Seeking Redemption

Chapter 4

Bella's POV

I could not believe my life these last two years. I have been through the highest highs. Meeting Edward, falling in love, getting married, the honeymoon…. Oh the honeymoon… ahhh… oh and becoming a mother. I have also been through the lowest lows. James' attack on me, Edward leaving, facing the Volturi, Victoria and her newborns, cliff diving. I survived it all and when I finally woke up a vampire ready to have an eternity with Edward and our daughter I truly thought my life was going to mellow out. But no, I'm Bella Cullen danger magnet and apparently my daughter has inherited the problem from me.

Within moments of being born she was attacked by a stupid wolf. Thank God she is okay but I can't help but think what eternity would have been like if I would have to have spent it mourning the loss of the only daughter Edward and I would ever have. I shudder to even think about it.

To think I could have lost something so precious at the hands of my former best friend. Now said former best friend wants to be a part of her life, trying to make some wolfy claim on my baby! I just had her and almost lost her to him once and I will not let him get a second chance at her. I can't even think his name without wanting to kill him.

"Are you okay Love?" Edward said bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Yes I'm okay" I lied almost immediately then smelling Jasper's scent and knowing I was caught I amended. "Well I will be okay when we can get this meeting over with and forget all about stupid wolves!"

"Well I guess we don't need to ask how you feel about the whole situation then, well I never have to ask how anyone feels!" Jasper said while walking in with Alice and Esme.

"Funny Jazz." I mumbled out as I started to chuckle and everyone joined in.

"Knock it off Jasper" Edward said trying not to laugh while Jasper flooded us with humor.

"Well, all this tension and anger is really starting to get to me already so sue me for trying to lighten the mood!" Jasper responded slumping into a chair at the huge unused Cullen dining room table. Well not used for eating anyway.

"It will be okay Jazzy. I enjoyed the little chuckle!" Alice beamed at her husband while taking her place at his side.

"Thanks Darlin'" Jasper drawled back at her while winking and throwing an arm around her shoulders.

Carlisle then entered with Rosalie and Emmett on his heels. The latter two reeking of each other; obviously relieving a little tension of their own. After they all sat, the eight of us were now all here. Renesmee was fast asleep upstairs in Edwards's room. She would not be waking up until morning. Go figure the only parents who don't need sleep have a baby that sleeps through the night from birth.

"Shall we get started?" Carlisle began and after we all nodded he continued. "Although this situation affects some of us the final decision is Edward's and Bella's. However, they feel and I agree that we all need to hear each other's opinions and feelings on the matter. So, as always let's respect one another and try to come up with something that makes everyone in the family happy including Renesmee. I'll start by saying that Jacob made an awful mistake and it is very apparent how horrible he feels about the whole ordeal." at this Rose and I rolled our eyes. "With that said I do believe with all my heart that he is not a danger to Renesmee or anyone else in this family. I understand the imprint to be not unlike our own kind finding their mate. Together we are whole, apart we are lost. I think it would be unwise to try to keep them apart forever but it is also something we can revisit at a later time. I think this will all work itself out in time when there is healing and forgiving. We can see how things develop over the years."

"So you're kind of in the middle?" I questioned.

"I guess you could say that, yes." He responded.

"Okay" I nodded. "Esme, what about you?" I wanted to get my mother in law out of the way. She is definitely one I can predict what their thinking. She is the most caring and loving person I know.

"Well dear, I feel like Jacob is as torn up about this, if not more so than our family is. All I can imagine is if I were to hurt Carlisle I would be devastated. And Jacob just knowing he could have has hurt Renesmee has him riddled with guilt. I really do feel for him. He's only human and we all make mistakes. I would hope if I were to make a bad decision that my loved ones would be willing to let me try to make it up to them. It's also more than that, Renesmee will long for him. She has already showed us all a vision of a man walking out the door. She doesn't know who it is but we all know its Jacob. The only person she shows us more is maybe you Bella but it's definitely close between you Edward and him. I think that says something since that's the only time she has seen him other than in wolf form. So I think he deserves another chance."

"Thank you dear. I think we should just continue around the table so Rosalie.." Carlisle said with a nod at her.

"I think that mutt deserves to die for what he did to Renesmee and I. The fact that he is alive is his second chance. I think he shouldn't be allowed within a mile of Renesmee. Wolves are volatile and can't be trusted! He could have killed us both! I also think that if it were someone else other than me that got attacked with the baby everyone would actually give a shit! If it were any of you guys I would be defending you not worrying myself with that stupid mutt!" by the end she was screaming.

"Rosie baby, it's not like that. You know I would have killed that mutt if Carlisle wouldn't have told me not to. Hell I still wanted to then he apologized and Edward said he never intended to kill you. Rosie you saw him crying, I can't kill someone who's crying. But I'm with you all the way, if you don't want him around then neither do I. That's all I have to add…. I'm sticking with my wife!" Emmett declared.

I looked around nodding to myself. I figured I could count on Rose and Emmett. I was most curious about how Jasper and Alice would think. I'll have to remember to ask Edward later if everyone was saying all that was on their mind. We all focused our attention on Alice.

"Well it's no secret that I can't see the wolves nor can I see Renesmee so I can't tell if or how things work out between them. I can however see all of us in the future all still together and happy. Those visions are far in the future although I can't tell just how far off they are. I'm sure they will get clearer as they get closer. I also see Rose and Em away from us at times but I can't see the reason for it. I think I will get more visions when a decision is made."

"I would like to know what you think personally not just what you can see Alice?" I asked her. Her visions always kept her living in the future but now with her not being able to see Renesmee she will be forced just to wait and see. I'm sure this is hard for her.

"I don't really know what to think! I'm frustrated with my visions right now or lack thereof. Maybe if I was paying more attention to all of our futures I could have seen this and prevented it." She huffed sitting back frowning.

"Alice none of this is your fault!" I told her.

"I know it not my fault but I can't help but think it could have been avoided. I was so consumed trying to see your and Edward's future to see how the birth would go. With you being all fuzzy while pregnant I was trying hard to see around you by looking for Edward's and your parent's future. Maybe if I was looking at all our futures I would have noticed something off with Rose."

"Alice I don't think you would have seen anything to help you know what had gone on. It all happened so fast and Rose healed so quick it most likely would have made no sense at all even if you did." Edward told her.

I agreed then asked her again. "I need to know what you think about what Jacob did." Cringing as I said his name.

"I think what he did was awful. If he would have hurt Renesmee I don't think this family would ever have recovered. I don't want him around but I think it might be hard for Renesmee." She paused for a bit then added with a smile, returning to her happy demeanor. "I know it will work out in the end though anyway and we will all be together and happy!"

Great that's not helpful right this minute, but that's just Alice always the optimist.

"Jasper?" Carlisle said.

"The whole situation is screwed. I don't envy Bella or Edward for having to figure this out. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. All I can offer is my assessment of how the two involved feel. Jacob's most dominating feelings are remorse and shame but there is also a lot of disgust, fear, self loathing and longing. Renesmee feels happiness and wonder when showing the vision of Jacob leaving. She feels scared and then content when replaying the vision of him in wolf form. On a personal level I hate to say it but I understand what Jacob is feeling. I always felt similar after making a mistake and draining a human. I know what it is like to have those feelings after hurting someone and you guys have always understood and said it's hard fighting our own nature then given me another chance. Is it not the same for him?"

"NO!" I shouted. "You have not tried to kill my newborn daughter!"

"No I haven't but I have tried attacking you and if not for everyone here I would have drained you that day." He responded while motioning around the table. "You are someone's daughter; all my other victims have families as well. A lot of people have been hurt as a result of my actions, most notably all the people which sit at this table. Yet none of you have ever held it against me. You hardly even knew me and forgave me without my even asking. He is your best friend don't you think he deserves another chance? Is it not his nature to kill vampires? He saw her as a threat, the reason for your death and acted on instinct. How is it any different from things I have done?"

I exhaled in a sigh and turned my gaze away crossing my arms in thought. This was not going as I thought it would. I kind of figured how Esme, Carlisle, Rose and Emmett would feel. I had my doubts what Alice would think but I thought the fact that she can't see Jacob would irritate her enough to not want him around at all. I don't know why I assumed the warrior in Jasper would make him want to defend. His whole argument made sense logically but my head doesn't agree with my heart. I am mad, hurt, confused and a little something else. My emotions are all over the place. I don't think my being a newborn is helping.

I noticed a silent conversation going on between Edward and Jasper and turned to look at them.

"Bella love, do you want to speak or do you want me to go?"

"You go ahead" I told him and leaned into him, surely I could count on my husband, he always hated Jake.

He took a deep unneeded breath and ran his hand through his hair then spoke. "I don't know where to begin; I have never been a fan of Jacob Black, although it seems we are always on the same side of things. We both loved and fought for Bella. We both tried to protect her from the other. We both did not want her to continue with the pregnancy. And now……." He turned to look at me and I could see the anguish in his eyes. "I know that man, I have been him. I know what it is like to have the monster takeover to the point that you don't even know who you are. I know how it is to come so close to harming the very person who defines your existence. I know how it is to live second guessing the safety of that very person even being in your presence. I know how it feels to walk away no matter how bad it hurts because you think it is the right thing to do only to find out it broke you both. And more than anything, I know what it's like to be forgiven for everything and accepted flaws and all. To given the chance to spend the rest of time proving just how divine such forgiveness can be. Bella love, this is so much like our story. Surely you must see the parallels. I almost drained you that first day in our biology class. I don't think you will ever grasp how much danger you were in that day. I tried to stay away from you but couldn't. When I did leave you it almost killed us both. I don't wish that on anyone, especially our daughter. I don't know how this will all work out but I have faith that if we learn from our mistakes and with each other to count on we can minimize the damage and fallout from this mess.

"I witnessed the imprint through both of their thoughts and I assure it is a bond that rivals any bond I have ever seen. I know Renesmee doesn't fully understand everything quite yet but she will one day so this can't just be disregarded."

"How can she possibly miss what she doesn't know? That's absurd!" Rose argued before I had a chance to speak. "I say we just move and leave this whole mutt infestation behind!"

I gasped. "Charlie?!" I managed to mumble out. I had not even given much thought to that whole situation. "I'm not going anywhere until I figure out what to do about Charlie. He still thinks I'm sick." I let my head fall into my hands. This was so much to take in at once. It was very disorientating. Focus Bella. I pulled my shoulders and stuck my chin out and just made a decision. "Okay this is what I think. I don't know if I can ever forgive Jacob for trying to kill my daughter and attacking my sister in law while my husband and I fought for my life just upstairs. I feel that this is a betrayal of the trust we all gave willingly to him because he was my best friend and I'm devastated to have been so wrong about him. The very idea of the imprint on a newborn freaks me out. What kind of mother would I be if I let my daughter be around a grown looking man who is in love with her?"

"He is not in love with her." Jasper cut me off.

"He loves her very much, as she does him, but not in love. It's different." Edward added.

"Okay fine but it's only a matter of time until he starts seeing her that way!" I answered.

"Well that we can deal with when it comes, Jasper and Edward can monitor them both." Carlisle offered.

I drummed my fingers on the table in thought. "I need time; I'm all over the place right now. Everything is just too fresh I need time to process."

"Of course my love, why don't we hunt." Edward said to me then stood and addressed our family. "Thank you all very much, your opinions and help is invaluable. Bella and I will discuss this further and try to come to a decision that is best for the whole family. Although given the extreme variations of some opinions not everyone will be completely satisfied but I hope you can appreciate the position we are in and try to bear with us." With that he grabbed my hand and headed out in a rush towards the woods behind the mansion.

Edwards POV

As I pulled Bella quickly out the door behind me I tried to ignore Jasper's thoughts taunting me for wanting to "go all cave man" as he put it. I knew he was referring to the possessive feelings that were coursing through me every since he mentally told me he was getting a little bit of jealousy from Bella. Being that I could not read her mind im assuming the jealousy was about Jacob loving another. I mean she had been effectively replaced as the most important girl in his life by her daughter. I don't know if it bothered me more that it bothered her that she was replaced at all, or that she could possibly be jealous of our daughter. Either way I could not get over this overwhelming feeling that I must claim what is mine. We have not been intimate since our honeymoon. I needed it so I could silence that little voice that was nagging me that I had not made her mine as a vampire and solidified our forever.

We ran for a few miles and stopped when I smelt a heard of deer. I didn't want to take her too far in case we happened to stumble onto a human scent. She was already really good at hunting. She was a natural so once we stopped I let her take the lead. When she pounced on her prey I snagged one of the ones running and hung back while drinking and just watched her. She was stunning as a predator and I was so turned on from watching the display in front of me it was hard to concentrate on the animal in my arms.

I continued staring at my wife unabashed as she finished off two large bucks and stood brushing her self off and licking her lips. She turned her head and met my eyes as I leaned against a nearby tree in awe. She was mine and I was going to make my claim again. She tilted her head to the side and then I saw understanding flash in her eyes. She suddenly smirked and was in front of me in a flash. She moved to kiss me but I was faster grabbing her and spun her around so she was pinned with her back to the tree me pressing the length of my body against her. She gasped and as I stared at her mouth, tongue running along my lower lip, I smelt her arousal.

"You have a drop of blood here my love, do you mind?" I said to her, my voice husky with lust. There was no blood but it didn't matter, to either of us. She shook her head eyes never leaving my own. She wanted this as much as I did.

Something snapped in me then. She was mine and she wanted me. Now that she was a vampire the only one who could get hurt was me from her newborn strength and I was confident I could handle it.

So I took her mouth with a force neither of us had experienced.

I took her whole body, doing everything I had ever imagined doing to her in every way I could fathom. She gave as good as she got as well. Bella was always full of surprises and tonight was no exception. I know I was the first one to start grunting "mine" at times but she was just as vocal screaming my name and many other possessive slurs into the nighttime forest. We claimed each other over and over in every way until the sun came up and we had to return in time for Renesmee to wake.

I would call Jacob later today. I think I had a solution that Bella would likely agree to for the time being at least to give her some time to adjust to it all. I just hoped our family would be able to make it through as a whole.

AN: Thank you for reading. Please let me know what you think of me making Bella the one wanting Ren/Jake kept apart and Edward the one completely understanding Jacob.

Next chapter will be back to Jake's POV. I like it better and that always makes the writing flow faster for me!

Thanks and Review plz

~J~