I couldn't believe that I just said that last sentence. I had been thinking it for like ever. But, even though I guess it was an awesome thing, I realized that I couldn't be in love with him, I could never be with him. It was one of the most stupid things I could do...especially at a time like this. It could get Percy killed, or me! I snapped back into reality and realized that Percy was still standing there, with his arms still wrapped around me, and I could see his eyes watering.
"I know, I 's okay." He patted my back, and comforted me, and I must say, I needed it, "But that last line was very..."
"Forget I ever said it!" I cut him off.
"No, no, that's not what I meant."
"It wasn't?"
"Of course not."
For a second, time froze, and we weren't moving, I was in the middle of a fairy-tale, and I felt just like a princess with my Prince Charming. Then that all stopped. I remembered all the lists of reasons I couldn't let this happen, why this wouldn't do both of us any good.
"But, Percy, you...I....we can't. We just can't! I could name a thousand reasons for us NOT to be together, and one that would repetitively come up would be leading ourselves into death, and I mean-"
"I could think of a million reasons for us to be together, and that would make me forget about all those other bad ones." He cut me off, but I didn't think before responding, just tried to do the wisest thing that I could.
"Percy, you don't get it, it still doesn't make any sense!"
"Ugh!" he grunted, then rubbed the back of his head, looking really frustrated. "Why is it always about making sense with you?!" he screamed at me, "What ever happened to listening to your heart, huh?"
In that single moment my heart dropped from heaven to Tartarus, and I knew that the journey would take more than 9 days. And as much as I hated to admit it, he was right, I never, ever, listened to my heart, and I guess that came with being a daughter of Athena, I never listened to my faith, or hope, or sometimes, even love. I always chose the practical thing to do, even if it meant breaking other people's hearts ... and my own...
I had been so stupid, I mean, I knew how I felt about him, why couldn't I just accept it. Oh my gods, I realized that I had really done it this time. Percy was stomping off to Cabin 3, but I didn't even try to follow him. I figured, what's the use? He already hates me!
So I went down to my own cabin, just to find it flooded with all my siblings, great. This way, if I wanted to cry or whatever, I couldn't. Plus, thanks to me, I had no one to comfort me if I did.