Author's Note: Spoilers for "The End In The Beginning."

"Here I go so dishonestly

And leave a note, for you my only one

And I know you can see right through me

So let me go"

- "My Only One" Yellowcard

Bones,

I wish there was an easier way to do this. I wish I didn't have to do it at all. But I can't go on pretending. I can't keep going on living this way. Having to act like I don't feel the way I do, because you can't admit the truth about us to yourself. I've waited. And I just can't do it anymore.

I love you. I loved you for so long, long before I even knew it. My dream - the coma one, it made me realize a lot of things. A lot of feelings I had for you. I never said anything. I never did anything because I was afraid of what it would do to us. And maybe I thought you'd come to realize what we had. But it's obvious you're not. You never will.

I turned in my resignation to the FBI. I'm starting over. Starting fresh. Starting somewhere away from you where we can both be happy.

I'm sorry it had to be this way. I'm just, I'm sorry, Bones.

-Booth

Brennan reclined in her office chair. She stared dully ahead at the letter from Booth she'd had propped up on her desk for a few days now. She'd read it so much she'd had it memorized. No matter how many times she read it, it still didn't make any sense to her. Would it ever, really?

Two days ago she'd come into the office like any other morning. Nothing had felt out of place. There was no sign as to what was ahead. She'd found Booth's letter sitting up on her keyboard in an envelope. After reading it she first tried his cell phone. No answer. Next she'd dialed the bureau, specifically, Hacker. He hadn't answered his phone or returned her calls. She couldn't even get a hold of him on any of the private numbers she knew for him.

Booth was gone, and it was as though Hacker had vanished into thin air. Something was going on. Hacker had been the catalyst of it all. Brennan was one step away from going to the bureau herself.

I love you. I've loved you for so long, long before I knew it.

Brennan hadn't been able to get any work done. For someone who prided herself on the ability to compartmentalize she found herself at a loss. Booth had alienated something sacred between them. He'd crossed that line, and then taken off like a coward.

God, how she missed him.

My dream - the coma one, it made me realize a lot of things.

Brennan was partially responsible for that. Booth had suddenly required surgery to remove a tumor from his brain. As he was waking from the anesthesia he'd suffered a severe reaction. He was left in a coma fighting for his life, and nearly succumbing.

Brennan had stayed by his side religiously. She'd written a fictional novel about the two of them living a completely different life. As she'd wrote she'd spoken her thoughts to him out loud, invading his dreams. When at last he'd woken, disoriented, he'd been convinced everything from his dream had been real.

It was fair enough to say things had changed between them after that. Brennan couldn't quite look at Booth the same way. Something had awakened in her. Often she found herself thinking about one particular scene she'd written. She could recall the way he'd held her in his arms as they were making love as though it were real. The fever, the rush, would find her unexpectedly.

And sometimes she'd catch him seeming to stare at her in a different way. If she met his eyes he'd quickly look away, sometimes even reddening, a bit. She knew what he'd been thinking. It was a fragile line they hadn't dared to step across.

Until now.

She felt violated. She felt abandoned.

"Sweetie?"

Brennan looked up over her desk to find Angela standing before her. "The remains from that mudslide in Chile have arrived."

For the first time in her life Brennan had to pretend she was interested.

Angela frowned. "Sweetie, I know this is hard-"

"What's hard about it?" Brennan laughed. She got up too fast. "People drift in and out of lives all the time. It's part of the human experience."

Angela warily approached her. "They don't usually confess their love first."

"He doesn't love me, Angela."

"That letter begs to differ."

"He wouldn't-" do this. "He can't-" just run away from me.

Angela didn't hesitate to embrace her friend.

"Why did he-?" Brennan exhaled. "Why now?"

"I don't know. But I assure you, Booth loves you. He's just," Angela shook her head. "I don't know what he's doing. Look, those remains out there aren't going anywhere. Take your time. Come deal with them when you're ready."

Brennan slid back down into her chair. "Thanks, Ange."

Time passed as she sat and mulled through her thoughts. Should she go hunting for answers at the bureau? Did she try to find him at his apartment? Both were options she hadn't yet explored. And yet the option that seemed the most involved was the one she chose.

Booth loved his son. He wouldn't just leave Parker behind. Brennan didn't have a number for Booth's ex, Rebecca. But she'd been with him a few times when Booth had had to pick Parker up from school. She knew what school he went to. She knew was time dismissal was. It was a chance, and she was taking it.

***

Three thirty rolled around and Brennan found herself in the parking lot outside Parker's school feeling self conscious. All around her elementary school students bustled about on their way to their parents' cars and loaded school buses. Brennan searched the crowd for Booth's precocious son. All around she felt foolish. What was she doing here? It was like searching for a needle in a haystack.

Surprisingly, Parker found Brennan. The boy snuck up besides her. "Bones?" He asked.

Brennan turned her attention away from the school. "Parker? Hi."

He looked ecstatic. "Is my dad here?"

"He's not, I mean-"

"Parker!" Rebecca called. She jogged up besides the two of them. "Dr. Brennan," she greeted in surprise.

"I'm sorry to just show up like this," she apologized. "I just, I was wondering if you've heard from Booth?"

"Dad said he was going away for a while," Parker said eagerly. "He was going on a trip."

"A trip?"

"He wouldn't tell me, either," Rebecca shrugged. "He just said he was going away and he'd be in touch."

Brennan didn't like the information she was getting. "Thanks." She turned away.

"Hey," Rebecca called after her. "Is he in some sort of trouble?"

"I don't know." Brennan climbed behind the wheel of her car. That was it. Booth's erratic behavior had sparked a sense of urgent worry. Next stop was his apartment. Brennan was determined to get down to the bottom of her partner's problem.