A/N: Zomg, Balthier's at it again…his tricks ways. Oh noes, what will happen to poor Vaan?
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the final fantasy dudes…I haven't even gotten through the whole game yet.
Fran tried to ignore the sounds coming out of the bathroom. Her sensitive viera ears could pick up every word and every sound the two humes made. And Fran disliked most of what she heard.
Suddenly, Vaan started screaming pretty loudly so that everyone could hear him, but only Fran could make out what it was that Vaan was screaming. Fran sighed unhappily.
Penelo dashed into the room. "Hey,d oes anyone one know who's making that racket?"
"Balthier is making sure that Vaan has been bathed," Fran said dryly.
Penelo giggled. "Vaan's getting a bath? That's sooo hilarious."
Ashe looked thoughtful. Fran could almost see her thought process. If Balthier was busy, she could sneak out.
"Do you not want to see if Vaan is a hume under his layers of dust?" Fran asked.
Ashe sighed heavily. "I suppose so."
Fran nodded and tried to continue the conversation with Ashe that was becoming increasingly difficult for her to concentrate on.
Fran suddenly stopped in a middle of one of her sentences. Her sensitive ears had picked up some disconcerting words from Balthier. "Hey, Vaan, I seem to have dropped the soap. Mind picking it up for me?"
Fran groaned as she reached up and flattened her ears against the side of her head in an effort to block out the resulting sounds of hume love-making.
"Fran, what's wrong?" Ashe asked.
Fran gritted her teeth. "Will he never leave that boy alone?" she growled.
Ashe nodded sympathetically. "Yes, Balthier does seem fond of teasing Vaan. Well, I guess Vaan deserves it sometimes."
Fran looked at the princess and decided to tell her nothing. She would never look at Balthier the same way, but it was better that princess Ashe was not scarred as well.
After a few minutes, the sound stopped and Fran uncovered her ears.
Fran sighed. "I will never forget the horrible things humes will do to each other during fornication."
"What, getting pregnant?" Penelo asked.
"No, the very act of it," Fran said, tossing her head.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Balthier and Vaan, both clad only in towels tiptoeing past the room. Balthier winked at her and put his finger to his lips. Fran pursed her lips and said nothing.
"But…don't vieras do the same thing?" Penelo asked in confusion.
"Have you ever seen a male viera?" Fran asked pointedly.
Penelo thought about it. "No…I haven't."
"Have you also ever seen a viera child?"
"No…"
"That is because there are no viera children" Fran said firmly. "Out of all the vieras that we have seen, some may have been younger than you, but much wiser in the way of the wood."
Ashe frowned. "Fran, I don't believe it."
"That is because it is not true. There weren't any viera there younger than you. Besides, our birth process takes up nigh twenty years."
Ashe started and Penelo gasped. "No way!"
"It is true," Fran said calmly. "That is why we are all in our adult bodies as soon as we are born. We have no need for the stages of childhood."
"But how is that possible?" Ashe spluttered. "I mean, birth doesn't take that long. It would be as if you grew or something."
"Perhaps," Fran said calmly.
Penelo gasped again. "You grow out of the ground?"
"The trees," Fran corrected.
"So, then you're made of wood?"
"Do not forget, the forest is a living thing." Fran settled back with an amused twist to her mouth as the two hume girls stared at her.