A/N: All I'm gonna say about this chapter is that MY GIRLFRIEND MADE ME WRITE IT THIS WAY OR ELSE NO HEAD EVER AGAIN!!!!!! So please direct all hate mail towards her. I'm gonna hide behind the rock.

Beta'd by Scouse aka my girlfriend!

Rating NC-17

Chapter 4

Standing facing the mirror, I'm dressed in a white gown that is almost see through. My hands are sweaty and I can't stop shaking. To make it worse, I think I'm gonna throw up too. I so don't want to be here right now. Please God, save me.

"Spencer honey, come in here." No! No! No! "It's time" His cheery voice is only making my jitters worse.

Holding back my tears, I slowly make my way into the bedroom. Norman is sitting on the bed smiling at me. He's wearing white also. Patting the spot beside him on the bed, he motions for me to join him.

Knowing better then to disobey, I take the available spot on the bed beside him.

"You are so beautiful" Rough cold hands brush my hair behind me. I look at him for a moment hoping that I can convince him to call off the whole thing with my eyes. He doesn't care though. He has me exactly where he wants me. "Tonight is a very special night for us, Spencer" His fingers run down to my shoulders grasping them tightly before kissing my forehead. I stiffen at the touch. Please make this stop, I wish over and over again in my head.

Pulling away from me, I watch his eyes travel my whole body. " Move up by the pillows and lay down." He whispers into my ear. I glance at the door briefly wondering if I can make my escape. It's pointless though cause I have nowhere to run. I'm stuck.

Doing as a good Mormon wife would, I obey. I lay on top of the sheets with my head on the pillow. Arms at my side and legs straight, I am scared stiff. My gown no longer hiding my curves and such, it now provides a silhouette of me. Slight dipping of the bed causes me to advert my eyes to him. He's changed his position now. Norman is still sitting but facing the headboard instead.

"Beautiful" he whispers again before leaning down and pressing a kiss to my lips. It's rough and hard. I can feel him trying to force his tongue into my mouth. I however do not allow it. Keeping my mouth clamped shut, I try to not think about what is happening. Until I feel him shift lower down on me. Older lips trace down my neck and I flinch at every nip.

A cold hand covers my breast causing me to gasp at the shock. No one has ever touched them except me and that was only to wash them. My husband takes it as a sound of enjoyment and continues his movements. A single tear escapes unseen as he squeezes, twists, and pinches my nipple.

Someone please make it stop.

As if someone was listening, he pulls away from me but my relief is short lived.

" I want to see all of you." With that one statement all the color is drained from my face.

"Please n….."

Cutting me off "It's your duty as my wife to submit to me in every way. Now remove your gown" the last part was a demand not a statement.

Giving up since there is nothing else I can do, I stand up from the bed and remove my gown and reveal my body to my husband. Cold grey eyes on me the entire time. Those eyes rake over my body drinking me in completely. I've never felt so dirty in my life. I attempt to cover myself in shame.

The prophet moves to sit on the edge of the bed again in front of me. "Come here"

Once again I obey. I walk in almost touching distance. " Come here" this time he points to between his legs. Taking a big gulp, I take the last couple of steps. " Drop your hands. No covering yourself."

A few rouge tears escape once again as fingers trace down me. The further south they go the more I want to scream and run. Without even realizing what he was doing, I felt his mouth on my breast. Norman wraps his hand around me pulling me closer into him. Squeezing my butt, I hold back the gasp to keep him from doing it again. " Lay back down. I want to truly feel you."

Like a robot, I do as I am told. This time he stands up and removes his own clothes. Closing my eyes, I refuse to look at him. Norman pays no mind and crawls on top of me. Skin to skin, his body pressed into mine and he tells me to relax. That I will enjoy this. Somehow I doubt it. I can feel him wiggling his way between my legs. His penis hard already. The older man goes in for another kiss. This time however, I turn my head to the side and he gets my cheek.

Grabbing a hold of my face, he forces me to look at him. "I want to see your face"

Ripping, burning, and pain fills my body. It causes me to lose my breath instantly. Tears pool in my eyes. I want it to stop. The urge to scream is over powering. I let loose a blood curdling scream. Paying me no interest, Norman thrusts into me over and over again. Each time harder then the next. Speed picking up with every second that goes by. I pray for it to end fast.

Heavy panting and grunts come from above me until I hear a loud moan. He falls on top of me covered in sweat and breathing hard. I can hardly breathe with him on top of me. It seems like forever before he rolls off of me. When he finally does, he pulls me into his sweaty body and holds on tight.

"I love you" is whispered out from his lips. I say nothing.

Once his breathing evens out and I realize he is asleep, the tears flow easily and freely from me. All I want to do is crawl into the shower to clean myself of him.

Sleep never comes and I watch the clock count down the minutes till morning.

Rustling and movement on the bed next to me makes me close my eyes and pretend to be asleep. I definitely don't want a replay of last night. Never a word to me, he gets out of bed and moves around the bedroom. I still refuse to open my eyes and see however.

"Spencer" its whispered into my ear. I can smell him next to me. "I've got to go attend to church business. I left you a note" He kisses me again, and it takes every ounce of me not to flinch. "Love you, my beautiful new wife" Lifting the sheet up, I feel a cool draft run down my nude body. Norman gave my body another once over before leaving.

A few minutes after the door closes behind him I'm up. The note he mentioned is on the nightstand. Grabbing the note, I wonder what he wrote. It's a to do list.

Spencer,

Clean the sheets. You made a mess. Once you are done with that clean the bathroom. You are my wife now and with that you live by my rules. I love you. One more thing before I forget. When you finish the sheets and bathroom, go see Rita. She will tell you what else you need to do today.

Norman

p.s: I hope last night was great for you too.

It was a nightmare. I hated every second of it.

Wondering how I made a mess last night, I look down at the sheets I'm laying in. They're stained red. Blood? Removing the sheet covering me, I see more dry blood on my inner thighs.

Not having any other choice, I get out of bed only to be met with a searing pain between my legs. Keeping my tears and pain inside, I work quickly pulling the sheets off the bed and onto the floor. I'll leave them in a pile on the floor for now. I decided I need a shower first. Luckily, the bathroom is attached to the bedroom, so I don't have far to go. Inside the bathroom, I realize why he said to clean it too. There is toothpaste in the sink, towels on the floor, and urine all around the toilet. Ignoring all of that, I turn the shower on.

Once the water is just right, I step in under the warm spray. The water cascading down my body and into the drain. Washing away all of his smell and touch from my body, I scrub until I'm red all over. Thirty minutes pass and with it goes the hot water before I get out of the shower.

Finally dried off and dressed, I get to work cleaning the bathroom. All the time gagging at the smell. Finishing the bathroom finally, I grab the sheets and head downstairs to the wash. All the other wives are sitting at the table talking.

"Excuse me, where is the washer?" I interrupt them briefly.

"I'll take care of these. You have a seat dear." Susan gets up and takes the sheets from me before disappearing somewhere through the kitchen.

"Welcome to our family Spencer. I'm Rita incase you don't remember." So Rita is the alpha wife as I've named her.

"Thanks. I was told I needed to see you for things to do." Everyone giggles except for me.

"Just relax. There are so many of us that it takes no time at all to complete the house work, and we are already finished today."

"I'll show you around" A raspy voice draws my complete attention. It's Ashley

"Okay. Thanks" A smile plays at my lips for the first time today.

A hand extends in front of me and for the first time since my wedding I take the offered hand willingly. The spark has turned into bolts of lightening.

After showing me all round the inside of the house, I'm lead outside to the barn. Ashley hasn't let go of my hand once.

"So this is the barn" She spins us around quickly. "And this is my secret place" I'm pulled to a small door behind the hay. Inside the small room is a couple of blankets, a lamp, and books and magazines that I've never seen or read before.

"No one else knows about this place" Her chocolate orbs beg me to keep her secret.

"I will never tell" Her smile erupts across her face. "Why did you show me though?"

"I thought you might want to talk more in private or just get away." I'm pulled over to the blankets. Don't think I haven't notice that Ashley hasn't let go of my hand once either.

"Tell me the truth Ashley. Does it get better?" She looks deeply into my eyes before answering.

"No" She takes a deep breath before going on and any hope I had is gone. "I cried for weeks after I married him. You where right last week at the picnic too. I did flinch. I still do whenever he touches me. It doesn't feel right." Ash wipes away a tear "I found this place about six months ago and started secretly collecting the books and magazines that you see."

I quickly skim over the titles. Seeing Redbook, Seventeen, and US weekly for the magazines. The books way out numbered the magazines. Titles I've never seen or heard about before. Like the Outsiders, To Kill A Mocking Bird, and The Shinning. There where so many more that it would take me all day to go through them.

"This is what I'm reading now" The book she hands over is called Lessons. As I go to flip it over to see what it is about Ashley takes it from me.

" I just wanted to see what it was about"

Holding the book close to her "I know but not yet. Okay?" I nod my agreement. I have never wanted to know what a book was about so bad in my life. "You can read one of the others if you want."

"Maybe later. I want to talk with you more" The smile is back that I love. "What are the others like?"

"They're nice for the most part. A couple of them look down on me because I don't have any children" She bites her lip "I can't have kids. I don't think my mom told him."

"Where is your mom?"

"You met her already. She is his seventh wife Debbie" She takes a deep breath before continuing. "He married my mom after my dad was excommunicated from the church."

"They took my brother away" I try to show understanding in that I know where she is coming from. "I miss him so much. He told me he was going to take me away from this place once."

"I miss my dad too, but he never spoke of taking me away." Nervousness overcomes Ashley's face "Can I ask you something personal?"

"I guess"

"Why do I feel like so comfortable with you and why do I have the need to go out of my way to touch you?" A small sign of panic arises in her eyes at that last part.

"I don't know, and I feel the same way." I squeeze her hand "We'll figure it out together"

I hated writing the first part of this chapter very much too