Chapter 2- "Greedy"

"Week 6" I wrote in my journal, "WT said he would go hunting but he didn't do that, no, he lied to me. Yes, he lied to me. I've been starving for some of the chickens we have on the island but he hasn't gone to do it yet, no, we're all starving. Yeah, we're all starving....ALL STARVING!"

I put my journal away. WT was farming crops and vegetables. The piece of shit was supposed to go hunting! I'm starving my ass off for days because all I've eaten is nothing but mangoes, grapes, something orange and brown that was prickly that I call, Kennysop and just more exotic fruits. I wanted meat now and trust me they all would pay a price for letting me be off a meat for so long. I was so damn hungry!

I began eating a Kennysop when WT walked over. "I'm goin' huntin' today, the weather is good so I'll get to killin' those chickens."

I sighed angerily. "You said...YOU SAID you'd do it two weeks ago! I'm tired of eating Kennysop and mangoes all the time!"

WT got his spear. "Well, I'm goin' now. Shucks, Cartman. Aren't you ever patient?"

Wendy shook her head. "You haven't known him long enough...be warned..."

I threw a Kennysop at Wendy. She glared as I smiled innocently. I was just playing with her, she takes things so seriously. Wendy went back to the hut to fix it after the big storm we had a couple nights ago. She seemed so into the interior decorating that I just let her do it anyway she wanted. No wonder, it turned into a girly house. I should've done some of it, damn it! WT always laughed at it too, and his kept falling down every few days.

I looked more closely at the Kennysop. It turned into Kenny's head and began laughing. I shook my head and then it turned back into a Kennysop again. Man, it must be the stupid sun making me see shit! Why did I name it after Kenny? Oh yeah, I got in a huge fight with him before I left because I shit in his bed, broke his TV, and ate all his Mcdonalds. Ey! Stop telling me that Kenny doesn't deserve it! He does and he's got to man up, he dies too easily!

Wendy looked at me weird. "Cartman, the Kennysop is not Kenny. Man, you're crazier than I thought."

I glared. "I'm not crazay, bitch! Wendy, go fetch me some more Kennysops! Now!"

Wendy sighed. "I think you're eating too many. We should save the Kennysops, I don't think anyone has discovered this kind of fruit yet."

"I'll eat as much Kennysops as I want. Now, go get me more!"

WT came back with a cage full of roast chicken. "There you go, Cartman. I killed and roasted them but we only--"

I began eating the chicken. Mmmm....Chicken... It was so good to eat again! I didn't realize I was on the second big chicken and I tore up that one until we were on the last roast chicken. Wendy and WT looked at each other in shock as I looked at the last chicken in a hungry way. Wendy took her guard and WT was ready to jump for it. I could tell that they were starving. I jumped on the chicken and guarded it. I deserved the last piece, I'd live the longest anyway. They needed to feed me more.

WT growled. "Goshdang, Cartman! I killed five of those things and you ate four of 'em?"

I scoffed. "Pfff...Yeah. You guys waited too late to feed me. Serves both of you right."

WT sighed. "Well, Wendy. Looks like I'll have to go huntin' tomorrow mornin' again."

Wendy couldn't believe it. "That....That....Fatass ate our food?!?! Cartman, that was supposed--"

I yelled at Wendy. "I'll do whateva I want! If you're so high and mighty, go kill a boar, Wendy!"

Wendy stopped stiff. "If I do it....WT and I get eight-five percent of the kill. You get fifteen. Deal?"

Ey! That's not fair but she's on. I want to see her kill a boar because we saw five of them the other day. They're hard to kill, I'd love to see her try. Yeah! I would! She's probably going to hurt herself and that's fine. I haven't been able to torture anyone else lately, so, I guess I have to settle for this. Wendy decided to try in three days to kill a boar. I still laughed so hard, she was going to kill herself and it would make me so happy to see that. That damn, bitch! She thought she could do it all and that was starting to bug me! I had the worst plan ever and that was steal the boar meat during the night and eat ALL of it! Yeaaaah!

I looked at Wendy. "Sorray, Wendy. I changed my mind...The Boar meat is now eighty-five percent mine!"

Wendy glared. "WHAT?!?! You fat piece of fucking lard! You would do that! You just want to see me suffer, right?!?!"

WT glared. "Cartman! That ain't right! You ate off all my chickens, you need to share with us!"

I turned away. "NO! I told myself I would be the last survivor! I'm tired of eating Kennysop all the time!"

WT grabbed me and looked at me. "You listen here, Cartman! We're all in this mess together, that mean we do things like a democracy!"

I began laughing. Eric Theordore Cartman doesn't do democracy! He does dictatorship and....and...Um, what's the other forms of government that involves one person? Whateva....I like having all the control. I hate democracy! It shouldn't be like that. This is an island, it should be every man for theirselves! It always goes wrong when people want to work together. Sure, it doesn't look that way now but Wendy could snap and WT could be roasting in the fire! Even I'm in danger too if she snaps or WT decides to get his "Southern blood" going! We were fine now but you never know what could happen next.

Wendy shook her head. "I'm not killing the boar anymore. Something tells me you'll eat it all because you're so damn greedy!"

I glared. "I'm not greedy! I just...just...need more that other people do! I just like having things--"

Wendy mocked me. "I'm Eric Cartman, I love to rip my friends off, be a jerk, and sit on my lazy ass all day with cheesy poofs!"

I looked back stiffly at Wendy. "What did YOU just say, Wendy?!?! Say it again!"

Wendy walked away. "Oh, I said nothing. Whatever, Cartman."

I sat on a rock as I saw my suitcase wash ashore. MY CELLPHONE! Oh my god, we're saved! We're saved! I ripped open my suitcase to see that my cellophone was safe from harm. It still worked too! I decided to call Kenny...Ey! I'm not going call Kyle or Stan! No way! I'll Kenny because he might be worried about me, I hope. I kind of burned too many bridges with Kenny...I don't care! I'm calling him!

I dialed my cellphone. "Come on, Kenny...Pick up...pick up....Come on, Kenny! Is looking at that porn magazine that important?!?!"

Finally, I got through to Kenny. "......................Hello...............Who the fuck is this?"

I got so excited. "Kenny! It's Cartman, you've got to help me......I got stuck on an island......I don't where I am and.....and....I need your help.....Kenny! PLEASE?"

Kenny went silent then he spoke. "Umm....You've been gone for six weeks, dude. Did your fatass destroy the plane?"

I growled. "No shit, Kenny! It's not my fault, it's Wendy's! Now, you need to send a rescue helicopter and more food--"

Kenny sounded angry. "You ate my food, you fatass! Man, you deserve what you got!"

I got pissed. "Yeah, and you deserve all the bad crap that happens to you because you're so poor! Kenny, just help me!"

Kenny sighed. "I expect a big reward this time....You owe me...."

I hated owing people. "Fine....How about I be your slave for three weeks, deal?"

Kenny paused. "No way dude, that and fifty bucks! Deal?"

I couldn't believe Kenny! He was arguing with me! He was making this so hard for me! I knew why, it was because I was mean to him before I went on this vacation. Again, I burned too many bridges with Kenny all the time. I knew he'd be super pissed about the shit I put in his bed, he swore revenge after that and I never saw him like that before. He wanted some real revenge with me. I didn't care at all, he was poor and you know what Kenny deserved all of the bad stuff that happened to him. It's is fault and Kenny can sit in his own shit! Even if Kenny doesn't want to help me, we'll do fine without him!

I sighed long and hard. "Alright, you win. It's a deal. Just save me, ok? Don't save WT or Wendy. Just me!"

Kenny disagreed with me. "No way, we have to save everybody. It's only fair, dude. I don't want to be sued!"

Kenny was pissing me off. "FINE! We're off the coast of Malaysia or somewhere in Asia....I don't know...Please send help, Kenny......

Kenny sighed. "Let me talk to, Wendy. Since it's her fault, let me talk to her."

I growled. "SCREW YOU, KENNY! You fucking poor perverted nasty rat! I don't want them knowing!"

The receiver clicked. NOOOOOOOO! Kenny hung up on me! NOOOO! I dialed back Kenny's phone number and only got his voice-mail. Man! I was so stupid to burn another bridge with him again! I shouldn't have! Kenny could've saved us all! It didn't matter, he'd send help as soon as he got over all this. I promise he will, he just needed time. I knew he'd hold something against me, I guess he finally snapped this time. Well, he's starting to man up now. I give him credit for setting me straight but it isn't enough. Kenny has a lot more tests to pass before he impresses me.

Wendy ran over to me. "Hey, that's a cellphone! Cartman, call Stan! Call anyone! We can be rescued!"

I put the cellphone above her head. "I already called, Kenny. He said, he'll alert the authorities and--"

Wendy knew it was a lie. "Cartman, you're so mean to Kenny! He probably won't do it until a few days from now because he's pissed. I heard how you're negotiation went. He got mad."

I kicked the sand in Wendy's eyes. "Why are you taking Kenny's side?!?! You damn, bitch!"

Wendy wiped the sand out her eyes and began fighting me for the phone. She snapped, oh man she snapped. We rolled around and began cursing eachother out as Wendy punched my face and as I ripped her shirt at the side. We continued rolling until we reached the edge of the smalll hill near the ocean. Wendy kicked me off her, and ran for the phone as I jumped on her and grabbed the phone and taunted her. Wendy got me into a "mercy" postion as we battle for the phone. The thunder crashed across the sky as the wind began to pick up. We were getting a storm.

WT ran towards us. "Damage that phone and we'll never get off! Stop bitchin' and actin' up like wild bulls!"

Wendy and I continued fighting until we reached the end of the hill. I held the cellphone over the hill.

"Wendy. If you hit me again, I'm dropping this and I mean it!" I yelled. "Your choice, you friggin bitch!"

Wendy still fought me for the phone. "You damn selfish, pig! We need it to get off this island! Don't do this, Cartman!"

I laughed evily. "Ohhh, I wouldn't drop the phone....No, I would!" I still held the phone over the cliff.

Wendy jumped for the phone. "CARTMAN! Don't test me! Give me the phone and we'll call it even!"

I ignored orders and dropped the phone. "Oh, looks like we don't have any hope anymore. It's up to Kenny to save us now! He won't do shit now that he's pissed!"

Wendy looked over the edge to see the cellphone shattered into pieces. She let out a high pitched scream that shook the whole island as WT fell in the mud in disappointment. The thunder cracked as I forced Wendy to bow in front of me.

"Bow down to me, Wendy! I'm your god, now!"

Wendy began to cry. "Yes, you're my god, Cartman. You're my god!"

I laughed evilly as Wendy high pitched crying interrupted me. She ran into the hut and buried her face as she cried. I finally got to them now. I hope they know not mess with ERIC THEORDORE CARTMAN! I was their god now! I laughed and laughed until WT lost his nerve and hit me over the head with an empty keg barrel. I could tell that I basically made enemies now and it didn't matter to me. Cartman does what Cartman wants!

Trust me, all the hope we had was Kenny. I doubt he would come through.

Cartman is getting kind of evil, huh? That's Chapter 2. Please R&R.