I don't own anything! Put away your lawyers, please!
Summary:
"When you lose someone, you usually go through the five stages of grief… denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. …I think I may be stuck on the fourth one." He helped her gain back the hope she had long-since lost. IchiRuki; AU
Rating: M (For safety and possible situations)
Genre: Romance/ Hurt/Comfort/Drama
Some quotes are from random books. More are from songs. Others I made up completely.
Inspiration: Inori~ You Raise Me Up by Lena Park, Because of You by Kelly Clarkson, and Saving Zoë by Alyson Noël, plus a lot of other stuff.
Thank you guys so much for the reviews! You're so awesome!
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Chapter eight:
Junsui Na Kibō
Pure Hope
"Are you scared?"
"To death..."
"Lighten up."
"It's not funny."
"I'm scared of not being with you.
"Oh, baby that will never happen... I'll be here."
-A Walk to Remember (Jamie and Landon)
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Rukia: "Hi," I said happily when I met Ichigo at the movies. Now, normally, he would've had to pick me up at my house. But considering the circumstances of my father, I had insisted to meet him here.
"Hey," He said casually, carefree, as always. "What do ya wanna watch?"
I blinked. "Ah… I don't know. Are there any restrictions? Fears or gory things you can't stomach?"
"Uh, nothing comes to mind. You pick."
He really could've thought about this more, you know? "Oh, um… how about The Lovely Bones?" It was supposed to be good, but I don't know. I wasn't even very interested.
He shook his head, "No, sorry. How about the Edge of Darkness? I would've said Avatar, but are you into that?"
"Well, I'm not into Mel Gibson, so no Darkness. And Avatar seems cool, but don't you think it's a bit too… I can't describe it, but… exciting? It's sci-fi, and I'm not too into that." I lied. The fact is, I'd already seen it about a bazillion times.
"Oh, well how 'bout Aria?"
I shrugged. "Yeah, okay." Aria seemed a bit too cliché for me, but if I didn't say yes, we'd be here all night. My Chem. 2 lab partner Mina and her boyfriend had seen it, and she'd said it was about some girl named Aria who finds love, and he's already taken, and there's a four year age difference, and blah, blah, blah.
Like I hadn't heard it all before.
"Okay."
And so it began.
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Next Morning;
Mitsuki: Her name was Hisana. She had a lot to live for, and at the same time, nothing at all. I hated her at first… I was overprotective, some would say. Really overprotective, like borderline obsessed with Byakuya's safety.
She wasn't all that beautiful; she wasn't a feminine Albert Einstein, either. She was ordinary. Average. She was timid and shy and was going to medical school. She wanted to be a pediatrician, be with kids.
I knew, deep in my soul, when I finally approved of their marriage and gave my own little speech when they'd announced their wedding, that perfection wouldn't last. But I didn't have the heart to say it.
She'd always wanted a baby. I could only imagine their kid; my niece. Kind of short, I imagine, like their mother, but they'd have those piercing, icy, but equally kind bluish-gray eyes of Byakuya.
If it was a girl, Mikoto.
If it was a boy, Haruki.
In time, a very short time, even, she became like a real sister to me, and I realized she was the only one Byakuya could ever accept. The only one I could ever accept for him.
I licked my lips, setting down my mug of coffee. It was barely nine o' clock in the morning. I stared hard at my godson, who was too young to feel like he was nothing, and deserved nothing all at once. That was what a midlife crisis was for.
"You okay?" I asked, genuinely worried. Renji crossed his arms defiantly.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
I glared at him. "Don't talk back to your elders."
He stared at me for a moment. "…Did you just call yourself old?"
I grit my teeth impatiently. "No, now shut up, would ya?" Most godmothers wouldn't talk like this; they'd shower their godchildren with money and gifts and tell them how wonderful they were… just like their real mother would.
"Just… just stop, okay? I know how you feel. It's tough being back, going to go see your dad. Trust me, growing up, I wasn't daddy's little girl. I was the disappointment, the loner… sometimes I think they would've traded me for a dog if they had the opportunity." I paused to look at the redheaded buffoon I would always think of as my own, even if he only was ten years my junior.
"Just remember; I know what you're going through." I said, smiling a bit, then getting up and leaving.
I had a meeting with my brother.
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Ichigo: "Look at that," Karin smirked knowingly at me as I came down the stairs the next morning, "I haven't seen you this happy in a long time, Ichigo. What happened last night?" She winked at me, and I blinked.
"What're ya talking about?"
"Oh, you know. Just the fact you got kissed…" She got an evil glint in her hazel brown eyes.
"Shut up. And I didn't."
"If you didn't, you wouldn't be blushing right now. And you wouldn't have told me to shut up."
I rolled my eyes. Why couldn't she drop it? "No, smart one. I just don't want goat-face to hear you... is all."
"Yeah, that's what all of this is about," She said sarcastically with a roll of the eyes. "Don't you worry, bro. Yuzu won't hear about this until you're about to get married, and goat-chin's gonna be dead by the time I decide to spill."
"I trust you," I said truthfully. Karin Kurosaki was probably the sanest person in our slightly deranged family. The reason I say slightly is because of my father. He's the only crazy one.
"You should," She said smugly, walking away.
I smiled.
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Mitsuki: "Hey, bro." My voice was hoarse as I tried desperately to hold the tears back.
"Hello, Mimi."
I laughed almost bitterly. "Oh my God… I can't believe you actually used that nickname! I thought you hated it saying, People will never take you seriously unless you do this with your name and blah, blah, blah… and all that other shit people hadn't taken seriously since fourteen-hundred."
He almost laughed. Instead he just smiled. "Things change as time passes," He was being freaking nostalgic again. Doesn't he get that it's called the past because nobody wants to hear about it half the time?
We were at the cemetery. "Sorry you had to take me, but I didn't want to say au revoir alone." I smiled apologetically, and he waved me off.
"It's fine, I needed to visit anyway."
I licked my dry lips, sniffing, rubbing my eyes in a desperate attempt to rid them of tears.
"My sister. She's already gone," I dropped the single, white daisy. Our flower of 'friendship'. It was something stupid Byakuya and I had made up as kids. A white flower is 'friendship,' a blue flower is 'sadness' and a red rose meant 'passion' or 'love'. I sniffed again, smiling slightly.
"Goodbye."
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March 10th, 2010
8:00 PM
Ichigo: "You're so weird." Was the first thing Rukia had said that Saturday night, and I wished desperately March was over and done with, April was done, and May was gone, so it could be summer already and we could do this every night.
We were at the little grassy area that separated Maple and Tokiko, our neighborhoods. The meadow that was the 'backyard' of the Old Byron House, a manor that's been in Karakura for years. Nobody lived there anymore, so naturally nobody came to the Meadows.
Nobody, except for a few teenagers.
"I know I am, you are too. You better be grateful I'm here, I had to escape through my bedroom window." It had only been a few days since our first official 'date,' if you could call it that. Note to self: to avoid being pounded into next week by delinquent father, never have a night out on a school day.
Rukia sighed, those shiny violet eyes of hers radiating impatience and happiness all at the same time. "Why am I here, you idiot?"
"I don't know. You didn't have to come, I'm not gonna be doing anything."
She stared at me like I was the biggest idiot on the planet, and then sighed exasperatedly. "You… you're too much." She shook her head in amusement, sitting down on the wooden swing that was hooked up by a big, ancient oak. Two ropes, browned and dirty with age, held the swing together.
"Push me!" She suddenly giggled, and I wondered what had happened to her. Last summer, she was unhappy, and seemingly fed up with life. She was quiet, and looked dead every day. I was actually, genuinely worried about her health. Everyone was. But… suddenly, before first semester even ended, she'd changed in the best way possible.
I complied, pushing her in the air. She was really light. She squealed euphorically, and laughed, "Ichigo! Higher!"
I complied again, and a thrill shot through me when I heard her laugh. I smiled a small, reserved, but contented smile, saying, "You're gonna fall right off you runt," And she snorted.
"If I fall off it's gonna be your fault," She said stubbornly, and I smirked.
"Whatever."
We stayed 'till midnight that night, laughing at talking and falling in love.
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Entry thirty-nine
Byakuya introduced me to his sister Mitsuki. She went to a boarding school in California, but is visiting Japan for Byakuya. She's nice, really nice, but I can't really believe they're siblings. She's so happy, so perky, so carefree… it's like life's the best thing in the world, while Byakuya's only wanting to live for the good moments.
She seemed a little put off by the fact we were dating, but she told me later that it was because Byakuya's last girlfriend, Maru, had cheated on him or did something. It really didn't surprise me she'd be so overprotective. I'd be the same with Rukia.
Oh- Byakuya's calling now. Peace.
-Hisana K.
"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." –Marilyn Monroe
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Rukia: Remembering Hisana makes me remember her favorite actress; Marilyn Monroe. She was cool, I had to admit, and most of her quotes made up who Hisana Kuchiki was. My big sis wasn't the saint everybody pictured her out to be.
Hisana's life wasn't boring like mine, she didn't read for fun, she didn't dwell in the past or stew in the present, and she lived for the future. Her life was filled to the brim with boys, friends, sex, parties, and everything in between.
My favorite quote of Marilyn's would have to be; "The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space."
You wanna know why? Because I think I just found that man.
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Byakuya: I stared hard at my… what was that little delinquent, anyway? My god-nephew? Hell, did that make sense?
He had unruly red hair and tattoos of… something all over his face, reaching down god knows how far. I looked incredulously at my sister. Sure, she's nuts, but I didn't think she'd be crazy enough to let him do this at seventeen.
Mitsuki looked at me like I'd grown a fucking second head. "What?" She asked rudely, and my temper wavered. "What's the matter?"
I rolled my eyes, "What's with the tattoos?"
She blinked twice, and then grinned. "You like? He got 'em last year at a friend's birthday. At first I grounded him for a few months, but they're actually pretty damn cool, am I right?"
I blinked, now totally positive my older twin was mental. "No, has Hibiki seen this?"
"Will he care, quite honestly?"
Hibiki Abarai wouldn't care at all. His son could've married a circus clown while living in South American rainforests.
"No. But why didn't you…"
"I don't comment on your mistakes, Byakuya. Don't comment on my parenting style."
"He's not your real kid."
"He's close enough. And how do you know I won't end up meeting a nice guy and having a couple of kids of my own?"
"Because you're you." I admit, that was a little mean, but she was Mitsuki. She had one night flings, she loved the thrill of life, she couldn't settle down enough to get a family. Maybe she'd get married someday, but I know for a fact she'd never have a kid of her own. If anything, she'd adopt.
"Meanie," She stuck her tongue out at me.
That only proves my point, I thought with a sigh. "Well, when are you planning on seeing him?"
"In a couple days. I heard he was in jail last month. What happened?"
"Assault. Whoever it was dropped the charges."
Mitsuki whistled. "Lucky son of a bitch." She snuck a peek at her watch. "Speaking of which, I have a meeting. Buh bye, Byakuya." She gave me one quick half-hug, catching me by surprise.
"What was that for?"
She just smiled, nodding to Renji, and walking away.
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Rukia: It was Monday morning when it happened.
"Rukia, can I talk to you?" Orihime had said, and I could feel my heartbeat quicken involuntarily. I'd forgotten all about Inoue. Did she know? What was going on? My gaze flicked to Dawn, we were in English.
Dawn shrugged, mouthing out, "It's okay," She half-smiled at me. There had been a lot of tension between my friends lately, and it left me wondering what the hell was wrong.
"Yeah, come on," Orihime followed me to outside the girl's bathrooms. "What's the matter?"
She was silent for a long minute, like she was mulling a decision over. "Y-you and Ichigo… you're… together, aren't you? Don't lie to me, Rukia." Her eyes held a certain determination I'd never seen in her before, one that frightened me and made me smile all at once.
I looked down at my old Converse, the ones with the little smudge of purplish-blue paint on the left toe. "I w-wouldn't say we're together," I spoke truthfully, "But we are together," I didn't even think it made sense, but it apparently did to Orihime.
"I see," Her voice was a little hurt, as I'd always imagined it would be, but at the same time, relieved. "Oh, thank you," She flung her arms around my neck, hugging and crying on me. I tensed, obviously uncomfortable.
"Thank you," She said again, her voice barely above a squeak.
I almost smiled. "For… f-for what, exactly?"
"For helping me move on," Was her simple answer, and I nodded to myself. She sobbed again, "I love him, that won't change," She sniffed, "But I know he loves you more."
No, I thought inwardly, he can't. It's not possible.
"H-he doesn't," I argued softly.
"He does so. I can see it in his eyes. Yours, too." She admitted, pulling back. Her stormy eyes were red and puffy, and she hiccupped. "He loves you, Rukia, even if neither of you see it yet." She smiled, and rubbed her eyes in a desperate attempt to stop more tears.
"Orihime, I'm so, so, so sorry." I was. For that one instant, I saw more of a little sister in Inoue than I ever had before. And then, I felt tears stinging my eyes, too. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"
"Stop it." She shushed me, "It's not your fault. You can't help what things do to you. You can't help what fate tells you to do. It's not your option, not your fault."
Fate, huh? I thought wistfully. Seems so nostalgic, nowadays. I attempted a small smile. "Okay."
"Okay."
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Ichigo: "Let us meet her."
I blinked at my younger twin sisters, incredulous. "Excuse me, Yuzu? Karin?"
"Let us meet your girlfriend!" Yuzu squealed happily, and I flushed.
"She's not my girlfriend."
"Oh, fine, your friend who just so happens to be girl," Karin interjected sarcastically, and I glared softly at her. "C'mon, I said I wouldn't tell sis or dad, but you never said I couldn't nod if they guessed correctly. Luckily only Yuzu did."
"You little… oh, whatever. And the answer is no, not unless she agrees to marry me."
"You're gonna marry her?!"
"Lucky son of a bitch."
"No. And Karin, language."
"Awww…" Yuzu bemoaned the loss of her fantasy-me and the woman she doesn't know's wedding. "Too bad, cause you need someone, bro." She shook her head sadly, and then grinned, "At least think about bringing her over, okay?"
"Fine," I wouldn't. My mind was set. As long as the mental guy people called my father was still breathing, none of my girlfriends (present, future, or otherwise) would ever step foot in my childhood home.
"Thanks."
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Mitsuki:
"When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary, when troubles come and my heart burdened be… Then, I am still and wait here in the silence… Until you come and sit awhile with me." I hummed the rest of Lena's song, looking directly at Hibiki, and his lawyer, Drucilla.
"Lovely voice, as always." Hibiki stared at me almost longingly, and I was overcome with the greatest desire to lean forward and slap him silly. Instead, though, I smiled.
"Mulţumesc," I thanked him, wondering if he could figure out what I just said.
"I didn't know you could speak François," Again, I wanted to hit him. He was trying to be smooth. Which, by the way, he wasn't.
"That's Romanian, you ass."
Drucilla cleared her throat, effectively saving me from any and all comments this forty-year old, stupid, uneducated, alcoholic, wife-beating, pedophile was about to make. "Um… may we please compose ourselves? Judge Urahara will be in shortly."
"What? Huh!? Drucilla…"
"Call me Dru, please."
I'd rather not, I thought. She seemed too strict for such a fun-loving nickname. "Okay. Dru. What do you mean judge Urahara?"
"Oh, you know him?" Hibiki asked with honest curiosity.
Forgetting it was Hibiki, I nodded. "Kisuke? Hell yes, my brother's fiancé's old friend's best friend is Urahara." I could tell Dru and Hibiki lost me after 'fiancé's old best friend'.
I was about to explain further, when the door slammed. I stiffened.
"Hey, Mitsuki!"
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Well how do you likey? Nice, I think.
Okay, so here's an overview of the story: Rukia, troubled, haunted over Hisana's death, while Ichigo still blames himself for Masaki's death (although not seen very much in the story). They're growing closer together as Mitsuki and Renji make their entrances. Renji will be going off to college by the end of summer and Mitsuki's fighting for custody rights until he leaves. (Something RenRuki friendship/one-sided romance will happen later!)
Please review!
Thank you all!
-TMU