On Cold Desert:
Decidedly non-canon.
This fic is rated T- there is harsh language.
The POV alternates between Bella and Jasper.
The setting is vast- from Forks down the west coast.
In Cold Desert some scenes will be written in a more artistic form, to better express the rawness of emotion.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. But I do own the only (officially) released 'New Moon' T-shirt. Thank God for Hot Topic.
Chapter. 3
BELLA'S POV
When Edward left me I was sure I had never felt so much pain in my life.
I was empty.
Hollow and soundless, I was merely a shell of the girl I once was. The greenery of Forks was a leafy mask over my face, giving me a continuous stream of chloroform, knocking me out. Charlie's hesitant smiles were a twisted image caused by hallucinogens, and school was like a trip to Antarctica in my birthday suit- constant frostbite, effectively numbing me into a stupor.
At that time, in my dizzy strain, I thought that I was going through agony worse than death. Yet I didn't know then what I knew now: that it was possible to endure pain on a higher, more intense level.
James sinking his teeth into my hand, saber tooth fangs piercing, and the darkness is everything, I can't see, it's the divorce, it's only normal everyone goes through it, but he doesn't want me, and I am burning, and there is Victoria-
Where was Edward? And Alice? This was too familiar, too eerie. I was back in the mirrored room again and I was lost, blind.
There was no angel, however, no voice to call me up from the deep.
Cake and paper cuts, watching him fade into the forest, I am drowning, there are flames above me and I want to wrap them around the wounds on my wrists, but there are wolves howling and friends bursting out of their skin-
Dimly aware I was screaming like a banshee, I tried to push aside the pain and locate reality. There were arms and questions. I struggled to open my eyes and ears but I couldn't see or hear them.
The cliff, it's one jump and I can end it all, do it right this time, descending into blood-red eyes and long crimson cloaks, I will never escape, my leg is breaking a thousand times, stuck on repeat, please don't leave me, don't leave me, don't-
I lay there dying for incalculable moments. I could feel my heart twisting behind my ribs and I wondered vaguely if I would ever witness Edward's inhuman beauty again.
It hurt worse when I thought of him, if that were possible.
I remember furious roars, and a flurry of unexpected movement beyond my lids. There were terse words I could not discern while preoccupied inside my own mind, focusing on the strange sound of my screeching.
I knew only that I was lifted, the sensation startling the flow of dark thoughts. A sudden calming feeling warred violently with my turmoil. I reached a catharsis where my nerves seemed to slice apart, and my brain slowly whirred to a quiet roil, and the thumping heart giving me such pain slowed until I sank into grateful unconsciousness.
But before I surrendered to that peaceful silence, I caught the trail of a puzzlingly heady aroma. It was the distinct scent of pine trees and baking gingerbread.
Yet there was something else, an undertone mixing with the childhood smell of Christmas…
It was a vague trace of gunpowder.
---
I awoke abruptly, my hair covering my face. A few strands were in my mouth.
It was very unpleasant.
I sighed, spitting the pieces out. This always happened. My brunette locks were too wild for me to tame, and often strangled me while I slept.
I lay there for a second, mentally debating the pros and cons of chopping it all off.
It took me nearly a full minute of awareness to realize I was in a car.
Not just any car. I recalled distinctly the gentle thrum of that particular vehicle's engine, and the smell of its seats. It was Carlisle's black Mercedes, and I was stretched out in the back on the expensive custom leather.
Flinging myself upward, throwing a hand to my forehead to sweep my hair back, I looked around.
I was utterly bewildered by what I saw.
Through the windshield, I could see a sign clearly stating 'welcome to Oregon'.
There were various items assorted along the dashboard: a thick stack of cash bound together with a rubber band, two baseball caps blaring sports teams logos unknown to myself, twin pairs of large black sunglasses, the tags still attached, and a folded heavy coat with fur trimmings.
But these were not the reasons my breath caught in my throat and my eyes stretched wide as silver-dollars.
Jasper was sitting in the driver's seat. His long white fingers drummed upon the steering wheel and his honey-colored hair blew around in short waves. The window was open.
"Jasper?" I demanded, thoroughly confused, and not at all in a friendly frame of mind. What the hell was going on?
He turned to look at me, piercing me through the heart with blatantly ebony eyes.
I shrank back against the seat. "Are you hungry?" I asked him, fearful.
Jasper's well-shaped brows pulled into a puzzled line. He appraised me for a full thirty seconds, then his handsome face relaxed. He offered me a small smile.
"No, I'm not hungry. I've hunted recently. It's nothing I can't deal with anyway." Jasper returned his attention to the road and I was relieved. I was taught to drive safely, and with all these vampires driving like something from 'The Fast and the Furious' it was very stressful…Edward was the worst…
Out of the blue, I doubled over, clutching my sides with an aching familiarity that I despised. My insides twisted and I began to moan.
"Bella?" Jasper said. "Bella! Oh, shit." He swung the car into a wide arc and parked in a shoulder by the side of the road. I panted, regaining control of myself. His strong hand gripped my knee and I blinked away the pain. His manipulation of my emotions didn't hurt, I supposed, as I quickly became calm but thoughtful.
"Bella," he repeated. "Look at me. You were thinking of Edward, weren't you?"
I nodded. Of course I was. I always thought of-
My stomach flipped and a fierce thumping started up in my chest.
I shook my head. What was happening to me?
"Jasper," I said. "Why am I with you? Where is everyone? Where are we?"
He sighed, frustrated, and a sorrowful expression replaced the worried one.
"You don't remember. Carlisle was right." He ran a hand through his golden mane in a surprisingly human gesture. "So many questions," he continued. "And I'm not sure how to explain this to you. It's going to be tough to wrap your mind around. I still don't understand it much."
Jasper paused for a moment- the tentativeness seemed somehow significant- then he leaned around the passenger seat and reached into the glove compartment. He rummaged in its contents and extracted something white. I thought it was a piece of paper at first.
Baffled, I glanced at his outstretched hand. He had retrieved napkins from the full and cluttered glove compartment. I was sure they were the abrasive variety. I could tell just by looking at them, having used the same kind for most of my childhood at every fast food place my mother dragged me to.
I noticed the scars on his wrist as he offered them to me. The scars were difficult to see, yet I could tell they were contrasting, pinkish, a half shade darker than the smooth ivory color of his skin.
Suddenly, I was overcome by a strange and powerful urge to stroke the scars, run my fingers along them. I wanted to know if they were raised or flat, or if they would give easily to the touch.
The desire was swift yet startling. I knew the scars were a testament to how strong the newest Cullen's will was. To survive the multiple attacks…I shuddered at the viciousness of the vampires who had sank their teeth into Jasper's flesh. I knew intuitively that Jasper would not have let them live.
Would he be kinder in sharing news I was confident would shake me to my core?
I shifted my gaze to his shadowed face again. It was conflicted, yet his inky eyes were filled with purpose.
I barely knew Jasper. But in that instant I thought maybe I would get to know him, whether I liked it or not.
Cautiously, I removed the napkins from his grasp, preparing myself. They weren't tissues, but they would do.
He opened his mouth and began to speak.
A/N:
I'm so sorry for the delay in this update! There was family drama. Enough said.
Chapter 3 did not have any soul-shaking revelations, really. I only wanted to express Bella's pain as Chelsea and Afton blasted her with the curse, and provide a bit of foreshadowing for what's to come. Humor, too- when she had hair, I bet Kristen Stewart had a hell of a time keeping it tame.
Do you like the smells I chose for Jasper's unique scent? As always, tell me what you think.
Bella's really very intuitive. Duh.
Thank you so much for reviewing/adding Cold Desert to your Fav/Alert lists.
Big high-fives go out to Oh Inverted World X and twilifecrisis for suggesting amazing songs for Cold Desert. I won't give them away; you'll just have to wait and see. But they're absolutely perfect and I am overly grateful for the help. Please continue to suggest songs. Any help would be appreciated.
On a personal note, I just finished Cassandra Clare's 'City of Glass'. It. Was. Wonderful. If you haven't picked up the Mortal Instruments series yet, go henceforth to your nearest Borders. You will not be disappointed.
Anyone else love the latest episode of True Blood? All I have to say is I heart Eric. And soon, Sookie will, too.
REVIEW!