"How can I help you?!"
The outcry of an overeager info-lady flied on Larxene's face before she could even open her mouth. She stared at her big silicone boobs and ever bigger fake smile and tried to answer that. Unfortunately it came out more like a great wince of pain.
"Is she quite alright?" info-lady asked worriedly from Axel, who had just appeared behind Larxene.
"She's alright", Axel smirked, "Except that she's a psycho and not used to smile"
"Yep, but he's going to need your hospital's help", Larxene continued, pointing at Axel, "Once I'm through with him"
Axel gurned, "In that case I'll come to see you in prison"
"You can't. You'll be in here with a wheelchair", Larxene smiled sweetly at him.
"I'd roll in. I simply couldn't miss the sight of you mining ore in chains"
"You read too much comics, twit. And let me just say that…"
"Umm… did you possible come here for a reason?" the info-lady asked unsurely, eyeing the arguing couple in front of her.
"Oh sure", Larxene said, and then turned back to Axel, "Where did you put Marluxia?"
"He run away", Axel answered.
"What!" Larxene shouted, "You couldn't keep him in order for one second?!"
"Well excuse me! He's in panic, and I don't blame him", Axel said, pissed off, "I bet he's scared of these examinations he knows nothing about-"
"Fine, fine, so where did this 'poor thing' hide into?" Larxene asked.
"In the bathroom I think"
"I see", the info-lady interrupted, "So is it your kid's first time in physical?"
Both Axel and Larxene stared at her in dead-silence for couple of seconds, before bursting into hard laughter.
"Y-y-y- you thought that we're parents?" Axel guffawed, "T-t-t-t- that we're COUPLE?"
"Well, yes, sort of I…" info-lady muttered, abashed.
"You actually thought that I would have a baby with HIM?" Larxene coughed amongst her laughter, "I'd rather die!"
"And in fact she already did!" Axel continued, whipping tears from his eyes, "And I did too! And here we are now, and you think we're MARRIED!"
The info-lady gazed at these two maniacs rolling on the floor, deeply wondering if she should send them to the mental health section right away. Finally Larxene got herself back together, stood up and kicked Axel, who was still lying down in front of the desk.
"Get up, lazy bum, and let's go get Marluxia so we can get hell outta here as soon as possible"
The info-lady watched those two draw away.
"Maybe I should take a day off", she mumbled to herself.
When Vexen opened his eyes again, he was no longer in his lab. He was lying on the soft bed and the only thing he could see was a bright white light all around him.
I died and got to the Heaven, he thought, away from those idiots who try to allege that Marluxia is… would be… oh God… for ME. That's not possible. We're both MEN.
"How nice of you to join us, Vexy" a cheerful voice said.
Vexen trembled. He knew that voice all too well. But it was still all white.
"Vexyy, Vexyy, time to wake up!"
"Give'im a break, dude. He'd had a great shock lately"
Vexen trembled more. Not that voice again. He wanted to get away from them. He wanted to see Marluxia and talk with him property. Clear all these things up. Hear him saying, that it wasn't true. It had to be some kind of sick joke. Vexen didn't want to be father. Especially with someone, whose father was also Marluxia.
"But he has to wake up sometimes. I wanna hear how he did that thing and put that baby into Marly-"
"He's not telling, and even if he did, you're not gonna listen to it. I don't wish you to do it to me"
"Aww, but Zexy…"
Vexen couldn't take it anymore, and so he opened his eyes. Bright white walls surrounded him, filled with drawings and sketches, and it made his eyes itch. Right next to the bed he was lying on sat Demyx and Zexion. Behind them were Xigbar and Xaldin, and a little farther away were Naminé and Roxas sitting on Naminé's desk.
"What the heck am I doing here?" Vexen asked.
"Sleeping", Demyx said matter-of-factly.
"You passed out", Xaldin reported like it was some sort of big news.
"And we brought ya 'ere", Xigbar continued, "Naminé's room was a closest thing around"
"Did you have to bring these two too?" Vexen snorted, pointing at the couple in front of him.
"Now that's just plain rude", Demyx said, however smiling, "We just wanted to congratulate the future father", he reached his hand.
Vexen just stared at him in horror, "So the whole castle knows?"
"How are you gonna name it?" Roxas asked. Vexen looked at him like he was some kind of criminal.
"Name?" he croaked.
"Usually babies have names, dude", Xigbar said.
"Could you call it Demyx?" Demyx asked hopefully.
"Could be a little confusing if there was two Demyxs in the castle", Zexion pointed out, "Besides there's only one Dem-Dem"
"In the castle…" Vexen started.
"You two get a room!" Xigbar yelled.
Vexen stared at Zexion's hand, which was stroking Demyx's sticky hair. The same kind of thing Marluxia had done to him… only one time, and it now had turned out to be a total disaster.
"I have to see Marluxia", Vexen said suddenly.
"Oh, you miss him so soon?" Xaldin asked, "I don't know if I can take more than one lovebirds-couple in this place"
"I agree. They have to take days, y'know", Xigbar said, "Demyx and Zexion are allowed to make out on Mondays, Marluxia and Vexen…"
"I am NOT missing Marluxia!" Vexen shouted, feeling the heat on his neck, "And we're not a couple!"
"Well, you sort of still are going to have a baby, dude", Xigbar noted.
"Larxene and Axel took Marluxia to the hospital", Naminé engaged, "I'm sure they're gonna be back soon", she stood up and walked to Vexen, reaching one of her drawings, "Look, I sketched how that baby could look like… if it had both or yours features"
Vexen could only open and close his mouth like golden fish. In front of his eyes was a picture of a little boy with pink hair and green eyes, holding a rose in his hand. Next to it was obviously a picture of Vexen and Marluxia, smiling to each others and holding hands.
Vexen felt his cheeks turning red, "Wait!" he suddenly roared and everybody startled, "Why are all of you acting like we would be actually keeping that baby here in the castle!?"
"Of course we are!" Demyx said, looking surprised, "Look, I've planned it all out. Zexy and I'll be the godparents. And you could call it…"
"I won't be calling it by any name!" Vexen shouted, looking distressed, "We're not keeping it, you get it? You think I could be a good parent for a kid? Not to mention Marluxia!"
"That's exactly why Superior wanted to whole Organization to know", Roxas said, "So we could help you guys out"
"No, no, no! Try to understand, we're not having it here! I can't! And I don't even want to!"
"What else could we do with it?" Naminé asked, shocked.
"I don't know! I don't care!" Vexen jumped up from the bed, "We'll give it away somewhere. Or you will. I don't want to have anything to do with it!"
"It's your child!" Demyx said pure horror in his eyes.
"It was an accident!" Vexen said, "Unwanted!"
"Marluxia might want it", Zexion pointed out.
"I don't care what he wants!" Vexen said, rushing to the door, "I want to be in my lab, alone, like always! I don't want to see Marluxia or that so called baby of ours!"
He slammed the door shut behind him, leaving a shaken silence behind him.
"Marluxia, come out from there!" Larxene shouted, hacking the bathroom's door.
"No!" Marluxia cried back, "I- I'm sure that baby is perfectly alright!"
"Listen, fruit, you'll come out or you'll regret it deeply!" Larxene threatened, attracting attentions in the lobby.
"Boy, you sure know how to handle our son", Axel smirked, leaning to the wall.
"Will you shut your face already", Larxene muttered bitterly, "I'm bloody sure you can make him come out better"
"Marluxia, it's just a basic examination", Axel tried.
"In which no one can tell what they're gonna do to me!" Marluxia answered, "How do I know if they're gonna cut off my… you know"
"If you won't coma out right now, I'm gonna cut them personally with my very own kunais", Larxene snarled, "Don't be such a sissy"
"After I burn this door down", Axel added.
"Nice one", Larxene said.
"You wouldn't" Marluxia whispered from the other side.
"And you wouldn't wanna try me, got it memorized?" Axel smirked, "Okay, I count to three… onetwothree BURN BABY!"
"NO WAIT!" Marluxia stormed out of the toilet to the middle of amazed viewers.
"Look mommy!" a little boy cried out, "That man just had fire in his hands!"
"Keep it down will you, red-head" Larxene scowled, and then turned to a very pale and scared-looking Marluxia, "And you idiot have done enough trouble for the day. You have your flower-power and a twice metric pink scythe if they're trying something you don't like. What are you so afraid of anyway?"
Marluxia gave her a very serious look. Then he sputtered:
"What if it's not alright? What… what if there's something wrong with my baby?"
Neither Axel nor Larxene could think anything to answer, and so they walked in silence to the desk once more.
The info-lady saw those two loons approaching with some third pink-haired guy, she prepared for anything.
"Okay, so this guy needs to have his foetus pictured", Larxene said after arriving to the desk.
Okay, for almost anything.
"Umm… his WHAT?"
"You know, foetus. Geez, that thing that later turns out to be baby", Larxene clarified, annoyed.
"This man's pregnant", Axel said, pointing at Marluxia who still seemed to be lost from words, "And we have to check if that baby's okay and all"
Suddenly the info-lady started to look around wildly while smiling brightly.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Larxene asked with wide eyes.
"Where is the camera hided?" The lady asked.
"We don't know, you should", Axel said, taken aback, "You're supposed to picture his foetus with it now"
"Very funny", info-lady smiled, "But I mean your candid camera. I want to get my better half to the sight-"
"Listen, bitch!" Larxene barked, banging the table with her fist so it almost broke down, "I'm sicking tired of you contradicting! When we say that this queer is pregnant, then he bloody is, and when we say that we want to have his foetus pictured, then we want it bloody right away! So you better take him to the examination now, do to him whatever is needed to be done, and you better not hurt him or I'll kill you all with the electric shocks and this stupid thing next to me will burn the whole hospital! And I want some action! NOW!"
This rocked the info-lady, who immediately pushed a heap of papers to Marluxia's hands.
"Please fill these forms, sir, and follow me", she said and practically ran to the backroom.
"Thank you, Larx", Marluxia muttered, "What would I do without a best friend like you?" And he followed the lady and disappeared.
Leaving Axel and Larxene to complete silence. Every single pair of eyes in the lobby was turned to them.
Axel shrugged, "I think Xigbar was right. You'd make a hell of lovely mother"
"Why is everybody mentioning that now?" Larxene asked, aiming to the free chairs near the door, "It's not like you'd want to make a kid with me, right?"
"No", Axel said, a bit too quickly to make Larxene completely relax.
"It's been an hour already", Larxene cursed, "What are they bloody doing there?"
"Having a heart attack when they see that there actually is a baby inside Marluxia?" Axel suggested.
"Why must everybody make such a racket about it", Larxene said, frustrated, "Weird things happen. And after that bimbo thought you and I had a child, I'm not surprised of anything"
Axel laughed, "That was a bit odd"
"A bit?" Larxene said, "It was absurd! I wouldn't want a baby over my dead body!"
"Me neither", Axel nodded. Then we wondered for a moment, "You think Marluxia wants this kid?"
"I think that even if he doesn't show it, he's in the seventh heaven", Larxene said, "I hardly believe Vexen will be overjoyed"
"Think he'll even accept?"
"He'd better. No one is having Marluxia as some worthless one night stand without paying for it"
Axel laughed, surprised, "It almost sounds like you cared"
Larxene shot him a glare, "A secret you better not tell anyone. But Marluxia is crazy for Vexen, everybody knows that"
"Some people are so transparent", Axel said, "Like Demyx and Zexion were before they started officially dating"
"Not to mention Mansex, who still thinks that no one knows what he's doing with Saix when they're alone in his office", Larxene added.
"And Xigbar…" Axel continued.
"Xigbar's head over heels for somebody?" Larxene raised her eyebrows, "That's new for me. Who?"
"He's not THAT transparent", Axel said, "I haven't yet found out who it is"
"We're living the soap opera", Larxene noted, rolling her eyes.
Right then Marluxia ran from the backroom, holding some papers. His eyes were full of tears.
"What's going on?" Axel and Larxene asked unison, jumping up from their chairs.
"Look! Pictures of my baby", Marluxia cried, reaching the ultrasound pictures, "Of me and Vexen's baby! And it's all right!" tears were rolling across his smiling cheeks, "My baby is perfectly all right!"
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Next time, how Marly will react to Vexen's involuntary?
Comment, please!3