Authors Note: Sorry about the delay in updating. I always need some real inspiration to write something for this story, which is why the updates are slow. I think this chapter is really funny, so I hope you enjoy reading it.
Happy reading:
"Jake!" I heard Nessie before I saw her. And I could smell her. She smelt different today, with a chocolateier tint to her usual fruitiness, but I accepted it as she ran at me with her full force, pounding into me. "I got a game for you, Jakey!" She squealed, but that only scared me. What kind of game?
"Hey, Nessie," I greeted, taking her small hand in my large one as she led me into the Cullen house. What surprised me was that Blondie and Alice were sitting on the sofa, Blondie a smug grin on her face, Alice an excited one.
"What's going on, Blondie?" I smiled sarcastically, "Not very often you smile,"
Blondie scowled as Nessie pulled me over to the table that had a variety of different coloured boxes awaiting further use.
"This is… a surprise," I stated, looking around. It kinda scared me that I was in a room, alone, with Pixie, Blondie and my little Princess. Where was Emmett? He was huge; he could add some masculinity to the room… apparently not.
"I want to play dress up," Nessie smiled in a child like manner, as she dragged a dining room chair across the wooden floor and positioning it near the table.
"Go get your clothes then, Ness," I said, offering my hand out to her but she refused it.
"Not my dress up, Jake." A huge grin spilt over her face, "Yours."
Blondie howled with laughter as Nessie pulled a second chair behind the first and climbed onto it.
"It was Rosalie's idea," Nessie added, and I let a low growl rippled out of my chest as Blondie laughed some more. It was a nice sound, but not coming from her. I wanted to shut her mouth for her so she'd never be able to laugh again.
"I guess Barbie's do have an expiry date," I joked, chuckling at Blondie's sudden facial expression change, referring to her inability to stand in as the model.
"Jake!" Nessie snapped, hitting my lightly on the arm. "Sit down, I want to start!"
I rolled my eyes at her demand, but could not get over how innocent she still looked as she pointed for me to sit, which I obediently did.
"Close your eyes, mutt," Blondie hissed, and I felt something warm wrap around my eyes to tighten them. Alarm bells began ringing, but it was only Nessie's steady breathing and heart beat that stopped me from ripping the restriction from my eyes.
"Where's Mom and Dad, Ness?" I asked, wondering if I'd get to see Bells this afternoon, or if she was off somewhere with Edward… no doubt the last one.
"Busy," I heard Alice say, a smile evident in her voice and a deeper meaning behind her single word answer; that's all they ever seemed to do when I was about, giving them some time alone. The thought still sickened me.
I felt my hair being pulled by tiny, miracle hands, yanking and tugging carelessly in all directions. Wincing when she was exceptionally rough, she calmed slightly. She didn't seem to realise her own strength, but my hair/fur was a weakness. It hurt when pulled.
"Nessie, what are you doing?" I asked wearily, getting more and more uncertain as time passed. If it was not Nessie who was playing with my short hair, I would have refused point blank to sit and be made into some kind of real life doll. But it was Nessie there, and I could not refuse, no matter what she was doing.
"Just making you look prettier, Jake." She smiled, and I loved how she'd said prettier; a typical little girl response. It was during these times, these times of innocence and childlike attitude, that I enjoyed her company more. It was these times when her accelerated growth did not scare me.
Of course, I could only enjoy it so much with the scent of Blondie breathing down my neck, Alice chirping on about some crap that I held no interest in.
"Rosalie, you need to take his mask off," Nessie instructed. Surprising me, Blondie did, unravelling whatever had been placed over my eyes and I looked around.
"Sit still, Jake!" Ness complained, which I rolled my eyes at. She sure could be a handful. "Which colour clips? Blue, pink, green or red?" She said, holding out an example of each in her tiny hands. I would have instantly gone for blue, a more masculine colour, but it was a sky blue with polka dots on the metal and a butterfly pendant stuck to the end. I felt my balls drop.
"Green, I guess." I muttered causing Blondie to smirk smugly as the clips were carefully added to my hair. I grumbled quietly about how none of the other males of the house had to go through such measures.
"Can I start on his face, Nessie?" I heard Alice squeak. I spun my head round to see her holding a small brush that was not for hair. What it was for, I had no idea. But my face?
"I want to help," Nessie smiled excitedly, jumping off her chair that she'd been standing on with a small thud as she landed delicately.
Alice stood around me, getting out a palette of colours. Were they going to paint me? As Nessie hopped onto my lap, her own brush in her hand, I started to get scared.
"What are you doing?" I asked incredulously, trying to keep the disgust out of my voice. I'd already got how ever many pretty green clips in my hair, putting it into god knows what position, and now I was going to where make-up?!
"Making. You. Look. Pretty." Nessie separated each word impatiently and finished with a sigh. "Now be quiet, and sit still!" I really pitied myself… I mean, we'd discussed imprinting and stuff like that; Nessie knew everything know, but I mean… if anything ever developed into something more, if Nessie chose to see me as a husband rather than a brother, then my god, I was going to have my hands full! Well, either way I would… I simply couldn't say no!
"That's good, Jake," Nessie praised as she brushed something against my cheek. It felt awful; the cool substance that itched. It didn't belong there. I was a man on nature, not some pretty boy in make-up. That was Edward's job.
"Now, now, Jake…" I heard the voice and I spun, causing a vicious streak of make-up to be pasted across my face in a place it wasn't supposed to be. I heard Alice's teeth grind together in frustration and Nessie sigh, hitting my shoulder and trying to get me to spin back around.
Edward stood there, a smile so large on his face, it took over.
"I'm the pretty boy?" He tried to suppress the smile by biting his lips, much like Bella did, but it was not working. His smugness was too controlling.
"This is a one off. You look like this all the time," I replied hastily. Unfortunately for me, I had no idea what I looked like, how feminine I looked so I was in no position to deny how bad I looked. I knew Nessie, and I knew Alice quite well too; both wouldn't do things half way.
Oh crap, I cursed. Half way? Surely they'd just stop at hair and make-up… please, dear god, tell me they will stop at hair and make-up.
"Something tells me not, Jake," Edward broke the news to me, and I sighed. I'd come round to spend some time with Nessie, not have her, Alice and Blondie work on me. Again, I began grumbling.
"I'll be back in a minute. Just going to fetch Bella," Edward announced.
"Why? Where is she?" I asked, thinking bitterly that they were never without each other.
"Erm," Edward said. I saw him bite his lip; he was spending way too much time with Bells, "Clearing up…" Edward trailed off before running out of the house.
I scrunched my eyes closed, trying to rid myself of the image that Edward had painted for me, however vague.
"They're always making mess," Nessie said matter-of-factly, and I cringed. She was three, and she knew about this kind of thing?! I did trust Bella and Edward somewhat to keep her in the dark… maybe Ness just thought they made mess, not necessarily knowing how they made a mess. My stomach twisted with the sickening thought.
"Am I done yet?" I asked impatiently, looking down to see Nessie's legs interlocked with mine to give her a stable seat to sit upon. She looked up at me through Bella's brown eyes, big pools of beauty, and shook her head.
"Not even close," Blondie added, before disappearing up the curving stairs of the house.
Not minutes later, I'd had something green pasted across my eyelids that felt gluey, sticking and uncomfortable, something Alice had informed me would match my clips, if I was, in any case, worrying about mismatching. I'd gotten an audience consisting of Bella and Edward, holding hands in a sickly way and Blondie had returned.
With a god awful dress. A freaking dress on a coat hanger was in her arms; a beastly thing with frills and lace, which looked like it belonged on some fat woman. Was I really that big? Because I definitely didn't doubt that it was for me…
"Oh no, oh no. No. No. No. No!" I hissed over and over again, lifting Nessie off my lap and standing up. Alice attempted to get me to sit again, as Bella burst into fits of giggles. How awful did I look?
"For Nessie?" Alice manipulated, but I shook my head.
"For no-one," I hissed.
But then I felt a tugging of my sleeve and I looked down at Nessie, standing with a pout and wide eyes.
"For me?" She asked sadly, her forehead creased.
With gritted teeth, I returned to my seat with my fists clenched and eyes closed. Deep breaths, Jake, deep breaths, I told myself over and over. I was in no danger of phasing, I was not that angry… just impatient.
"Way to hold your own, Jake," Bella called from where she was sitting. My eyes flung open and I shot her a deathly scare that had no affect on her whatsoever. She just laughed harder.
"We're nearly done," Alice smiled, pasting something on my lips. It smelt of strawberries, and I had the urge to either lick it or wipe it off. But Nessie had returned to my lap, every inch of her perfection, and I would not dishearten her that way.
"There!" Nessie exclaimed, clapping her hands loudly. It'll all be over soon, I compromised with myself. Nessie jumped off my lap, and I stood.
"Give him the dress, Rosalie," She instructed which she did, handing it to me. I tried not to touch it, but the truth was it was inevitable. I had to wear it. God damn it!
"You want my help?" Bella offered. I looked up to see her glorious smile, still as beautiful as I remember… it was just that Nessie was more so.
Edward growled a little, a natural reaction to which I rolled my eyes. Nessie couldn't do this awful zip up, Blondie and Alice were going no where near me, and I was not stripping in front of Edward. And as much as he didn't want me to strip in front of Bella, he suppressed his irrational jealous rage, understanding it was on best friend terms.
"Come on then, Jakette," Bella smirked, leading me up the stairs. I heard Edward growl again, but then he coughed, trying to disguise his involuntary reaction.
"I could take you in a fight, you know, Bells," I laughed, hitting her playfully and pushing her forwards. She led me into one bathroom out of many, the filthy rich vamps.
"Strip," Bella ordered, turning her back and facing the wall so I could do it as dignified as a man wearing make up and hair clips could.
"Da da da da," I sung, taking off my shirt and exposing my chest. Bella stole a glance, laughing at my striptease before turning around again, muttering something about hurrying up. "Come on, Bells, put me out of my misery," I snapped, after taking my trousers off. I felt a little exposed in my boxers, but nothing she hadn't seen before. I was always walking round in shorts and nothing else.
She ruffled the dress, sliding it over my head and my arms fell through the holes. It was itchy, it was uncomfortable, it looked awful, but it was for Nessie.
"Well…" Bella began, looking me up and down, analysing me. "I'd stick to male clothing," She laughed, her lips curving into the same smile that was downstairs.
I fought the urge to look in the mirror, knowing I'd back out if I saw. But just as I was going to walk out of the room to my awaiting, impatient little Nessie, Bella caught my hand.
"Jake," She breathed, smiling, "Thank you. I know you love Nessie – in the right way, for now at least," She paused and squeezed my hand, maybe a little tighter than she needed to. She was still exceptionally strong. "I know you're doing it for Nessie,"
Her words touched me as she leaned in to kiss my cheek, her delicate lips pressing against my skin, and I felt better. Not just for Nessie, but for Bella too. Maybe my feelings for her had been replaced by something else, but I still loved her. She was still my best friend.
"Are you coming?" I heard Edward shout, no doubt wanting to break this sentimental moment. Did he get enough of those, already? Did he really have to break it?
I let it pass as I descended the stairs, tripping over more than once the long unnecessary skirt of this thing. Laughter burst out of the room which had been waiting silently for appearance. Nessie squealed excitedly, clapping her hands together again, Bella returning to Edward. And then I noticed the giant vamp, Emmett, with Blondie on his lap.
"My god, mate. Sorry, but I wouldn't date you," Emmett called, and he, too, broke out into a booming laugh.
"Happy, Nessie?" I shot at her and her face lit up like a thousand lights as she nodded happily. "You just wanted to laugh at me?"
This only encouraged another fit of laughter as Alice ran somewhere, returning almost instantly with a full length mirror in her arms. I closed my eyes as she positioned it in front of me, bracing myself.
When I opened my eyes, I saw a man dressed in drag. His short hair was pulled into small clumps, positioned with small green clips with little flowers randomly stuck to the metal. His eyelids were a similar green, and his face pale from the amount of whatever you call it, and big pink circles that resembled the badly decorated, over the top dolls. The dress looked worse on; green frilly sleeves, puffy shoulders, which clung to his male shaped hips. It sagged at the bottom, too long for even his tall stature.
I was ashamed to admit that man was me.
"Where the hell did you get the dress?" Bella exclaimed, seeing it in the same light that I did.
"It belonged to Esme's family somewhere down the line. I never chucked it away, though, for some reason. And now I know why," Alice smirked, but even her expression couldn't hide the blunt fact it was disgusting.
"Can I take it off now?" I asked, looking around for permission until I found the little girl who had demanded I do it, the little girl I couldn't refuse.
She shook her head, and I took her into my arms quickly, causing her to squeal.
"Are you going to take these clips out of my hair?" I said in a playfully threatening tone. She shook her head stubbornly, squealing all the while. "I think you should!" I exclaimed, tickling her and spinning her round.
"Okay! Okay, I will. I will!" She finally squealed, defeated.
"Come on then," I said putting her down, and taking her by the shoulders to the chair. "It's not nice to laugh at people," I smiled, turning around and pulling a face at Bella which she shrugged off.
The family seemed to disperse a little, losing interest now they were coming down from the high I'd created for them all.
When it was just Nessie and I alone, she leaned over my shoulder and brought her lips to my ear.
"I didn't do it to laugh at you, Jake," She admitted, and I turned around so I could see her face, "Rosalie said we should do it and I thought we should too."
Her brown eyes seemed a little apologetic, and I wondered if she'd taken my words to heart. Sure, it was funny, and I'd laugh too. I was just embarrassed; they hadn't hurt my feelings or any of that crap.
"It doesn't matter, Ness, honest." I assured, but I didn't turn away from her face. "Why did you want to play dress up, then?" I asked.
"Because it's fun," She shrugged, "But because its strange for a little girl to have a big boy friend. I wanted a girl friend for a change," She smiled sadly, and my heart ached for her.
"It's not strange, Nessie. Your Mom and I were good friends before you came along," I told her, remembering those times.
"There's another reason too," She informed and I nodded for her to continue, "I wanted to see what you look like in a dress,"
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