Many thanks to an awesome beta with strong affection for red mark ups in Word - hugs and kisses Ms. Fangs…
A special thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the first chapter, the Ki loves you too.
A warning, this story is going to be a deep, emotional journey...
Chapter 2 – Necessary Presence
"Spock."
It was Nyota's standard response. The way she said his name let him know she was cushioning the blow because he no longer held a place in her life. There was emphasis on the first two letters of his name and the rest were drowned out in the crushing effort it took for her to remain conscious in spite of the pain. It was soft and dripping with compassion in spite of her current condition. He regretted being forthcoming when she inquired about what was disturbing him. She was being polite and he wanted to bare his soul. It was true, he missed her, more than he would ever be able to express with mere words. Maybe if Nyota could walk around in his head, she would fully understand the emotions and fears that had forced him into that fateful decision in their final weeks together.
Spock had stopped 'stalking' Nyota after his conversation with Leonard McCoy. The doctor loved Nyota in a way that she had always wanted. More importantly she returned his affections. The time that they had spent romantically involved was over, but the reminder played over and over in his head like a broken record, and Spock couldn't help longing for the companionship he once shared with Nyota as her friend. He rose from his seat beside her bed.
"Let me call the nurse to get you something for the pain."
Nyota's hand shot up, grabbing the sleeve of his jacket. He understood her reaction immediately. She did not believe in pain medicine, for fear of addiction. Leonard McCoy's name crossed his mind,
And in a strange way- his own demise could be attributed to an addiction of another sort.
Sexual experiences had become a compulsion of sorts for them both. The curiosity ignited by discussions with his mentor Nero, sent him down a path with Christine; one he was desperately trying to end.
Nyota had spent her time as a single woman battling the demons of the past with other men, before deciding on something that could be described as celibacy. Clarity, a life of lucidity, that's what she had called it. Nyota had seen what alcohol and destructive actions had done to those closest to her – him included. What it had done to all of their lives. Spock closed his eyes, warring with him self.
Leonard McCoy's name crossed his mind again and he worked to stifle the tumult of thoughts and emotions threatening to overwhelm him. He needed to contact the man, and make him aware of Nyota's condition.
"What is Doctor McCoy's number? He should be here with you."
He watched as she clenched her teeth, fighting off another wave of pain before falling back into the bed. "Home. He should be home with Joanna.
Her hand dropped from his arm and he retreated to the hallway to make the call. Already his mind was clearing with distance between them.
When McCoy answered the phone, Spock could hear the question in his voice, but the doctor pushed aside his suspicions to pull any and all information regarding Nyota. The call ended abruptly. Spock had heard the doctor rushing around the apartment, tripping over furniture, gathering a bag of Nyota's things, and begging his daughter to hurry and tie her shoes. There was no doubt that his arrival would take place in record time.
Next, he allowed his fingers to scroll to the number for the museum. His call with Hikaru did not go as smoothly, but he knew another person she called friend would need to be here to support her. The man had asked if he was to blame for her injuries. Spock had growled a 'no' into the receiver with such emotion that it had caught the other man off guard and caused him to respond, "I always knew you were an animal. No one could be human and treat people the way you do." And Spock was silenced. He knew he deserved the man's reproach, but it didn't make it any easier to swallow.
He was about to dial the number to Pike's before remembering that Gaila and Jim were both out of the country on a belated honeymoon. And he contemplated calling her parents but didn't see a need in creating frenzy; he would leave that decision to Nyota. The doctor had discussed her condition with certain lightness earlier, so things did not appear to be too serious.
Spock rolled his head and shoulders, attempting to relieve the tension mounting in his upper body. The doctor was in front of him again; caressing his clipboard like his favorite lover. Spock's eyebrow lifted and he couldn't help but think about Nyota's amusement at the common motion. In the past, in happier times, they had been able to carry on an entire conversation with facial expressions and no words.
"Ms. Uhura's room is ready. I assume that you are her significant other." Before he had a chance to reply, another voice cut him off.
"No, that would be me." Leonard McCoy was standing directly behind the attending physician, eyes glazed in anger, and his hand gripping that of his daughter's. The little girl was all smiles and curiosity as she stared at Spock.
"McCoy…" The emergency room doctor warmly greeted his colleague. "This is the lady you keep talking about?" He pointed towards the room where Nyota lay.
"Yes Riley, what happened?" McCoy shot another icy glare in Spock's direction. "Did he-"
"No McCoy. Ms. Uhura was sideswiped by a delivery truck. Her car ran off the street into a lamp post."
Joanna released her father's grip and slid past the curtain into the room with Nyota; leaving a small opening that made her actions visible to everyone in the hall. Spock watched as the little girl climbed on the bed, cautiously touching Nyota's face and bandages. His heart hurt, watching their exchange. Even in pain, Nyota pushed past that to give McCoy's daughter the reassurance she needed that everything was going to okay. He envied the child that curled next to the woman on the bed. In another time, another place…and better decisions…Joanna could have been their child together…
The doctor's voice interrupted Spock's thoughts as he discussed Nyota's accident.
"The seatbelt saved her life. She would have gone through the windshield if not for the restraint." He clapped his fellow doctor's shoulder, "We're going to keep her overnight for observation. You can stay with her."
The doctor and his chart moved past Spock and down the hallway. The two men, one former lover and the current stood staring at each other in tense silence. After a long pause, it was McCoy who spoke first.
"I appreciate the call Spock." Leonard kept casting his eyes to watch the two girls that controlled his heart.
"You would have done the same." he replied flatly. Inwardly, jealousy, envy, and regret were swirling around his chest.
He turned to leave.
"Aren't you going to say goodbye?" The man's voice was gruff but held something that Spock detested- pity.
The reply was curt. And laced with bitterness he refused to control.
"Nyota has everything she needs. My presence is no longer necessary."