You Raise Me Up Chapter 11: Couldn't Be More, a bleach fanfic

I don't own anything! Put away your lawyers, please!

Summary:
"When you lose someone, you usually go through the five stages of grief… denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. …I think I may be stuck on the fourth one." He helped her gain back the hope she had long-since lost. IchiRuki; AU

Rating: M (For safety and possible situations)
Genre: Romance/ Hurt/Comfort/Drama

Some quotes are from random books. More are from songs. Others I made up completely.

Inspiration: Inori~ You Raise Me Up by Lena Park, Because of You by Kelly Clarkson, and Saving Zoë by Alyson Noël, plus a lot of other stuff.

Thank you guys so much for the reviews! You're so awesome!

I don't own any of the songs/quotes/book titles/authors in here, either!

Oh yeah, and I'm changing Byakuya's age a bit. Sorry! Instead of being 9 years older, he's only 7 years older. Hisana's age stays the same, though. Sorry, it's just so Dawn and Byakuya's relationship isn't as taboo.

This chapter is for all the couples, so I hope ya like it!

Songs include:
Ichigo and Rukia- Couldn't be More by Derek Daisey (It's cute, and I thought it really fit them. Especially the line, Some silly book or test can't define you. Because it seems they want to find 'themselves' all the time.)
Byakuya and Dawn- Found Out About You by Emily Osment (IDK. I think it fits Dawn and her past better (You'll find out more later). But, eh… I couldn't find any other song.)
Ishida and Orihime- None. (Lol, I'm sorry, but I couldn't find a song. If you guys can suggest one, I'd love to hear it and edit this chapter later!!)
Tatsuki and Renji- I Can't Break it to My Heart by Delta Goodrem (Basically, Tatsuki can't face the facts and tell herself Renji is STILL caught on Rukia, and she likes him. But don't worry! They DO GET TOGETHER LATER.)

I pretty much split RenTat's song in half. Sorry, but I couldn't figure out how to move on.

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Couldn't Be More

The nicest thing for me is sleep, and then at least I can dream.
-Marilyn Monroe-

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Entry 42

Something happened over the weekend, so I'm sorry I haven't written anything. Let's just say what I did is so private, so personal, so downright scary, I can't even write about it in my safe haven. So sorry.

I really am. I'll write more later. Maybe, maybe not. I don't know. Bye.

Hisana Kuchiki

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"Evening, Mr. Kiyoshi," Ichigo smiled a bit as Rukia's father stared at him, emotions unfathomable.

"Good evening. May I ask why you're here?"

"I'm… ah; I'm here to see your daughter, Rukia. We have an… English assignment," He lied quite easily, putting on a handsome grin. Rukia's dad blinked, nodding, and then sighing.

"Okay. Come in." He moved out of the way to let him in, and then proceeded to walk sluggishly up the stairs for his daughter. Something Rukia had warned him about echoed in his mind.

"My dad's dead. Well, not really, but he might as well be. He's a fucking loser. You'd think he'd be able to move on with his life. He had more losses than I have, yet I'm the one who has to go to therapy. He's an idiot."

Ichigo shrugged, waiting, walking around the living room.

Very nice, he thought with a small smirk, looking at the polished, oak bookshelves filled to the brim with Nora Roberts, Anne Rule, Nicholas Sparks, and Stephen King. The flat screen TV played some old rerun of Austin Powers. Then there was computer, and everything else set in the medium-sized living room.

He sighed.

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Rukia: I'm sure I looked like a bit of a brat, stomping down the stairs like a maniac.

Ichigo smiled smugly at me. "Hey, how's it going, Cinderella?"

I snorted. "Shut the fuck up, you asshole."

"Ooh," He whistled, "You're so cruel, my little ice princess." He joked, grinning. I glowered at him. He shrugged his shoulders.

"Sorry, babe. Payback's a bitch, isn't it?"

"Don't call me that," I snapped, brushing past him. He's too much of an idiot to call me babe. I mean, midget is one thing. So is Shorty. But babe… is just… ewww. And plus, it's too overused. As much as I hated his nicknames for me, I loved the way he used them. I turned swiftly, smiling. "But I think you can make it up to me."

"I already took you out for ice cream," He moaned, dragging his feet over to where I stood. I grinned like a maniac, taking him by the hand and pulling him out the door.

"That was your idea, not mine, remember?"

"Yeah, one of the worst ideas I ever had," He grinned devilishly, pulling me close.

I smiled flirtatiously, blushing. "Maybe we shouldn't be here. You know, in case my father decides to drop in." Dad may have been loaded up on Prozac, beer, nicotine, and any other thing that he could get his hands on, but he was still a dad that wouldn't hesitate to break my boyfriend's arm in half.

Yeah— I was actually comfortable enough to call him my boyfriend, now.

Or maybe it's because he continuously calls me his girlfriend, but whatever. I can't say I didn't like it. A lot.

"Maybe we should," He agreed wholeheartedly, and we walked out the door, hand in hand, to God only knows where.

Aren't you rushing things a bit? Some inner part of me asked with a small sigh.

No, I thought back, grinning as we started running. I'm not. He's perfect. Smart, athletic, handsome, somewhat nice most of the time… Maybe he's too perfect for me. My grin faltered, but I quickly regained my confidence, and pushed my uneasiness aside for now.

Mmhm. The little voice sounded unsure, like me. If you're so sure, take the leap. I just hope he can catch you in time.

I didn't want to respond.

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Byakuya:

"Bonjour, Céline. Comment avez-vous fait?" (Hello, Celine. How have you been?)My French was not a pretty sight, but she understood me, and that was good enough. Celine laughed, and like always, it seemed over the top and forced.

"Je vais bien, Byakuya. Votre français s'est améliorée depuis que je t'ai vu. Oh, et j'ai entendu parler de ta femme. Je suis désolé." (I'm fine, Byakuya. Your French has improved since I last saw you. Oh, and I heard about your wife. I'm sorry.)

I shook my head, giving her a soft sigh. "It's quite alright," I murmured, and she nodded sadly.

"She seemed like such an amazing woman, your wife." Her voice was thick with her French accent, and she flipped some of her graying, black hair over her shoulder.

"Not yet. She wasn't my wife yet. I proposed, but we would've had to wait. We would've been married this spring," I smiled, lost in my past.

Celine just nodded sorrowfully, her smile apologetic.

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Ichigo: "Do you know what today is?" Rukia looked at me, her eyes not their normal bright, happy blue. They were blank, almost. Unfathomable. I shook my head, no. She smiled. "Today's Hisana's birthday."

April nineteenth, I thought solemnly. April nineteenth is her birthday. "I'm sorry."

She smiled, but it was dull and overused. "It's fine," She sounded so tired.

"Come on, let me take you home."

"No way, buddy boy."

"And why, pray tell, not?"

Rukia grinned. "I don't want to leave just yet. I'd just end up leaving through my bedroom window anyways, so what's the use, quite honestly?" She looked at me with an expression that clearly said 'duh,' but I thought nothing much of it.

"Fine, let's go to your place." She finally said, and my eyes widened over dramatically.

"No," I said quickly. "My deranged family's not goin' anywhere near you," I shivered at the thought of what would happen if they were given more than two and a half minutes with her.

"Why, thanks for protecting me," She spoke sarcastically with a playful smile. "So, if you don't take me to your house, and I don't wanna go home, what're we going to do, pray tell?"

"Stay here." The words were out before I could figure out what I meant by it. She looked shocked for a second, and then she smiled, nodded, and pulled me down with her, on the ground. On the grass. Eyes to the skies.

Take a step in the world that surrounds you.
You search for something that just ain't there.
Hopeless and no-guided highways,
Now who do you hope to become?

"Look, a shooting star," Rukia whispered, and I thought about how much like a movie this seemed to be. So surreal, but it made us oh so happy.

Some silly book or test can't define you
A thousand words can't begin to describe
And the steps that you take are deciding
The very person you are

"Yeah," I nodded to her. I wasn't about to say something as dumb and cliché as 'make a wish'. It just wasn't who we were. We weren't the romantic, lovey-dovey couple everyone imagined boyfriends and girlfriends to be. We didn't celebrate Valentine's day; we didn't say I love you.

Did we honestly have to?

So take a step from the material world,
And look into yourself.
Summon the strength to pull away,
From all that leads below.

"Hey, Rukia," I said, not at all confident in what I was about to do. I turned over, still lying down, my elbow up, hand supporting my head. I looked at her.

"Hmm?" She turned to look at me, both elbows supporting her, her blue eyes questioning.

I closed my eyes, and leaned forward. My lips brushed hers, and she shivered. A thrill ran through me, and my lips locked on. Her soft and puffy pink lips contrasted deeply with my rough ones.

Have you found the soul that's inside you?
Can you breathe for the very first time?
And the choices you make are deciding
Where you will go this life

Rukia: "This is a little bad… isn't it?" I murmured when we pulled back. He smelled like something spicy and daring and sexy, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"I… I don't think so. Why would you say that?"

"N-nothing, I guess. It's just… aren't we rushing?"

He took a deep breath. "I don't think so. Just…" He leaned back down, and our lips touched. "I just don't give a shit."

So summon the strength,
But don't be afraid,
Of what is left to come
You're everything I wish that
I could be, so find the will to believe

The next thing I could comprehend, Ichigo's hand was next to my head, him over me. He pinned me down, and I smiled against his kiss. His other hand came to cup my cheek, and I shivered a bit.

You are who you are, The only one design
You couldn't be more beautiful
Cuz a star is a star, but you complete my sky
You couldn't be more beautiful

You… should… not be feeling this way, Rukia Kuchiki… I tried to convince myself, semi-coherently. Knowing this, I made a halfhearted attempt to push against him, but ended up melting like ice.

Ah, fuck it. Screw it; I'm living a dream right now.

End POV: His tongue pummeled into her mouth, and she melted again. She pulled away first, panting and out of breath.

"Damn," They breathed together, smiling. "It's… um, it's getting late. W-we should probably be getting home, soon."

Search the heart; the soul that's inside of you

"Yeah," Ichigo murmured, regretfully. He wished it could've lasted forever, this night. "Come on, I'll walk you back."

"O-okay." He helped her up, and Rukia smiled like a little school child the entire way home. When they approached her front door, she nodded to him, smiling broadly.

"Well, see ya tomorrow."

"Bye."

She hesitated, but quickly pushed any thoughts aside, and kissed him quickly on the mouth. "I'll… call you later?" She seemed unsure.

You are who you are, The only one design
You couldn't be more beautiful
Cuz a star is a star, but you complete my sky
You couldn't be more beautiful

"Of course," And, smiling like the Cheshire cat, he walked down her porch steps, hands in his pockets.

Rukia sighed, the biggest grin on her face.

"Yes!"

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"You play the guitar." It wasn't a question, but rather a surprised statement.

She was sheepish, an awkward grin gracing her young features. "Uhm… yeah, actually. A little. I'm not very good at it."

"Oh, well how many songs can you play?"

"Just one," Dawn answered him happily, and started strumming on the wooden instrument. "Don't blame me, please, if your ears begin to bleed."

"Okay," Byakuya let something close to a smile cross his lips. It was still a frown, for sure, but it was something with at least a little emotion in it. "I think I know this song," He murmured after a few moments.

"Oh, really?" She kept strumming. "I found it by accident. It was easy, so I played it. And now I love it. What's it called? I never did find the name."

We were picture perfect
Flawless on the surface
We were walking on a straight line

"Found out about you," He answered, and Dawn nodded slightly to herself.

"Hmm… no wonder it sounds so sad. Like a breakup song. It is a breakup song, isn't it?" She looked at him questioningly, all innocent and wide-eyed. Her hazel depths shimmered with some kind of question deeper than the one she just asked, and more important.

"Yeah," He answered with a small smile.

We were automatic
You seemed so fanatic
I was confident
And wide eyed

This is wrong, is what he thought every time he met this girl, over and over again. She's too young. Seven years? Irresponsible. And yet, he couldn't stop staring. He couldn't stop the happiness; he couldn't quell the love for this young girl deep in his stomach. Whether it was a sister-type love or something more, he couldn't tell.

Tough times watched us come undone
You found someone

Her eyes shifted up, to look at him. He was staring at her, wide eyed, open mouthed, and in awe.

She blushed.

Tell me why i think about you
And tell me if you think about me
And tell me when you touch her
Is it really love or just another fantasy
And tell me does she make you laugh
And tell me does she make you move
And tell me does she get you
Take away your breath
Just tell me that it can't be true
What I found out about you

She kept strumming. Her mind was spinning, though. Like a roller coaster ride, she decided finally, smiling.

It feels like a nightmare
To see your hands in her hair
You seem happy ever after

"You're… good." He didn't sound like he gave out compliments very much. "Really good."

"Thanks," She strummed faster.

I'm stuck in denial
I can't fake a smile
You play innocent
It's so damn hard
So down
I want back what's mine
Can we rewind?

He's still in love, that's easy to see. Her heart panged at the revelation. But he's trying to move on. Don't you know? That's what your mind desires, but it's not what the heart can accept. Byakuya, if you truly love Hisana, don't forget her. Ever. Wait for her. Forever.

Don't pretend I'm her.

She sighed, but kept up her tune.

He was sitting down next to her, now. On the park bench. He put his book down next to him, on the old, aged oak. To any other passerby, they'd look like a man and his little sister, enjoying the late March breezes.

The cherry blossoms, the birds.

So much for happy endings
So much for miracles
So much for trusting you
It-it feels so typical
I miss you
I miss you
We were picture perfect
Flawless on the surface
We were walking on a straight line

Don't forget her. Hazel eyes followed glowing pink sakura petals.

I can't feel this. Gray-blue looked at the blue skies.

Tell me why i think about you
And tell me if you think about me
And tell me when you touch her
Is it really love or just another fantasy?
And tell me does she make you laugh
And tell me does she make you scream
And tell me it's over
It's only a dream
What i found out about you

And tell me does she get you
Take away your breath
Just tell me that it can't be true
What i found out about you

"Well?"

He smiled at her naïveté. "It was a great song."

She grinned.

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Tatsuki: I can't seem to understand why Renji's so caught on Rukia. I mean, Rukia's nice. She's athletic, too. And smart. And… just about absolutely everything, really. I can't really name anything I can do that she can't do better. It kind of makes me jealous, but then I remember who I'm talking about.

I'm sitting in the old playground near the school, only a couple people besides myself here. A mother and her five-year old son getting ready to leave, a man and his book, a girl and her boyfriend, both about fourteen or fifteen, on the swings, and a the ducks floating around in lake.

I sighed, getting ready to leave this little sunset-end-of-a-movie scenery.

"Tatsuki?" I looked behind me, confused.

"Renji? What're you doing here?" I couldn't hear the stutter in my voice, so that's good. As much as I hated to admit, I liked Renji. A lot. He's a lot like me, and too little like me, too. I think that's what makes me attracted to him, you know, with all that 'opposites' crap and stuff. But he likes Rukia, which really sucks.

Oh, lord. I'm talking like some romantic comedy character. I shuddered at the thought of me ending up like Jennifer Lopez when she was on The Wedding Planner with Matthew McConaughey.

If it's okay
I'll leave the bed light on
And place your water glass where it belongs
And if alright
I'll lie awake at night
Pretending I'm curled up at your side

"I don't know. I just wandered over," He grinned sheepishly, and I smiled incredulously, shaking my head.

See I'm circling these patterns
Living out of memories
I'm still a long way from accepting it
That there's just no you and me

"God, even after… geez, how many years again? But, even after so long, you can't help amazing me with your stupidity." His face turned a humorous shade of scarlet, and he turned his head defiantly. A smirk was plastered on his goofy features as he stared blankly at the quaking ducks splashing and swimming around.

"I'm not stupid," He muttered childishly, and I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, you are." My smile turned gentle. "You really are."

But if I still believe you love me
Maybe I'll survive
So I tell myself you're coming home
Like you've done a million times
And if it's alright
I'll still be loving you
'cause I can't break it to my heart

I can't remember how we got there, by the lake, sitting side by side. Many of the waterfowl had long-since flown away, except for a special two. Two swans, side by side, like the happiest of lovers. How ironic, I thought vaguely, thinking of Renji's and my relationship. More than friends, but something less than lovers, too.

A crush? No, it's not that simple.

Is it just me
Did i commit a crime
I won't believe that loving you
Is just a waste of time
Or was it in my head
I'm reading into things that you never said

It was something more, much, much more, I knew that. I knew I liked—maybe loved—him immensely. I felt this for I don't know how damn long, but it's been a while, I'm positive.

I just know it.

No, I can't break it to my heart

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Inoue: I stared ahead blankly, at the blackboard. Ms. Ochi and the other students were long gone, leaving only me here. I had cleaning duty, and I'd finished a while ago. But why am I still here? Even I don't know.

I heard the door open faintly in the distance, and I turned my head, smiling in my normal, happy-go-lucky way. The boy who walked in was tall and spidery, but in a good way, you know? "Oh," He looked surprised to see me here, but then calmed a bit.

"I'm sorry; I didn't know anyone was here."

I grinned. "Oh, no problem! My name's Inoue Orihime." I recognized this man from my Calculus class. Ishida, I think his name was.

"Oh, of course. Uryu Ishida," He introduced himself with a small semi-smile. I nodded to myself. "Why are you here so late?"

"Huh?" I looked at the clock on the wall; nearly seven-forty two. I blinked in surprise. "Oh, I guess I just spaced, ha-ha. I had cleaning duty."

"Oh, okay."

"And you?"

"Nothing. The sewing club," He admitted sheepishly.

I thought for a minute, and then remembered. That was the club Mahana was in! "Cool, so, are you guys just now packing up?"

"Nah, we've been done for a while," He admitted, sitting in an empty desk, across the room. "I just stuck around."

"Why?"

"I didn't feel like goin' home," He grinned, and I could feel myself blushing.

"Oh."

We stayed, feet apart, in silence, waiting till sunset.

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Mmm? How do you like it? I did, gives us a jump-start to the couples.

Please, review!!

-TMU-