Disclaimer: I do own Criminal Minds, I really do....*sigh* I wish...

I know this update has been a while coming, but sometimes real life just gets in the away, so I apologise.

On another note, thank you for all your amazing reviews, they inspire me to write faster, and every single one is appreciated!

A big thank you to Darkbard0 for being an awesome beta and girlfriend. I love you!

x x x

Emily Prentiss had felt loss before only once before in her life, and that was when she revealed to Rossi about her abortion when she was 15. She wondered what her own child would have been like, where her life would have led if she had had it. Would it have looked like her? Would it have her mannerisms, or would it have looked like John? It always pulled on her heart when she thought of that loss. But it was nothing compared to what she was feeling right at this moment.

The surrealism of it all was still throbbing deep in her bones, making them heavy and painful. There was a feeling in her stomach that she had never felt before, as though something had been physically ripped away from her. She still felt nauseas, though the dizziness had faded, twisting into a thumping pain. It felt like all of this wasn't real, but the constant sting of persistence of the scenario made her aware that it was. No bad dream, Henry was really gone. And Emily realised that that feeling in the stomach was just that. It was the void that she felt of being apart from the little boy. It physically felt absent, and if it was like that for her, she couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like for JJ.

The blonde was stood the other side of the mall entrance, as they let the people that had been in the mall at the time of the disappearance out. They had all been interviewed over three very long hours and nothing had coming of it. JJ had stood apart from the interviewees, under strict cautions not to interfere with the questioning process. The team were under no impression that they could leave her out of the investigation, but she couldn't actively interview anyone either. And the way she had been pacing, or sitting, or numbly letting one of them talk to her quietly though not really listening, it was clear how helpless she felt. That here she was, the fully trained, competent, intelligent FBI Agent, with a badge and a gun, rendered completely useless. That was not the description that Jennifer Jareau usually filled, but right now everything she held dear had been taken away from her. And as a Mother and an Agent, it had torn through her.

It didn't help that nobody remembered anything. No one seemed to know anything, and Hotch was pretty certain that they were all telling the truth and Emily tended to agree. All they had was what the profiler had already told them.

Emily kept her eyes on JJ, as she spoke with Hotch. Emily didn't want to pry; she had no right to, after what she had done. She had no right to speak to JJ, after the pain she was putting her through. But she was determined to do everything she could to help find Henry and bring him back to where he belonged. Back with his Mum.

She felt someone come and stand beside her, and she turned her head to her right, coming face to face with Morgan. He put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently before pulling her towards him and in to a hug. Emily wrapped her arms around his waist, and held on tight as she let the tears overcome her. Morgan just let her cry; let her get the emotions she was feeling out that she was holding inside.

"It's not your fault."

Morgan whispered in her ear, and Emily let the sob out that had been in her throat. She didn't know how the team were going to be with her, so hearing that from Morgan, made her break down. Knowing JJ blamed her broke her heart, but if the team had blamed her too she would have been tipped over the edge.

Wiping her eyes, she pulled back and gave Morgan a soft smile.

"Thank you."

Emily whispered, and Morgan pulled her in for another hug, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Any time girl."

He stayed by her side as she turned to look at where JJ had been before, but she let out a sigh as she saw that JJ had disappeared. She hoped that the blonde wasn't angry with Morgan for comforting her, she didn't want to cause conflict between the team, make them choose sides. She wouldn't blame any of them for not wanting to talk to her, so having Morgan come over was a huge comfort.

"Do you know where JJ went?"

Emily asked, and Morgan shook his head. He placed an arm around her shoulders before walking them over to where Hotch was stood. She could see JJ standing behind him, and she tried to meet the blonde's eyes, but JJ wasn't having any of it. All Emily wanted to do was hold on to JJ, and never let her go. She would do anything she could to get Henry back.

The whole team watched as the last of the people walked out. The whole mall had been searched, and as it wasn't very big, it had only taken a couple of hours. Every cupboard, every place that he could have been, had been searched, and there was still no sign of him. No evidence telling them where he might have been taken.

Everyone turned as Hotch's phone went off. They all looked at him expectantly as he answered.

"Garcia what have you got?....Okay, I'll just put you on speaker."

They all gathered around the phone, waiting for what could be very important information, something that could lead them to Henry. Garcia's voice sounded strained, and very emotional as she spoke. None of the usual fun and flair that she always incorporated in to her calls.

"I've managed to get in to the mall's security system and I have found a woman carrying Henry out of the building just before Emily called Hotch. She matches the description of the woman that spoke to Emily exactly."

The brunette felt a rush of relief run through her, knowing that she had remembered all the features of the woman that had spoken to them. Her confidence growing, Emily was the first one to get a question in.

"Garcia, did you see where she headed after she had left the mall?"

"I sure did, Emily the strange and great . She walked out towards the car park, and in to a red car. I couldn't make the registration out, it was too distorted but I'm still working on it."

Garcia ended the call, leaving all of them standing there looking at Hotch, wondering what was going to happen next. Putting the phone back in his jacket, Hotch faced the rest of the team, taking in a breath as he tried to figure out what the next step would be. He had never been faced with anything like he was now, and he never wanted to again.

"We'll go back to the BAU, and we'll discuss it there."

The team nodded, and they walked out of the mall. Emily jumped in to one of the FBI-issued cars and had to hold back the tears when JJ looked to see where she had gone, and when she knew had gone the other way. Emily wasn't sure what she was going to do.

The journey back was in complete silence, and when they walked in to the BAU Hotch immediately gathered everyone in to the briefing room, and watched as they all sat down. JJ was trying to stay strong, though her eyes glistened with tears, and Hotch knew that she could break at any minute. It was better for her to be with the team, be around friends and family. To support her through this until they found Henry. He glanced at Emily who was sat a couple of seats down, as far away from JJ she could get. Usually she would compartmentalize and keep her feelings in, but now he could see the guilt written all over her face. He watched as a tear ran down her cheek and she furiously wiped it away.

Morgan came and sat by the brunette, taking her hand in his and squeezing gently. Garcia did the same to JJ, silently offering support to their friends, letting them know they were there.

"JJ, I think it would be good for you to do a press conference."

Hotch stated, as the rest of them stared back at him. Deep down they all knew it was the right thing to do, it was what they would suggest to victim's families, but this was one of their team. This was different; they just wanted to protect their own. They wanted to find Henry, while while saving as much pain from JJ as possible. The blonde always hated to appear vulnerable in front of people, she tried to hide it just like Emily did, so putting her in front of reporters, was most likely going to break her.

"Are you serious?"

The brunette asked, an incredulous look appearing on her face. There was no way that Hotch was even thinking about putting JJ out there. Emily could feel the blonde's eyes on her, and it took all of her will power not to turn. She couldn't bear to see the look of betrayal on her face, the look that the profiler had put there.

"I'm very serious. JJ would be able to talk directly to the woman, make her see the hurt she is causing. It can only help us in a positive way."

Emily was about to say something again, but she heard the scraping of a chair against the floor, and the sound of a distinct sob. She turned around to see JJ fleeing the room, absolutely distraught. Her head shot back to look at her boss, fire in her eyes.

"How could you think she could cope with this Hotch? She's absolutely broken, and you want to put her in front of an audience? Fuck that! I'll do it!"

Everyone watched in shock as Emily stood up, swearing at Hotch, her emotions running away with her. Hotch's expression didn't change, just looking at the brunette calmly, not even flinching at the way she was talking to him. Any other time she would have been disciplined, and this was an extreme circumstances. Hotch knew that if it was Jack that got taken, there was no way he would be able to keep it together. He had a lot of respect for the way JJ had coped with everything since he had been taken a few hours ago. It was obviously now getting all on top of her. And with emotions running high, Emily was just doing what a best friend should do; looking out for her friend.

Hotch didn't say anything, just nodding before Emily turned around to face the rest of the group. She met Garcia's eyes, silently asking if she should go after the blonde. The technical analyst smiled gently, and Emily took that as a sign as a yes.

Not looking back at the rest of the team, the brunette walked the way she thought JJ might have gone. The place that was hers and hers alone. Coming to JJ's office, Emily pressed her ear up against the door, and she was right, as she could hear JJ crying on the other side. Knocking gently, she didn't bother waiting for an answer as she quietly walked in. The blonde was stood against the filing cabinet, her head in her hands as the sobs racked through her body. Emily had never seen anyone so broken before and it broke her heart to see her like this, knowing it was because of her that she was.

"Go away."

JJ muttered, and Emily had to struggle to hear it. The blonde moved her hands away, turning to look at the woman that she had fallen in love with. The person that she thought she might be able to spend all of her life with. The person who could be a parent to Henry. But now it was destroyed, just like everything else, just because she had trusted her little boy with Emily.

"I said go away."

The blonde said a little louder, this time Emily heard her loud and clear.

"I said GO AWAY!"

JJ shouted, and she walked quickly towards Emily, tears streaming down her cheeks. Clenching her hands, she started to hit the brunette on the chest, always muttering 'go away.' Emily just stood there, taking in each and every punch, knowing it's the least she deserved. As the punches got less, and the grief started taking over JJ, Emily grabbed the blonde's wrists and pulled her against her. She held on tight, as JJ struggled to get away but the profiler held on until JJ gave in and let herself be comforted.

Emily kissed the blonde's temple as she sobbed in to her shoulder. The brunette had been waiting for it to happen, for JJ to finally break and this was it and all Emily could do was be there for her.

"It's going to be okay."

The profiler whispered in to the blonde's ear, and JJ sobbed even harder, her hands fisted into Emily's red shirt. Eventually the tears subsided and JJ pulled back a little, her hands still on Emily's shirt. The brunette reached a hand up, gently pushing a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear, before cupping her cheek, running her thumb along her bottom lip.

Before Emily knew what was happening, she was pinned up against the wall, JJ's lips crashing against her. The brunette knew she should have stopped it, but she was too caught up in the moment. The weight of JJ's body against hers, how soft her lips were, how soft skin was. She groaned as JJ's tongue slipped between her lips, and that's when it hit her, how much JJ was grieving. Gently she turned her head, and pushed JJ back a little.

Taking a breath she looked at the blonde, taking in her swollen lips and how beautiful she looked. Any other circumstances she would have had had JJ against the wall but these weren't normal circumstances. Far from it.

"JJ..."

Emily whispered, holding out her hand to the blonde, but JJ stepped back.

"How can I love you after what you've done? How can I trust you again? How can I think about having a future with you when you lost my fucking son!"

The brunette stood there, just letting JJ speak. It was obviously something that she needed to say and Emily wasn't about to deny her that.

"You were the one person I could ever 100% trust with him, I couldn't even say that for his father. And now it's destroyed because you let go of his fucking hand. I mean, how could you Emily? What the fuck made you do it? You claim you love me and him, well you have a funny way of showing it."

JJ was getting angrier with every word, and every one tore in to Emily bit by bit. She didn't know how much she could take.

"I do love you..."

Emily whispered, her voice cracking under the overwhelming emotion that was engulfing her.

"Well, I don't love you."

x x x

I'm evil, I know but I will not apologise, because that's a part of writing. But if you want to know what happens next, you better let me know what you think!