I'm in a depressing mood so you get a depressing story. Deal with it. (jk)… oh and remember Chad found the diary awhile ago… yah… that's why she doesn't have it… random…

I never did find that diary that day. But it didn't matter as the funeral day came. I dressed in black that morning ready for a day of tears and 'sorrys' people didn't mean. No one knew what it was like to loose someone. No one. I breathed in slowly, one long shaky breath, and took a seat in the chapel.

I saw my sister's casket sitting up front. It was closed (thank goodness). We were the first ones there because we were family. They had us wait in this little room for awhile, then proceed down the walk way in the chapel, which landed me where I am now. The pastor stood at the podium and began to speak about Allie. He actually knew her fairly well. Pastor Dave was our pastor when we went to youth group on Thursday nights. But we just called him Dave. He was a good friend of mine for awhile when no one else was in my cruddiest year – sixth grade.

"What can I say about Allie," Dave began. "She was strong, brave, but sweet and caring. She would jump in front of a bus for someone, and then walk over to the person and ask if they were OK. Allie cared for her family very much, she was very loving. She died an unfair death – but God chose that time for her."

Dave went on into a passage about leaving for heaven, it was very good. I held back sobs through it all. My mom went up and talked about Allie as a little kid and how she grew up, and then they asked.

"Would any one like to say a few words about Allie?" the room went silent. No one raised their hand or spoke. I knew what I should do. I stood up and walked to the stage. Every eye was on me and butterflies flew in my stomach. I love you Allie.

"Allie was my sister," I began "But she was more than that. She was my best friend. She understood me, she was there for me. She was the best sister anyone could hope for." I suppressed a sob. "Allie played the oboe, a strange instrument I know. But it wasn't strange as much as unique, just like her. It inspired me to start playing flute actually. I always followed in her footsteps. I wanted to go to the same collage she went to, get the same grades she got, and wear the same clothes she wore…" I looked through the crowd. Stage fright cringed in my stomach for only a moment. Tears threatened to fall, but I knew if I started I wouldn't be able to stop.

"But there's a time, a time that you have to let people go. And though I haven't been able to, I am now. I know she's in a better place. I know I'll see her soon. And I know someday I'll be able to call her my hero. And though Allie was the best person I personally ever met, we all have to let go. We all have to get on with life. I'll love my sister forever." I finished and stepped down the podium. Everyone clapped.

I really did have to get back to life. I was back at home now. The funeral was over and tears were streaming down my face as I lay on my bed. I heard a soft knock on my door.

"Come in." I said assuming it was my mother.

"Hey," Said a familiar voice and quickly looked up to see none other then Chad with a frown upon his face. My stomach lept. He looked at the tears in my eyes and rushed over wiping them away.

"Thanks." I said shyly. I shouldn't be shy; he's my boyfriend for crying out loud.

"How did the funeral go?" He asked sitting next to me on my bed.

"I don't know." I said truthfully, "But I do know that I spoke about my sister in front of everyone, and everyone seemed to really miss her."

"Oh." Was all he said, but then he continued "I'm really sorry, if I hadn't already said that, and I don't want you to be sad, but I know that you're going to be. It's just hard to see my sonshine sad. I love you Sonny and I want to be there for you." He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my nose.

"Chad, would you be there for me even if I wasn't in Holly wood?" I asked afraid of his answer.

"Of course, if you were on the other side of the world I would still try to visit you weekly." He answered seriously his arms still comforting me. I loved being close to him, but now I had to tell him.

"Because, well I was talking to my mom the other day and she said how happy she was that I was staying. I wanted to come back, but I was thinking about it and I don't think I do. I really want to be closer to you, but I can't leave my mom. Not now. Not like this." I finished tears threatening to fall again. I loved him so much, but I couldn't leave. I wasn't leaving. I was staying.

"Sonny, I love you no matter how far apart we are. Even though I want you closer to me, 'cause I really do, I know you need to be here. And I knew you were probably going to say that." He said looking at me. How did he know?

"You are the most perfect guy I know Chad. I love you so much." I said in an awed tone. A grin spread across his face and he un-wrapped his arms from me and popped his collar.

"That's how CDC rolls. Nothing less than perfection." He said in his "cool" voice and I giggled at how stupid he looked. He grinned again and quickly wrapped his arms around me again.

"When are you leaving?" I asked him, not wanting him to go ever.

"The studio needs me back tomorrow." He said frowning deeply. I smiled. He looked at me curiously.

"Why are you smiling?" He asked slowly

"Because, I want to give you a present before you leave." I said still smiling.

"Ok…" His arms un-raveled from me as he expected me to go and get him something, but I put them back around me.

"Don't you need to get the-" But he was cut off because Sonny's lips were just crushed on his, and he felt himself smile.

Yah, so a couple chapters left. I hope you liked it, I knew it was kinda really cruddy though… Sorry. I feel cruddy. I had to do the funeral you know… and yah, she's not going back. Didn't see that coming did ya? Please review even if you hated it XD