::Take It Like A Traitor::

Day One:

The more I think about that psycho angel, the more I realize I'm not too different.

Just as he'd only ever tried to make his sister happy (only to have her hate him) Seles was the same with me. Both Yggdrasill and I had a sister that we would split worlds for, and yet they repay us by hating our guts.

The only difference was that HE'D had over four thousand years of mulling over his loss to drive him insane. I was sure that if I was given the same amount of time, I'd end up like that creeper, too.

Anyways, unlike anyone might think, I was well aware of what I was doing. It was just the risk and the 'what-if's that made me grind my teeth in anxiety.

We stayed with that old dwarf, Altessa, and his weird doll named Tabatha. We weren't doing much, aside from preparing for the next (and hopefully last) big battle in Cruxis. I couldn't help but watch the group with a sick feeling in my gut. Seeing them all talk, eat, smile… it hurt to think of what might happen to all of that. I may take away their chatter, their smiles, their laughter, but the one thing I /refused/ to take from them was their existence. If anyone was to lose their life, I would make sure it would only be a life that would benefit others by being lost:

My own.

I guess that's a bit shallow. Background, anyone?

When I was a kid, my parents' marriage was arranged; forced; fake. (Though I was too naive to realize it back then…) They sure as Beast didn't love each other. They had to get married so they could give birth to the Chosen of their world: Me. Zelos Wilder. But, of course, my pop was too high-and-mighty to stay loyal to mother, especially since she was an elf (the lowest race on society's totem pole, as Tethe'alla sees it.). So dad got himself a mistress. Thus, Seles was born. Yep. My accidental affair-conceived sister. She had to be sent to a monastery and kept in secret, so the whole 'Chosen' ordeal wouldn't be offset. Father's mistress didn't like that. At all. So one day, while ma and I were out playing in the snow, the mistress used mana to attack me with some sort of spell. Mom got caught in the crossfire trying to protect me, and…well… it's been over 15 years. (an' still missin you, mommy…)

We'll just say I've been workin' my Wahoo off to earn Seles' acceptance ever since then, since she's the only blood family I have left.

The reason I explain all that is so it's explainable; my reason for saying I'd rather get rid of myself than anyone else. If I'm gone, Seles has all the room in the world to live the life she wants, not one hidden from the world. 'Sides, it wasn't like anyone would notice if I was gone, apart from realizing Sheena would be in a better mood, cause she wouldn't have to deal with all the pervy comments I'd make.

Speaking of those comments… have you ever had to flirt overkill-style with someone to cover up a crush on someone else? Not fun. Normally, I wouldn't feel the need to hide if I was into someone, but if the OTHERS knew I was crushing out on the Irving kid, he'd be the one who wouldn't be able to live it down. I don't wanna make the guy's life miserable, yknow? Hey, if he's got the same feeling, he'll say so. If not? …..Well… I wouldn't be surprised. Everyone's in love with the guy. He doesn't just have a branch to pick from. He's got the whole TREE.

Moving right back on topic:

So, I'd made a deal with the bad guys. Big deal. (Haha, pun.) The current situation? Pending plan of action:

I could pretend the deal with Mithos never happened, stay loyal to my friends, and probably put up a good fight until we're all struck down dead…

OR I could keep up the deal, betray my friends, and fish them into their dooms while I become no longer Chosen and live my life according to how Ichoose.

But…say I did have a choice. If I could live however I wanted… What would I do?

What do I want?