Chapter Five: Roar of the Avalanche

I'm still alive! Don't lose hope on me yet.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. It is property of Tite Kubo.

People were frail, mortal creatures made out of flesh and blood who lived in a world filled with threats of various sizes. A moment of inattention and recklessness could easily demolish their fragile bodily equilibrium to the point of no restoration.

Hospitals were places where people were sent when said equilibrium was damaged. They placed their trust in the hands of qualified medical staff to properly treat their injuries or cure a life-threatening disease. Hospitals were facilities dedicated entirely to the maintenance of human health, operated by professionals who wished only the well-being for their fellow men.

Neliel, however, did not perceive hospitals in such a warm light. Stating that she had bad memories from hospitals would be an understatement. Saying that she hated hospitals would be considered euphemism. Just being near such a building incited an uncomfortable feeling in her stomach she could barely suppress. It was a place that nobody visits for an enjoyable reason. The impossibly white corridors, the maddening smells of the sterilized rooms and the unknown substances which the doctor's cabinets stored, the uncanny forms of the surgical equipment and the unknown purpose each of them served sparked an ominous feeling inside her heart that steadily grew into fear.

For Neliel'Hospital' was a synonym of disease, suffering and death. It was a confinement isolated from the outside world where one becomes absorbed by the terrified thoughts of his own uncertain existence, monitored by doctors who appeared and vanished like apparitions, identical in their white clothes.

Inside the hospital, time and space warped into something that focused onto Neliel's own unstable health. The sterilized, germ-free air felt fake, empty, as if all the oxygen in it was replaced with something else that was numbing her senses. The lights in the rooms illuminated the walls, floor and the furniture in a grayish glow that gave Neliel headaches. The food also had a screwed-up taste, as if all the vitality and tastiness had been deliberately sucked out of it before it was served in bland white trays. Everything here had an artificial, fake look to it, as if it was made by something different from humans.

Neliel laid on her back and stared at the ceiling for the nth time, killing time by rehashing memories from her childhood. There were quite a few memorable moments worth noting as pleasant or care-free. The only good memories she had of her father were when she was still in grade school, a long time before the relations between her mom and Sosuke went downhill. Back then, he was an easy-going, tolerant parent, always talking in a soft-spoken voice, one of the many things he and her mother had in common. He rarely ever raised his voice and even when he did, it didn't take long for him to revert to his normal, tranquil self. His tone, though always gentle and quiet, could bear so much emotion and power in it, rendering any other ways to display authority unnecessary. In those days, her father bore the resemblance to a God in Neliel's eyes; he was all-knowing, he knew when she behaved and when she was naughty, he was benevolent and just. Even if he did get angry sometimes, his rage was always righteous and had a noble, powerful vibe about it. He never threw tantrums, his face never flushed red in fury to the degree where it would actually be pathetic or ugly.

Those days were long gone. Whether it was money and power, some strange, unexplainable shift in his personality, the effect of a shocking event that took place somewhere in his personal life or his age, something made his graceful divine bearing to slowly crack like a dry shell, revealing a jet-black rotten core of despicability and selfishness.

She remembered the night when this never-ending nightmare started, when Sosuke came home late from a banquet with his colleagues, drunk for the first time since he married Unohana Retsu. When her mother asked him what he has done to himself, he slurred through a half-opened mouth to shut up. When he reeled and nearly fell prostrate on the floor, her mom caught him and helped him stand straight. He returned the favor by slapping her across the face. This was the first time Neliel saw tears in her mom's eyes.

She rushed to her room and locked herself before she could hear that large vase breaking to pieces and her father shouting like a madman.

She sighed as she laid motionless in her bed. Sunlight illuminated her bed, but it felt colder than it should have been. Even the summer sunrays were dulled in this grayish, still hospital atmosphere. And to think that only two days earlier she was outside, sweating in the heat and cursing the weather for making her so dizzy. Now, when there was a thick wall separating her from the outside world, she felt like some pale slimy creature hiding under a rock.

The door opened and a nurse peeked on her.

"You have a visitor." She informed cheerfully.

Neliel smiled faintly when her uncle walked inside, carrying a paper bag full to the top with apples. Honestly, that old man was worrying about everything. Why couldn't her father be like him?

He settled the apples on her bed and grinned:

"How is my girl doing today?"

Neliel's smile broadened. "Still the same, but a notch better."

"That isn't the same." He snickered. "The nurse said that you've been awfully quiet."
Neliel looked at the window with a yearning feeling in her soul. "Considering that I'm bound to this bed and there's nothing to do, it's no surprising that I'd be in low spirits."

Shou reached out and caressed her hand.

"I know you can't stand this place, but it's all for the best."

All for the best. Those words always made her wince. They always seemed like the most desperate excuse a person could make when it came to forcing others to do something they disliked. Well, not like she had the option to just pack up and leave, but this attempt to comfort her could only irritate her more.

"As if I could forget." She murmured with a half-open mouth. "The image of this room is going to be etched into my mind for a while after I get out of here."

The only thing Shou could possibly do was smile comfortingly. The situation didn't allow anything else.

"Don't you worry. I won't be the only one keeping you company." He said affably. His hand picked an apple from the bag and offered it to Neliel. She stared at it numbly for a few seconds before taking it.

She had friends. Colleagues where she worked and some old mates from high school, though she didn't put much effort to keep in touch with the latter after they parted ways in life. Occasionally seeing their faces over a cup of coffee and exchanging a few words was more than enough to keep a friendly relationship. It was likely that Pesche or Donnochakka would start ringing her as soon as they figured out that her absence was out of the ordinary, then she'd have to spend a half an hour on the phone telling them that she was sort of alright and a whole day with them, accepting enormous bouquets with cards wishing her to get better soon. And they would sit by her and weep and wail as if she'd already died. Neliel rolled her eyes at the very thought of it. Seriously, those guys just loved to overreact in the most out-of-place occasions.

Neliel fixed the bag of fruits. "You overdid yourself with all of these, didn't you?"

"I don't usually buy so much, but I thought we'd need to have something to eat while we're here. Especially taking your condition in mind." Shou Aizen explained sheepishly and grabbed an apple himself.

Neliel snickered. "I never thought my bank account would actually come in handy someday. Good thing I only squeezed money out from dad, otherwise it would've been closed down a long time ago."

At times like these she was taken aback by her own greediness, expediency and prudence. The large sums of money she had taken from her father did not always go for satisfying her whims or supporting her uncle. A little practical thought for the future and some financial security never killed anybody, so she stashed those money in a bank unbeknownst to Sosuke Aizen. She never expected that the rainy day when those money would be put to use would actually come, when she couldn't depend on her father and she had a relative to support in a crisis even more serious than before.

"And before you say anything, you don't have to give back anything." Neliel added and glared at her uncle. A big grin sprouted on his face as a response.

"You're so insistent when it comes to money."

"That must be the only good quality I've inherited from my dad." Neliel murmured with a tiny smile. She dazed off again and let her eyes wander out the window, where the world beckoned her to return.

"I met Nnoitra on the way back."

She snapped out of her trance at the mention of Nnoitra's name. Neliel focused her attention on her uncle. "You did? How is he?"

"We didn't speak much." Shou said concisely. "He seemed to be in a hurry. I asked him to pass by your room when he had the chance." He raised his hands in surrender when Neliel frowned at him. "I couldn't help myself, you wanted to see him again so badly."

"I don't want to force him to visit me. He's already done enough for me, I don't want him to feel like he's my babysitter. He probably already has his own personal issues, he doesn't need another one like me."

"Nnoitra is a good man. A little bit snappish, but definitely a good man. The fact that he risked his life to save yours is enough for me to trust him." Shou stated benevolently.

She recollected the conversation she had had with him when her uncle was out of the room. He made it clear that he wasn't a hero in shining armor and that she shouldn't delude herself about his nature. Nnoitra didn't take pride in saving her, nor he seemed very pleased himself about it. Rather, it felt like she was burdening him with the obligation of securing her life and bringing her to the hospital. When she thought about it, nobody had ever said that he had to feel emotionally attached to the person he had rescued. It was just the most fundamental thing a human would do for another, out of an innate feeling for communal appurtenance. He saved her from the danger, made sure she was ok and then everybody went on with his life, which was where their paths parted. But she didn't want to bid farewell with him yet.

It felt like… she was going to miss an opportunity she was waiting for her whole life.

Nnoitra seemed like a very angry, discontent person, as if he always had a splinter in his foot that he couldn't pull out. People with demeanor as ill as his were rare to find, but Neliel had a clue how their minds operated. Their tetchiness boiled down to an inability to communicate with others.

At least that's how she was things. She didn't have the experience or arrogance to claim she knew Nnoitra's thoughts and motivation. She could never really know if he really was the demon he pretended to be. Neliel was always the one who would get along fine with everyone around her and overlook their flaws and bad habits, but Nnoitra might actually be too much for even her own kind-heartedness to accept.

She shook her head. What was she thinking? She just wanted to get to know him better, it's not like she wanted to date him!

While all of this was happening, Nnoitra was occupied with the extremely productive activity of lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling. His eyes were fixed in the grayish veil of spider web, replaying the events of yesterday in his head. And once again, he was asking himself the question that he couldn't answer properly, no matter how long he strained his head to come up with a good answer.

That old fart practically invited him over to see her. Fuck, his proposal was so kind-hearted and innocent that it took the bounding powers of an outright demand. You can't turn down people like that. It was like kicking a puppy.

But Nnoitra didn't like puppies. He snorted with all the disgust and mordancy that he could muster and looked down on them as condescendingly as he could, just to see their stupid, good-willed grin freeze on their face as they tried to adjust themselves to the situation. He should've rebuffed him instantly, but

He now had unspoken obligations towards them that he wasn't supposed to back out of. But, honestly, who was he kidding? He wasn't the type of guy who'd get bossed around or coaxed into doing something unless he felt like it. So if he hated seeing those people so much, why was he still bothering himself thinking over this seemingly-settled problem?

He grumbled like a bear and slammed the folder with his CV and diploma on the table, then stomped to the bathroom. He grabbed the toothbrush and scrubbed his teeth as if he was scrubbing the deck of a ship.

Damn that old fart! Damn that crippled bitch! They wanted him all for their selves without even considering he might have a myriad of troubles of his own and that he lacked the time to chit-chat with random strangers like them.

He leaped out of the bathroom and slumped on the bed. He closed his eyes and tried to sort his thoughts out. Didn't work. He whirled in bed a few times, then jumped on his feet and paced to the window. Then he came back to the fridge, fished out a bottle of beer, opened it and gobbled it up feverishly.

God damn it! How the hell was he supposed to solve this idiotic dilemma? What was even worse was that he was creating this so-called dilemma inside his head. He could easily ignore Shou Aizen's request and get on with his life. But… what if he bumped in that old man again? He'd be strolling through the market shopping, then he'd hear his abominable voice and see him striding towards him with his idiotic smile, then he'd ask him if he'd be able to drop by this time. Then Nnoitra would pretend he had better things to do and walk away and the week after that, the same fuckin thing will happen all over again!

He clutched his head because he realized that he was becoming psychotic. He'd start breaking stuff any moment now and he didn't have the money to afford buying new furniture or windows at the moment. So Nnoitra solved his problem in the quickest and easiest way he could think of right now.

Getting drunk.

From the author: Alright… I seriously don't know what happened. The end was a bit rushed and out of the blue, but… meh.