::Take It Like A Traitor::

Day Two:

I thought about it. A lot. To the point where I thought my whole brain would explode. But I'd come to a conclusion:

Sure, the last thing I want in life is to be the Chosen. But in order to get rid of my title, I'd have to go through with Yggdrasill's plan, and offer Lloyd and my friends up to him on a silver platter. After that: Poof! I'm no longer the Chosen and am free to do what I want, be who I want, and be WITH whomever I choose.

What do I want to do?

Fight for the world.

Who do I want to be?

A friend & member of the World Regenerators.

Who do I want to be WITH?

….Lloyd.

So in the end, I'd only end up helping Mithos out to have what I want, and in doing so, destroy the only thing I want? I don't think so. Catch my drift?

Lloyd and the others…

They're my family now, though I may not be to them. They might not always be there FOR me, but I am always allowed to be there with them.

So, say I decide to do the good guy thing and I remain loyal to my friends, all hunky-dory. But /then/ what? That Mithos-angel guy would KNOW if I didn't go through with the plans. And our group is NOT ready to fight that guy full-on.

I either lead them to their deaths, or I march WITH them to their deaths.

Tomorrow night, Mithos Yggdrasill expected me to put some sort of sleeping drug in everyone's food to knock them out so that he could steal Colette to swipe her soul and use her body as a vessel for his sister Martel's soul, or…some sort of voltin' messed up thing like that. If I didn't do that for him, and everyone woke up while he was kidnapping Colette, he'd unleash his complete power and destroy…well… pretty much the whole world.

I couldn't let that happen. I'd slip the stuff into their food. I'd let him take Colette. And I'd do everything in my shaken power to get her back without a single scratch on her cute little head.

It's a stupid rut to have gotten myself into, but it's not like I coulda said no to Mithos up front. He woulda gone crazy! So either way, I'm betraying and hurting my friends. But it's to save them. Their lives. And thus, the world itself.

They probably won't believe me if we make it through this. They'll probably shun and hate me afterwards. But that hope; that little silver lining telling me that they might still accept me after…that's what gave me the strength to continue on with it.

So, the day faded, dragging the sun down with it and making the atmosphere turn gray with dusk, and then the blunt nighttime.

I stood outside the old cabin of Altessa's, watching for stars that struggled to shine through the smoggy sky. I wanted to freeze it: the time we had left, the hazy moon in the sky… I gotta admit: I was scared. So I breathed in slowly, bathing my lungs in smooth, summer night air.

"….Zelos?"

I jumped and turned to see the spiky-haired brunette peeking out the door at me.

I smiled and turned away. Just what I needed: Some inspiring pep-talk to send me into even deeper guilt.

I kept my back to Lloyd and stuffed my hands deep in my pockets, figuring the rude gesture would drive the kid away. That backfired: My turning away only made him step outside and shut the door behind him with a gentle 'click'.

I tensed when the sound of his footsteps approached closer. I flinched when a cautious hand rested on my shoulder. And I turned away when a warm chocolate gaze tried to meet my guilty eyes.

"Nervous…?" his voice came calmly.

I chuckle-scoffed sarcastically, "You dunno the half of it…"

The sixteen-year-old sat on the ground, patting the spot beside him while looking up at me with expectant eyes.

I plopped down on the ground reluctantly next to him, and sighed. I didn't really feel like talking. Though, (aside from the guilt trip I'd get from it) I wouldn't at all mind just letting him talk, nonstop, and just listening. To his words. His tone. His message. His heart.

I leaned back a bit, propped up by my hands. I watched the dead sand and the silent forest a ways away. I didn't want to look at the sky. I waited, wishing it were any other circumstance I was under while bein beneath the stars with my bud.

Lloyd spoke up smoothly, "I…. I really think we can do this. We can win this thing together…!"

I harrumphed and kept my head down. Not that. Not now.

"It's not that easy, Bud…"

"I never said so. I just know that we've gone through too much to let this go now. To lose it. I believe in us."

…..Wow. The way he said those words... I loathed the fact that they weren't directed towards him and me alone. Naturally, he didn't see me that way.

"Hm…" I pulled my gloved down to scrunch around my wrists, feeling both feverish but chilly, "You're relying too much."

"Huh?" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the brunette sit up straight.

I watched the floor guiltily, "already, you've been betrayed so many times. Stabbed in the back. By Kratos, the renegades, your hometown, even Ygg—" I caught myself, then sighed, "Who says it's not happening again, right now, as we speak?"

Lloyd smiled, letting out a small breath and relaxing his shoulder, "All I know…is that what's happening NOW is where I have to be—where I gotta keep my head. Wholly. Completely. And besides, Zelos….."

I turned to look at him when he cut off. He placed a steady hand on my shoulder,

"…I trust you."

It was like a blanket over my shoulder. It was like a dagger in my heart. His faith in me…it put cement to my faith in myself. That what I was doing was right. That it would work out in the end. But it also hurt; he said it like he knew something, but that he was perfectly okay with it.

…could he let me go so easily?

He moved. Closer now; grip on my shoulder tightening. His face mere inches from my own, his sharp eyebrows furrowing determinedly as he scowled at me stubbornly.

"I /trust/ you….!" He shook my shoulders firmly. Damn, the kid was stronger than I'd guessed. Especially the strength of his gaze, searching me, digging into my eyes for some trace of a soul, "Tell me I'm right in doing so, Zelos…. I want to trust you…"

He was so close. I was so overwhelmed. And he was begging me for a sign of loyalty. With my head spinning like that, I didn't know what else to do…

I brought a hand up to hold the kids face still. Brushing my thumb across his thin lips, I leaned in slowly, carefully; intent on proving to him that he could believe in me. /Begging/ him to, when even I myself had shaken and questioned my faith. Everything seemed to dissolve around me. Eyes half-lidded, I went in to close off the space separating his lips from my own—

"….Zelos?"

I paused. Backed up. Looked.

He hadn't moved one inch, other than the look in his eyes morphing from stern concern to are-you-feelin-okay-cause-yer-actin-kinda-weird concern.

I looked away. Of course…heh…of course. The kid was sixteen. And sheltered. Like he'd have any idea that that's how someone goes in for a kiss…or that a dude would ever try it on him. And besides—

I stood, turning and walking back inside to lock myself away.

— like he'd want his pure love lowered to the level of my own. …Like he'd want his first kiss tainted by the lips of a traitor…