A/N: I decided to update earlier than planned, some of you may not be disappointed but I think I made the best decision for this story. Also if I make any changes this story will take me years to complete, I have a plan and I must follow it. Hope you enjoy it.

Ch 12

"Was that a gunshot?" Lucky asked. Ethan came to a screeching stop in front of Harborview Towers. The police sirens could be heard in the distance. Lucky had his gun out, they barreled pass the doorman and took the stairs to the 10th floor.

Getting to 10C, they kicked in the door. There on the floor was Kristina kneeling over a wounded Kiefer.

"Stay with me. Everything will be okay. Just stay with me." A teary eyed Kristina was pressing a kitchen towel into Kiefer's bleeding chest.

"Kristina" Ethan said lightly touching her shoulder

"Ethan. Call an ambulance, please."

"Here… I'll…" Ethan said attempting to move her aside.

"No! I got it, just call an ambulance." Kristina was distraught it wasn't until she heard his voice did she even realize Lucky was there.

Lucky called the ambulance, seconds later the police came running down the hall.

"Detective Spencer."

"Officer Wilde." The two members of PCPD greeted one another.

"You know what happen here." Officer Wilde asked Lucky.

"Kristina called Ethan when Kiefer showed up. I was with my brother on the way here we heard everything."

Ethan managed to get Kristina of the way so that the officer's could see to Kiefer. A second later he was pronounced dead and Kristina fainted.

"Is she okay?" one of the officers asked.

"I don't know this stress can't be good for the baby."

--

--

December 31st

Ethan stood at the bottom of Kristina's hospital bed Sonny and Alexis sat at her side.

"I just can't believe he's dead." Kristina said yet again. Whatever anyone may have thought of Kiefer, even she didn't deny loving him. Their love was unhealthy but love all the same. Her grief was magnified by her actions. She kept going over the events in her head wondering if there was something she could have done differently.

"It's okay sweetie." Alexis said trying to placate her daughter. She didn't want her little girl to have to deal with the guilt of what she'd done. Alexis wished that she could go back and change everything; Kristina should have never been in the position to need to defend herself.

"It's not, I shot him." Kristina insisted, hating how no matter what she did Alexis always wanted to sweep it under the rug.

"You struggled the gun went off. Krissy that isn't your fault." Ethan said reassuringly.

"Stop saying that! I know it was his gun but it is my fault I should have made him get help! He was planning to kill himself! He wanted to kill me!" She screamed. It hurt to think about, she knew that Kiefer loved her she just never thought he'd take his own life over her.

"Just relax, Kristina. The doctors told you to take it easy," he reminded her again. After a moment of silence Ethan said, "You hungry?"

"No, but I could use some orange juice."

"So you're craving oranges now?" he said trying to lighten the mood.
"No, but carrots would go great with the juice."

"I'm on it."

After Ethan left, Alexis focused in on her daughter.

"You two are good together" Sonny reluctantly admitted.

"Ethan has been great. He has helped me more than you'll ever know."

"I can't believe Kiefer would do something like that." Alexis said.

"Kiefer has a temper, he's possessive and our break up hurt him."

"A temper? That bastard didn't touch you did he?" Her father asked. Kristina started to lie but what could Sonny do now, she'd already killed Kiefer.

"I've been a fool for so long…" she started, "Kiefer hit me, often. It started small and got worse with stress, during finals and big games he was so careful but he just couldn't control it."

"My baby girl..." Sonny whispered filled with horror. He'd failed her, after all those promises he'd made to protect his family she'd been getting abused right under their noses.

"Kristina, sweetie, you never said… how could I be so blind" Alexis said immediately taking the blame for what Kiefer put her daughter through. She should have noticed.

"Most of the bruises were hidden. Making me hurt made him feel in control. After he left for Harvard things got back to the way they were when we first met. I forgot to fear him…" Kristina paused to wipe tears from her face. Alexis gave her a Kleenex. Sonny forced himself to sit and listen, no matter how much he wanted to punch or break something.

"He came home in November one weekend we argued, he was jealous of Ethan. He hit… hit me and I fell on the pier. Ethan found me and took me to the hospital…"

"I should have …" Alexis remember the story about the grating; she should have asked more questions, she should have paid more attention to her daughter.

"Mom, don't. I learned to lie and hide. Every excuse was cultivated before my brain registered the lick. That night I found out I was pregnant… the baby's Kiefer's."

"Ethan…"

"Ethan is a great friend, and boyfriend. I love him. He … we are happily awaiting the birth of this baby, I'm so happy that none of this hurt her."

"Her?"

"Dr. Lee said it's a girl."

"Are you going to tell his parents?" Alexis asked

"I plan to tell them after the baby is born. They disserve their grief. If I told them now their hatred of what I did to their son will cloud their judgment and their both lawyers they'll try to take her from me." Kristina knew that in court she could very well loose custody; between her parents past and her own actions the court wouldn't see her in a favorable light. Even knowing all she did about the Bauers she couldn't prove anything. She'd never personally seen Warren Bauer loose his temper with his wife or son.

"What happened with Kiefer was his own fault how can they blame you after everything he did to you?" Sonny said his anger getting the best of him

"Dad, if it was Michael what would you do? Would you care that he abused his girlfriend? No, all you'd care about is the fact that she killed him. You'd defend him simply because he's yours the Bauers have that same right." Kristina couldn't locate where her new found skills of perception came from but it was gratifying to know she could think rationally and weigh out her options. She knew that at times her actions were irrational and without cause.

Ethan came back and Sonny excused himself.

His little girl, he'd never wanted any of his kids to go through the hell that he went through. But he was proud of her, she'd protected her child, something his mother never did. Kiefer was lucky he was dead, because if Sonny had had it his way, he would have tortured the bastard for weeks before killing him. Some things were too personal.

--

"I told them everything"

"Everything?" Ethan felt like this was something they should have discussed together.

"Ethan I want to say thank you. You didn't have to step up for Kristina the way you did, it makes me feel a lot better knowing that she wasn't alone. I'm glad that she had you."

"Um… you're welcome. I don't really need your thanks. Kristina was one of my first friends in Port Charles, and I would do anything for her."

"You have proven that. I'm still grateful." Realizing they may prefer to be alone, Alexis gather her things. "I'm going to go home and check on Molly."

"Let her know that I'm okay."

"I will, feel better sweetheart." Alexis kissed her daughter then exited the hospital room.

"I'm sorry I didn't discuss it with you before I told them about Kiefer and the baby, but I didn't want to lie anymore."

"I understand" Ethan said moving closer. He sat on the bed beside her, holding her hand.

"But I did leave out the reason for your moving in."

"That's good because I was hoping to make that permanent."

"You want to move in with me."

"Yes. I could have lost you and I don't want to miss a moment with you. I have grown to care more about you and this baby than anyone outside of my family."

"I'd love for you to move in."

During the passing two hours Sam, Jason, Maxie, and Lucky came to visit. Kristina gave her statement to the police happy that Lucky was there to take her statement. After they left Kristina was feeling somber.

"You okay? Was Lucky too hard on you?" Ethan asked returning to Kristina's side.

"No, I keep thinking that there was something I could have done differently."

"You did all you could." Ethan said wanting to reassure her

"You were right; he was just waiting to catch me alone."

"It was impractical of me to think that you would ever not be alone."

"I should have asked Sam to take me to mom's instead of going home alone."

"Krissy don't do this. Don't fill your pretty little head with should've, would've, or could've. We can't change the past."

"I know, I have to face this, it's my fault." Kristina said hating how all this was making her feel.

"Listen to me, we all make choices sometime we make the wrong ones. You can blame yourself for choosing wrong, keeping quite, or even forgetting to recycle. But you are not to blame for Kiefer hitting or terrorizing you, it is not your fault that he wanted to kill himself and take you with him. He needed help, we know that."

"I'm finally starting to use this brain I'm so famous for having. I realize that Kiefer needed help, I just hate that I never spoke up. If I would have said something the first time he hit me he could have gotten help. There was something wrong with him and I kept blaming myself, I don't think I loved myself enough to leave him."

"Are you going to talk to Dr. Winters?" Ethan asked, realizing that she really needed to see what he saw. She was stronger for what she'd gone through. She was so trouble when she was with Kiefer. Ethan knew that with all the crap that her family went through in 2009 and early 2010 Kiefer happened at a weak point. She couldn't live her life in regret.

"Yes, I think I have to. If I wouldn't have gotten pregnant, I don't think I would have left him. I wasn't strong enough on my own."

"You were." Ethan insisted wanting her to believe in herself.

"I wasn't, I didn't have the will power. Nothing to justify me leaving Kiefer maybe I thought I deserved it or maybe it was because even though he hit me he paid more attention to me than my parents ever did. I didn't have to be an after thought with Kiefer. I sound so pathetic." She said feeling whiny, she just felt like everything was coming out wrong.

"You were young, your family is more complex than most. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be seen. All kids act out at some point, we all have to rebel and find our place in the world."

"I was Kiefer's rebellion and he was mine. I let him pressure me into having sex before I was ready. I let him interfere with my precarious relationship with Michael. I don't think I cared how he treated me because he understood or at least tried to. Kiefer understood what I felt trying to live up to my mom's standards. He listened when I ranted about my father not loving me."

"All the reason you've named… are your feelings the same about Michael, your parents." Ethan wanted her to realize that she wasn't the insecure little girl she use to be; she's changed.

She sniffled and shook her head, "No. Michael he's grown on me. I realize that my dad didn't do him any favors as a kid either. Sonny loves us in his own way but our lives will always be in danger. Michael is having to find his own way; I think Edward is going to be able to help him."

"Edward said that he's interning at ELQ." Ethan said remembering the gloating Quartermaine.

"Yeah, I guess he took my suggestions. My mom's reaction to the baby proved to me that she's there for me no matter what. She wants what's best for me and though she always brings up Yale, I know it's because she loves me. My dad has really surprised me lately, but our relationship needs a lot more work."

Ethan nodded then said, "There you have it, with Kiefer you were young and insecure like most teenagers, all you needed was time to grow up."

"I still think that the baby helped."

"Maybe"

"And you helped me a lot too."

"I doubt that."

"Ethan, even when I was sixteen you put up with my crush and little girl antics. You were nice to me when you didn't have to. When I finally decided to leave Kiefer you were my go to guy"

"Even though I was charging you?" he said trying to lighten the mood

"You turned down the money and you protected me!" Kristina couldn't believe that he didn't realize what a pivotal person he was in her life.

Ethan leaned in to kiss his girl, "Get some rest." Ethan wondered if maybe he didn't deserve her. Kristina needed him to love her, to be there for her, but he wasn't sure if he was there yet.

"Ethan you mean a lot to me."

"You mean more to me"

Smiling finally believing he got it, "Could you go get Epiphany for me I need to ask her something?"

"Alright."

Kristina sent Ethan home and got Epiphany to help her arrange time with Dr. Winters. She was growing up, taking care of herself and her child, the fact that she feels such a strong need to prove herself is cause for therapy. After talking with Dr. Winters it was agreed that talking about what happened with Kiefer was for the best. She also suggested a few family sessions.

--

Thank you to everyone who took the time to review throughout this experience. I must say that of all the things I've written this is my biggest accomplishment. If you have time I would appreciate it if you took a look at some of my one-shots and let me know what you think. BTW: There is only one chapter left of Little Girl Lost.