Ch 13

January 1st

Lucky walked into the Haunted Star looking for his father, only to find Ethan at the bar instead of behind it.

"You okay? How are Kristina and the baby?"

"Kristina's feeling better, she finally stopped blaming herself." Ethan said taking a sip of his drink

"And you?"

"I'm…I don't know what I am. I want to be with Kristina but I'm not sure if I'm what she needs. I keep feeling as though she's going to leave and find someone better."

"Has she given you any reason to feel that way?"

"No…"

"So…?"

"I'm starting to think I don't deserve her."

"You don't deserve her? Ethan you helped her out of an abusive relationship. You took responsibility for her baby, you…"

"Did I tell you, she's having a girl?"

"That's great."

"I can't be what she deserves." Ethan knew himself. Someday he'll start to feel too anchored; he'd want to be free. He wasn't made to stay in one place too long. Port Charles is a great layover and he even calls it home, but someday he would leave.

"Is that what this is about? The baby? You love Kristina and that little girl she's carrying your reaction the other night proved to me and the rest of Port Charles that you are what they deserve. You protected them, you lied for them, you have given up so much. She needs you and I'm sure if you looked deep enough you'd realize you need her too." Lucky poured himself a drink and studied his morose brother. "Are you planning to break up with her?"

"No, I'm moving in, officially."

Lucky figured that the stress of the past couple of nights must be getting to Ethan, nothing he was saying made since. "You still plan on being there for Kristina's little girl?"

"Of course."

Lucky figured he'd try another route, Ethan said he was worried about being a good father but it seem more like he was worried about being a husband. "I saw the way you were when we came into the apartment and saw Kristina covered in Kiefer's blood… when she fainted..."

"There's nothing I wouldn't do for her. She's been through so much, I …"

"Do you pity her?"

"No, it's not pity. She's so much more than people give her credit for."

"And so are you. You've proven as much. You let her mob boss father believe that you got his teenage daughter pregnant and didn't marry her."

"Maybe you're right. But I'm a drifter, I'm not use to being anywhere for too long. I want to be with her now, but someday…"

"You and Luke are a lot alike, but I don't think you'll abandon her to see the world or to find your next scam. You've stayed in Port Charles because you have roots here. You're moving in with her, it doesn't sound like you're planning to run off anytime soon."

Lucky and Ethan shared another drink before Ethan left.

Kristina would be coming home later today. Ethan knew he didn't have the urge to leave today and he hadn't wanted to leave since he found out he had family here. Luke, Lucky, Lulu, the Qs, Port Charles felt like home. Kristina felt like home. The thought of loosing her tore at him. He wanted to be with her, to be there for her.

Ethan was finally getting use to the idea of being a father. He knew that was why he was upset when she told Alexis and Sonny the truth. He wanted to know he had a place in her life, with her family.

--

--

Ethan hadn't been back to the hospital since he left yesterday morning, Kristina called and he said he was moving his things to her place, their place. She'd been so happy that he hadn't changed his mind that she'd simply wrote off his not visiting as her overeating.

But when he picked her up from the hospital she started to worry again. Oh, he'd been perfectly normal at Kelly's where that stopped for lunch; he'd been very attentive asking about her first meeting with Lainey; nothing out of the ordinary.

Then they got home He things were already unpacked, he'd even put away her purchases from that night. The carpet had been replaced, the door fixed nothing about that night was apparent when you looked around. Ethan didn't mention it and neither did she, but every now and then he'd get this sad look on his face that made her wonder if this was what he really wanted or was he afraid of hurting her.

"Okay what is it?"

Ethan wasn't sure what she was referring to, he'd been casually flipping through the channels looking for something to watch on TV.

"Nothings really caught my eye."

"Not the TV, you, what's wrong? And don't tell me it's nothing, I can feel it."

"I spoke with Lucky today." Krissy gave him her full attention, "I'm not sure what I want"

"But I thought…"

"No, I know I want you. I'm just unsure of everything else. I'm a con artist, a drifter; I'm not the kind of guy who does happily ever after." Krissy opened her mouth only to be interrupted "Just hear me out, I want to be a good father but what if I can't. I like to travel and manipulate people out of their hard earned cash, what kind of example would I be setting for our daughter and any other children we may have. I've seen Luke and Tracy; I don't even know how you feel about what I do. I really want to be the kind of man the two of you deserve."

Kristina was stunned, he'd said the words 'our daughter' he was starting to think of this baby as his and she was surprised by the emotional response it invoked within her. She blinked back tears, how could he think he wasn't what she deserved? He was exactly what she wanted and needed.

"You're crying."

"No. Our daughter? Other children?"

"If you want I didn't …"

"Ethan you are her father in every way that matters. You've protected her, loved her, you are exactly the kind of man any girl would love to call dad. Despite popular opinion you are not Luke, I've heard a lot of things about him including that he is a good father, maybe he was missing a lot while his kids were growing up but he was always there for the important stuff.."

"I'm still not a stand up guy." Ethan said, knowing that kids needed good role models. They need parents who would teach them right from wrong, give them discipline.

"Ethan, do realize who you're talking to? My father is Sonny Corinthos, a mobster. I've been raised around violence. I've been on my death bed. I've been kidnapped and traumatize. You are the most amazing man I know. You aren't a murderer and frankly that is important to me. I could care less that you're a thief or a con man. If you need to go and wonder the world I won't stop you, I'd love to go with you, but I'm not forcing you to stay."

"That's not what I meant I want to be with you. I love you."

"You… you love me?"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you. I'm not sure if I'm what's best for you."

"I am sick of everyone trying to control my life. I'm not some airhead or three year old who can't think for themselves. I love you and you love me. You want to talk about what I deserve. I deserve a man who loves me, who wants to be with me despite my faults, some one who puts me first. That guy is you, so stop acting like everyone else in my life and be you. You have been there for me since the moment I found out I was pregnant, you've put aside your own life to help me deal with mine. Ethan you have always been just what I needed"

"I'm not ready for marriage."

"Neither am I, but I still want to be with you." Kristina couldn't begin to unravel what was going on in Ethan's head. She'd love to be Mrs. Lovett some day but she was eighteen too young to be getting married.

"Your dad hates that we're living together."

"His opinion doesn't matter."

"I'm out of excuses"

"Good. Maybe we won't be happily ever after but we can be happy now."

Ethan pulled Kristina into his arms and continued flipping through channels.

"We don't have to watch TV." Kristina said rubbing her eyes. "We're suppose to be in Manhattan"

"Maybe next year, you think every night will be like this."

Kristina took the remote; she knew what she imagined nights with Ethan to be like.

"Want to play poker?" Ethan suggested.

"I have a horrible poker face." she answered

"Any suggestions?" he asked.

She stopped on MTV and truthfully she had only one suggestion, not that he'd want to hear it. "Strip poker?" she said instead. Kristina was sure that her attempt to get him into bed was obvious. Ethan may have been living with her but he either fell asleep in front of the TV or slept on top of the covers. The fact that they hadn't gone there yet was nothing short of frustrating.

Ethan had put off sleeping with her because he wanted her to be certain. He didn't want her to think just because they were living together that they had to be intimate. Their sex life was their business and he didn't want to pressure her. Not that his logic made much sense, since it was Kristina who usually made the first move, but not this time. Maybe sex wasn't the way to go, but he wanted to reaffirm their relationship; he needed to be close to her, "I have better idea."

"Don't tell me Chutes and Ladders?" Kristina asked sarcastically

"Funny and cute" Ethan gave her a peck on the mouth, then proceeded to pull her into his lap for a deeper kiss. "I was thinking of a horizontal tango." He said seductively. Kristina's eyes widen "You mean…" Ethan kissed her again before standing and leading them both toward the bedroom.

--

Maybe it wasn't candles and rose petals, but it was romantic. Ethan took his time, making sure she was comfortable and pleased. Kristina could care less what the rest of the world thought of their relationship. She knew that whether next month or in ten years Ethan would still be her first real love, her hero.

When it was all said and done Ethan was sure of two things: he loved Kristina and he loved her daughter. There was no reason why they couldn't be happy now.

With her hair spread over the pillow, her beautiful face staring up at him, he was sure that this was exactly where he wanted to be. "I love you Krissy"

--

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A/N: What did you think? All feedback welcome.

Maybe you noticed, but I can't write a love scene to save my life. But I tried. It was really hard trying to end this story, I'm not happy with it so it may change a bit later.

Did I get Ethan right? What about Kristina? I feel like I took the Hollywood approach to this chapter and just shoved in a love scene (lol). Thanks for coming with me on this journey, I was really surprised to have so many reviews.