See Chapter one for Disclaimers:
Chapter 2
Chakotay didn't remember much about the next few days and nights, except that they'd been full of broken sleep and strange half images, tears and gentle comfort, full catheter's and warm broth, filling his stomach. When awake they also took him to the therapy pool, to exercise his wasted leg muscles. Only his right arm worked properly as the left shoulder blade had been broken, his arm pulled or twisted from its socket and then pushed back into the broken bone, so that the bone overlapped, not allowing it to heal itself. There was also the possibility that something else might be responsible for the lack of healing in his bone structure. What that might be the Trill medic's had yet to discover; for they were not use to dealing with Humans and their medical problems.
Dr. Hoon wanted to wait until the surrounding muscle tissue had lost some of it's rawness before attempting to reset the damaged shoulder. So Chakotay did his best to exercise it as far as the broken bone would allow him, which meant that it couldn't be stretched upwards over his head or anywhere above shoulder height. He could just about pull his left ear sometimes, making Alyxx smile as she knew it was an unconscious habit he had when perplexed or off balance emotionally.
One morning he was wheeled into the scanner room after his session in the therapy pool. The medic's laid him out on the scanner bed, with his right arm over his head, but the left folded at the elbow at his side, thus his hand resting beside his shoulder on the bed. Hoon stood near him and explained what was to happen.
"The scanner will work around you 360 degrees and give us a three-d picture of your skeletal structure first and then your muscle tissue and finally your upper dermal layers. Just breath easy and everything will be fine. I know many find this machine a bit intimidating and threatening. Might be best if you close your eyes," he added quietly. Chakotay smiled realising the big Gorn was teasing him, but he did close his eyes, for the large machine that would tunnel over and around his torso was a bit daunting. The soft whirl of the scanner caused his heartbeat to increase, yet the gentle toned voice of the senior Trill medical technician telling him to relax and to breath easy as well as to keep still, reassured him. Although the voice had come over a PA system it had sounded natural as though he was standing in the room with Chakotay, which helped him to relax.
"All done," hissed Hoon to the slightly drowsy human male, a little while later.
"Oh? I was just getting comfortable," he said, allowing the medics to assist him in getting off the bed and back into the wheelchair.
"I think you did fall asleep for a while at one point," noted the Trill medical technician, who'd spoken to him earlier in the scanning process. "The results Dr. Hoon; it includes the test results taken from his blood and urine samples," giving the Gorn a data chip. The male Trill with the standard brown spots, smiled at Chakotay with an expression the human male didn't quite understand.
"Thank you, Armel," the Gorn acknowledged and pocketed the chip. "Time for you to have a short home visit," he said, his facet eyes a pale blue and white.
Chakotay was getting used to the colour changes and could most times interpret the mood that the male Gorn was in, but today this was a colour combination he'd not come across before, so wasn't sure as to whether Suaig was unhappy about this visit or something else. He hoped it was the latter as he enjoyed the big green lizard's company, even if he did scold him, but it was usually over something medical rather than personal.
At the apartment a strong pleasing aroma wafted out to meet them as they crossed over the main threshold.
"Hmm! something smells really good," he said breathing in deeply the delicious aroma. "I hope it tastes as good as it smells," he teased the Trill female, who greeted them. The look she threw in his direction told him in no uncertain terms how she felt about his attitude, just in case he didn't understand or get the message, she voiced it also.
"Carry on like that, Mister and I'll send you to bed without any supper," Alyxx admonished and then totally ruined the threat by grinning at him. "Good to see you in such high spirits," bending down to kiss his cheek. "Suaig, you're very quiet, everything alright?" she asked concerned.
"Need to check over Chakotay scanner and chemical test results. I have something to eat later," and with that he disappeared into his study.
"I don't know, Alyxx," he said, before she could ask the obvious question. "I wasn't told," he admitted, his expression sad.
"Nothing we can do about it," she said, shrugging. "Want to eat?" she asked brightly. "Silly question," she noted at the grin he gave her; thus she wheeled him into the dinning area and they ate the stew she'd made of Trill wild fungi with herb dumplings and baby carrots in rich thick gravy.
"Hmm that was really delicious," his tone of voice conveying his appreciation for the meal.
"Considering that you had two helpings, says a lot," she said smiling at him. "Tea?"
"Please. Alyxx did you set up that connection...?"
"Yes, Chakotay I have," she answered carefully from the kitchen area in the open plan dinning area. "I suggest you give it a try tomorrow morning."
"Thanks," he responded, taking the mug of hot tea she handed him, but they both knew it was it was in answer to what he'd asked about also. Quietly they drank their tea together, watching the changing western sky outside.
"Staring at the screen won't change the nature of what you're about to do," Alyxx's voice admonished gently, from one side of him. Around and behind him was a blank canvas screen, so that when the visual connection was made via the com-link, nothing in the background would give away his location to the receiver. "Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked him softly.
"I did promise her," he said, gulping down his panic and unease.
"I'll leave you to it," she said and left. Chakotay breathed deeply and tapped out the destination and name of the person he wanted to contact. As he waited for the connection, he recalled what Alyxx Darkka had told him about this com-link set-up.
"It is routed through the main civilian network so will go through more than one call exchange and the person the other end, must identify themselves to the last exchange operator, before the connection is fully opened. So you will only see the person you are expecting to see and no one else from the same household. It will also prove difficult to trace the source, unlike through Starfleet channels."
Chakotay hoped it would be enough, as he waited for the connection to open, feeling his nervousness growing. Then the screen flashed up 'Com-link established with Gretchen Janeway, Indiana, Earth.' over the Trill symbol and then the screen cleared to reveal the woman's face.
"Hello," he said shyly. Her smile lit up her face which relaxed him.
"Just one moment," she said and got up. He widened the angle and saw her close the door of the small study area and then sits down again in front of the screen. "You are looking well. How are things with you?"
"I am safe and being well cared for," he responded still feeling nervous.
"I'm pleased for you." She could see he was rather unsettled at calling her.
"I would like to contact Tom and B'Elanna, but I'm not sure how they will respond and....."
"I think you know how B'Elanna will respond don't you?" At his nod, she added, "You're not ready for that sort of onslaught, are you?" He grinned ruefully and shook his head this time. "I understand. I'll see how the lie of the land goes?" she said teasingly.
"Thank you. You'll find a data file attached, for download. Please give it to the Doctor....." he stopped his eyes wide and fearful at the sound of the voice he heard.
"Call me again in two days. Gretchen out," she said and cut the connection.
For a moment Chakotay just sat there trembling staring at the blank screen. It was the terminating of the link by his friend Alyxx that brought him back to himself.
"How did it go?" a deep male voice asked, having removed the screens.
"Well," he whispered his voice still in shock. "It went well," Chakotay said, getting his voice and nerves under control. "I'll give her another call in a couple of days," wheeling his chair away from the com-unit to the area's main lounge windows.
"Me think you need two days, just to get courage again," Suaig hissed good naturedly. Chakotay felt himself grin at that observation, looking at the big Gorn.
"I sent the medical file, for the Doctor," he added seriously.
"Good," was the single worded response from Dr. Hoon. Alyxx said nothing, but she watched his body language for the rest of that day, for she could see something had upset him and he wasn't really looking forward to contacting the female Gretchen Janeway again.
Later whilst Suaig Hoon was at the hospital – as he was on emergency call out, Alyxx softly spoke to him, about things pertaining to how she'd met him in their shared past.
"I'll never forget that moment when you caught me at the computer terminal in the history archives. You gave me quite a scare," she said. "I thought it was my boss; one Lieutenant Commander Brooks." They both smiled at the memory. "You had quite a scare today too; didn't you?" she said.
His dark eyes clouded with pain and he turned away from her. "There's no hiding from your sharp green eyes, is there?" sighing resigned. They were sitting close together, his wheelchair tucked up against the open sided settee. Alyxx put a comforting arm over his broad shoulders feeling the soft tremors that shook his body.
"You shouldn't hide from what happened, Chakotay."
"I know, Alyxx. I'm just not ready for it."
"Let's get some dinner on the go," she encouraged, giving him a gentle hug. He smiled and followed her into the kitchen, where they prepared dinner for three, chattering away contentedly about all manner of things, but not what really troubled the human male.
Later that afternoon, she asked him about his journals, thus she collected them form the room he occupied and gave them to him.
"They'd got rather wet that day you arrived here, so I had to dry them out," she explained, revealing how she knew about them. "I didn't peak," her voice stern at his accusing expression.
"I didn't mean to imply...."
"I know you didn't," she said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. "Why don't you start with the first one," she softly suggested. "This one I believe," picking out the dark reddish brown covered book. The binding's main structure was no bigger than a PADD, yet it was thicker along the spine of the book, revealing the well used and filled pages within. Chakotay opened it and read the hand written script inside, noting the date:
"Our first day in the Delta Quadrant aboard Voyager," he smiled at the memory. Alyxx settled on the floor at his feet as he read out loud about what he'd written that first day. "Repairs are going well; most of my crew are finding tasks to do to help Voyager back on her feet. Some resentment among both crews, but that is to be expected. I wonder what she'll do?" he stopped and looked at the page and the name he'd actually written – Captain Kathryn Janeway.
"So she didn't make you her First Officer straight away?"
"No; she didn't. She did take me on a tour of Voyager. It was the way she interacted with her crew that had me thinking of the possibility of serving under her command. Seriously thinking about it," he said remembering, dark eyes distant. Shaking away the memories, he continued to read; Alyxx Darkka politely listened, gaining some insight into her friend and what he'd gone through seven years ago. How he felt about the Maquis cause, Starfleet and putting on that uniform again, Tuvok's spying, Tom Paris, being stranded 70,000 light years from all they'd known and yet he was looking forward to the discoveries and challenges that lay ahead of them. The new people they would meet, planets and places to explore, new sights to see and witness.
"Sounds like quite an adventure you visualised for Voyager," she smiled.
"I suppose I did."
"Did you also see where you fitted into the picture on Voyager?" she asked gently. Instead of answering her, he gave her the journal open at the page headed – My Role!? She quietly read to herself what he'd written and was surprised by the revealing thoughts on the page before her.
When she'd finished she looked up at him and found him watching her face intently, his dark eyes bright with tears.
"What you've written here says you weren't sure of yourself in a Starfleet uniform. But I don't think it was the uniform that bothered you, it was whether you were betraying everything that the Maquis stood for, what you'd been fighting for," as she spoke silent tears slid down his cheeks.
"How you viewed the Treaty that created the DMZ that it was wrong for everyone, the Cardassians and how Starfleet had treated you for being a native of Dorvan V. Chakotay," she said taking both his hands into hers not quite knowing how to comfort him and all that he'd felt he'd lost at that time.
The raw emotions that crossed his face at her words, along with the tears still making silent tracks down his cheeks had Alyxx wondering if he would allow himself to heal and then he smiled at her gaining comfort from her presence and that she understood.
The next day he had a relapse and had to return to hospital more for general observation than anything seriously wrong with him. He knew his emotional well being was affecting his physical health, but the doctors at the main Trill hospital were concerned that something else was also impeding his healing process, just what that was they had yet to discover. Dr. Hoon was hoping that the EMH of Voyager might have a better insight as he knew the Human male known as Chakotay well. Although Hoon was impatient to hear from the Holographic medic he knew Chakotay had to want to contact his former crew mates of the Starship USS Voyager and Hoon wasn't about to push the man, just because he – Suaig wanted some answers. After a comfortable and trouble free night at the hospital, Hoon discharged his patient to return to his apartment.
Once again Chakotay sat in front of the com-unit waiting for the connection to be made. Alyxx in the interim had set up a pre-arranged prefix code, so that all he had to do was punch in the code and the computer did the rest. His eyes were closed when a female voice spoke his name softly.
"Nice to see you again," she said with a smile. "I'm at the home of the Paris'. I had to tell someone and Owen was the right choice. I hope you understand?"
"Yes, I understand," he faltered a moment. "Is Admiral Paris there?" he asked quietly.
"I'm here," responded a male voice, coming into view. "How are things with you?"
"Well enough. The doctors here have some problems discovering why I'm not healing properly."
"We may have an answer to that," Owen Paris said, valiantly hiding his shock at the male's less than healthy glow. Chakotay's dark skin was pale with deep shadows around his troubled eyes.
"Doctor Hoon will be pleased. He's my personal physician," he grinned. "Included with this connection is a code the Doctor can use to send any data files to." Both Gretchen and Owen could see that the male was doing his best to stay calm and converse politely with them, but his unease was all too plain and hurtful to see.
"I'm going to make a suggestion. Something we have both agreed upon," she said looking at the male beside her. "Why don't you correspond by electronic letter? That way you can take your time to think about what you want to say and it will be less time spent on an open channel. A channel that could eventually be traced," Gretchen said.
"Why?" he asked, although it was obvious that he liked the idea.
"We have reason to believe that what has been happening to you is due to the manipulation of events by Teero," said Owen Paris carefully. If they had thought Chakotay's face couldn't get any paler it just drained of all colour at the name of the Bajorian.
"I see," his voice trembling. "I'll contact you again, Admiral Paris," and with that he cut the connection. Gretchen and Owen looked at each other, sorrow in their eyes at the turn of events.
On Trill Chakotay stared at the screen and recalled what had happened on Voyager in the Delta Quadrant, when the Bajorian had used Tuvok to resurrect the Maquis rebellion and what he'd done to her.....suddenly he screamed and screamed. Darkka and Hoon came running, yet he continued to scream, until Alyxx threw some very cold water into his face. He hiccupped and looked at the Gorn and Trill, his body shaking, trying to find his voice.
"Teero," he whispered, hugging himself. "Teero," he said the name with such venom that Alyxx thought he would start screaming again.
"Don't Chakotay," she told him, putting her arms around him. "He's not worth it. And you'll only be allowing him to win," holding his shaking body close to hers.
"I'd like to do this person an injury," hissed Suaig Hoon, his facet eyes a deep pink-red hue. "I may be a doctor and would do no harm, but....." he left the thought unfinished, his hands clenched into tight fists, eyes really red.
Chakotay took comfort from both the Trill female who gently rocked him and the big green Gorn's anger. It also helped him regain control of his own anger and hurt at having been used against his will, yet again.
He slept for most of the rest of that day, out in the warm sunshine on a lounger in the small garden area of the apartment. Fortunately his sleep proved to be dreamless, aiding his bodies need to rest and heal.
Chakotay punched in the new code to connect him with the Paris household, as he waited he wondered if he could talk to Tom or if it would be the Admiral he'd relay messages through.
"Poocuh!" said a voice he knew well.
"Hello, Tom," he responded shyly.
"B'Elanna isn't here. But somehow from what Dad told me the last time you spoke to him and Gretchen, you'll be pleased at that," the younger man grinned. Suddenly his expression changed from jovial to sad and angry.
"Tom, please don't. I'm not ready to face that just yet. I've been reminded that I may never really get over it," he said, rushing to get his words out; it was the longest sentence he'd said of his own accord for sometime and he looked surprised. Tom's blue eyes twinkled mischievously.
"So when do we get our first correspondence then?" he asked cheekily.
"Now," sending the letter he'd carefully written.
"Thanks. Oh yes, the Doctor has sent a reply to your Dr. Hoon?" puzzled by the name.
"In answer to your question, Tom it's in my 'correspondence'," he grinned. "It's good to see you. Better go, write soon," he encouraged and shutdown the connection.
Tom Paris wasn't surprised, just a little disappointed, hearing his wife and mother coming into the house. He closed the com-unit having saved the letter from Chakotay.
"How are my favourite girls then?" he asked brightly, turning to face his wife.
"He called, didn't he?" her tone accusing. Paris didn't know quite how to handle this very angry woman. It was his mother who came to his rescue.
"B'Elanna, you heard what the Doctor said, when you grilled that poor man," her tone light, yet her expression showed her disapproval. "Chakotay needs time to recover in both body and mind. He won't do that if you start throwing cruel words at him. And don't tell me you won't because I've heard nothing else about what you'd say to Chakotay if you'd had the chance, all week. Now enough," she admonished commandingly. By this time her son was grinning at her, whilst B'Elanna looked totally startled and bemused, her daughter nestled in her arms.
"I'd forgotten how forceful you can be, Mother," he smiled. "It's good to be home," giving his wife a gentle kiss on her cheek and then took his daughter into his arms; it was the relieving her of her burden that she spoke.
"I just want him to be here," she said lamely.
"We know, my Dear," Julia Paris said, moving toward her daughter-in-law. "We all do," taking both the younger woman's hands into her own, her grey eyes conveying her concern and understanding. B'Elanna Torres, stepped into the older woman's personal space and was enveloped by her embrace which she returned.
"Let's get some lunch and then the pair of you can take some quiet time to read his letter. Any special lunch requests?" directing her question to her son, her arms still holding the younger woman.
"Pizza?" he replied hopefully. Julia laughed, shaking her head; she gently took B'Elanna to the kitchen. Bemused the half Klingon woman let herself be led. Tom Paris watched them go holding his young daughter who was smiling at him.
"You don't know what you're missing, Little one," he said softly. The girl-child gurgled at him.