Everything feels different, more intense, exciting. There are many attractions, distractions. And it is easy to get confused with sensation seeking and sexual invitation. You gave me a vow of fidelity when we married. If you expect me to hold to my vows, you must hold to yours."
Her eyes narrowed as she looked back up at his face.
"So you think I will just fuck everyone here to get back at you?"
Eric met her eyes. "No. But I want you to stop and think before you act. Because I expect fidelity. Is that absolutely clear?"
"One year? And those are the terms?"
"Yes."
"And you swear that you would even kill me yourself if I wish it?" she said looking at him with eyes that glowed like hot metal.
He gritted his teeth and felt himself tighten inside.
"If that is your wish, at the end of one full year, yes."
She dropped hard to her knees on the wooden floor and bowed her head to him. He winced at the sound of her knees hitting the floor.
"I swear fealty to you, to your vampires. I accept your terms." She looked up and met his eyes in a defiant manner. "In return, in one year, you will let me meet the sun."
Looking down at her stonily, he said soberly, "I certainly hope not."
She looked down again and gasped softly.
"I do not even know how I will stand it for that long. If you really loved me at all, let me go to the roof at dawn. Because I ask you to let me." She looked up at him, pleadingly.
"No. No, I wouldn't. And you've just sworn to me that you will not do that. Just you remember that. If I really love you, I'll put up with this shit until you come to your senses and get past your anger over the fact that you were murdered and that Pam, in trying to help you, miscalculated. You'll come to your senses and realize that you are happy to still be here, and with people who love you, even if it isn't how you were before."
"No matter what happened to me, no matter who did what, the only reason I'm here and that I'm like this, exactly as I did not wish to be, is because of you. And don't think I'll ever forget it."
She rose, looking at him with loathing and walked away without reply, toward her rooms. He followed after her at a distance. Rosie was walking from her dayroom toward her in the library with her tail up high, in friendly greeting. But as she reached Sookie and sniffed at her hand she pulled back with flattened ears and spat at her. She lowered her tail and then ran back to the dayroom and under the daybed. At that, Sookie sank to the library floor, on her knees. He caught her as she doubled over sobbing and wailing. He held her, rocking her, as she cried for hours and until she collapsed with the coming dawn. He carried her back to the bed and put her in it, covering her with the comforter as she had so often covered him. He held her hand and looked at her with a feeling of immense sadness.
The pleasure of having her longer was almost bled dry by her cutting words. He had broken the spirit of his word to her, even if he could twist things just like a fairy and say he hadn't broken his promise. Cremation? Decapitation? It was simply not possible for him, or for Pam to do so. In spite of his not so quiet stance, he doubted even Cadel would have been able to do away with her. How could they and how could she expect that they could? Surely she would see that… she would have to see it, in time.
He had a year to convince her. It would be more than enough.
Hunter saw it. He had never been wrong. She will forgive me, he told himself. She will be happy.
As he settled in the bed he pulled her into his arms. He missed her warmth. But not just the warmth of her flesh… The warmth of feeling loved. The searing cold of her words stayed with him past the dawn.
She once again awoke ravenous. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, with four bottles of True Blood already warm. He had risen early to get the blood ready for her. She grabbed the bottles and drank greedily. He reached out to stroke her hair and she ducked way from his touch.
Don't touch me. I hate you. I hate you for letting me be like this. I hate the hunger. I hate everything about being this way.
"You will get used to it and you will not hate it. Some things you may even enjoy a great deal."
"What can I possibly enjoy about having no choices? About never seeing sunshine? This was done to you, to all of you, and you just forgot what it's like? What was taken from you?"
"I remember what it is to make the best of my circumstances. And I see how comparatively fortunate your circumstances are to those seen by most of the rest of us."
What I think is 'making the best' you will not let me do…
He didn't reply while she drank more. After a moment he said,
"Sookie, you can still read humans, right? You still read Ruben last night?"
"Am I still useful to you with the humans? Is that what you want to know?"
He sighed.
"I was more concerned with the idea that Hunter says he will be home tomorrow night. He is leaving Magnolia early tomorrow morning and driving straight back. If you cannot read humans I should warn him out of kindness. The loss will be a blow to him. Because I'm assuming that he won't be able to read you."
She stiffened.
"But I don't want him to see me like this."
"He already knows. That's why he's coming back early. We thought you wouldn't want him to see you as you were last night. But now he wants to see you."
"I don't care. I don't want him to see me this way."
Are you ashamed of being like me?
I am ashamed that I told him he could trust all of you. I going to make sure he stays as far away from all of you as he can get.
"Don't you be cruel about Hunter, Lover. Don't."
"Don't call me that. Don't talk to me like nothing has changed between us. Everything has changed. Everything."
He looked at her and stroked her hair, even after she batted his hand away several times.
"My feelings for you will never change. In spite of all the anger, you are still in there. You are still you. Do not try to be cruel to me about Hunter. He will not like it if you are," he said quietly.
She grabbed his hand to pull it away from her hair and then suddenly she bit his wrist. In spite of himself he shivered with pleasure as she drew his blood and did not pull it away from her right away. He pulled her closer and kissed her, tasting his own blood in her mouth. He kissed her tenderly but then she pulled him closer and kissed him more roughly. She kicked away the comforter and pulled him on top of her. She continued to kiss him voraciously and then grabbed his butt pulling him toward her. He pushed himself away from her.
"Slow down. Are you sure this is what you want? Look at how you feel. You are very angry. You say you hate me. Why would you want this now, Sookie?"
"Fuck me. I want you to fuck me."
"Well, I'd love to, but I'm not sure you really want me to. And I don't want you telling me later that I raped you. Tell me why you want me to. Tell me why."
She froze.
I just… I want to.
Ah yes... I'm sure you want to fuck. I'm very familiar with the feeling. But why, if you hate me, do you want to fuck me? Isn't that a bit odd? Think about it.
She grabbed at him again.
I just want it. I want you to fuck me.
He shook his head and spoke out loud,
"Well… I can't do that. I'm sorry. If you could even just tell me it would make you feel better, maybe I could. But what you say isn't rational. I'm telling you, you need to be careful to analyze your impulses when you are like this. You have to get used to it. And to make sure no one around you takes advantage of it, leading you on a path that isn't really yours. As Freud would say, it's all id right now. Don't let it rule you, Lover, or you won't be happy where it leads you. Stop and think before you act."
She seemed to reflect but wouldn't let go of him.
I hate you. I really hate you. But I just want to… This isn't me! What is wrong with me? This isn't me… Omigod what is wrong with me!
Then she started to cry. He cradled her in his arms and rocked her. She let him hold her again, to comfort her, as she had the night before. From somewhere deep in his past he sang her a lullaby he had sung to his children when their mother had died. It was a sad-sounding but soothing song.
"I love you," he whispered to her. "I love you, even if you hate me right now, Sookie. This will pass. Trust me. This will pass. You will be happy again. You have to believe me." He kissed her forehead. She was relaxed and still in his arms as he continued to rock her for several minutes, murmuring against her forehead.
She raised her head and kissed him, much more tenderly this time. In a familiar series of moves, she brushed his hair back from his face and looked at him then kissed him again while her hands pulled his hips toward her own and she shifted herself under him. He moaned and let his hands caress her breasts, her hips and her inner thighs as she spread her legs for him. He hesitated and looked at her, at her eyes glowing red. She pulled him toward her again and his fingers found his way inside her. She stroked his penis firmly, kissing his throat, rubbing her fangs against it.
"Please," she said softly. "I just… need it."
He groaned as she guided him into her and his head arched back as he cried out and then moved suddenly downward as he sank his teeth into her neck and tasted her newly cold blood. He thrust into her and they moved together in a harsher rhythm than that which he had known from before. It quickly felt wild, almost uncontrolled. They thrashed and bit at each other several times, finally seemingly just lost in one another, roiling in the bed and out of it.
Two hours later he laid her gently back onto the bed and tried to pull away from her.
"We need to stop, Sookie. Stop," he said softly.
She didn't want to stop. She grabbed onto him, trying to hold him, pulling him back inside her.
It is enough, Lover. You need to stop.
I don't want to stop.
"Which is why you need to stop. It's wonderful but there have to be limits. I need to work and really, you need to stop. There is more than just this. You're using it to avoid having to deal with adjusting to things. There is more than lust and anger in you. You need to find it or you won't be happy."
She tightened her grip on him but he extricated himself after a brief struggle. He rose from the bed. She growled angrily.
I hate you.
He sighed. "We should shower." He offered her his hand. She stared at it and then looked up at him angrily, with glowing eyes.
"What will you do if I fuck someone else?"
His eyes widened and he sharply withdrew his hand and recoiled as if she had struck him. He clenched his jaw.
"I forbid it! And you have already given me your word. Don't you dare make threats to me! Shower and be dressed before I leave the room. I'm not leaving you alone in here. You will stay with Pam tonight while I work. Get moving. Use the bathroom on your side. Stay out of my way. Do not leave our rooms without me."
After staring at her for a tense moment, his eyes glowing red in anger, he turned and walked away from her. He slammed the door to his bathroom.
She sat in the bed, with a single tear running down her face as she touched the spot he had occupied in the bed moments before. She loved him. But love was intertwined with so much anger. So much pain, confusion…
I hate being like this. This isn't me. I hate myself. I want to die.
There was only silence.
[2]
Six hours later, after Pam failed to answer her cell phone, Andor found her glamoured in her office. Eric read the note twice and then folded it and placed it in his desk drawer and locked the drawer.
----- ∞ -----
Eric,
Your offer did not specify that I had to spend the year with you. Right now, I just feel like the anger I feel inside me will tear everyone and everything that I have loved apart. I am hurting you, and I'm afraid to be this way around Hunter. It makes me feel desperate. So I have glamoured her in self-defense because I will find a way to end things myself before a year is up if I do not leave this place, and all of you. Right now. Tonight. I gave you my word not to harm myself. This is my only choice in order to keep it.
She will be released at 5 am. I tried it twice to make sure she would be okay and awake on her own. She should remember that I glamoured her and that she tried to stop me. She was so afraid she could hurt me. Please do not hold my leaving against her. It was not her fault.
Tell Hunter I love him and that I am so very sorry.
I don't hate you. I hate myself. But I will uphold the agreement. I gave you my word.
Sookie
----- ∞ -----
The following night he showed the note to Hunter, whose eyes filled with tears. His chin trembled as he handed it back to Eric. He looked him directly in the eyes and said,
"She will come back. It will not be as long as the last time. I… I know it must upset you very much that she did this again."
"You knew she would leave." It was a statement, not even a question.
Hunter nodded silently as the tears streamed down his cheeks and he looked down.
Eric slammed his open hand on the desk, making Hunter jump.
"Dammit Hunter! We can't find her! She took her passport, IDs and her personal bankcards. The only thing I know is that there was activity on her Swiss bank accounts but then she changed all the passwords and I can't access them anymore and even Cadel can't hack into them. So I can't find her. Do you know where she is? And why the hell didn't you tell me she would leave, Hunter? Do you have any idea how dangerous it is for her to be on her own? Especially given what she can do?"
Hunter, still looking down, shook his head and took a moment to try to recover himself.
"I simply cannot believe that you allowed this to happen. I simply cannot! I've had a hard enough time accepting that you knew that she'd die. But this? You tell me how you knew this and said nothing. How!?"
Hunter flinched and looked wide-eyed at Eric's angry and glowing eyes. He looked away and shivered. Finally, after a long shuddering sigh, he looked up and said,
"I couldn't, Uncle Eric. I'm sorry. I couldn't tell either one of you anything. And I was afraid to come back before she… I just couldn't face her yet. Couldn't face her knowing that I knew. And maybe it would have changed things for the worse if I was here, or even if I told you I thought she would leave. Do you remember long ago when you showed me how to play chess? Remember how I tried to make moves based on what you would have done in the future but then doing that changed everything? What I see, as I have seen it, turns out okay. If I had told you what would happen, perhaps things would have changed. Perhaps changed for the worse. She might have died for good. Or you might have forced her to stay, and that might have been a disaster. So I couldn't tell you because it would change the board. I really saw it like a game of chess. The King needed to stay where he was. The Queen needed to be free to move. Besides, it is her… process. It always has been. Aunt Sookie hates dealing with painful things head on. She always has. She doesn't deal with things head on until they get really bad." He paused, looking truly anguished as he spoke. "She keeps her word to you. I've seen it. I've seen her coming home. The two of you will be together. She will be happy this way, but it will take some time. I see it. I believe what I see. She will return. She will be better than good. Something about her surprises you. All of you. I saw it," he said in a choked voice. "I have to believe it. I have to."
Then he hung his head and openly cried, looking less like a man and more like a heartbroken child.
Eric looked at him, recognizing on some level, no matter how raw and stung and angry he felt himself, that Hunter, too, was left behind. Sookie was his world and he had been willing to let her leave without revealing anything because he believed it was the right thing to do. Even carrying the burden of having seen that this would happen to her, that she would literally be murdered and never telling anyone because he believed the outcome would be alright? How hard would that be? He asked himself. He had trusted that she would return and that it would all work out. That it would work out well.
Even so, Eric felt so resentful of her leaving yet again. She had always run away when things were bad, run away in one way or another, either literally or mentally. It was her process, to shut him out and try to deal with things entirely on her own. But it cut him to the bone. Well, when she came back, it was going to be the very last time she was operating this way.
His mind churned with thoughts about what her departure would mean. How was he supposed to handle all the questions that her disappearance would entail? The police, the AVL, the media? Even just among his people? In the end he was sure it could all be managed. No, the real issue, if he was honest with himself was being left again, a second time. Now, so much harder to accept than that other time, long ago. Much more public, much more personal. Before she had come to harm because he hadn't insisted on protecting her. And this time? This time in addition to not having provided sufficient protection, she thought he had betrayed her, had broken his word to her. Maybe he really had… even though he felt it was his only choice.
He thought of the other vampires he knew who had been capable of glamouring. Killed. Both killed. He would have to hope that these were safer times and that Hunter's vision was fixed by having let things evolve as he'd seen them.
"She will be safe and come back," Eric said hoarsely. It wasn't a question.
Hunter looked up at him through his tears and nodded. "She will, Uncle Eric. And she will be happy again. Honestly, she has every right to blame me not you. Because I saw it. I knew it. I knew she'd be turned," he said in a whisper. "I knew it for years. And I thought it was much better than losing her. I already lost my mother once. I wasn't going to lose her, too. This was a way to keep her."