All Along the Watchtower
Juliet had always prided herself on the fact that she didn't scare easy. When she was little, she would watch horror films at night with all the lights turned off without a problem. To her, the plots were badly contrived and impossibly unlikely. She never felt fear because she knew the terror was contained within the television screen or book she was reading and no force on earth would be able to extricate it.
Even on the island, in all its mysterious glory, she had never lost her cool. Her intense anger toward Ben had completely overshadowed any fear she may have felt. She knew it was trapped somewhere within her, but she refused to acknowledge it. Eventually, she would have to face it, and when that time came she wasn't sure she would be ready.
As she stared at the eerie red message on her mirror, she suddenly felt all her fear consume her at once, prompting her to collapse on her bed with her head in her hands. She couldn't bring herself to believe this was actually happening to her, just when she was beginning to enjoy her day.
"Hey," she heard James whisper softly next to her. When she didn't respond, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her flush against his chest. "You ain't got nothin' to worry about, sweetheart. I won't let them hurt you."
She felt pathetic sitting there, reverting to her meek and feeble self. Half of her did not want to let him see her like this, but the other half wanted to just relish in his strong, warm embrace.
"I'm scared," Juliet admitted as she gripped the sleeve of his jumpsuit urgently. "I can't believe a little thing like this is scaring me. It's probably just a practical joke or something…"
She could feel Sawyer shake his head, and she lifted her eyes to meet his in response and was surprised at what she found there. If she had been anyone else, she would have missed it, but she knew him better than most. A crease formed between her eyebrows as she hesitantly lifted her palm and gently held his face in her hand.
"You're scared too," she said softly, her eyes searching his face. Her thumb moved back and forth across his skin as she thought about it. "You're scared and you're hiding something from me."
He reached out his hand to cover hers and gently lifted it off his face. She watched his index finger tap the back of her hand, as it always did when he was nervous about something. He sighed and looked up at her, his face suddenly tired.
"We met with Richard over at the sonic fence a few days ago," he said at last, refusing to meet her eyes. " 'Said our people weren't safe, but he wouldn't tell us why. Then the son-of-a-bitch apologized for not being able to stop it and that one of our people was going to die.
"Horace ordered that everyone should remain in groups of two throughout the day and keep an eye out for anything strange. Since you're the only person without a job, he had to send someone to watch over you. I volunteered to do it," he said looking up at her, a sudden angry glint in his eye, "but that bastard beat me too it. So I was stuck sitting at the security station with Phil all day."
"So why did you come home so soon?"
Sawyer suddenly looked embarrassed and Juliet wished she had a camera with her to capture the rare moment. "I really didn't trust that guy to watch over you and I had this feeling that I should come back and check on you. Ever since you slammed into that tree, I don't question intuition."
His eyes softened and his hand played with the ends of her hair absently. "I don't think I've ever been so damn terrified. So help me if anything should ever happen to you."
For a moment, she almost let his words carry her heart to a place where she couldn't control it. He wasn't the most eloquent person and his voice was anything but coaxing but, somehow, she had never felt so moved.
And that feeling scared the hell out of her more than any bloody, threatening message could.
Juliet cleared her throat and turned to look at Sawyer all traces of fear suddenly wiped away. "I suppose the only thing left to do is to put me on the next sub."
His eyes flashed angrily as he asked , "Are you out of your mind?"
"We've been playing this game for months, James," Juliet said, pulling her hand out of his grasp and refusing to look at him. "Now is the time to finally stop. You and I both know that this isn't the safest place for me anymore. "
He chuckled humorlessly. "If you think I'm going to let you leave—"
"Let me leave?" she asked, astounded. "Since when has this been your decision, James? Who are you to tell me what I can and cannot do?"
"Well, right now, I'm a security officer and you're ain't nothin' but a civilian, so you'd best listen to what I tell you!"
Sawyer shouted. He stood up and his body easily towered over her. His eyes seemed wilder than usual and his breathing had become erratic. For the first time, Juliet actually felt a bit scared of him.
She took a deep breath and stood up to face him, her heart pounding uncontrollably in her chest. "I don't care who you think you are. I know who you are, and this isn't you. The James I know would never speak to me like that. He would never willingly say things to belittle or hurt me. He knows I've been kept in a glass box for three years, treated like a useless doll and he knows I would rather die than be placed back inside it. How dare you…how could you…"
"Maybe you never knew the real me, Juliet," Sawyer said with a sudden intensity. "If you think I'm just going to stand here and let them hurt you then you really don't know a damn thing about me."
"Why do you always feel the need to protect me? I don't need to be saved! I can take care of—"
"No matter how strong you may think you are, you're not invincible!" Sawyer yelled, throwing his arms up in frustration. "Everyone needs help at some point in they're lives. It doesn't mean you're weak, it means you're human and there ain't nothin' wrong with that.
"You're always caring about everyone else. It's about time you let someone care about you too," He sighed and suddenly looked more tired than Juliet had ever seen. "This ain't just your fight bambina, this is our fight. We're gonna win this one together whether you like it or not."
Juliet raised an eyebrow in spite of herself before asking, "When did you turn into an after school special?"
"When you decided you were old enough to watch them," he retorted. Today he just wasn't having it, and Juliet shrunk back subconsciously in response. Noticing this, he sighed for what seemed like the umpteenth time. "You're going to get through this. We're going to get through this, you hear me? "
She took one last glance at the sinister writing, its crimson letters taunting her. Then she turned to look at Sawyer, and found herself hypnotized by the sheer determination in his eyes. It was then that she knew she was fighting a losing battle for sure.
"Fine, I suppose you win," she said. Despite her defeat, she didn't look down or show any signs fr relenting. "But I hope you know that once this fiasco is over, I'm leaving this place. I've had enough, James. You have to promise me that you'll let me go."
"No can do, sweetheart. You and I know that is one promise I can't keep," he said. For once, there was no hit of the playful twinkle in his eyes or the slight smile on his lips. "If you outsmart me, fair and square, then I won't try and stop you from leaving. Otherwise, I can't promise a damn thing."
"Why are you so hell bent on keeping me here? Why don't you just let me leave?"
Sawyer paused for a long moment, throwing the question around in his head and probing his mind for some semblance of an explanation. He knew the answer to her question whether or not he was ready to acknowledge it. Somehow, over the last few months, he had come to rely on her. They had fallen into their friendship and it had been as easy and natural as breathing. He valued their connection, their friendship. Sure he had a bit of a crush on her, but to him, that was more of an afterthought in the grand scheme of things. Regardless of their relationship or what their relationship could possibly become, if he lost her, if their friendship were to end, he knew he would be devastated.
This he knew, without a doubt. However, he was still Sawyer, and though he admittedly had soft spot for the beautiful woman in front of him, he was not ready to put his pride on the line and admit his feelings to her.
"You ain't got no sense, that's why. If you did, you would've realized that you can't survive in the real world. You can't be somebody out there, Juliet, and the sooner you figure that out, the better."
He could tell his words wounded her, and for a moment her there was a glint of sadness in her eyes. Before he could attempt to console her or retract his statement, she recovered in record time. Her eyes held his own in an icy stare. He flinched almost immediately and turned away. Gone was the warmth, gone was the acceptance. She looked at him as though they were strangers again, enemies even.
"It's funny, how you two have become the island's moral police…"
It had been quite some time since she had looked at him like that. Back then, he had wanted to grab that suitcase from her hand and knock her out, yell at her, anything to show her that she was wrong. How dare she look at him like he was some kind of monster when her people were responsible for so much of the emotional tumult that he and the other survivors faced.
Now, he knew that , in many ways, she had been suffering too. Suffering in the same way she was now, after hearing his careless words. He had done it to protect his pride, protect himself from relinquishing any control to her. If he ever told her the truth, he would relent. He would be hers, whether she realized it or not.
He'd opened his heart and let himself be vulnerable once and that had turned out to be an unmitigated disaster. There was no way in hell he was going to make that same mistake again, regardless of how being with her made him feel.
Despite the icy intensity of her glare, she pulled away first. With an almost robotic precision, she stood up, smoothed down her jeans, and began to walk towards the door. It struck him how empty she suddenly looked, as though the fight had drained out of her.
"Juliet—" he began as he grabbed onto the thin material of her top.
She jerked away as though burned, still refusing to meet his gaze. "We should tell Horace about what happened. I'm sure he would want to know so he can figure out what to do next."
"Now wait just one minute—"
"Don't, James," she softly. He could tell her wall was slowly crumbling as she spoke. "Just don't."
He let her brush by him and followed her silently. This had been what he had wanted, a little distance, a little time to catch himself before he fell yet again. He had yet to pick up the pieces from the last time and doubted if he'd ever be able to piece his heart back together since she still held some of the pieces.
They were becoming too close for their own good; he knew he needed to push her away for both their sakes and he had succeeded. Yet now, strangely enough, he did not enjoy this small victory. Triumphs against her, verbal or otherwise, were few and far between and this, in terms of impact, was his greatest yet. Yet, he did not feel triumphant as he watched her mechanical stride; he felt lost, empty, and most of all defeated.
"This is a nightmare," Horace said, pressing his palms against his forehead. "I never thought they would actually go so far."
As he looked up, fifteen pairs of eyes stared back at him. He glanced around the room quickly, noting the apprehension and fear in even some of his best security officers. They weren't to blame, of course. The situation was entirely new to them; they had every right to be afraid. Within the next few days, any one of them could be killed by the rouge "hostiles". And they weren't awarded that particular moniker for nothing.
Yes, he thought, it was perfectly natural for them to be scared even though they weren't in immediate danger. It was even more natural for the targeted woman to feel terrified, maybe even helpless. However, the woman in question seemed eerily calm. It was as if nothing traumatic had happened at all and instead of an emergency security briefing, this was nothing more than a Sunday book club meeting.
She leaned forward in her chair, placing a delicate hand under her chin in thought. "Though this is a bit of a surprise for me, I would hardly think their course of action is in any way peculiar."
They all gawked at her, but whether it was from her choice of words or her quiet beauty, Horace was unsure. She glanced up at him, ignoring meeting only his eyes. "They are called "hostiles" correct? They're just living up to their name, I suppose. That shouldn't come as a surprise. We should be more worried that they infiltrated the living area and were able to somehow get into my house unnoticed."
"No offense, sweetheart," said a rather burly man named Tom, "but who died and made you Queen?"
There were a few stifled chuckles at his remarks. He smiled arrogantly, thinking he had silenced her. Another man, three spaces to his left, clenched his fists angrily and opened his mouth to retort.
"No one," Juliet said, still maintaining her composure amazingly. "I'm sorry, it was stupid of me to think that I should have a say in anything. I mean, it's not like I'm a target. I'm not in any actual danger. This is just how I love to spend my Friday nights, sitting in on security meetings that I have no business being a part of."
Tom shrunk back in his chair slightly, feeling ashamed. However, she didn't stop there. "Why don't you forget about your obviously over inflated ego for just one moment and actually focus on what's important here: the safety of every man, woman, and child living here. That is your job, right? Or are you at the wrong meeting?"
The man, who had been fully prepared to fight, merely smiled and sat back in his chair. He had almost forgotten that the extraordinary woman sitting across from him was perfectly capable of taking care of herself.
Horace smiled at well, but his smile was slight and much less obvious. He didn't want anyone to think he was choosing sides or anything. Clearing his throat, he turned toward the woman once more and asked, "What do you propose we do next?"
Juliet raised an eyebrow, not used to the sudden attention. "I think the person responsible had an accomplice, and that person is most likely a part of the Dharma Initiative."
Her words caused an uproar amongst the security team, causing Juliet to roll her eyes at their idiocy. "I'm sure it was all on your minds, I'm just the only one with enough gall to say it out loud, I suppose."
"That's quite the hefty accusation, woman, " a blond man with fly-away hair said, picking his teeth with a finger as he spoke. "Maybe you should think before you speak."
"I am aware of my gender, I don't need you to remind me," Juliet said, glaring at him. "And maybe you should conduct yourself in a more respectable manner, Dave. I wonder if you ever learned the basic concepts of etiquette and respectability."
His temple twitched slightly in anger. Horace decided he needed to end this meeting fast if he didn't want these people fighting amongst themselves.
"You may be right, Juliet," he said, raising his voice above the angry chatter. "I believe we should have someone stationed outside your house at all times. We'll be ready for them should they choose to attack again. We'll also have to increase the night watch at the Flame station as well."
"Horace," said a distinctive southern voice. "She should move in to my house for the time being. I'll take care of her—"
"That won't be necessary, Horace," said Juliet, effectively cutting him off. "Having someone stationed outside my house is intrusive enough. I wouldn't want to deter Lafleur from his job."
Interesting, Horace thought, raising an eyebrow at her slightly indignant tone. Very interesting indeed.
"I suppose that's all we needed to discuss. I can't stress enough the need for heightened security because of this threat looming over our shoulders—"
"Our shoulders, Horace?" asked Dave, scowling. "If you ask me, the threat has nothing to do with us and everything to do with Blondie over there. We should just throw her to the wolves and our problem would be solved in an instant. I mean, it's not like she's really a part of the Initiative, what with her sitting on her ass all day being pampered by that southern bumbling idiot."
Sawyer bristled once he realized the insult had been directed at him. "You watch your mouth there, pretty boy, because once I lay a finger on you, your mother won't even be able to recognize you."
"The 'southern bumbling idiot' you see before you is a million times the man you'll ever be, Dave," said Juliet, angrily. "You want to throw me to the wolves. Go ahead. I dare you, you worthless son-of-a-bitch. That's between you and me and has nothing to do with James."
She shook her head, struggling to regain her composure after her bout of anger. "You all are supposed to be security guards, but all you seem to care about is self-preservation. You don't have to like me, but you damn well have an obligation to this organization and the people involved in it, which, I'm sorry to say includes me. So stop treating me like your enemy just so you'll have an excuse not to do your job."
Juliet stood up, purposely evading the guilty faces of the men before her. "I think I'm done here Horace. I'm sorry this meeting had to end on such a sour note.
"Don't apologize, Juliet," Horace said, smiling. "I think you told them what they really needed to hear."
Juliet nodded and turned to walk away. She heard the rustling of chair cushions behind her indicating someone was planning to follow her out the door. Ignoring this, she continued to make her swift exit.
"What a bitch," she heard a voice whisper loudly from behind her.
Juliet turned around and glared at the man responsible for the outburst. "What did you—"
Before she could even blink, a man's fist, seemingly coming out of nowhere, collided with the offender's face. The man's moan resonated throughout the silent room.
"I thought I told you to watch that damn mouth of yours?"
"Mr. Lafleur, I must say that I don't condone violence of any form amongst my security team," said Horace reproachfully. Though, if one looked closer, they would see that he was hiding a smile. "Control your temper next time."
"I'm sorry," Sawyer said in a mock apologetic tone. "My fist has been attracted to assholes lately. I'm not fully accountable for its behavior."
"Excuse this idiot," said Juliet, looking annoyed. Then she smiled slightly and added, "However, I do agree with him. The 'pretty boy' deserved it."
Juliet grabbed Sawyers elbow gently and began to lead him out of the room as if he were a child. She simply couldn't allow him to do more damage than he already had. "We'll be taking our leave now, Horace. Sorry for all the trouble."
She waited until they were a few feet away from the house before she rounded on Sawyer. "What the hell did you think you were doing? Are you trying to get yourself kicked out of here?"
"I could say the same for you, wiseass," he said, smiling. "Your tongue was so sharp it could have cut stone back there. It was one hell of a fight you put up back there."
"In this day and age, many men don't view women as capable beings. They view them as beings of lesser intelligence for the most part. It's a bit of a shock really," she said angrily. "What's your excuse?"
"For what?"
"You don't live in this era, ergo, you don't have an excuse to treat me the way you did, James. I can make it out in the real world. If I've learned anything while living on this island, its how to survive and persevere. Don't tell me I can't… don't you dare tell me what I'm capable of."
Sawyer's face softened at her words and he hesitated before reaching out to gently cup her cheek. "I know I hurt you, Juliet. I'm sorry for that. I'm not used to being so close to someone. I don't care for people often or have people care for me. I tried to push you away to save myself and to save you. I'm gonna' cause you a lot of pain, because I am who I am. I hurt the ones I…I care about. It's a habit that I don't think I'll ever break."
He reached behind him and broke the stem off of one of the unfortunate flowers in Horace's garden and held it between the small space between them. "I'll make it up to you, whenever I mess up."
"By stealing flowers from Horace?" she asked, ever the skeptic, hands on hips. Yet, she took the flower, a daisy, from his hand and pressed it to her nose. "I appreciate it all the same."
"You know, I don't believe in all this flower poetry stuff, but I read somethin' recently. Daisies, they mean faith," he said as he gently pulled the daisy from her hand and placed it behind her ear. "I'll have faith in you from now on, Juliet. Doesn't mean I'll stop protecting you though."
"I'll hold you to that, you know."
"You sure as hell will," Sawyer said, smirking. He then squinted at her nose and reached out his fingers to touch it. "Hold still."
"What?"
"You've got a firefly on your nose."
She crossed her eyes to get a better look and giggled a little as a bright yellow light enveloped her face. "Don't you have to make a wish on these things or something?"
Sawyer shrugged as he held the little bug in his hands. For a moment, he had the urge to crush the bug under his fingers, as he had done a few months ago with Hurley's tree frog, but then he remembered the smile on her face, the adorable crossed eyes, and that giggle, and couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead, he allowed the insect to fly away, lighting up the sky as it escaped.
In spite of himself, he closed his eyes and wished, wished that she would stay with him. Like the firefly above him, she provided light and warmth in his life, allowing him to forget the darkness that lay deep within him.
"What did you wish for?"
He opened his eyes, suddenly feeling embarrassed for his actions. "I was just thinking about something. I wasn't wishing for anything."
She gave him a knowing look, but decided to let the matter drop. "You want to know what I wished for?"
"I guess."
"I wished for many more moments like this," she said wistfully, staring up at the dusky sky above her. "I want to live to see—"
"You will," he said suddenly. He placed his hands on her shoulders firmly and held her gaze unwaveringly. "You don't have to wish for it, Juliet. Nothing will happen to you. I'll fight all the battles you can't or won't fight yourself."
She smiled, thinking of a fond memory. "I guess Dave's an example of that?"
"I'm serious," he said. "I want you to know you can trust me to be there whenever you're in danger. If anything ever happened to you, I'd never forgive myself."
She didn't know how to respond to that, so she simply nodded and began walking in the direction of her house to avoid meeting his eyes. He fell easily into stride with her. The silence between them was welcome as his words spoke volumes within their minds.
Juliet hooked her elbow with his loosely as they approached her house. Sawyer could see the fear in her eyes, and feel it in her heartbeat. He wished he could make it go away.
"Stay with me," he said suddenly. "I'm not offerin' because I don't think you can take care of yourself—"
"Okay," she said simply.
"Wow," Sawyer said, looking surprised. "I didn't think it would be that easy. I was almost certain you would put up some sort of fight and that I would have to drag you away from this place."
She pointed to the daisy in her hair with a smile as said, "Faith, remember?"
He tugged on her elbow and her head collided with his shoulder as a result. Juliet watched as he leaned his face slightly downward to reach her height. She closed her eyes as he gently brushed his lips against her forehead, his whiskers tickling her nose. When she looked up, he was looking down at her with an odd expression on his face she couldn't quite place.
"Thanks for never giving up on me, Juliet," he said softly.
Still in a daze, she simply nodded and allowed him to lead her in the direction of his house.
Unbeknownst to them, a pair of green eyes watched the entire scene with interest, logging the new information carefully for later use.
Hehe. Hi. Sorry that it's been such a long time! Don't kill me! It's been a rough couple of weeks. I'll keep it short and sweet. This chapter was inspired by one of my all time favorite songs, "All Along the Watchtower". While this song is originally by Bob Dylan, I love the Jimi Hendrix version so much more. Even Bob Dylan thinks Jimi's version is awesome! This chapter provides opinions all along the proverbial watchtower surrounding Juliet and the new situation with the hostiles. I treated you with some fluff as well. I just couldn't help myself. This arc will last a few more chapters then I will go back to the more episodic style of writing. There may be more arcs to come! I'll try to update sooner. Don't forget to let me know what you think and I appreciate all the support!