On Cold Desert:

Non-canon.

T for sensuality.

POV alternates between Bella and Jasper.

Setting: (Still) Parked on the side of a road in Oregon.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own one New Moon ticket for premiere night. :)

Chapter 5.

BELLA'S POV

I read somewhere once that crying is the body's way of cleansing itself. After a major emotional upheaval, scientists have proven that messy, unrestrained sobbing leads to a moment of total relaxation and mental ease. It may be short, or instead a long period of cathartic release.

It was true.

I had cried myself stupid, and I honestly couldn't care less about anything. I felt certain that if a giant meteor were about to fall from the sky and crush Carlisle's Mercedes I would not alter my current position.

Which was, strangely enough, on top of Jasper.

My arms were wrapped around his trim waist and my face was pressed into the area I abruptly realized was his upper thigh. I opened my mouth and the rough material of his jeans scraped my teeth. I felt him tense beneath me.

Blushing, I suddenly wished for that meteor.

Raising my head to look through my hair and up at him, I gasped.

His eyes were a full shade darker than before, black as pitch, and his neat brows twisted in what I assumed was pain. Dimly, I became aware of his strong hands clutching the thin fabric of my shirt.

"Jasper," I breathed, frightened.

The material tore cleanly in half along my bent spine. I trembled.

Thinking of Edward in my panic, I cried out. A prized fighter thrust his fist into my gut, and a trash truck ran over my ribs.

Then, Jasper flew out from under me. He opened the car door and sped to the hood, blindingly fast. I watched him sit. He shook his golden head and toyed with the ornate ring on his finger for many minutes. I was afraid to move. At one point, I think I closed my eyes.

Later, he slowly folded back into the driver's seat with a blue bag in his grip. He gently set it down beside me. Jasper placed his hands on the wheel and murmured, "Your clothes are in that bag. I won't watch you change."

I remained still. The shock and fear had faded. Yet something kept me motionless.

Jasper knew what it was, though. He seemed to know me better than I did.

"I can leave the car again if you want. I know it's rude for me to sit here, but there's a police cruiser on the other side of the road. I don't want to draw suspicion, and, frankly, I'd rather sacrifice your sensibilities than your safety."

"No, it's okay." I unzipped the bag then stopped short.

"What?" Jasper asked, turning to face me.

"Police cruiser. Charlie. How do I explain to him what's going on?" I couldn't believe my dad had never crossed my mind.

"It's simple. You tell him you're going on a road trip with our family. You're sorry it's last minute but you wanted to be spontaneous. You know, like a senior trip." He gesticulated as he spoke, and I found myself fascinated with the movement of his hands.

"Bella?" he asked. "Did you hear me?"

Sure I was slack-jawed and starry-eyed, I sensed my cheeks becoming red again. Jasper glanced away.

"Yes," I muttered, "I heard you."

I grabbed a plaid flannel button-down and began to shrug out of my ripped, white cotton t-shirt. I had bought them both at Walmart, so I didn't mind the loss.

I noticed that Jasper wasn't breathing. His knuckles were whiter than usual with strain, grasping the wheel. Instinctively I knew he would not watch me in the rearview mirror. Jasper struck me as a gentleman. A strange sense of disappointment echoed through me.

The steering wheel cover split at the seams. Jasper's hold had snapped the fabric. I didn't know that was even possible.

Shakily, I lifted the ripped shirt over my head and replaced it with the new one. I tried not to think of how exposed I was in the transitory state, wearing only a black bra.

I steeled myself to inhale a few times, ran my hands through my hair, and climbed into the passenger seat.

Jasper, surprised, turned to look at me. He gauged my expression, searching for remaining vestiges of tears and misery.

But I was cleansed. My body felt weary, yet also excited. I felt like a giant bruise, the blood pumping through me with a dull ache.

This was something I had to deal with. It was my lot in life.

For now, anyway…

"Where are we going next? We've been sitting in the same spot for hours. I'm restless."

He blinked. I realized for the first time his eyelashes were ridiculously long. In the dim light caused by typically overcast weather on the northern west coast, I could see they were darkest at the tips.

Fascinated, I didn't hear Jasper ask me what I was staring at. As he repeated himself I broke out of my reverie.

"Is this a common thing for humans? You seem to go off in your own little world." He chuckled hesitantly, lifting a golden-brown brow in my direction.

"No," I told him, smiling. "It's just me."

"Do you do that to everyone?" he asked half-heartedly, repositioning his side mirrors, preparing to drive.

I watched him, categorizing each of his movements in my head. He was like a panther, barely contained. There was subtle power in each of his smallest actions. He was unlike anything I had ever seen before. Even his auburn-haired brother- I creatively skipped over his name in my mental musings- didn't captivate me so thoroughly…so constantly.

And then, as I witnessed his silent, lethal grace, the sun peeked out from the clouds and illuminated his pale flesh. Sparkling beams of iridescence erupted from each invisible pore in his skin. A hand flew to my eyes; the radiance was too bright for my weak, human eyes to bear.

Cool fingers pried my hand away. Jasper peered at me with lightened eyes, more amber than black now, and his beauty stole the air from my lungs. His lovely face was a conflicted mixture of hope and shame. He forced me to look at him. He wouldn't let me hide my eyes. For once, he took the lead.

I sighed. My heart twisted in my chest. The high collar he wore shielded the majority of his throat scars. But a few were still visible and they drew my attention. I leaned forward and gently stroked them.

He threw his head back, utterly relaxed.

I grinned tentatively. An odd happiness soared through me.

"No," I replied quietly. "It's just you."

A/N:

First of all I want to apologize for the horrendously long time since my last update. To be honest, I had the worst possible case of writer's block and all my attempts at Chapter 5. were for shit. But I knew I had to update soon- so forgive me if you don't like this chappie. Just know I worked harder on this one than any of the others.

Second, a huge thanks goes out to anyone who reviewed- you know who you are. And to the people that Alert me or Fav me without even one measly review- WTF? I appreciate you boosting my hits but come on now. If I don't get up to at least 35 reviews by the time I post Chapter 6, I'm going to seriously consider leaving Cold Desert to rot. I feel very undervalued. And if you're an author, you should have some understanding of the importance of reviews.

I don't want to come off as a bitch. So, basically, do the right thing.

On a personal, inter-fan-based note...did anyone else see the leaked third New Moon trailer? I swear to God I DIED. It's the best one out yet by far and I cannot wait until November. Fav part was when Bella was drowning and Edward was next to her in the water. Ah-mazing. Also, the very last few seconds were so intense- I almost cried like a baby when Edward was getting thrown around.

Kristen Stewart is a fantastic actress. I simply can't abide anyone saying anything against her. She has made Bella who she is in a more tangible way than S.M.

Send in songs for Cold Desert and I'll mention you in one of my famously long-ass Author's Notes.

REVIEW!