Sorry sorry that I didn't add a chapter yesterday. My husband demanded I spend time with him last night, so I didn't get the chance to. To make it up, I'll post two chapters tonight. Here's the first one, and I'll have the second one up soon.

03/25/10: Rewritten/Edited

Disclaimer: Not mine

Mikan stood in front of the door to her new room. Slowly, she turned the knob and entered. It was huge, so much bigger than her previous room. It looked very much like Natsume's, which made sense, since he was also a special. However, where Natsume's room had been filled with various things of his, manga in particular, her few belongings only served to make the room appear even emptier.

Weary, she slumped into her chair, laying out her textbook on the desk in front of her. She knew it was basically pointless to study. She only had a few days until the exams. There was no way she could catch up on three months of work by then. Besides, even if she somehow managed to ace the test, she couldn't possibly win the week home. She knew that. She had forfeited those rights.

But regardless, she tried to focus on her studies. She needed to study, to throw herself into something and concentrate, to distract herself from everything that had happened, everything she didn't want to remember. Those faces, oh those faces. And then the confrontations today. Things weren't supposed to happen that way. She didn't want to fight with Natsume or push Narumi away. But what else could she do? She couldn't tell them. They wouldn't understand. They'd only try to stop her.

She couldn't focus her eyes on the text. The words blurred together as tears stung her eyes. Slowly drops began to stain the page. She tried to rub her eyes, to stop the tears. Once they started, though, she couldn't make them stop. Bending over in her seat, she sobbed into her hands, her body shaking as each one racked her body. Natsume, Natsume. She wanted to run to him, to let him comfort her, protect her. No, I can't. Not him. Especially not him. He can't know how much I'm hurting. I can't let him try to save me again.

She had no idea how long she sat in that chair crying, but when she finally pulled herself together enough to sit up, she noticed it was dark outside. The room seemed even lonelier now that it was dark. Mikan rose from the chair, anxious to go somewhere that wouldn't add fuel to her already overwhelming feelings of aloneness. She opened the door carefully, looking down the hall in both directions to make sure no one else would see her with her bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks. Now that she was a principal student, she lived right down the hall from Natsume, so she had to be particularly careful of running into him.

Once assured that no one was there, she made her way out. She left the elementary dorm and wandered, not sure where she was going. After a little while, she found a bench on a path surrounded by tress and sat, letting the cool evening breeze wash through her.

Ruka watched her from his spot in a tree not far away, where he'd been trying to clear his thoughts. It surprised him that she wasn't with Natsume. He had thought the two would be inseparable now, had assumed that they'd been together all afternoon. But Natsume was nowhere to be seen, and Mikan had never looked so alone. He couldn't see her like that and leave her be. Quietly, he hopped down from the tree and made his way over to her.

"Mikan? Mikan? Are you alright?"

His gentle, concerned voice reached Mikan's ears, and her head shot up. Her bloodshot eyes met his concerned ones. Sniffling, Mikan tried to rein in her emotions. She gave Ruka a weak attempt at a smile. It didn't reach her eyes. Instead of reassuring Ruka, it only served to break his heart. He hated seeing her so broken. Just like they'd broken Natsume, this school was breaking her. This beautiful girl who'd helped put his best friend back together was now falling to pieces.

"I'm alright," she said, her voice rough, unsteady. Walking closer to her, Ruka wondered how Natsume could just abandon her like this. Where was he? Mikan clearly needed him. Then his heart sank as an unwelcome thought entered it. Perhaps they have him on another mission. Maybe that's why he's not here. Mikan would probably know.

"Where's Natsume?" When Mikan merely shrugged, Ruka's brows furrowed in confusion. It didn't escape his notice that at the mention of Natsume's name a pained expression crossed her face. Deciding to let it go for the moment, he sat down beside her. "Can I do anything for you?"

Mikan was about to refuse him, push him away like the others. But she couldn't make herself do it. She needed someone to be with her right now. She didn't want to be alone. She wanted to rely on someone else, if even for just a few moments. And Ruka felt safe. She knew he wouldn't try to pressure her or persuade her like the others. He wouldn't demand answers. He was exactly the person she needed right now. Someone to cry on who wouldn't ask anything of her, who would let her keep her own counsel and still comfort her.

With this thought to encourage her, the dam broke. Burying her face in his shoulder, she wept and wept. Sobs shook her small frame as Ruka tenderly wrapped his arm around her shoulders and held her. They sat there in silence, except for the occasionally whimper from Mikan, taking comfort in just being in another person's presence. Neither said a word. Ruka didn't ask why she was crying, didn't ask why she hadn't turned to Natsume. It didn't matter. If she wanted to tell him she would, but he understood that what she needed most in this moment was a silent comforter.

Natsume stormed through the forest, angry, confused, hurt, and feeling more than a little betrayed. He had been so worried for her these past three months, had been in a state of near panic wondering what had happened to her. Then, when she came back, she just brushed him aside. He tried to help her, tried to rescue her, and she flat out denied him to his face without any sort of explanation. And she was lying to him. He knew she was. He was certain the elementary headmaster had done horrible things to her, had made her do horrible things. Why wouldn't she let him take her away from all this? He couldn't bear to see this school destroy her, twist her, the way it had twisted him.

"Kuso!" He slammed his fist into a tree, cursing darkly. Why, Mikan?! Why?! Resting his head against the tree, he tried to clear his head, dropping his now bleeding hand down to his side. Why wouldn't she rely on him? Why was she shutting him out? He had thought they grown closer. Hadn't she even confessed to him? It seemed like a dim memory now, like something from another world. Now she was treating him as a mere acquaintance, someone who couldn't be trusted to confide in. That hurt more than she could possibly imagine.

Pushing off the tree, he started to wander aimlessly, headed in the general direction of the elementary school dorms. He was hardly aware of his surroundings until he noticed a light shining through the trees. Making his way towards what he was sure was a lamp post on one school paths, he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw a pair sitting on a bench, bathed in the soft lamplight. Not just any pair. Ruka and Mikan.

Eyes wide, he took in the sight before him. Mikan, face buried in Ruka's shoulder, clearly crying, while Ruka held her. The adoration and concern in Ruka's eyes was obvious, but that didn't surprise Natsume. However, watching Mikan opening up to Ruka like that felt like a knife twisting in his heart. She had shut herself down with him, closed herself off. Yet here she was, vulnerable, hurting, just as he knew she would be. But it wasn't him she'd turned to for comfort. It wasn't him she felt she could rely on. Trying to ignore the painful beating in his chest, he forced himself to tear his eyes away from the scene. Turning back into the forest, he started to sprint. He had no direction, no goal, except to get away, to get as far away from that sight as he could.

Sorry, a bit dark and depressing, I know. R&R Onegai!