AN: I know it's been forever. And I always thought I'd never say that but I was just too busy with life. This idea came to me only tonight and started to write it down immeadiately. I also decided to leave the chronological order behind me and jump a few months forward. I plan on coming back to the rest later. Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own House. Quotes are from 1x17. I borrowed them and I don't get money. Lyrics belong to Theory of a Deadman and their song 'Say I'm Sorry'. I don't know if it makes really sense but it kind of inspired me.
Maybe when I leave
I'll lead a life less empty
Maybe we were waiting way too long
To end this soap opera story.
A part of her wanted to laugh when she heard his speech. A part of her wanted to cry. This didn't surprise her. After all, wasn't it always like this with him? She didn't stay any longer than absolutely necessary before she quickly made her escape and drove home. Nobody really had the chance to talk to her (not that anybody really wanted to – they were just too shocked right now) so she simply disappeared into the night. That had always been her speciality after all – even when she was a kid. Little Allison had been close to perfect in fitting in and not drawing the attention of those around her towards her if she didn't want to. Her mother sometimes used to tell people that she could almost be invisible if she wanted to. A smile tugged around the corners of her lips. Good she hadn't lost that ability when she got older. Truth was, she didn't want to talk to anyone because that might change her mind. Her choice was already made. She had written her letter of resignation only a few days ago, just in case. In fact, she'd already started looking for a new job, just in case. Obviously not a bad decision. She sighed. The streets were wet from the rain that had fallen down earlier. The sky was clouded, there weren't any stars. Not that you could usually see them; the city lights were just too bright. Cameron was still debating whether or not she should say good-bye to House in person. Maybe it would be better if she just disappeared. After all, if she had to say goodbye now, she didn't now if she could stand it. She'd probably break down and cry in front of him. Embarrassing. Even pathetic. But still true.
A few hours later, she was standing in front of his door. She heard low piano music coming from the inside. It took several tries and all her courage till she finally had the strength to knock. The door swung open only seconds later. He wasn't pleased to see her, she could tell that. Probably had hoped, he could escape everybody until tomorrow. She took a look around and liked what she was seeing. The apartment seemed comfortable enough. At least the living room. "I'm sorry. I should've taken an extra couple of Vicodin and just held my nose." "I'm guessing you did take a couple extra Vicodin." "True." He admitted. She laughed quietly before she collected herself again. "You don't need to worry about firing anyone. I'm leaving." God, she hoped that sounded firmer than she felt. "Why?" She looked away as he slowly came closer. "Is this another noble, self-sacrificing gesture? Are you trying to protect Foreman?" He questioned her. "No." Of course not. She wasn't THAT stupid. Just stupid enough to fall for her boss. "So this is just, ''Don't fire me. I quit''?" He just couldn't let it go, naturally. "I'm protecting myself." She told him. He obviously hadn't expected that. Looked quite stunned for a man who seemed to know everything. "You asked me why I like you. You're abrasive and rude. But I figured everything you do, you do it to help people. But I was wrong. You do it because it's right." He still looked at her like he couldn't believe it. But she had to go on. Otherwise she'd never get it out. She felt how the tears started to burn in her eyes and raised her hand. He simply looked down, avoiding her gaze, not taking her hand. Her fingers started to tremble and she tried to blink the tears that were so close to falling now away. She pulled her hand back and swallowed hard. "There are only two ways that I can deal with things. One is in my control. That's too leave." He still wouldn't look her in the eyes but she could tell he was breathing hard. "Goodbye House." She wispered. She knew he wasn't going to say anything else and she simply couldn't take it any longer. So she turned around and left, like she'd said. She thought, it was goodbye forever and she thought it was probably good that way. She would only hurt if she ever saw him again. After all, it wasn't like she hadn't done this whole thing before. Pack your bags, leave. No big deal.
Maybe if she left now, as long as she wasn't in too deep she had a chance. Maybe it was time to end the whole flirting with their eyes thing before it was too late for her to get out of it. Maybe if she left she could find someone else who loved her and healed her. She snorted. Hadn't she thought that before? Life was kind of ironic after all. She had run here to move on. And now she was running from here to move on. Story of her life. Cameron shrugged. She'd live.