Ah, finally! An update! I was able to escape the drowning that is side projects I have no time for and post a new chapter!
I feel kind of... ehh about it, and it's probably not that important... I feel like I may have liked it more while I was writing it. But all the same, some of you have been patiently waiting, so here you go! (Thanks to all reviewers... I don't say that enough. But thank you soooooo soooo much!!)
(I actually just realized recently that the perspective changed and it upset me, so I had to go back and fix it. Damn... How did I overlook that? haha....)
Disclaimer: Do I really need one at this point? Really?
Suddenly, Roxas's demeanor changes into something Riku is more familiar with. His back is still stiff, his eyebrows still furrowed, but his hands go up and land on his hips. "Riku!" he snaps. "Don't you darehurt Roxas!"
Riku automatically lowers his fist, eyebrows raising in surprise. "Sora?"
Sora crosses his arms, nodding. "Seriously, Riku! What were you thinking?" Riku opens his mouth, but Sora continues, "I'm sick of it! Stop treating him like this!"
"Stop treating him like he's real." It slips out of his mouth before he can really think about it. Shit.
Sora's eyes go huge, and a terrifyingly hurt expression comes over his face. "He is real!"
"Sora, I didn't mean it, I just meant --"
"He's real, Riku," Sora insists.
"No he's not!" Riku snaps, and then wishes he could take it back. "No, Sora, I didn't--" But Sora is already glaring at him. "I only meant... Sora, don't you think it's strange, at all?"
Sora narrows his eyes nervously, because Kairi's looking away as if embarrassed. "Whaddya mean?"
"Naminé's already merged with Kairi, and they're one, like they should be. Naminé can't surface as often, and I think that by letting Roxas, you're giving him the chance to take over."
Sora looks over at Kairi, bewildered.
"Glad she's gone,"Roxas mumbles bitterly. Sora ignores that.
"Roxas wouldn't do that," he says quietly.
"You don't really believe that. He hatesyou, Sora."
"That's none of your business!" Roxas snaps.
"See? He doesn't even deny it." Riku wants Sora to understand, but he doesn't know how.
"Roxas wouldn't do that," Sora repeats quietly. His eyes shine with the beginnings of tears, and Riku swears softly; if there is one thing he cannot stand, it's seeing Sora cry.
"Sora --" Riku tries, albeit weakly.
But Sora's gone as quickly as he appeared. Roxas's sneer returns, and he pushes Riku back. "Back off, Riku." He makes his voice as calm as can, and resolute.
Riku grits his teeth, but Kairi grabs his arm. "Riku, don't!"
The silverette's nostrils flare, but he just glares. "If you try anything with Sora..."
"What are you gonna do?" Roxas spits bitterly.
"Roxas, stop!"Sora barks, dragging Roxas back with force. It's hisbody, dammit, and he will do what he wants. He shudders -- all this switching makes his chest and stomach hurt. Roxas is upset and it's stressing him out. This was supposed to be easy. Riku was supposed to accept Roxas and they would all get along and it would all be better.
"Sora, you idiot,"Roxas scoffs in his head. "You're so... naive." It's painful for both of them.
"Sora, maybe you shouldn't let Roxas take control just yet," Riku says, trying a gentler approach. He gets the feeling that he scared Sora before, and he doesn't want to do that, not after everything they've been through.
"I trust him," Sora whispers.
The look Riku gives him was sad. "Do you trust him, or do you want him to trust you?"
Riku's words reverberate and strike a chord. Sora's eyes widen a little and his mouth goes dry. "Wh-what? I..."
"Sora, like it or not, Roxas was -- maybe still is -- a Nobody. He isn't completely light. Just..." Riku gulps. "Just like I wasn't for all that time. He's part of the darkness, and maybe he always will be..."
Sora flashes back to the bathroom and puking for weeks and constant stomach pain and revolting darkness inking his innards, haunting his dreams. He thinks of crying out and being ignored and of the anger. The constant, constant anger.
And so all he can do is whisper out a gruff, "Yeah."
Roxas reacts immediately, but this time, Sora doesn't resist because he did promise.
"You know what?" Roxas snarls. He looks around -- people are reallystarting to look their way. "Fuck this." And he storms toward the cafeteria doors. He only wishes he could leave Sora behind.
"Sora!" Kairi calls, partially for show, partially because she can't very well call Roxas's name across the room.
Riku doesn't follow, though his jaw clenches bitterly.
Roxas pushes the doors open with force, his (Sora's) entire body shaking. He is angry. So, so angry. He will not go back in there, he will not.
"Roxas?" Sora calls apprehensively.
He's not darkness, he is not covered in darkness... He squeezes his eyes shut tight at the prickling sensation. He isn't going to cry.
"Roxas?" Sora tries again.
Without warning, his stomach wrenches and Sora is suddenly the dominant one. His entire body burns fiercely, and his eyes sting, but he touches his aching chest instead.
"Roxas?"
But Roxas doesn't want to talk anymore. It's like it had been all those weeks ago.
Sora collapses on the grass and tugs up clump-fulls. He's so tired.
The bell clangs.
"I should go to class," he tells himself sadly. But he doesn't really want to, so he lays there and stares up at the sky. It isn't exactly a nice day, but since it almost never rains in Destiny Islands and is hardly ever cloudy, it isn't so bad.
"Roxas?" he calls again. "Do you hate me?" But he knows the answer to that question.
Still, no response.
Sora kind of wishes Roxas would at least say yes.
He thinks again of going back. Of facing everyone, head hanging in embarrassment, no late pass, and changes his mind. He's never skipped by himself, but it can't be that bad. He wants to sleep, but fears his dreams.
"Hey Roxas?" he asks the empty air, even though he knows how angry the blonde is. "Do you think I'll ever see Donald and Goofy again? I mean, I got that letter the other week, but since then? Nothing. Do you think they've already forgotten?"
Of course, no response.
His eyelids droop and he thinks about how there's no need for a Keyblade bearer here. How different his life is now. How different it might always be.
Life will never be what it was, and he realizes he might never be happy.
He's saved the worlds from Heartless... He thought he had saved it from Nobodies...
"Hey Rox?" He knows by now that Roxas won't respond. "Where do you think Nobodies go when they die?"
He can feel Roxas react to this -- it's not a good feeling, but it is nice to know he's listening.
"Because ya know... I've been thinking about it. I feel like they should have gotten their hearts." He lowers his voice. "What I did was wrong, Roxas. I know that now. After Axel..." He chokes slightly. "After everything... I understand. I'm sorry."
Still no answer, but the pit of his stomach starts to coil.
"I'm stupid," Sora concludes. "Maybe not as stupid as Tidus. But I'm stupid." He feels like crying, but doesn't know why.
He tucks his arms behind his head and starts to make shapes in the clouds. "How many worlds do you think there are? A thousand? A million? I wanna see more," he confesses. "I know... things are supposed to be fine now... Happy ending, right? But.. I feel useless here, with a Keyblade I never get to use. I don't like fighting Heartless." He wrinkles his nose. "Not at all. But what about other worlds? Will the Heartless take over them? Is there another Keyblade master somewhere else? To protect them?" He sighs. "I miss my friends."
His chest aches.
"I have Riku and Kairi. And Tidus, and Wakka, and Selphie... But what about Leon? And Yuffie? Are they okay? Do they miss me as much as I miss them?"
Of course... No answer.
He lolls his head to the side and refocuses his eyes to look at his arms. Sun-tanned arms. The arms of an islander. Sinewy, but he's grown since his first adventure. And his tan arms are covered in almost indistinguishable, pale scratches. Scars. From fighting Heartless after relentless Heartless. From all the times he's fallen and rolled and been hurt...
"Sometimes they hurt," he tells Roxas. "Not usually, but sometimes.."
Roxas is being stubborn.
"Sometimes it rains, and it... it aches." He laughs. "Like an old person, right?" But it isn't really that funny to him. "Hey Roxas?"
Really, why is he trying?
"I know you miss... them... What would you do if they could... separate us?"
Silence.
"Roxas, please. Please answer."
Silence. Empty, reverberating silence.
End scene.
(Finally fixed. Yay.)
Well, that should hold off the wolves for a little while longer. I swear, I'm slaving away as we speak. I hope you enjoyed it, I really do!! See you soon! (Augh, that D