Don't sleep.
There is no need to sleep. The man with stupid purple eyes told me so. People like me and him don't sleep. So I didn't sleep. Sleep was stupid anyway. Stupid purple eyes. He looked at me from across the room. I'd hurt him, I'd hit him. Good! Stupid shark man. When he smiled, my blood boiled, and I wanted to smack it away, smack that stupid shark smile away. But I didn't I just looked away, and he kept staring. That was okay, he could stare all he wanted. I was used to it. Stupid white coats stared all the time. Stupid pretty red stared too.
Did he see stupid red? Did he noticed her while we were in that stupid cage? He hasn't said anything if he had. He was patient with me though. When I talked to him, he'd wait through all my long pauses, giving me time to think of what I needed to say. Speaking was so hard, stupid broken brain. It ruined everything. But I was smart! I wasn't stupid, not like stupid red who couldn't run away. I still sounded dead when I talked, but that was okay. I'd work on it. Make it better. Stupid speak, I can talk like those stupid white coats.
"Stupid!" I belted, causing stupid shark man to jump slightly. I tried to smile, but the annoying ticks on my face were too much, so I stopped. Stupid ticks, stupid broken brain.
"Did you just say stupid?" He asked and I shook my head. He chuckled, stupid shark smile. I wanted to smack it away. He sauntered over to me, his long arms swinging at his sides. He was smiling wide, stupid shark smile, he knew I didn't like it. He knew. I glared.
"Don't. . . . . . . . laugh. . .at me." I slowly muttered out and he shook his head.
"I wasn't laughing at you princess. I was just amused by you." He patted my head and then pulled back, seeing how greasy my long black hair was. Stupid night hair. Stupid shark man. "I just wanna know what makes that brain of yours tick."
"Go. . . . . . . . . .away." I grunted and he shook his head, pointing towards a door. I glanced over, stupid shark man, and saw it was a bathroom.
"Go take a shower, I'm about to open the place up, and then we can let you out. I have an outfit for you to wear in there. Your going to work while your with me, understand?" I nodded slowly, standing up off the bed. I looked down at me clothes. They were tattered, and dirty. Stupid clothes, stupid white coats. They could of given me better clothes. Stupid shark man.
"While your out there, all you have to do is take orders, and give them what they need. Okay? You don't have to talk, don't even think of saying a word. Got it?" I nodded again, bossy stupid shark man. He didn't have to be mean, bossy.
I walked towards the bathroom, watching as stupid shark man left. Stupid man. I hated this place, I hated that man. Stupid Greed. When I closed the door, and turned the lock, I glanced into the mirror sitting there. I was ugly. Stupid ugly. My hair was long and stringy, hanging around my stupid face like spider legs. Stupid ugly girl. I was a stupid ugly girl who said stupid things. My face was thin and white, hair hanging in my too wide purple eyes. Stupid purple eyes! I had them too! I touched my sunken cheek, feeling the high bones in my face. Stupid ugly girl! Wash up! Wash up and work. No speak, there was no need to talk. Ugly ugly ugly.
I flicked on the shower and hoped when I got out I'd be pretty.
Like stupid pretty red.
*~*~*~*~*
I stood in front of the mirror after my shower. Smile. I tried to work on smiling. Smile smile smile. My lips would twitch, but they stayed mostly a flat stupid line. I used my hand to move my lips up, but that didn't work. No pretty smile. But my hair was better. No long stupid looking spider legs. Ugly hair. It was long, and straight. Stupid ugly girl. My eyes were still too wide for my face, and purple. Animal eyes. They looked like animal eyes.
Smile. My cheeks hurt from trying so hard. Maybe my stupid broken brain wont let me. Smile. I got scared when my lips jerked up, showing off a long line of white teeth. Not a smile, just scary. Stupid smile. Smile smile smile.
"What are you doing?" I jumped away from the mirror, and grabbed at the towel around me. Stupid shark was standing there, looking me up and down. "Were you smiling?"
"No. . . . . . . . .stupid." I grunted and he laughed. I watched how smooth his face altered from one thing to another. From a calm smirk, he pulled his lips up into that stupid shark smile. It was so smooth. Stupid man! How'd he get so smart! His laugh was pretty too! Not like mine, that sounded like a stupid animal screaming. Not fair!
"I'm not stupid." He fell out of the laugh so suddenly, and his shark smile went away. Stupid man and his stupid smile. He walked over to me, and I got scared. Holding the towel around me tighter. I squeezed my eyes closed, and then felt something cold touch my cheek. I looked over, stupid purple eyes, evil eyes, to find him stroking my cheek. His thumb ran over my bones, smoothing them out almost, and then he pulled away, his stupid purple eyes roaming over the towel.
"Get dressed and I'll get you something to eat. Your too thin." He didn't wait for me to say anything, stupid bossy man! He walked out, leaving me, stupid ugly girl, and then came back with the outfit. It was a dress. A short dress that was ruffled and pretty. Stupid dress. Then he handed me something else, his stupid cheeks flushing. Underwear. I opened my mouth, that loud animal cry slipping out.
"Is that what you call a laugh?" He laughed and I stopped. Stupid man! Stupid mean bossy shark!
"Don't. . . . . . . .laugh. . . . . . . .at me!" I garbled out and he stopped, straightening up and walking out.
"Get dressed and get out here." He ordered and I rolled my eyes. Stupid shark man, stupid smile.
Looking in the mirror, I tired again.
Come on, smile.
Smile smile smile.
Stupid ugly girl, smile!
*~*~*~*~*~*
Loud men. Loud laughing men filled the room. They all looked at me, waiting, and I listened as they ordered, but I couldn't write. I couldn't spell. So I had to tell Greed. I had to mumbled each order. Stupid men. They ordered a lot too. Lots of men, all talking and laughing. They were laughing at me. Smile. They were all talking about me. I knew it. When I'd come out of the kitchen after being with stupid Greed, I'd come to these stupid laughing smiling men. Smile smile smile. I tried but the twitching started to hurt. Smile stupid ugly girl. I handed them their drinks, not really knowing why they didn't get food. Stupid men, they should eat too. They had a bowl of pretzels, but that's not food. Stupid smile, work. Stupid smiling men, laughing at stupid ugly girl.
Greed made me put my hair back, but I kept my bangs in my face. When I got ready to walk away, the man barked out to me. Stupid man. He smelled bad. That drink smelled bad.
"Hey! Sweetheart! You haven't said a word to us, or even looked at us! How the hell did you know who you were serving?" I shook my head as he stood up. I held the tray against my chest, stupid stinky man. Sit down. Speak speak speak. Say something, stupid man reaching out. Touching. Nervous, need Greed stupid man smells bad. Really bad. He's getting too close, and smiling, stupid smile. I squeeze my eyes closed as another hand touches my shoulder. I look up.
"Is there a problem here?" A man asks. Stupid man, I could handle this! Stupid man touching me let go, with his stupid smelly breath.
"Um. . . No sir." He grunted, backing up into the seat. I look at this man, with his blue shirt and pants. Stupid blue man!
"Good. Why don't you come and get our order beautiful." He smiled, and I saw him run his chubby fingers through black hair. Stupid smile. I followed him to his table, seeing people, lots of men in stupid blues, and red. She sat there, looking down, playing with her black top. Stupid red. What was she doing here? I duck my stupid head low, hoping she wont notice me. She didn't see, she couldn't see me. So she couldn't know it's me. I showered, I looked better, not stupid pretty like her, but better. I was clean. Smile smile smlie. Speak and smile.
"What. . . . . . .drink. . . . . . .?" I slowly slurred out and they looked at me kind of funny. No! Now they will laugh too. With stupid smile in their stupid blues. They will show off those smiles, smile smile smile. Speak, don't speak. Greed said don't speak. Smile and don't speak.
"Um. . . How about a few beers?" One pipped in, and I nodded. That's easy. That's all the ordered. Stupid beers and stupid smiles. Speak and smile. Speak speak speak.
"Is. . . . . . .that. . . .all?" They stared at me, some mouths falling open. Don't speak, Greed said don't speak. Red looked up, her brows netting together. Don't look, don't notice me. Smile. But I twitched and nothing happened.
"I'll take a water please." She mumbled and I nodded, quickly pretending to write it down. It was scribbles, stupid sloppy scribbles. My broken stupid brain was too stupid to know how to write. I was stupid. Stupid ugly girl. I walked back towards where Greed was hidden, and he grabbed my shoulders when I walked in.
"What did I tell you about talking?" He barked in my face and I cringed. Glaring evil eyes. Stupid purple eyes. He grabbed my face, his fingers sinking in my cheeks. Hurt, it hurt bad, and I tried to pull away. Stupid staring purple eyes. Let go! Speak speak speak!
"I. . . . . .can. . . . .talk." I slurred and he shook his head, his fingers digging more. Hurts. Pain! Let go! Speak speak hit! Hit Greed, mean stupid shark! "Let. . . . . . . . .g-go."
"No! You stupid girl! I told you Rage, I told you not to talk! You should listen to me, and be grateful I'm letting you live here! Now go out there, and do what your supposed to stupid idiot!" He slapped my face when he let go and I cringed touching the burn spot. Pain, red hot pain. I hated him. Stupid shark man!
"I'm. . . .not . . . stupid. . .don't say. . . . . . .that." I managed to get out as Greed glared me down.
"You are stupid, and as long as you keep doing what I tell you not to, you'll stay stupid, understand? What were the orders?" I glared, I wanted to hurt this stupid shark man!
"I'm. . . . . . . not stupid." I barked out, sounding a little angry. My voice wasn't so flat, and hitched in a funny way when I said stupid. Getting better, my stupid brain is getting better. Talk, speak, say something. Stupid brain keep working. "Beers. . . . . . . . . . .and. . . .water."
"Okay, here. Now go. And keep your mouth shut stupid." He grunted as he shoved the tray in my hand, spilling some on my dress. Stupid shark! My dress is ruined. My pretty dress. Stupid smile, stupid man, I hated him.
"I. . . . . . hate. . . . . . . .you." I whispered as I pushed my way out, but I wasn't sure if he heard me, he just stood there and glared. I walked to the table, trying to smile. Stupid brain work already. Stupid ugly girl, learn to smile. They were. They were laughing, laughing at me. Smiling and laughing at me. They don't like me. I don't like me. Stupid smiles, stop smiling.
I gave them their drinks and shuffled away. I hated them. I hated all of them. Stupid smiles, stupid laughing. I want to laugh, and smile and be pretty like stupid pretty red. Lacey, they called her Lacey. And they all talked to her. They liked her, she wasn't stupid, she talked fast. Spoke smart words. She could smile, smile pretty. Smile smile smile. It was a twitch. Twitch smile. I hated my smile.
Laughing and smiling.
I hate it.
I hated it all.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Angry.
Greed was angry, and pacing. I sat there, watching, rubbing my stained dress. He'd made me change, stupid dress. I was wearing his stupid shirt, it was big and baggy. Hanging from my shoulders, and dipping about halfway to the middle of my thigh. Greed stopped pacing, looking at me, and sighing. Stupid shark man. Stupid dress with that stupid beer stain. It smelled bad. Stupid red was with stupid smelly men. Stupid red.
"It's clear you aren't capable or working for me. So that means I have to get better help just to keep an eye on you." He pointed a stupid finger at me. His was long and bony, not like that mans with his chunky pig fingers. Stupid man, he'd touched my shoulder.
"I. . . . . . messed. . . .up. I. . . . . . . . . .am. . . . . . . . .sorry." I sputtered. Stupid brain. Work faster!
"No. Don't be." He waved me off annoyed, and I sighed. I made him mad. He's annoyed with how stupid I am. Stupid does stupid. I needed to get smarts. Like red, stupid smile, she could talk and smile. Stupid pretty. I could get smarts like her.
"I'm sorry Rage, for being mean to you. Your just. . . .different." He muttered as he fell on the bed next to me. One bed. This room had one stupid bed. It was big, but one. Greed said no need for sleep, no stupid sleep, but I wanted sleep. I went to sleep in that stupid cage with the stupid white coats. I wanted to sleep now.
"Go. . . . . . . .to . . . . ..bed." I struggled out and he looked at me. Stupid shark man. He'd look better with out the spikes, stupid smile.
"No Rage. I don't sleep, and neither do you." He smiled, and I glared. Stupid smile, I want to smile.
"Smile. . . . . ." I whispered and he stared at me for a moment, watching me try and say the next words. Stupid smile, work mouth. Speak speak speak. Stupid brain, work now. Say something, work. Smile. "I. . . . . . . . . . .want. . . . . . . . . .to smile."
Greed sat up, probed by his arm. I watched a stupid smile slip up his face. He's playing fun at me. He thinks this is funny. I glared, standing up, but he reached out, causing me to fall onto the bed, right over him. He hand my wrist in one hand while he dropped his other towards my face. He touched my lips, and then pulled up one corner. I stared at him, stupid shark, and I watched his stupid purple eyes come to life.
"There, now your smiling kiddo." He laughed and I glared. Pulling my face away, I shifted so I was away from him. Stupid shark pervert. I hated him. I hated his smile and laugh. Stupid laugh. Shark teeth man.
"Not. . . . . . . . . . .like. . . . . .that." My voice was still hallow and flat. Stupid voice. Talk faster. Speak speak speak. Walking to the bathroom, I wasn't surprised when Greed stood up, curious. Stupid smile. Work. Smile, looking in the mirror I tried to work my lips. Smile smile smile. It will work. Smile. The corners twitched violently, still not working. I glared.
"Just relax. You don't have to smile." Greed offered but I ignored him. Stupid shark man. He didn't know anything. Stupid broken brain, please let me smile. Smile ugly stupid girl, smile. I watched the frantic twitching and then the upper lip jerk. Stupid lip. It was the scariest smile I'd ever seen.
"Not. . . . . . .pretty." I gurgled and Greed peered in as I attempted another stupid smile. Smile smile smile. Twitching, lots of crazy stupid twitching. Greed's smile slipped in and I glared, growling low.
"What do you mean Rage?" He eyed me through the mirror, those stupid purple eyes. Greed. . . .like those evil eyes in the gate. They were greedy for me. Greed. . .good name for him. Stupid eye.
"Not. . . . . . . . Pretty. . . . . . Face." I touched my skin, and he sighed, rolling his stupid purple eyes. I glared and tried to smile again, but those stupid lips wouldn't work. Just twitching. I made a high pitch screeching noise and slammed my fist hard into the mirror. When I felt the glass slicing into my stupid broken hands, I made another noise. A loud yelping cry that sounded like an animal dieing.
"Oh god! What the hells wrong with you?!" Greed screamed, stupid pain, as he grabbed my stupid bleeding hand. I went to make that horrible sound again, but Greed slammed his big stupid hand over my mouth, muffling it. Stupid pain, stupid broken brain made me do stupid things.
"Rage! What the hell! You'll learn how to smile, don't do that!" He shouted as he flicked on the water, shoving my hands under it, and pulling out the glass shards. Pain, stupid pain, I grunted back another weird sounding screech and watched as Greed's hands moved smoothly over mine. Stupid shark man.
But his hands made the pain go away.
Magic hands.
Stupid shark man.
Teach me how to smile.
*~*~*~*~*
Time.
It took time to get used to Greed. Stupid Greed not stupid anymore. He was nice sometimes, and took care of me. Clothed me and made sure I ate, stupid Greed. Not stupid, I'm still stupid. He let me work a little sometimes, when I was okay, but other than that, I stayed hidden in the room. Stupid room. I hated the room, it reminded me a lot of the stupid cage I was in. Greed had a temper, I learned that, and he didn't always have that stupid smile on when he talked. He would get mad, and get mean. Stupid mean Greed.
He fixed me a list though. A stupid list. It was a list of what I can work on doing. Stupid Greed and his stupid list. He wrote out all the things I wanted to learn. Like talking, stupid broken brain. I wanted to talk faster, and clearer. Stupid talk, speak speak speak. And then there was writing, I wanted to write stuff and draw. Stupid brain, stupid broken brain. And then smile. I wanted to smile, and I wanted it to not be stupid, but pretty. Like stupid pretty red. I wanted a smile like hers. I told him too. And he just looked at me funny. Stupid Greed, doesn't understand. Then there was laughing. I wanted to get rid of this weird belting sound I made, though Greed said he liked it, I hated it. Stupid broken laugh. Stupid brain, stupid Rage.
I still had to slow down with thinking. Greed said I thought too much and never stayed on one thing. I tired, stupid brain, I tried a lot to slow down. It was hard. When I got upset, it got worse, almost too messy to understand. But thoughts were clearing up. I was able to go, stupid brain, to go awhile without having interruptions. Stupid speak speak speak, talk. Stupid smile.
I talked to Greed more. I was getting better. Stupid talk. Stupid says stupid things. I was able to get out more words if I focused on saying it, and he listened and waited for me to finish. Sometimes slowing his words down to make me feel better. Stupid Greed with his stupid pretty smile.
I clung to the edge of the bed. Greed was out with his friends, nice friends, stupid friends. He let me meet them a lot. Talked to a few. I liked Roa. He was nice to me. Stuipd bull man. I even talked to Dolcetto some, he was sweet too. Stupid dog boy! I gritted my teeth, stupid Greed, he made me nervous today, and now I was messing up. Stupid smiling Greed. Stupid friend, stupid speak speak speak. He told me he was going to do something, and he'd need my help. Stupid Greed, he said it was important that I help him at all costs.
I was going too, that's why I was waiting, but I was nervous. Stupid nervous broken hands. Shake shake shake. I growled low, trying to stop all the stupid thoughts. Go away stupid thoughts, Greed would be, stupid Greed. Greed would be disappointed. I knew something was up when I saw all his friends, stupid smiling friends. Roa didn't come in and talk to me. Stupid Roa! Stupid Rage, talk talk talk.
I listened as the door softly clicked and I jumped up, racing towards it. Stupid Greed, he was smiling as he proudly strode into the room. Stupid smile, smack it away, smack it off. I wanted too, but I couldn't, my arms were heavy when I turned and saw the thing. A tin can? Something stupid and big. I watched Roa lumber in, holding the stupid metal thing on his shoulder, having to duck down since he was too tall. He grunted as he flopped the thing over and I stared at the stupid mask face. Not human, like me?
"What. . . . . . .is that. . . .Greed?" I slowly got out and he smiled that stupid shark smile as he walked over, patting the tin head.
"It's Al! Say hi to him Rage." He laughed, stupid laugh, stupid Rage. I walked over, stupid talk talk talk. I leaned down in it's empty face, looking at his red red red eyes. Stupid eyes, reminded me of stupid red.
"Hell-o. . . . . .Al." I managed as I tried to smile. Twitching, stupid twitching. It wasn't working, still, but I managed to get a corner up now. A week, just a stupid week, and I'd gotten a little better.
"Hey Rage!" I screeched a horrid animal sound as I jumped back, slamming hard into Delcetto, he held up stupid arms out, holding stupid up.
"Are you okay Rage? It's just a kid, don't be scared." He chuckled, his smile stupid and warm. I looked back at the can, stupid tin can.
"Not a. . . . . . . real. . . .person. . . .like me?" I asked and Greed nodded his head, a proud stupid smiling just for me. My smile, not stupid Marta's. I glanced at her as she walked in the room, stupid snake lady, get lost. Stupid girl looked like a man. I hated stupid Marta.
"Yeah Rage. He's not real." He knocked on the stupid can, hearing a loud banging echo. "He's just a empty shell, like you and me. And his soul fills it up, like the ones you and me borrowed." I nodded, staring at the boy. Stupid can. He was a real boy. How? Didn't make sense. Stupid brain work. Think think think.
"O-kay." I mumbled and walked to the bed, falling back. I was in Greed's clothes again. Stupid Greed. The ones he never wore, his 'human' clothes. He told me we aren't like stupid humans, we don't have to breathe or eat or anything. Stupid humans. We're empty shells of the person we once were, stupid Rage, and the souls of who we should have been are in us. Stupid broken brain. Why did I get stupid then? Why was I broken and he wasn't?
"Rage, I want you to watch Al. He's all tied up, and I want him to stay that way. Oh, and I want you to be ready to fight. Their coming, I know it." I paused in nodding in agreement, stupid Greed, and stopped playing with the end of his baggy stupid looking shirt.
"Whose. . . . . . .coming?" I slurred out, making it sound close to a question at the end. He smiled just as a big stupid boom exploded the door in. Stupid boom, I looked towards it to see stupid blue man and his greasy stupid black hair.
"Boom." I bellowed out like a low growl from an animal. This made Greed and the others smile.
"That's right princess. Boom." Greed patted my head.
Time to start.
Time to fight.
Stupid fight stupid.
Fight
Fight
Fight!