Okay…Next chapter~ You ready for this Chokopoppo?
…I'm not speaking to you.
…Then who just spoke to me? The wind? The earth? The trees perhaps?
…JUST YOU WAIT! VENGAAAAAANCEEEEE~!
…Vengaaaanceeee…Right. You go ahead and wait for that…I'ma write this chapter.
GIR awoke, clutching his head with one hand and his precious piggy with the other. He was dazed, tired and more confused than usual but he hardly minded. The sky shone brightly above his aching metal skull and the earth beneath his feet was abnormally green and life-filled. Flowers waved in a lazy breeze and somewhere nearby a stream gurgled peacefully…
GIR's grin spread itself across his face twice over. "I think we're not the Master's Lab anymore Pigggy~"
That said, GIR dove into the organic life with a squeal of joy and proceeded to rip it apart. Flowers tore underneath cruel metal hands as he clawed through the earth.
"OI! Wha'dya think you're DOIN'?"
GIR turned to see a gnome advancing angrily, his eyes flashing under his comically oversized sombrero.
"I'M DIGGING A HOLE TO NARNIA!"
"GET THE HELL OFF MY LAWN!"
"But look at these cool red shoes I found!"
The gnome colored and clenched his fists.
"THOSE WERE MY MOTHER'S, YOU SICK BASTARD!"
His rage was wasted however, as the small robot had already skipped away, the shoes adorning his head like a pair of oversized ears.
"I LOOK LIKE A BUNNY!" He squealed to the pig clutched in his arm. The pig did not reply, but instead contrived to wet itself.
GIR didn't much notice.
…That's so gross. This is my story, in case you forgot. Please stop grossing out my readers.
Hm? What was that? I'm sorry, I thought that you were done speaking to me, in case you forgot.
…
Besides, this is a collaboration, is it not?
…But I conceived it. That makes it MINE!
No, I conceived it, I just didn't want to do it alone because I'm bored and out of practice…
Nuh-uh! Sure, you decided on the Wizard part, but I brought around the topic AND developed the plot and characters!
Actually, WE developed the characters, because you needed input. That's your fault. In fact, you only had the idea of making a having an invader zim crossplanting. As I recall it, you wanted a Lord of The Rings style one…
Actually, I initially wanted one for Pirates of the Carribean one, but trashed it last minute, thinking it overused.
But that's not the point. CONTINUE ON YOUR STORY, PITIFUL EARTH-WORM!
(…Wow, Zim is already rubbing off on me.)
Hmhm~ Your anger shows me that I have won. And I think I shall, oh small loud mortal.
GIR traveled for a while, oblivious to the many creatures that tried to eat, damage, sell car insurance to or otherwise inhume him. He did not know which way to go, so he simply walked along the smoothest and most convenient path. This path took the form of a yellow bricked road which, while both worn and filled with potholes, was nonetheless easier to navigate than the dense forests that surrounded him. The metaphorical value of this was sadly lost as the robot spotted a figure in the distance.
As he neared, the figure showed itself to be Dib, tied to a post like some sort of Jesus knockoff. He would have looked far more majestic and less bedraggled if it were not for the fact that he was tearing at his entanglement like a trapped wolf.
"HI BIG HEAD!" GIR screamed. "WHY ARE YOU PRETENDING TO BE A CHRISTMAS TURKEY?"
Dib groaned and struggled even harder for a moment, before giving in and slouching sadly.
"I'm stuck, there's straw in my shirt, and now Zim's crazy robot is here…How could this get any worse?" He lamented to the sky. The sky deemed Dib unworthy of speech, and thus remained silent.
GIR was not listening though, because his attention had shifted so that now the only thing in his world was the small red ribbon tied to the base of the stick Dib was lashed to. With shaking hands and quivering eyes, he reached.
…Unfortunately the hand that extended was attached to GIR, and anything attached to GIR was spastic at best and explosive at worst. The effect of this was that while GIR's hand did indeed tenderly caress that lovely strip of crimson velvet, the rest of his body lashed in such a way so that his leg cleaved through the wood just below Dib's feet.
Dib crawled from the wreck of the post, feeling a newfound respect for the small robot. It seemed that the fool was capable of small miracles, if not rational thought…
He brushed himself off and held out a gracious hand. "GIR, I misjudged you. Please allow me to accompany you wherever you may go."
However his kind words were wasted, as GIR was already walking down the road, red ribbon triumphantly tied to his neck. With a sigh and a shrug, Dib followed him.
-
See? That was much better, wasn't it?
Not really. I've never SEEN such a short chapter! Goodness, would it kill you to add a few more words? Or, like, more ANYTHING?
Hmph. It doesn't need to be long, it needs to be GOOD. It's not the size that matters, it's how you use it.
Ooer.
But anyway, I still think mine was waaaay better. Just listen to the cries of the readers! They beg for me! They think your nose is fat!
-coughcoughschitzocough-
I beg to differ. Those fans obviously hunger for more of MY work… And they do not think my nose is fat, however they should be informed that you are not a natural redhead…
…CRAP! I MUST HIDE THE EVIDENCE!
…Myes…While she's hiding the "Evidence" I'll propose something to you, readers. How about you go ahead and vote on which one of us you like better? That person will get to write more chapters and such.
As for how…Well, first you find a virgin, and then you-
I'm back from hiding the evidence! Beastie, are you trying to de-purify MY readers?
….You get the virgin to click on the "Rate and Review" section of the bottom of the page! That's how you cast your vote! You definitely don't write it in the blood of a small child conceived by a violated virgin, oh no….
INVADER ZIM STILL DOESN'T BELONG TO US.