Mama's Fan Fiction
Disclaimer: I don't own twilight. SM does but one can dream.
Chap 2 Pranks"Bella?"
"Yeah."
"Can you tell me more of those stories?"
"Well," she says turning toward him, "apparently we are very adventurous in bed. We have sex all the time in the stories and you really love giving me oral sex."
"I do?" he asked.
"Yeah and you're really, really good at it." She stated enthusiastically.
"I am?"
"Yeah."
"I realllllllly love it."
"You do?"
"Yeah."
"So I have a hidden talent not even I knew about." He said.
"In one of the Fan Fictions we do it in your bedroom up against the glass with Jacob outside watching."
He growls.
"To be fair it was before Jacob became our son-in-law." She said as if that made it fine that Jacob was a voyeur. Jacob her best friend, who was hopelessly in love with her before he imprinted on their one-hour-old daughter.
"Wait," he said, "are there stories where you and Jacob get together."
"Yeah I was reading one yesterday called From the Wings by LJ Summers where I married Jacob because you didn't come back. When you did come back we became friends and you came to my wedding. Then Jacob imprints on some dumb redhead but you come and rescue me and we finally we fall in love again. It was so sweet!"
"That would have been horrible." He said thoughtfully and then mumbled to himself. "Thank the Quileute Spirits for imprinting."
"Yeah there are entire fan clubs that are Team Jacob verses Team Edward."
"What team are you?"
"Team Edward of course. Well I'm kind of Team Switzerland because some of Team Edward's want to shoot Jacob in the head."
"I know the feeling," he said nodding. Bella frowned at him.
"There are also people who think I'm a whiney bitch."
"What people?" he says gasping.
"Oh its fine. I can take it because I do whine and bitch at times, being my husband, you know that better than anyone."
"Never Bella you are unequivocally not a 'whiney bitch'," he proclaimed, "and I will tear apart anyone who would think such a thing."
"Thru a computer Edward? It's fine. I think its funny." She said, "and one more time you can't protect me from everything."
"Then there are the funny school stories. We apparently had an offal sex ed class, in one we are in PE together, and in one we get caught passing notes during class. All of which end up being humiliating for Mike Newton."
"Oh? I would like to read those." Edward stated with a smile.
"Yes and then there are all of the horrible pranks the Cullen's all play on each other. My favorite was when you were locked in the trunk of your Volvo and Alice duck tapes me to the hood then spray paints your Volvo pink."
"You have not been sharing any of these stories with Emmett have you?"
No comment.
He raised his voice, "Bella?" and nudged her.
"Shhh I'm sleeping."
A/N here are the great stories mentioned in this chappy (in no particular order) If you haven't read these you are seriously missing out!
The Wild and Wacky Adventures of Edward in PE! By LindaRoo
From the Wings by LJ Summers
Notes by Llama Mama23
Cullenary Educaton: Forks Sex Ed by MarcyJ
Here are some of my other favorites:
I Don't Exist by rachael1042
Stranger Than Fiction by MasenVixen
Seducing Ms Swan by DQRC
The Past Comes Back to Bite You by sillybella
The Vampire in the Basement by michellephants
Irritable Grizzly Adams by caligula42
Please review… Be critical all you want I know I need the help. Oh also let me know of any other stories I should be reading (as you can tell I love the AU-New Moon stories where Bella has to make a life without Edward)