A/N- Meh, chapter took forever, I hit major road blockage with it and not sure it came out the way I wanted. Let me know what you think though, I'd appreciate it! Sorry for the delay in updating! No promises as to when the next will be posted either, sorry! Please forgive!

The only reason Spot found himself heading back towards the tree by the river the next day was because he kept his word. He may have only been ten, but he still knew that a real man never backed out of a promise. Things with Skittery had been extra strained all day, and it didn't take a scholar to notice the tension between Skittery and Chance, so perhaps Spot also needed to get away from the drama of the lodging house. Whatever the reasoning may have been, Spot found himself sitting under the tree, and waiting to see if the girl would show up.

He tilted his head back while he waited, and watched the evening sun filter through the leaves above. He almost felt like he was betraying Skittery by meeting someone else here, but he knew Skittery was keeping something from him, so he ended up only feeling guilty about not feeling guilty to begin with. Staring into the summer sun, he decided it was too nice out to think about anything heavy, and he stood up, making his way down to the river bank. Removing his boots and rolling up his pant legs, he sat with his feet cooling off in the water, and listened to the sounds of someone approaching behind him.

Nicole sat down next to him, not seeming to care about the dirt that was sure to stain her dress. "You came," She greeted him with a smile.

Spot glanced over at her, before quickly averting his eyes back t the water, and giving a noncommittal shrug. "Yup," He agreed.

Nicole studied the boy next to her. Dirty blonde hair fell carelessly into his face, tanned arms resting on top of knees, and smoky blue eyes that hinted at deep secrets never to be revealed. "You don't say much," She observed.

Spot looked at her for a little longer this time, and finally said "I say what needs ta be said."

Nicole was uncomfortable with the silence, and her biggest fault was that she would keep up a steady stream of conversation. It drove her family crazy, especially her sister who usually got stuck listening to it. But something about the boy sitting next to her made her not feel the need for all the talking. She realized the silence was kind of nice.

A girl could only be expected to take so much though. "So do you live close by with your parents?" Nicole asked.

Spot looked at her incredulously, figuring she had to be joking. "Um, no. I don't live with me parents."

"Well who do you live with?"

Spot heaved a sigh, so she'd realize how much she was annoying him and launched into the spiel about newsies and lodging houses, a little thrown that she hadn't managed to realize it for herself. Californians.

"Where are your parents?" She asked when he was finished. Spot rolled his eyes, and shook his head, not answering her. He quickly stood up, yanking his boots back on and rolling his pants back down.

"I hafta go. Bye," He muttered, as he quickly made his way back up to the streets. He ignored her calling after him, and walked back to the lodging house at a steady pace, sighing in relief when he finally got home.

It was still early, and he was pleased to see that only a few others were back at the lodging house. He settled up with Lawrence, and wandered into the common room. Hound was hanging out on the couch, and Spot sat next to him. He made sure no one was paying attention to them, before asking, "So you's find anythin' good out?"

"Not yet, sorry. Every time I's tried ta find soin' out dey all clammed up," Hound admitted." But I'll keep workin'," He added hastily when he saw Spots features harden.

Spots frown increased, but he didn't reply. He glanced up at the sound of the door, and saw Skittery stride through it, heading over to Lawrence to settle up for the day. Spot bid his time waiting on his cousin, and was a little thrown when he headed straight up the stairs, ignoring everyone. He waited a minute and then followed him up, where he found him getting ready for bed.

"Ya know it's early, right?" Spot asked.

Skittery just shrugged, and mumbled something about being tired.

"When did you's start keepin' stuff from me?" Spot asked, beginning to get annoyed at being left out of whatever was going on in his cousin's life.

Skittery sighed, and sat down on his bunk, lighting a cigarette and taking a leisurely drag before he finally made eye contact with Spot. "Dere's jus' some stuff you's too young ta hear 'bout, okay? I ain't tryin' ta leave you's out, I's tryin' ta protect ya." He mumbled his words again, but the sincerity of the statement was obvious in his voice.

However, that didn't appease Spot. "I don't need protected! If I remember correctly, when you's was my age, you's was murderin' people!" Spot shouted, stomping his foot for emphasis.

Skittery flinched as if he'd been physically struck, and dropped his head into his hands, rubbing his temples. "T'anks, Spot. I's really needed ta be reminded a dat," He muttered.

"Well you's ain't mentioned it since it happened, so I's figured you's forgot," Spot retorted, refusing to feel at all guilty for the brief flash of anguish he glimpsed on Skittery's face.

"Cause it ain't soin' I'm proud of, Spot. It was a stupid decision, an' it didn't fix noin', an' I don't want to ever t'ink 'bout it again, all right? I's done apologized for dat, an' I ain't gonna spend da rest a me life sayin' sorry to you's or anyone else."

The two cousins glared at each other for a few tense moments, until Spot gave in, and joined Skittery on the bed.

"I wasn't askin' for an apology. I get why you's did it. But it was scary ta see you's like dat, and den you's never even talked 'bout it, an', I dunno," Spot trailed off, finishing with a half hearted shrug.

Skittery laid all the way back on the bed, silently studying the wood grain in the bunk above his. He had nothing else to say on the subject, but he didn't want to brush Spot off again. Things between them had been strained for longer than he cared to admit and he hated it. But for three years he'd been battling the demons within himself over his actions of that night, and every time he looked at Spot his mind flashed the face a seven year old boy huddled in a corner looking terrified.

Skittery was a master at pretending like everything just rolled off of him and didn't affect him, though, so no one had realized how much he hated himself for what he'd done. He didn't regret killing them, but he'd never forgiven himself for doing it in front of Spot. Since Spot had been born he'd always watched out for him and protected him, and he was sickened with himself for allowing Spot to see that. In his mind it was beginning to seem like he was the only one Spot needed protected from.

So for three years he'd been distancing himself from his cousin, watching him from afar, and keeping aloof when he was around. He didn't want to see his own mistakes and his own faults mirrored back in Spot. He figured if Spot could grow up and not carry the burden of their past, then that would make it all worth it. It never occurred to Skittery that at age thirteen, no one expected him to take on that responsibility. He expected it of himself, and it was slowly eating away at him. He tried to put on a perfect front when he was around Spot, but he couldn't cope with what he'd done.

Spot watched Skittery struggle for a response, and realized that it didn't really matter anyway. It was done and over with. He'd accepted it, and he assumed Skittery had too.

Chance chose that moment to walk in the room, and watched the two boys side by side in silence, wondering if he was interrupting anything. Either they didn't hear him come in, or they weren't acknowledging him, though, because neither boy turned or showed any signs of knowing that another presence was in the room. Chance cleared his throat, causing both boys to glance over at him.

"Spot, can I-" He began only to be cut off.

"I know, I know. Talk to Skittery. Alone," Spot huffed, getting off the bed and stomping out of the room.

Chance sat where Spot had been a minute before, and waited to see if Skittery had anything to say. After a few moments it became apparent that he was pretending Chance wasn't there, so Chance took the initiative. "I need to know now whether or not I can trust ya. So tell me, can I?"

Skittery rolled his head to the side, looking Chance square in the eye. Spite dripped from his voice like raindrops off the roof but it was offset by the look of desolation that lurked deep within his eyes. "I dunno."

Chance nodded slowly, ignoring the tone of his voice since he knew the boy was just trying to mask his despair with resentment. He couldn't fault Skittery for the honesty of his answer either, even if was not the answer he'd been hoping for.

"You's too damn young ta have such anger and contempt, such a hatred for the world around ya." Chance didn't realize he'd spoken his thoughts aloud until he heard the bitter laugh escape from Skittery's lips.

Chance turned toward Skittery, giving him a pleading look. "C'mon, kid. Talk ta me. Tell me how I can help."

He didn't get the angry response he'd expected, but in the end he wished he had. "You can't," Skittery said softly, the venom gone from his voice, instead replaced with hopelessness. Chance would have preferred the anger, at least when someone was angry that meant they still had hope. But Skittery sounded as if he was ready to give up. Whether he was ready to give up on him, on Spot, on himself, or on life in general, Chance didn't know, but he didn't like any of the options.

"Just don't do anythin' dumb again like you's did da other night all right?" Chance asked, standing up to leave. This time he got the exact response he expected, which was a resounding silence.

He was halfway out the door when he heard Skittery call him back. "Hey Chance?"

"Yeah?" He asked, stopping in his tracks and turning back around.

Skittery had sat up on the bed, and was looking at him, but he turned away and mumbled something so quietly that Chance wasn't sure he'd actually said it. "T'anks."

Chance nodded again, uselessly, since Skittery had pretty much dismissed him, and headed back downstairs where the rest of the newsies were.

Over the course of the next few weeks, Spot found himself spending more time with Nicole down by the river, and was surprised to realize that they'd become friends. Outside of his cousin he'd never really bothered to make friends before. They'd seemed useless to him, and he'd be the first to tell you that the other newsies weren't so much friends, as acquaintances, anyway. He'd learned at a young age that people were not to be trusted, and he went out of his way to not be friends with anyone.

But he'd kept going down to the tree, and she kept appearing, and she'd kind of grown on him. She was chattered incessantly, about absolutely nothing, but she was friendly enough, and Spot was careful to keep her far from his real life. So in his mind, she wasn't really a friend, more like a fly that no matter how often you swatted at t wouldn't go away, so eventually you just gave in and let the damned thing take up residence on your shoulder.

He was sitting by the river, attempting to drown out her voice by throwing pebbles into the water, when he heard someone else making their way down to the banks, and he muttered something under his breath. Nicole stopped mid sentence to look at him quizzically, but Spot didn't bother to elaborate. They'd been hanging out own by the river for almost a month now, and this was the first time Skittery had bothered to grace their old sot with his presence. He hadn't been by since the last time they'd been there when Skittery had been being evasive and weird. Secretly, Spot had been hoping to keep it that way. If no one else knew about Nicole, than he could almost pretend she was a figment of his imagination, and not a real person.

Skittery stopped when he saw that there was someone there other than Spot, and he raised his eyebrows at his younger cousin, and gave him a smirk. Spot shot him a look that said more than any words ever could have, and Skittery shrugged and nodded, as he joined them on the ground.

Nicole's gaze flicked rapidly back and forth between the two boys, and when it was obvious neither of them were going to introduce the other boy, she stuck out a hand. "Hi! I'm Nicole," She smiled.

Skittery continued to smirk, but shook her hand anyway. "Skittery," He replied, offering up no farther explanation.

"Are you a newsie with Spot?" Nicole asked.

Skittery nodded, amused. He wondered how many questions she ask if he continued to give her one word answers.

"How old are you?"

"Thirteen."

Nicole seemed o be getting agitated, but she kept her smile pasted on her face, as she played with a wildflower, twirling it between her fingers, trying to think up a way to get one of the boys to explain the situation.

Spot finally gave in, feeling a twinge of guilt over how frustrated Nicole was getting. "Skittery's me older cousin," He told her.

"Oh," Her eyes lit up, and she started firing more questions at them, which Skittery and Spot both answered with short, clipped sentences. When the sunshine started to give way to the early dusk, Nicole finally stopped talking, and stood up, saying she had to be home, and that it was nice to meet Skittery.

When she was gone, Skittery turned to Spot, the smirk back on his face in full force. Before he could get out a smart ass comment, Spot started violently shaking his head. "She's jus' some girl who comes down 'ere and blabbers on an' on, so don't ya dare start, Skitts." He told him.

Skittery grinned, and told him, "Okay, fine. But you's pretty defensive, dere, Spot." He couldn't help but add.

Spot glared at him, and didn't bother to reply, as the two boys stood up to head back to the lodging house.

They walked part of the way in silence before Skittery's smart ass side won out, and he turned to his cousin asking innocently, "So when's da weddin'?"

Spot chased him the whole way back to the lodging house, threatening him with imminent danger the whole way.