On Cold Desert:
Non-canon.
Rated T.
Music plays a large role in Cold Desert.
Setting: Highway in Oregon.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Or 'Tears for Fears'. Though I do own their 'Songs From the Big Chair' LP.
Chapter 6.
JASPER'S POV
"Oh, please no. Bella that's not a CD I listen to. Honestly, I don't even know where it came from-" I growled in frustration as the brunette vixen slyly removed the disk from its case.
"Lighten up, Jasper," she said, winking at me from the passenger seat. "They're my favorite eighties band."
I couldn't help but smile, and since I wasn't fond of the band, I had to accept that it was Bella's milk-chocolate eyes that drew me in. Her long dark hair was blowing in the fierce breeze; every tinted window in the car was rolled down.
I knew that even though the light from the sun was dim my skin was slightly sparkling. She seemed to like it, constantly throwing glances my way, focusing intently on me until I purposely shifted, coughed, or otherwise moved so as to lead her attention away.
It hurt me to do so, which was strange. I found that I valued her adoration more than the harsh desire her fragrant scent inspired. I could battle my darker desires for the sense that I was special. She gave me this so freely, so quickly.
I was sure I'd never leave the sunlight's path if she would only stare at me always.
But I didn't want her to become embarrassed. Not for her sake- I was too selfish for that. No, I broke her reverie in such a way that I was confident she would continue to look back.
I was, after all, as proven by my old war days, quite the evil mastermind.
"The eighties were the best musical era," I commented quietly.
Her expression changed drastically: she became shocked and a new blush stole across her cheekbones.
"What's wrong?"
She giggled. "No contest. The eighties were all about real artists who wrote their own music, and actually had talent. Nothing's new today, everything seems fake…"
I sat still, categorizing the fervor of her words in my head. I turned, though, when she sank down into her seat. I watched her face crumple. A rusty bullet shot through my unmoving heart.
"Bella?" I stretched out a hand to her and she batted it away.
"Nothing, I'm just embarrassed. You think I'm a weirdo now." She folded her thin arms.
I raised a brow at her, gauging my own sudden irritation. "No, I don't. And you shouldn't hit me like that, you'll only hurt yourself."
She was a stubborn minx. I could taste her anger on my tongue. It was bitter and delicious.
I sensed her reaction before she knew how she would retaliate. Her small, pale hand darted out. I snatched it from the air and slipped my hand through the space between us, landing a blow on her shoulder. I tried to lessen my strength to that of a human's. It would smart but I tried not to cause her too much pain. She cried out; it was more in surprise than actual discomfort, I thought.
"See? That's what you get."
We sat in utter silence for a few minutes. I'm sure she was waiting for an apology, for me to beg for forgiveness. I was not Edward. And I had never felt a stronger urge to break her. Just moments before I had experienced such emotion because of her sadness. Out of the odd pair of us, I was the 'weirdo'.
After a while, she uncrossed her thin arms. Without any resistance or drama, she picked up the CD from where it had fallen and slid it into its player.
The whining strains of 'Tears for Fears' filled Carlisle's Mercedes.
"This is a good one," she told me quietly.
Welcome to your life
There's no turning back
Even while we sleep
We will find you acting on your best behavior
Turn your back on Mother Nature
Everybody wants to rule the world
Bella's pink lips were moving in sync with the words, though no sound left them. Her thin brows hitched, and from the corner of my eye I could see her shoot me a worried look.
Hastily, I threw myself into what I hoped was an accurate semblance of Edward's brain. Eventually I surfaced, deciding that she was concerned that I would judge her. Me. Judge her.
Even now the strong, delicious smell of her blood wafted past my nose and I had to struggle with myself to not lunge across the middle console, bend her long, smooth neck back and…
Regardless of the insanity of her thought process, she had to know it was okay for her to be herself with me. Fully.
Damn it, what would Edward do? Perfect, golden Edward with his serene smiles and martyred mind…
Fortunately I had a good memory. And this song was a hit back in the day…
It's my own design
It's my own remorse
Help me to decide
Help me make the most
Of freedom and of pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world
I gulped. The motion was needless, and it sent a shock through my dry throat.
This was ridiculous. Any self-respecting male vampire would never stoop this low…it was similar to me flipping hamburgers at a fast-food restaurant; the absurdity was the same.
Then I thought of Bella and her unrestrained beaming…as well as how much I desired the white flash of joy off her teeth…
Staring straight ahead, clamping the wheel tightly, I opened my mouth and quietly began to sing.
There's a room where the light won't find you
Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down
When they do I'll be right behind youSo glad we've almost made it
So sad they had to fade it
Everybody wants to rule the world
Wincing I cut my eyes over to the stark-white human in my passenger seat.
Her mouth hung open, and the corners tilted upward in a half-hysterical grin.
We came to a red light. Embarrassed, I reached forward, fully prepared to yank the entire stereo from the car. Carlisle could pay for it.
Faster than I thought possible, Bella grabbed my hand. The irony was overwhelming. Her warm grip was soft but unyielding. Her lips twisted into a flattered smirk.
I felt more than myself in that instant, teetering on the vast edge of rejection and acceptance. It was my life in a nutshell.
The music pounded into a gentle refrain, and Bella's tentative voice filled my ears and overwhelmed my senses.
I can't stand this indecision…
Say that you'll never need it…
Overwhelmed with relief, I slammed into the next verse along with her, completely uncaring of anything but the sensation of my voice and hers colliding.
And in that moment I closed my eyes, though I could feel Bella's gaze burning a hole through me. If the intensity of her focus were a tangible jet of flame, I would be on fire. Yet it would be a pleasant torching, a slow singeing of each individual nerve.
The guitar pounded into my head and I wondered which make it was, or what amp the guitarist had used in this recording. Then, my mind traveled back to Bella.
It was always back to her, wasn't it?
All for freedom and for pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world
I hit the gas and sped off down the road, as if nothing had ever occurred there, in that particular stretch of road.
Bella's mile-long legs, sheathed in plain blue jeans, hung out the window casually, and she never ceased her mediocre croon. I grew very fond of the unremarkable tone she possessed. It was rough, but suited perfectly to her.
"Alright. My turn." I rooted around in the mess and discovered my second favorite eighties staple.
"Darlin', you'd better watch out. 'The Police' are coming!"
Her answering laugh bubbled down the Oregon highway, trailing behind us like a flag in the wind.
A/N:
First I'd like to apologize for the longest time between updates in history. I have been dealing with family drama. Not to mention I underwent four re-writes of this chapter- one when I lost the file it was under, another when I realized the next draft was shit, and a third when I lost THAT file...on purpose.
Here's the fourth version. Hope it doesn't disappoint.
I was blown away by the amount of reviews I received after Slywolf9 recc'd me in her fic. Thanks, Sly!
And thank YOU, readers. Please continue to read and rev, despite my long absence from the circuit.
There are many readers I'd like to specifically mention: r3dkirby, KGWulf, silverdrip, JDRAST, and omgiluffbleachvampires. Their reviews were extra special and I appreciate the time it took for them to truly pick apart the story and give great reviews. The other revs were just as amazing! And if the revs for this chapter are just as good, I'll have ALOT of readers to mention in Chapter 7.
Thank you, thank you, thank you- for the song reccs, revs, and hits.
Tell me what you think, as always, about this chappie. The song, the mood...don't worry, btw. I plan to infuse the story with more of Chelsea and Afton, as well as Jasper/Bella...ahem, tension.
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