You Found Me

Sawyer had never been one to make friends. Enemies, he made plenty of. But he had never really seen the point in friendship. It had always seemed to him to be a fickle Bitch. People, he had learned, were not naturally kind beings; they were selfish and cruel and not to be trusted.

In his younger years, he was viewed as the cool, yet scary kid who appeared not to care about what others thought about him. Other kids admired him for his audacity and outlandish confidence. In return, he ignored them and thought them fools for not realizing that admiration was indeed the farthest one could get from understanding.

He could have been the classic "Rebel without a cause" if he had finished high school. But Sawyer was not without cause; he had a purpose and a heart set out for revenge. There was no time for childish antics when his parents' "murderer" was still roaming the streets, but there was plenty of time for sex and false romances, for swindlin' and drinking, and the slow destruction of his morality.

Sawyer took a long swig from his can of Dharma beer as he sat upon his porch, feeling slightly content. Here, in Dharmaville, he was nobody. There was no reputation to precede him, no mess left behind to clean up. There was nothing left to do but sit back and watch the sun rise and fall until their two weeks were up.

He watched as a woman, Lily, stepped into a Dharma Van and drove off to a destination unknown. His eyes then traveled to a man, David, heading off to help build one of the new houses for new recruits. David, he discovered, had an embarrassing crush on Lily who was currently shacking up with George.

In this fashion, he would often spend his afternoons, waiting for the newest chapter in the Dharma drama to unfold. Yesterday, Lily had slapped George after he made a rather rude remark about how close she and George had gotten. They hadn't spoken to each other since and Sawyer was starting to get bored. He almost wanted to go up to them and tell them to keep the plot moving, dammit.

But he never did. He knew their names, had memorized their interactions to a science, and watched them at the same time every day, unnoticed. He could easily make friends with them if he tried, of that he was aware. But they didn't know who he really was, and he preferred to keep it that way. He knew he would always be admired or hated, never liked.

"If I didn't know better," a voice said, tinged with amusement, "I would say you are becoming quite the stalker, James."

Sawyer wanted to wipe that silly smirk of her face. "And if I didn't know better, " he hissed, "I would tell you to mind you own damn business, Barbie."

Juliet sat down without an invitation. "But you do know better, James. Because if you did, you know I'd just flip you over my shoulder again, and I don't know about you, but that concrete doesn't look to inviting, does it?"

Remembering the incident sent a sharp ghost pain down his back. "Dammit, Cammy, you ain't never gonna let that one go are you?"

She smiled and Sawyer felt his initial irritation melt away. "What're you doing here anyway? I thought you said you were going to try to convince Confucius to get some fresh air."

She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair in frustration. "Daniel won't open his door. I knocked and knocked for hours and he didn't respond, so I left some food at his door. Miles said he'd try to talk some sense into him."

Sawyer shook his head. "It would be best to leave him alone, Sunshine."

She quirked an eyebrow at the nickname, but he continued. "Man's been through a rough couple of days. He needs to be left alone to think."

Juliet turned to face him, knowingly. "It must be rough, losing the one you love."

It wasn't pity in her eyes, he realized, but a deep understanding. She was suddenly having an odd effect on him and he was beginning to feel nervous in her presence.

"Well," he said at last. "I'm sure I—I'm sure he'll get over it soon."

"Mmhmm," she murmured, wryly.

Suddenly, the spell was lifted, and she was back to being the same familiar smart ass. And his irritability was back full force.

"Don't think you know me. Don't think that you understand me," he growled, narrowing his eyes at her. "You don't know a thing about—"

"James Ford, age 35. Occupation: con-artist. Your mother was shot by your father after he discovered she was cheating on him. You dropped out of the ninth grade and soon became the man you were hunting, romancing gullible women into falling for your schemes. You thought you found your parent's murderer and killed an innocent man the night before you got on the plane. On the island, you fell in love with Kate Austin—"

He grabbed her arm before he could stop himself. "You shut up, girlie."

She wrenched her arm out of his hand as her eyes flashed angrily. "Grow up, James!" she yelled. "I know what you've done, the pain you've caused, how you just love to torture yourself. Your conditions don't define who you are, James. You do. If you want to keep telling yourself how pathetic your life is, go ahead. You can spend your days watching people, or you can actually make the effort and talk to them.

"I may not know you, James. But I know I saw you jump out of that helicopter. And you're not as selfish as you want people to believe."

"Well, that was a nice monologue. Now are you going to pity me, and take me under your wing so I can see the error of my ways?"

She looked confused as she continued. "I don't pity you James. Even though you are so insufferable most of the time, I respect you enough to tell you when you're being ridiculous."

When he remained silent, she started to get up, but was shocked when she felt his hand on her shoulder, gently easing her back down to the porch. "You think David'll finally get the courage to tell her how he feels."

The ghost of his touch lingered on her shoulder, making a little heat rise to her cheeks. "I think she already knows. You could always ask Betty, Miss Dharma gossip, when you've got the time. She knows everything about everybody and seems to have quite the crush on you," she teased.

"She's ancient," he said with a shudder.

"I think she would prefer experienced."

"You're sick."

She raised an eyebrow, "You're the one with your mind in the gutter, James."

He sent her a glare and she shoved him lightly. They sat there, on his front porch and time seemed to escape them as they sat and theorized about the secret lives of the Dharma Initiative members.

Sawyer had remained on the porch after Juliet had left and gone home, thinking of the day's events. Sure, he'd never been one to make friends, but that didn't mean he couldn't start. And heaven help him, one had already caught him unawares and wormed her way into his life.

She had looked past the murdering, con-man, and unearthed a foreign emotion. He trusted her, for reasons he couldn't begin to fathom. And for once, he decided not to question it and let it be.

You better get used to me, Sawyer thought wryly, because you're the closest thing I've got to a friend, Doc.

Miki-hime here! I lied about the length :) I just couldn't help myself.

Due to popular demand, I decided to use the song "You Found Me" by the Fray as my inspiration, as opposed to "Paperback Writer", which I might save for later or scrap that all together. I have all the songs I'm writing planned out and am very excited about writing this story! Right now, I have 100 songs, which I feel is my limit. I'll try to update as much as possible! The chapters are more episodic in nature and may relate to other chapters, as you've seen. I plan to break it up into years, so the first 30 or so stories will occur within the first year, the next 30 within the second year, and the last 30 or so in the last year before the episode "La Fleur".

If you have any song suggestions though, feel free to mention them. If you notice, I am just inspired by the song, but don't follow the lyrics faithfully. The song is really about a man who meets god on a street corner and asks him why he didn't step in when his walls were crashing down. In this story though, I decided to make Juliet the voice of reason rather than someone Sawyer vents his anger on. Next chapter will either be inspired by the song "Ben" by Michael Jackson or "Dancing in the Moonlight" by Ben Harper. I'll let you decide. I really hope you liked this installment! Do you want another dose of Ben (but I won't tell you which one young or old) or do you want a little more fun? Both will be written eventually, but the one chosen will come first. Let me know what you think!

Miki-Hime

P.S: For those who don't know, Cammy (Sawyer's nickname for Juliet) is a hardcore blond character from the street fighter games and movies. She's pretty awesome from what I remember.